From Encyclopedia Dramatica
While /b/ is technically a sub-board of many chan imageboards, it is more commonly known as the asshole of the Internets. According to Faux News, they are also a secret underground network of evil hackers on steroids. It is populated by pedophiles, furries, otaku, wapanese, Azns, WoWfags, otherkin, Trent Reznor, probably Will Smith, and recently gentlemen. Also, God has been known to lurk /b/ for hopes of landing some hawt Baby Fuck. All these fags are called /b/tards. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany. thank god it is and for future reference, was over on 1/21/10 at 10am central. rest in peace, my friend
Everyone who was finally permabanned from Something Awful, found Ogrish too tame or are trying to latch onto the webwhore in-crowd call /b/ home. Pedophiles who have crawled out from not4chan come here to post and collect kiddie porn, but they usually do not last long, as posting CP is a permabannable offense. If you're having trouble finding a proxy for your trolling activities that's not banned from 4chan, it's because the pedos have already gotten them all permabanned by posting CP. But then, why would you want to; trolling /b/ is like pissing into an ocean of piss. They usually retreat to 420chan or 12chan after that, as posting CP is common practice on those sites' /b/s.
/b/'s cracked-out mods frequently sticky their own posts, attempting to create their own memes, sometimes spamming stickies until the entire board is just a place to view the mods' stickies. Whiny /b/tards have been begging Doug to unban snacks ever since (even though it was constant whining to moot that got him removed in the first place).
How has /b/ changed your life?
- We learned that you shouldn't be too serious about your copypasta. Especially when it comes to football.
- If you frequent Habbo Hotel, then you'll notice that creating a character with a suit and an Afro is now grounds for an insta-ban. You have /b/ to thank for that.
- /b/tards were called in to troll Wowzaz_86's LiveJournal after he munched carpet on a sleeping girl.
- #4chan is populated almost exclusively by /b/tards. Everyone else is Doug.
- If you've become gay, a furry, or a run-of-the-mill sick fuck due to internets exposure, it is likely caused by a combination of LiveJournal and /b/. You may wish to bask in the healing rays of Quasidan's VAGINA or to cleanse yourself of all internet sin.
- If you have AIDS, /b/ did it.
- You will be Dying Alone.
Sample Quotes from /b/
What is /b/?
/b/ is defined by Urban Dictionary as...
- /b/ is the guy who tells the cripple ahead of him in line to hurry up.
- /b/ is first to get to the window to see the car accident outside.
- /b/ is the stranger your parents warned you not to talk to.
- /b/ is the one who wrote your number on the mall's bathroom wall.
- /b/ is a failing student who makes passes at his young, attractive English teacher.
- /b/ is the guy loitering on Park Ave, the one that's always trying to sell you something.
- /b/ is the one who handed his jizz-drenched clothes to Good Will.
- /b/ is the one who first introduced you to Goatse.
- /b/ is a hot incest dream that you'll try to forget for days.
- /b/ is the only one of your group of friends to be secure in his sexuality and say anything.
- /b/ is the guy without ED who still likes trying Viagra.
- /b/ is that bat-shit crazy old man who sits on his porch and threatens to shoot the children that step on his lawn.
- /b/ is the best friend that tags along for your first date and cock-blocks throughout the night. The decent girl you're trying to bag walks out on the date. /b/ laughs and takes you home when you're drunk, and you wake up to several hookers in your house who /b/ called for you.
- /b/ is the kid that likes Inuyasha.
- /b/ is the guy who buys those mini binoculars at a sophisticated play and uses them to stare at the actresses boobs.
- /b/ is a friend that constantly asks you to try mutual masturbation with him.
- /b/ is the 10 second delay in which you contemplate walking back into the room you just accidentally saw your friends naked mom in, and asking her if you could be of assistance.
- /b/ is your penis that betrays you when he turns into a raging hard on, right as you are called to stand up in front of the class.
- /b/ is the guy who calls a suicide hotline to hit on the adviser
- /b/ is nuking the hard-drive next time someone knocks on his door.
- /b/ is the one who left a used condom outside the schoolyard.
- /b/ is the voice in your head that tells you that it doesn't matter if she's drunk.
- /b/ is the friend who constantly talks about your mom's rack.
- /b/ is the strung out drunk guy dancing and playing air guitar alone to the music at an outdoor concert.
- /b/ is the only one who understands what the hell you are saying.
- /b/ is someone who would pay a hooker to eat his ass, and only that.
- /b/ is the uncle who has touched you several times.
- /b/ is the homeless person at the bus stop who wraps his arm around you and starts a conversation.
- /b/ is still recovering in the hospital after trying something he saw in a hentai.
- /b/ is the guy that puts an "I love dead babies" banner on the side of his car and drives past the protesters outside of clinics.
- /b/ is the friend who, when you're in the city and you see a homeless person, he pulls what looks like a beer bottle out and gives it to the bum - but the bottle really has a mixture of semen and curdled ovaltine in it.
- /b/ thinks he is smarter than you, but is often wrong.
- /b/ is the friend who makes a Tupac joke when his friend's father got shot in the eye, and laughs at the joke.
- /b/tards are witty, intelligent, well adjusted members of society with Honda civics, a mortgage, cats that they don't light on fire, and successful careers as lawyers, documentarians, and public officials. They have two lovely children and beautiful wives (because, you see, they are all heteronormative) that they met sitting next to on a flight to Fiji.
- /b/ is the attractive girl you met over the internet that makes you want to fap, until he sends you nude pictures, to your dismay.
- /b/ is wonderful.
However, nobody should ever listen to Urban Dictionary because they are a bunch of elitist, self-important niggers who like to make up words. The best way of describing /b/ is by comparing to ED, as follows...
—Captain Jean-luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise.
The only definitive thing that can be summed up about /b/, is that each and every single one of the users is an asshole, and damn proud of it.
You have just entered the very heart, soul and life force of the internet. This is a place beyond sanity; wild and untamed. There is nothing new here. "New" content on 4chan is not found; it is created from old material. Every interesting, offensive, shocking or debate-inspiring topic you've seen elsewhere has been posted here, ad infinitum. We are the reason for "not safe for work". We are the Anonymous Army. Cross us and you will fail. Anonymous is everywhere. You depend on us every day. We bag your groceries, we fix your computers. Anonymous sees you before you see him. Sitting at desks around the world right now is a nameless, faceless, unforgiving mafia composed of the best of the best, the worst of the worst and most people in between.
We are 4channers. The people devoid of any type of soul or conscience; we are products of cynicism and apathy, and we spread those very sentiments daily. Anonymous is the hardened war veteran of the Internet. He does not forgive, nor forget. We have seen things that defy explanations. We have heard stories that would make any God-fearing, law-abiding citizen empty their stomach where they stand. We have experienced them multiple times and eagerly await their return.
4chan is a place of sheer genius and utter stupidity, and there is often a thin line dividing the two. Here you will see a state of mind that exists in most human beings, but is rarely, if ever, shown. This is a place where taboos do not exist. 4chan cannot simply be regarded as a simple website or imageboard. It is so much more than code. 4chan is alive and constantly changing. This is a subculture, a self-governing sect of the world, rich in history and foundation. To become a 4chan user is to speak a different language, and to leave behind any methods of conventional thinking you once knew.
There are things here that you will not understand and things you never will understand. If you cannot accept this, then you should leave now, because there is no turning back.
This is 4chan, this is /b/.
Here's a list of 15 threads you are likely to see upon coming to /b/, with no less than 5 per page. No particular order.
Test it out for yourself! It's fun!
5)Omegle chat (So you can spout as many memes as possible to other retards who do the same thing back)
9)A controversial current affair (with extra trollage)
10)A random nation/area report-in (so you can gather in one big stupid clusterfuck)
13)Porn. Often with encouragements to drop 'fap folder'. Who keeps a fucking 'fap-folder?' Why, retards, of course!
14)Fap roulette...spice up your love life.
15)A Great Debate Thread (Where Eurotards flamebattle Americunts about having their dicks mutilated at birth, videogames are discussed very srsly, Americans try to defend their beloved country from jealous insults, and trolls troll trolls while pretending to be religious
All of these threads are scattered with large numbers of posts where you call each other newfag for pretty much any reason, or none at all. Because to be an oldfag is a massive achievement, and you don't want just any old newfag coming along not knowing about stuff on the internet.
Moar at Old /b/ Day!
On /b/ on 7/4/08, to commemorate America's Independence Day, all sentences that do not contain the word America in them have IN AMERICA! added to the end of them IN AMERICA!
9/10/08 NEVAR FORGET
Friday the 13th - LOLSCRIPTS
On June 13th, 2008, 4chan came one step closer to the final solution. A script kiddie decided to post a script for others to follow its instructions and save it in to Notepad. When the script runs, it posts the guide in a thread on /b/. The final result was a barrage of lulz and resulted in the newfags that fell for it and didn't know how to stop it getting b&. This cycle would reoccur several times thereafter, ensuring that half the posts on /b/ at any given time are spam.
9 Debbie Lane Brockport New York
On the morning of August 29, nearly every post on 4chan's /b/ was "hey guys, add my AIM: Moderntopia, also come Molotov my house at 9 Debbie Lane, Brockport, New York - who else has a race car bed? I do!!" or "I am spamming your shitty website and there's nothing you can do about it faggots, if you're man enough come fucking get me - 9 Debbie Lane, Brockport, New York"
All there is to say is LOL SKIDDIES.
Second Civil War
It has been noted that the Second Civil War of the U.S. was flamantly discussed by /b/ users starting on Friday October 10th, 2008 and continues to be debated on from time to time in new threads.
/b/ Day 2008
On October 26, 2008, a bunch of Script kiddies caused /b/ to crash. Refugees began flooding /x/, /d/, /v/ and /n/, bringing the cancer with them. The /k/ommandos began a counter-offensive, striking the /b/tards out of /x/. /d/ was left to rot. Refugees from the affected boards streamed into /a/. As of the 27th, the cancer is once again contained to the smoking shithole known as /b/.
The 100M Fail
Most of Sunday 30 Nov. was spent by /b/tards trying and epically failing to "Get" 100,000,000 (100M). Moot and the oldfags, as usual, moaned about how failboating /b/ had become, and how GETs now meant nothing. This was promptly ignored. 100M ended up being the largest failget in history. It was taken by the furries, closely followed by the britfags.
On December 13, 2008 /b/ came to a grinding halt after hundreds of newfags deserted the sinking ship as it was getting walloped with a tsunami of spam chemo from RAIDCHAN including the familiar KORAX > YOU and some KAYLA > YOU for good measure. For a few glorious hours, /b/ was almost as good as it never was; /b/tards didn't have to bump their own posts and threads didn't 404 in 30 seconds.
On the 10 January, every other thread on /b/ was something to do with Boxxy. Newfags were hailing her as 'The Queen Of /b/. Oldfags Bawwed, and declared war on the boxxy supporters. Due to the mods failing to take action against the cancerspam it was decided that an hero by DDoS was the only effective option. Despite over 9,000 camwhores joining in the campaign against Boxxy by providing an epic number of tits, DDoS was called for at 00:00 GMT, 11 January '09. Shortly after mods blocked all posts to the site claiming img.4chan.org down for maintenance, posting across all boards is temporarily disabled before the entire site 404'd, when actually Anonymous pwn'd the servers. Following the Civil War, saying "Boxxy" causes insta-ban.
/b/ DDOS's itself
From 5th May - 12th May 2009, /b/ and some other boards grinded to a halt and then went offline. For the many basement dwellers who live their entire lives, dicks pressed against palms, lurking on 4chan, this was an unthinkable disaster.
At first, it was thought 711chan was the culprit, but it was found later on that they were not behind the attack. moot confirmed that he made a mistake by blaming them. Moot rectified this, and on May 5th, the attack had been confined to the .zip and .img sections. As of May 7th, .img remained under attack. The refugees had invaded and occupied /x/, /gif/, /an/, and /d/, the residents of which wanted them the fuck out.
No plan for vengeance had been hatched at this point. And as for the stalwart defenders of the boards, the /k/ommandos, they were temporarily out of commission, and had decided not to try to clear up the shit that was filling /x/. Until the attacks on all areas had ended, /b/ and some other boards would have continued to remain offline indefinitely.
In the end, it turned out the culprits for the 4-5th day offline period were a bunch of morons who blindly downloaded files from links spammed around /b/. This nasty piece of work installed a Trojan that raped the shit out of the available bandwith, effectively DDoS'ing /b/ and the other affected boards without the infected users even fucking realizing it. Since the 12th May, /b/ is back up. Well, it is until the next cloud of retards who will download shit from /b/ without a second thought, and then proceed to gutfuck the forums.
One thing can be for sure: Newfags are to blame.
On June 1, moot in his wisdom renamed /b/ the Twilight Appreciation Station in a blatant attempt to get Randall Munroe to notice him. Some lulz were produced by Twilight fans discussing the merits of the film/novel and thereby causing the peanut gallery to respond with their usual wit and insight. As with most of moot's hilarious pranks, the Twilight Appreciation Station produced a rare moment of universal agreement between /b/tards both old and new.
/b/ DDOS's itself Part 2 : A Clockwork Orange
On the 5th of July, 2009 some cunts from the Blackhatworld.com forum, or moot, started spamming a rainbow of images of the main character from A Clockwork Orange, each a different color than the last. This continued for a few hours, and then eventually slowed down. This started up again later on in the day with a new image, and then stopped once more. The Spammaggedon then started AGAIN with a new image on the 6th, and seemed to continue most of the day. It then stopped at 8:30 PM EST. On the 7th, all zip boards were being attacked with the same image from the 6th. Many ziptards flocked to /b/ asking what the fuck was going on.
Many /b/tards rejoiced at the stopping of the spam, but some missed it. Some saw it as chemo, and discussed it even after it had ended (it would have been fucking impossible to have discussed it meanwhile anyway). Some gave the shit names, such as Orangesunday, RainbowAlex, but Fucking Spam was decided. As soon as they missed it, it started again, as well as on the zip boards (except for /ck/ for some reason) its all over fucking /b/ again. After the shit began again 4chan remained inaccessible for a great deal of the 7th.
A day later, new shit came to light suggesting the recent episode of ass fucking of 4chans bandwith, and as a result the shutting down of our beloved /b/, was due to a Trojan disguised as spam that numerous halfwitted faggots had downloaded. Again. Then, on July 10, 4chan and /b/ were
back up and fully functional. All systems are go. Not any more /b/ is down once again. 18/7/09: The clockwork orange pics were posted so many times that they became a meme. Protip: Repost them as many times as you can. Everyone will congratulate you on posting a hilarious meme and you will be welcomed into the folds of old faggotry with open arms.
See: A Clockwork Orange
/b/ Implodes on Delicious caek
- See also 4chan fgt hat day.
On October 1st, 2009, /b/ had an orgasm of over 9,000 which resulted in a strange kind of meltdown. /b/ was forced to flee to /x/ as they always do when /b/ is down, as well as other faggy boards. With newfags unsure of how to fap and /b/tards trolling other boards, there were much lulz to be had. Ultimately /b/ was revived, and the lesser boards would rejoice. It is said that the birthday hats were the cause of the meltdown, but who the fuck cares. A while after it was fixed, it broke again, leaving /b/ frozen and /b/tards flooding the lesser boards again. A few hours later, all boards on img.4chan.org became unavailable, most likely because of the doings of Anontalk.
/b/'s Theme Song
It’s a rare condition, this day and age, To read any good posts on the 4chan /b/ page. Lolz and memes of the grandest kind, Some oldfags say it’s even harder to find. Well then there must be some OC too Inside these cancerous threads
Cause all I see is a tower of memes Real lolz burstin’ out of every screen. As days go by, we’re gonna fill our /b/ with lolziness. The newfags may cry, We’re gonna smother the cancer with ragefulness.
When days go by, there’s lolz for you, lolz for me, For cool stories an opportunity. As days go by, It’s the bigger lol of the legiony.
- Lulzcore - The music of /b/
- The Great Re/b/oot
- The xchan effect
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