YouTube

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Typical YouTube users.
Youtube's sick sense of irony
How to become a YouTube partner: Just follow this example!
Youtube's new rating. I'm serious, go see.

YouTube or sometimes called Jewtube, is a place where every illiterate fucktard on the internet converges on one website. It is also a crappy video site, which is just as bad as Break.com in all manners of fugly girls posing, noobs, drag queens posing, fantards, clips from gay animes, old memes, and goth/emo videos. Practically everything in the "most viewed" and "top rated" categories are either softcore porn, clips from shit tv shows or sporting events, YouTube Poop, weeaboo faggotry, politically incendiary crap, horny azns, stupid pet tricks, Soulja Boy, men measuring their manboobs (HOT!), and let us not forget underage girls shaking their asses on camera, and everything else. YouTube is pure drama, the entire user base being full of overly-emotional morons who will whine, bitch, and moan at the slightest provocation. So much as a drawn picture of another user with the words "poopy head" on it will instantly cause a shit storm. YouTube's most loyal viewers include Juggalos, emos, and Jews. It is also wise to note that the YouTube fags find sarcasm to be scary and difficult for their underdeveloped brains to understand, so it is generally advisable (unless you are trolling the fucktards) not to use sarcasm as, like irony, it will cause a shitstorm within their mentally retarded heads.

It is important to note that YouTube was named by Time Magazine to be the best invention of 2006. Coming in second was a formula to prevent cervical cancer (No, srsly).

Last Thursday, Google bought out YouTube and renamed it GooTube beta, shortly thereafter the era of The Promised Land began.

Unless you're hurting their e-feelings, YouTube users adore absolutely any wretched shit uploaded to their site at all. Many people like to upload hilarious videos of themselves and their friends doing something absolutely crazy like a silly dance, putting on a stupid hat, performing some asinine stunt or prank, or making a movie made of sheer faggotry for the internet to enjoy. YouTube is a website which enables every lonely and desperate low life to spend endless amounts of time pursuing some shred of E-fame whilst providing a home for all others to troll them. It really allows us all to grasp The power of online video communication.

Youtube is almost as shitty as Yahoo Answers in terms of faggotry. However, there is just a little more freedom to flame niggers due to the fact that Hitler doesn't absolutely own the site.


Contents

Typical Uses

The YouTubes is serious business!
Typical YouTube user.

Beyond finding unfunny crap to watch and interesting news clips of internet dramaz, YouTube can also be used as a tool for queers to shove their faggotry down the throats of our great nation. Now remember...youtube is basically just a free porn site for people with odd fetishes. Searching for "gay kiss" turns up more videos than you can shake a cock at. The ultimate pwnage for gheys is when a gay kiss video is taken down, since it gives them the opportunity to flare up and bitch about homophobia on the internets (see also YT Super Fags).

If you find yourself on a gay blog or MySpace and don't see any embedded gay kiss videos, you may rightfully claim 2 free internets from the site's owner. Don't hold out though, you're much more likely to find a straight furry or a diabetic who doesn't remind you of a rhinoceros.

Things First Time YouTube Browsers Should Know

1) For those who wish to avoid it, here's an example of typical YouTube drama.
2) Susbcribers don't mean a fucking thing.
  • If you like something, there is a strong possibility that someone is going to call you out on it and call you a _____ american. Every video that has comments has a comment which contains this "insult", guaranteed.
  • If the above rule takes effect and the object of loathing is not a 9/11 conspiracy theorist, you are probably not on YouTube. Tell them it was done by pissed off Muslims no matter what you think for lulz.
  • Youtube Users are known to complain about false copyright claims against them so they can get their shit videos and accounts back up so YouTube can feel sorry for them and to poke fun at the "haters" and/or act like a total faggot for at_least_100 videos to get the point across.
  • You will always need to make backup accounts to avoid flagging users just in case you are a troll.
  • YouTube is an endless video war to see who can stroke their e-peen even higher and act like a victim most of the time.
  • It is mandatory for all fagtube videos to have a shitty intro (made with Microshit movie maker,(Queer ass music included)) that is longer than the video itself.
  • Subscribers don't mean a damn thing. See figure 2 to the right.
  • By all means do not post that comment about Family Guy!!!

Users

Prominent Citizens of YouTube

Dramatic YouTubers YouTube Egomaniacs Psychopathic YouTubers YouTube Bimbos YouTube Lolcows YouTube Panhandlers Now Irrelevant YouTubers Militant Fundamentalist YouTubers YouTube An heroes

  • Renetto or Paul Robinett, aspiring Joseph McCarthy and holds the Guinness World Record for most uses of "YouTube" in a video.
  • Greg Solomon - Christ punching old loon and arch frienemy of Renetto.
  • Boh3m3 - Frienemy and protege of Renetto.
  • Sxephil
  • NiggaCalledSlickback
  • Mr.safety aka Corey Williams
  • Goronchev
  • Battim
  • Chris Crocker - Thinks he should get a reality show because he decided to bitch and whine about Britney Spears.
  • MysteryGuitarMan - So-called ED contributor, guitar virtuoso, intro creator, lover, hater.
  • Muffdaddy2 - Manatee Boy Love Association pundit, opinion shaper and guidance counselor.
  • Ninkodie-Faggot who only postes video containing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Mostly about Midna
  • TheJoeFrom1993 - A homosexual fifteen-year-old attention camwhore from New Zealand.
  • AntiDisneyMovement
  • Freya9406 It's Meowbark! Has no videos, though.
  • Metalmouth44 - An egofag who keeps making rants on anyone who makes videos that he doesn't like or that makes fun of him. He recently made a video where he protected his secret love by the name of Christian Weston Chandler, but removed it since he went emo due to all the comments telling him that his video was shit.
I saw the light, hur hur hur.

Militant Fundamentalist Christians

Militant Fundamentalist Atheists

I saw the plight, so I went to McDonald's.

Copyright Bullshit

A billion dollar hissyfit.
US Government robots collude with youtube to block unwanted facts which they "copyrighted."

100 years ago, YouTube was a haven for pirates, who made it totally awesome for us by outweighing the camwhore shit with almost every anime, TV show and porno movie you could think of. But then, one day, some faggot from Viacom whined about everyone spreading a clip of The Daily Show all over the internets and the shitstorm began.

As a result, YouTube became Nazis and decided to wipe off every piece of copyrighted material they could find, including those taken with a shitty webcam. Although few of these remain, millions of AMVs remained untouched. YouTube also loves to pwn any account that has hosted these video clips, just for the lulz, but the so-called "offenders" would come back anyway and post their shit again.

Update:

YouTube has now implemented an automatic pwning device to take out copyright material. The system functions by identifying code in your uploads. For example if you were to download some other useless video off of YouTube then upload it directly YouTube would reject it automatically. It can also detect other profanities such as severe violence, gore, nudity, and Trevor Rieger.

Another Update:

YouTube has implemented a system where, in certain countries, you may or may not be able to view certain videos based on arbitrary legal restrictions. Oh noes, British users can no longer watch music videos, which is total bullshit!!!!!!!!

But then, how?

PROTIP:

The DMCA

YouTube is likely the biggest worldwide hub for DMCA abuse on the entire internet, as well as home to the endless debate that has resulted from it. Since the site's inception there have been endless diatribes concerning DMCA abuse by individuals who, at the same time, remain demonstrably oblivious as to the actual legislation. This is usually because most people on YouTube who fancy themselves "vloggers" are un-photogenic self-involved highschool dropouts who would rather whine about The Man than face the reality of their own ignorance.

If you get a video removed or you get banned by someone filing a false DMCA, here's some clarification for complete and utter retards:

  • Upon receiving a properly formatted take-down notice YouTube will remove content regardless. Despite common misconceptions of complete idiots, YouTube does not check your content to verify whether it is infringing of others' copyrights, nor does the site make value judgments on content or whether it is infringing. If YouTube did this they would themselves become liable. If you have something removed you must either:
  1. Drop your own dox in a properly formatted DMCA counter-notice to restore the content.
  2. Perjure yourself by providing false ones. If you do so, the only way another party can then have your content removed legally is to pursue their interests in a court of law in the US or through the international courts.
  • The DMCA is intended to protect intellectual property - not to remove objectionable content. This is perhaps the most fundamental misunderstanding of the DMCA - this and complete ignorance of applicability the "Fair Use" clause of The Act. But because YouTube is, and always will be, inhabited by clueless low-lifes who would rather the site remain a hugbox, there are always those who will be willing to perjure themselves to save their fragile psyche the torment of criticism.
  • No one made you upload anything in the first place, dumbfuck. If your shitty vlog got taken down by some butthurt aspie or batshit furfag then fucking cry moar faggot.

The Banhammer

Every troll should feel the long hard shaft of the banhammer at least once.

YouTube punishment is usually a form of ban from the service by deleting the guilty party's account. However, it remains unclear how long the suspension lasts since YouTube doesn't know how to use email unless it deals with an idle DMCA threat. Some suggest a YouTuber's IP address may be blocked from the server to prevent them from creating another account, sometimes indefinitely. These actions are thought to be invoked for such offenses as violating YouTube's Terms of Service, trolling Renetto, jerking off on cam while smoking a Cuban cigar, disrespecting Mia, or promoting illegal acts. If you have been IP banned for TOS violations you will get the following message if you try and register an account:

If you get this message you got IP banned, bitch.

This ban is purely for the creation of accounts - if you create a new account via proxy, YouTube does not re-ban you if you go back to the regular one.

The truth is that unless you do anything that would attract the attention of law enforcement, most trolls can return immediately after they've been suspended and (most of the time) aren't even IP banned. That is, of course, unless you were stupid enough to put your face on cam. YouTube has demonstrated thus far that their policies towards banning users has been, and continues to be, arbitrary at best over the last 4 years. This is because certain users/vloggers have demonstrably been given the dreaded perma-ban and are never allowed to return, whilst others are banned yet are allowed to return without hindrance (i.e. Theboringdispatcher, Warren25smash, etc.) This means there is an arbitrary discrepancy between a perma-ban and a regular ban and you'll never know which the mongoloids on the YouTube staff have arbitrarily decided to give you.

For DMCA violations there is a 3-strike rule in place, but the details surrounding this policy are still sketchy. For example, some people have had 3 videos removed in one instance but are not banned, others have been banned for 3 separate occasions. YouTube's employment of this "policy" has been about as straightforward as their arbitrary TOS bans mentioned above.

Update

YouTube has made policy changes regarding bannings. Accounts can now be "muted" for certain periods of time for TOS violations or breaches of "Community Guidelines". Being "muted" doesn't mean your account is banned, it means that you may or may not be able to upload content, post comments, or interact with your account during your mute period. As a result of the changes they have somewhat relaxed their policy towards breaches of "Community Guidelines" and TOS, but not for DMCA violations - you're shit out of luck if you were banned for those.

YouTube as a Corporation

Have you ever wondered why YouTube doesn't seem to respond to your queries (once you've jumped through enough hoops just to contact them, that is) or why they do not seem care about the average user? If you've ever wondered why YouTube doesn't seem to care about your videos being removed or flagged, your unjust banning, someone harassing you, technical glitches, suggestions for improving the site, or just about any valid appeal, well...here's your answer:

Google is simply far too busy making money off of others work to care about any supposed YouTube "Community". Dollars and sense baby.

This video, shown below, shows the dirty secrets of YouTube as a corporation. For instance, nearly all popular YouTube videos are made by private companies. One of the many of these companies is, Hi-Arts Entertainment; they create videos for 27 of the top 90 YouTube celebrities. You pay them 36% of the profits and they make your scripts, edit your videos, and upload it. Another thing is how all the popular people on YouTube use the technique Faking The Suspension.

YouTube View Fraud

YouTube has had, and will continue to have, a long history of users gaming the system: scammers, frauds, and desperate attention whores all competing for attention of the average moron to give them a solitary click on their video. Some do a little more than this though, and take extreme measures to abuse the system and garner views.

For moar info see the article on YouTube View Fraud

YouTube as explained by Sen. Ted Stevens

YouTube is not a big truck either.

YouTube is a very great tube, on it you can see people who have made moving pictures, and put their moving picture through a bunch of gigawatts, and gilgabites, until it is on YouTube's tubes. These tubes can be viewed by other chaps and can be put on other tubes, so whether you're watching a moving picture about flying machines or the new telegraph, you can always receive jollys at YouTube, and have a gay ol' time.

YouTube Comments

A typical channel comment on YouTube.
Typical YouTube argument.
Typical youtube political argument.
Another typical argument on YouTube, except this time, an 11 year old gives us his address.

The "comments" section on every video was created with the intention of viewers to post their thoughts and opinions about any given video. Sadly, this section will ALWAYS invariably lead to a rant about race, politics, religion, or other anti-lulz shit by some fag claiming to be an exec of a large corporate business, who somehow manages to find some time in their busy schedule to whine, bitch, moan, and argue for hours on the internet with other retards, converting a comments section of a video site into a makeshift forum. These "comments" are always responded to by similar basement dwellers and 12 year olds, sparking a great debate, one which is seemingly decided by the vocabulary and amount of technical terminology used by either party, otherwise known as intellectual checkmate.

This was by no accident, but by YouTube's design. YouTube has secret random nonsensical wordfilters (the help pages just say to try rewording your comment) that just make comments not show up and give no error message or explanation and one's well though-out comment text is then intentionally, forcibly lost through YouTube's Javascript forms so that after losing a long, thought-out comment that took 30 minutes to make, and several times in a row, people eventually just write, "YOUR A FAGGIT".

Every Comment Ever Made

Every comment ever made by idiots on youtube include:

  • RIP MJ
  • FUCK WMG
  • First.
  • "Any sane person would not believe in God."
  • "Where are her parents???"
  • "HAHA nice video man, I laughed hard, check out mine and make sure to subscribe"
  • "FUCK, I know. but hey, do you want to watch FREE TV on ur PC? Just g0 2 (insert website name here)"
  • "I want the last 5 minutes of my life back"
  • "And I jizzed in my pants."
  • "Pwned"
  • "SUB 4 SUB?"
  • "COOL STORY, BRO!".
  • "FIND HAWT GIRLS AT CAMAZON DOT COM!"
  • "SEXY GIRLS AT CAMZHOME DOT COM!"
  • "9/11 TRUTH OMGZ BUSH DID IT!"
  • "FAIL"
  • "OMG THAT IS SOOO WRONG"
  • "W0W SHE REALLY NEEDS T0 FORGET AB0UT iT AND L00K F0R S0ME0NE BETTER THEN J0E!"
  • "Copy & paste if you like this video"
  • "Get a life bitch!!"
  • "Your gay"
  • "SEE PROFILE"
  • "Jews did WTC"
  • "LAWL PAUSE AT 00:26"
  • "RON PAUL REVOLUTION"
  • "AMERICANS SUCK!"
  • "AMERICANS RULE!"
  • "OMG SO HILARIOUS! LOL!"
  • "FAKE!!!!!!!!!"
  • "PLZ DON'T READ One day a young girl was killed in a car crash. If you do not post this comment 20 times in the next 10 seconds she will kill you when you go to sleep"
  • "WHAT SONG IS THIS?"
  • <transcribe the punchline of the joke in the video here>
  • YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS
  • Ron Paul 2012
  • GET A LIFE AND A GIRLFRIEND A HUR HUR HURRR
  • NIGGER (Automatic if the video has a black person)
  • The middle finger copy/paste that people do just because the autistic kids want to fit in with everyone else who dislikes the movie.
  • If your family is craving something delicious tonight, cum in a frying pan, put on low until the cum caramelizes and add a delicious layer of chilled diarrhea over top. Let the diarrhea cook until the consistency of scrambled eggs and than fill your rectum with sulfur and kerosene and spray it all over the pan. You may want to stand on a stool above the stove while adding the mix. Garnish with grade A long-cut foreskins and voila!!! A great tasty meal the entire family can enjoy!
  • "IF U DON'T LIKE THE SONG THEN DON'T LISTEN TO IT LIKE HOLY FUCKK!!!!!!!!"
  • "You can't play the song right. You're one 36th of a beat off which is very obvious to musical gods like me. LEARN SOME TEMPO N0OB!!!!"
  • "COME TO <INSERT COUNTRY NAME> AND I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"
  • "OMG RICK ROLL'D XD"
  • "Juggalos rule!"
  • "O.B.A.M.A: One Big Ass Mistake America!!"
  • "yer a nerd"
  • "Come and say that shyt to mah face Byotch!"
  • "This video makes my balls soft and my anus sting."
  • "Go fuck ur brother u dum motherfucker and eat ur muther's yogurt with turkay meat u dirty white nygga wit no like that lives in tha basement wit a mouse stuck up that ass and burger grease leakin from your cunt you fukin transsexual."
  • "Please, learn to fucking spell. Thank You."
  • "STFU Family Guy is the best show ever and way better than South Park. If you don't like Family Guy why bother commenting?"
  • (Topic) sux lololol (Other Topic) iz wayyyy better!!1!!!1
  • Did he/she/it die?
  • "...Only the time will tell us if he will be a real jenious..." (ACTUAL QUOTE)
  • "Dude.....that's some screwd up siht" (copypasta)
  • "Look!, "example of user is better then you" as the other "example of user" is right, don't fucking continue replying, give it up already, you can't win".
  • "If your not going to listen to me, don't reply or watch my videos".
  • "Obama is the Antichrist!".
  • "I win against your argument, since reading this, I already disabled my comments on this video". - Typical.
  • "The Simpsons are better, don't watch Family Guy, it's random.
  • "This looks shopped, I can tell by the pixels".
  • "OMG, YUORE SICK. I HOPE (Insert fatality description here) HAPPENNS TO YOU DICK".
  • "Watch the Obama Deception"
  • "omgz i love the jonas brothers! ill bet ur music sucks! ur just jealous bcuz there hot and ur not!"
YOU FUCKING WHORE! THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE THE WORST BAND EVAR! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT MUSIC! WHY SHOULD I BE JEALOUS OF THREE FAGGOTS WHO HAVE GAY SEX WITH EACH OTHER!?
  • "Que hasa el taco taco roho"
  • "Adding comments have been disabled for this video." Usually from a video that once contained a lot of negative comments which caused butthurt from the uploader.
  • "Those crazy vaginas"
  • "hey there have you noticed waht oneshot said om your channel he said that the earthquake in haiti has a multikill and that he plans to summon a nuke over 9000 to wipe out japan and taking haiti withh it and he finds more of the earthquake stuff horry to be laughable and funnt and that guy i am telling you he is aracist you better start to comment on his channel" Typical response to troll laughing at weeaboo killcount.


UPDATE: On July 8th, 2009, Youtube admins decided to share some lulz by CENSORING ANY YOUTUBE COMMENT containing any profanity. The result included a shitstorm of hate and immediate bypass of the filter to vent their frustration (FU-CK YOU YOUTUBE N_IGGERS BLOCKING OUR F-UCKING USELESS AND IDIOTIC POSTS, ***-GOTS, I'LL SODOMIZE YOUR CHILDREN WITH A BASEBALL BAT). After a few hours, the ability to troll the comments in a regular fashion was re-instated, with censored material immediately becoming visible once again. Much confusion will ensue as people wonder wtf just happened and why their FUCKs' and SHITs' were covered in **** for a few hours.

Comment Audio Preview

Sometime in November 2008 YouTube ripped off an issue of xkcd by installing an "Audio Feedback" system that allows you to hear your comments read back to you before you post them. Naturally, this idea should have stayed in the realm of "Haha, what if?" because it's completely fucking useless in practice. The only real use for the device is to amuse one's self by typing ridiculous bullshit into the comment field to hear it read back to you by a robot with a speech impediment. This shit has never worked in the first place.

Every Video Ever Made

Typical YouTube account.

Need hits for your YouTube account? Now you have the power!

  1. Grab a video of dogs looking sad
  2. ???? = Set it to "Had a Bad Day" by Daniel Powter
  3. PROFIT!! [1]

Good alternatives to sad dogs are:

How To Score Cheap Lulz On YouTube

YouTube = fail

If you're in for some lulz, you've come to the right site. Usually go to any video which has a lot of views (suggestions would be a religious JewTubeer or some shit band videos) and just say something completely against the tide. Then a bunch of 13 year old boys will type furiously about how the internets is serious business. They'll probably send you a PM with some long bullshit about how you are wrong. Here is a generic statement for you to use:

"This is a total rip-off of ______________ (insert old band or movie name)"

Better yet, if the original poster of the video is the type to actually respond to each and every comment he gets with a long argument which fills the text limit, well you can say the most racist, sexist, bigoted comments imaginable and they will respond with accusations of trolling while also flaming you back as if they think you typed those comments in the height of serious-ity. Find a user like this and you will find yourself uttering the phrase "He's responding, he's responding, I cant believe he's responding."

The first step in getting any lulz in the above fashion first centers upon finding a tuber you don't like.
But don't worry...you will. (In fact, it's damn near impossible not to.)

Most YouTube users will get butthurt over just about anything, which makes them perfect troll targets. Here are some examples of YouTube butthurt and what usually happens as a result of it:

  • Someone leaves a negative comment on one of their videos (which usually results in an endless series of video responses in which they try to "destroy" each other.)
  • They get their videos removed or their account suspended (which usually results in a major boycott plan to not log onto YouTube for an ENTIRE DAY!!!11!)
  • The ToS gets more strict (see above).

Cloning

A person who makes a YouTube account exactly the same but they replace the l with I or replace the I with l. If the YouTube account doesn't contain those letters than the person cannot be cloned. Clones also must clone the listed friends and make a copy of the person's YouTube videos. Another popular method is copy and pasting the original person's profile. Clones work when the person closes the account as well because then if you close the clone account and spam someone they will think it's the person you're cloning that did the spamming. You can also use clone to disguise as someone to become an admin of a stream. Then you can ban every moderator in the stream when nobody is in there. As you can tell this can cause mass confusion.

Example: Here's an original channel and here's its clone.

The Subscriber Security Hole

Another prime example of YouYube fucking up the page design

Some time ago Anonymous discovered whoever coded YouTube sucks and left a security hole on their website for people to exploit. It involves a YouTube user's subscribers count on their profile page and how it can be exploited.

Here's how it works:

  • 1) Subscribe to target user
  • 2) Unsubscribe
  • 3) Repeat
  • 4) ????
  • 5) PROFIT

The first time a user subscribes, the subscribers count increments by 1, but does NOT increment any time you do it again. However, unsubscribing will decrement their count by 1. eBaum's World eventually found note of this and decided to attack Lonelygirl15's page and bring the count from tens of thousands of subscribers down to 0. It has also been done to her longface, jew-nosed widow Danielbeast and other various YouTubers like Daxflame and VenomFangX. A script has also been developed to exploit this hole with about as much manpower as an Indian call center...but nobody can seem to locate it. The glitch was short lived before YouTube employees got off their asses and did something about it, but the whining from vloggers across the site was incessant and pointed for this short period as many users were upset about losing their honorz.

Update:

The YouTube staff finally got this shit fixed. Hallefuckingjulah, it only took them a year and a half.

Memes born from YouTube

YouTube is known by emos for its hurtful messages.

YouTube Impersonators

Apparently not.

Beast Tube

Do you even need to fucking ask?

Kissyoutube

Type in "kiss" before a YouTube video, and you can download it. Ex: www.youtube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching becomes www.kissyoutube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching.

Dailymotion

Dailymotion will one day replace YouTube for all your internets blogging needs. God Bless those Gay Frenchfags!

JewTube

It's fucking real

A website comprised of Jewish-oriented user-generated content. JewTube was founded by Jeremy Kossen, a Los Angeles-based Jew that was afraid the domain would be used for lulz. Jewtube is also a great place to buy and sell blue-eyed gentile babies so you can crucify them for unknown Kabbalah rituals...

Oddly enough, Google is trying to out-jew the New York City based company NetParty for the use of the name "JewTube", on trademark grounds. Ironically, Google is headed by a trio of Nazis.

Podblanc

Racial or "racist" stuff that YouTube bans is allowed here...

Pornotube

If you don't like jacking off to emo videos and camwhores then Pornotube is for you! Just make sure to click on Straight Content before browsing, else you come upon an absolutely gay video of three guys jacking off on each other. Due to Pornotube's sorting algorithm you will probably be overwhelmed with cocks in the "straight" section as well. This is not a bug, you are a closet homosexual and they know.

Redtube

See Youporn

Shockingtube

A wannabe YouPorn site hosting a wide range of fucked-up shit of highly questionable legality and fagality in video format. Ex.Meatspin,BME Pain Olympics,Fred.

Trampletube

For sick fucks.

Vloggerheads

Renetto's answer to YouTube. Predicted to die before next Thursday. See the article for moar details.

Xtube

Xtube is a copycat of YouTube, but instead of regular shitty webcam videos, this has regular shitty webcam porno videos. The only thing that would make this less shitty is if it had less than 9,000 videos of your mom being blasted by some fag.

The lollercaust will be televised.

YouJizz

This site has porn (duh) but it mostly contains guys blowing their loads on some random whores face.

Youporn

This site is for horny 13 year old boys with no life and an obvious addiction to cumming on their computer screens.


Yuvutu

Yet another 3rd rate porno knockoff.

88tube

88=HeilHitler+Tube=...take a guess! Has racial music on the front page currently.

Godtube

Well it's not for atheists so just take a guess.


Typical YouTube Clips

Previous Video  |  Next Video

FAIL!!1!

Even at flash YouTube fails...

.

Quotes

Encyclopediadramatica, Renetto, Smosh & More!

 
 
All I have got to say is, EncyclopediaDramatica.com is the best fucking website on the internet, hands down
 

 

RoccosHouse

A Message to ED

 
 
Write in more MGM is gay references
 

 

MysteryGuitarMan

Google Search an stuff

 
 
I actually went and did a Google search on myself. The first place I came to was Encyclopedia Dramatica
 

 

DiGiTiLsOuL

YOUTUBE, LISTEN UP!!! NO HIDING, HEAR ME OUT!

 
 
Not everyone on the Internet is a selfish prick, but, Youtube, you're a selfish prick.
 

 

—Some tranny

Further Drama

The frequent battlecry YouTube posties fret over is its growing ties to the corporate media.

  • Paul Robinett told the New York Post "It is starting to appear as though the regular guy doesn't have a chance on YouTube anymore. The majority of the content on YouTube belongs to people like me, yet they seem to be cutting deals with everyone that owns content but us."
  • "I'm starting to feel some twinges of betrayal," said Ben Going (aka Boh3M3). They seem to be more money-oriented than I imagined."

YouTube's "Community Council"

Since Damien Estreich failed so epically at his job as an "advocate" for the community, YouTube, in an act of pure laziness, decided to create a "Community Council" to direct any complaints (because they are too busy making money) from the "community" to 5 users: Bravesgirl5, bradofarrell, sarrycrey, tlg847, Visblemode.


tlg847 on Serious Business.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

Update:

YouTube's officially sanctioned "Community Council" is now completely defunct.

YouTube RickRolls You

On April fools day, 2008, the fags at JewTube redirected all featured video links to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up, hoping users would applaud JewTube for its originality and suck its e-cock. This pathetic attempt at an April Fools joke "fooled" nearly one hundred thousand people, attempting to milk an already dead meme for everything it's worth. Not since Carson Daily Rickrolled his own audience on national television or the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has there been such blatant faggotry. Update: Someone actually managed to top it.

Youtube's New Channel Design

Proof that YouTube's new channel design is shit

In 2009, YouTube started changing everyone's channels and renamed them GooTube beta. In July, they made it fully mandatory.

Features of the new design:

  • 90% of the links and buttons on your channel page are JavaScript. None of them work except in IE 4.0 with security features completely off and only version 4.0.
  • No one can view your videos, your favorites, etc.
  • Channel comments links. For instance if your YouTube username is http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum , your link to view the next series of comments is the broken link http://www.youtube.com/user/&start=10 . You have to correct YouTube's own faulty HTML by editing their link and making it http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum&start=10 .

YouTube's initial blog about the changes has received nothing but complaints from the "YouTube Community" and their "help" forums have had the same reaction to the faulty beta design since early Spring. YouTube never fixed any of the problems with their shitty design and has now decided to make the new channel design mandatory. This is YouTube's way of proving that none of their employees have ever visited their own website.

Here is what it's like to signup for YouTube

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(Moar liek "congratulations" you illiterate faggot)

(PS: You are now required to give your cellphone number to them in a "verification process" to make sure you're not gonna upload a fuckload of porn in there.). Indians and the Chinese quite happily approves of this as it will be used to combat terrorism, and dissent or some shit.

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