Senator Barack Hussein Obama

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

(Redirected from Barack Obama)

Were you looking for President Obama? If so, you can find it here instead.

VERBEUGT EUCH VOR EUREM FÜHRER BARACK OBAMA

Senator BalackHussein Obama, aka باراك حسين أوباما, aka Baruch ibn-Baruch al-Husseini al-Obalamiya, is the current President of the United States of America. He defeated John McCain for the prize of being the next fuckwit to run the country even further into the ground.

To retarded Republicans and Fox News fans, Barack Iraq "Saddam" Hussein Obama Bin Laden Jr. is an unpatriotic Islamic Manchurian candidate, a Muslim posing as a Christfag who may even be the Antichrist. Of course, because he is a nigger, he probably would have just tried to steal the election if he didn't win, although some have argued that this conjecture doesn't follow considering Dubya stole the election despite being a Whitey. Others have countered that Dubya's actions are proof that rap music and prominent black culture are corrupting America.

To retarded Democrats and Daily Kos readers, Barack Jesus F. Kennedy Christ is a messianic cult leader, the reincarnation of John F. Kennedy born as a black Jesus come to save America from six years of Iraq, eight years of George W. Bush, and two centuries of white guilt.

Scientists have deemed it "impossible" to determine which side is more retarded, and asked the public to refer to the Bible for answers.

America's 2nd 3rd Black President

SUPREME FAILURE WUT HAVE WE DONE

As his father was born in Kenya, Obama's ancestors were never slaves, therefore giving him no right to whine about slavery. This meant he had to find something else to complain about; politics. With his black sense of entitlement and his white personality, Obama set out to take over the world last Thursday. Obama is terrible at dancing, but he can still sink nothing but net over the white boys from the three-point line.

A drug-addicted terrorist, who is to Democrats the messiah. Some also believe that he is the devil himself and shall bring about the end of days. Additionally, the media liberal dipshits are now somehow fashion police and told his black ass that he had to wear a piece of metal or he would be even more of a terrorist.

Obama rose near the top of the presidential pack by parroting off the word "change" without even suggesting what kind of "change" he wants so voters can decide whether it happens to be "good" change or "bad" change. Additionally, he has very little political experience and actually believes this eminently qualifies him to be president above the other candidates in the field. No, seriously.

Additionally, reports have suggested that Obama has taken many of Hillary Clinton's ideas and simply passed them off as his own. While some are upset with Obama's potential plagiarism, others have acknowledged that it is just Obama's negro tendency to steal things off of white people. To quote Kevin Hassett, John McCain's economic advisor:

“	The fact is that Obama's plan today is the most shameless piece of potential plagiarism that I have ever seen. He basically took Hillary Clinton's words and Clinton's policies and called them his own. If I were a professor I'd give him an F and try to get him kicked out of school for something this terrible.	„

Sex and Drugs

The poll is closed.

Shut yo mouf!

HOPE

As with all politicians, Barack Obama is not without his dark secrets and shadowy past, and since Obama is black, this trait is amplified. The following is a video of some guy who says that in 1999, Obama used and sold crack and cocaine as the two drove around in a limousine. This mysterious individual then goes on to claim that he also performed oral sex on Obama! While this would initially seem detrimental to Obama's chances of winning the presidency, one must remember that a cokehead and a sex fiend have already served as president of the United States, however separately. Obama counters that no one would actually want to fuck this guy, so the stories must be false. Although these claims have yet to be validated (they're clearly true), the video still makes for excellent trolling material.

Video about the gay sex scandal.

What is in a name?

Thug life, bitches

Probobly a Glenn Beck rally.

For moar on Obama's hilariously questionable name, we turn to the experts. To rapper and beacon of wisdom DMX, Barack Obama ain't no fuckin' name, as poignantly divulged in an XXLmag.com interview:

“

XXL: Are you following the presidential race?

DMX: Not at all.

XXL: You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
DMX: His name is Barack?!

XXL: Barack Obama, yeah.
DMX: Barack?!

XXL: Barack.
DMX: What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

XXL: Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
DMX: Barack Obama?

XXL: Yeah.
DMX: What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

XXL: You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
DMX: I ain’t really paying much attention.

XXL: I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
DMX: Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name. Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.”

„

— XXLmag.com

2008 Presidential Campaign

The election in a pokebal-- err, nutshell

Nigrajamas

Same shit; different color.

Obama's campaign slogan during the primaries.

He wants change... in your pants

Obama making some campaign promises

In a shocking and lulzy much shock and lulz were had when Hillary Clinton featured a negative campaign ad about national security or some shit. The ad is set at 3:00 AM, and the country is going through a terror attack or something. Apparently, there's a phone ringing at the White House, and Hillary Clinton (in full business attire) answers it. The ad is supposed to convince you that Clinton would be better suited to deal with this situation. However, noone really cares whether this is actually true, because the viewer's attention is lost within the first 15 seconds when the letters "NIG" could be plainly read on a sleeping child's pajamas. Why Clinton chose to use this specific stock footage for her campaign remains unclear. Some argue that it's because she's racist, while others say that it's because she doesn't like black people. Naturally, the internets soon went ablaze in fierce debate, even though Hillary is completely correct in suggesting that nobody wants a nigger answering his/her call of distress at 3 in the morning. Below is the original campaign ad along with some links to the ensuing shitstorm. Additionally, many parodies of the ad can be found on YouTube. Although it shouldn't need to be stated, TROLL FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

In an even lulzier twist, the delicious loli featured in the ad, Casey Knowles, says she actually prefers Obama, and denounces the ad as fear-mongering. According to her mom, when Casey shook Obama's hand, she cried and trembled.

Obama's Pastor

Obama in a fez

HOLY FUCKING RACISM, BATMAN! It turns out that Obama's long time Christian Pastor, Jeremiah Wright, is anti-American and batshit crazy. Last Thursday, rather than preaching to his gathering about how to better their lives or the lessons of peace of the Bible like pastors with normal skin, Pastor Wright went on a crazy, lulz filled rant on the various ways in which black people are oppressed in America. Many Blacks agreed but told him to STFU for fear of scaring white voters who believe black people are totally equal now. Naturally, Obama denied all association with Jeremiah Wright, despite the facts he has been Obama's Pastor for many years and even baptised his children. Obama and Wright have even been known to have drinks on weeknights and attend Black Panther rallies together. When questioned about the remarks, Obama rejected his pastor's statement and facepalmed, stating, "Goddamn, it's always the half-crazed, raging black guys that fuck things up." There is still no word from Obama's Muslim spiritual leader.

Running Mate

Being a terrorist nigger, Obama selected Joe Biden as his running mate for the specific purpose of being able to call his administration the Obama Bin Biden Administration. Others vetted include The Man in the Yellow Hat, The Man in the Yellow Turbin, Osama Bin Laden, and Bill Ayers.

Deez Nuts

Jesse Jackson Describes how much he wants Obama's nuts

You gonna get castrated

On July 8, 2008 Reverend Jesse Jackson, bored with not being in the news, expressed a strong desire to emasculate Barack Obama. While Jesse Jackson was preparing for an interview on CNN, a camera recorded Jackson talking with a friend of his about the Democratic presidential candidate. Specifically, Jackson described an elaborate process by which he would forcibly remove Barack Obama's testicles with a sharp implement because of something he'd seen on the Cosby Show.

The last public threat against a presidential candidate's nuts was in 1884 when Grover Cleveland swore loudly into a megaphone that he would soon have rival Samuel J. Tilden's shrivelled old man balls swinging from the highest tree in the union.

After they found out that Jackson's threat had been captured on video, CNN called both the Obama campaign and Jesse Jackson to tell them about the contents of the tape before they blabbed about it to the rest of the nation. This provided Jesse Jackson with an opportunity to pre-emptively apologize to Obama before Republicans could start telling jokes about it.

No one takes Jesse Jackson seriously anymore. Not even his own son, Ill Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. (an actual politician) who took the time to call the old man out.

Jackson's surrender:

The Real First Black President

Barack Obama is not the first black man to be in office. The Great Mother Fucker know as Warren G. Harding was America's first blackie in office, not this raging thundercunt named Barack Obama, who quite frankly looks more like a fucking towel-head. Warren G. Harding's opponent tried to run a "he's-a-nigger" campaign and provided evidence that Harding's own grandmother was a jungle bunny. The country decided to suck dick and elected him. Warren G. Harding is widely know as the worst, stupidest, ugliest, motherfucking cunt snot president, even ranking worse than Bush or Hoover. Once again America has not learned from its mistakes and elected a porch monkey.

Presidency

Yeah, pretty much.

LOL WE'RE FUCKED

Family Life

Typical day in Kenya for George.

George Obama is the evil half twin brother of Barack Obama (who surprisingly has a normal last name unlike real African names such as Oomfoofoo Mutanbe). When not seeking out white wimminz to make love to, he can be seen roaming the slums of Africa claiming to be a drug dealing kingpin. Despite accusations of getting arrested for buying weed on the streets of Kenya, he claims like every single other black person that he was set up. Little is known about him besides the fact that he likes to smoke weed. Plenty of weed.

Gallery

Obama in the Media

Nig. Magazine. Your Source for Everything Nigger

Moar liek "Hungry for Chikinz", amirite?

A nigga in touch with his roots.

Baraka Obama

Barack gro-Bama	Live long and die of swine flu. Amirite?	A challenger appears	January 20, 2009.
An honorable Anon fixed Fox News' mistake.	Some pundits have criticized Obama's nigra name.	Osama for Obama	Obama and his lovely wife.
fgsfds	Obama chasing after young white girls at a local beach.	I Believe	Typical Obama voter
	Obama supporters gather in Washington.	An informative and unbiased comparison of Obama and John McCain.	FULL SPEED AHEAD.
Typical Obama supporter			Coke and BJ Party.
	Extreme Ad		Conservatives argue that Obama is too extreme for the White House
	Loves 4chan	There is no change. Evar	Is dat some mexican food?
	What did you expect?.	mmmm.	Brock Obama
If elected, what moving in day will look like	Pic made by the fundies at raptureready.com.	Senator Obama Floating	Obama has a reputation for telling the truth.
Obama angering rednecks by being an unpatriotic fuck	Wikipedia: OBAMA DID WTC	The infamous picture of Obama in a turban	Propaganda, amirite?
A political cartoon, by our favorite pundit Christian Weston Chandler, Age 26 1/2.	Brock Obama	The unbridled enthusiasm of Obama supporters brings back memories of an earlier, happier age.	Typical non-black Obama supporter.
Any resemblance between father and son is completely hysterical!	The New Dolla'!	Surprise buttsecks
	Onyango doesn't afraid of the Human Immunodeficiency Virus.	He cannot when Texas	Yes, we will!
Obama - Master of Disguise.	Remember Amlitzer! Job Truniht demands CHANGE!	fix'd	He campaigns in EverQuest!
This is the video game that got him the younger generation's suppport.	Supporting America's automobile industry.	Click for free KFC* (*Terms and conditions apply)]]	C.ome H.elp A. N.on-islamist G.et E.lected.
Obama catering to the gay community.	Obama billboard. Not racist.		The New White House
Hillary Obama 08!	Obama's Layzor brings change.	SHOOP DA OBAMA IS CHARGIN HIZ LAZER
		Obama being a badass.	Typical Obama supporters, Seriously WTF?
NWA?	Obama caters to weeaboos.		Obama is overjoyed at being elected.
All Obama voters get a free Obama Caricature dildo paid for by the upper class' tax dollars.	Obama is endorsed by Rita.	Obama gets much support from furry artists.	Obama gets more furry support.
Okay. WTF! Furries must really love this guy...	Obama the furry faggot.	The pic of Obama fucking that red fox has affected his place in the polls.	Barrack Jewssein Obama is not my fresident.
Blatant racism
	What redneck Indiana thinks about his 'victory'.	Obama is a total Prince of Persia cosplay	Obama's campaign slogan.
This is what you see when you die	No caption required.	Oh look baseboll	All hail
Chillin' at the office			Baraquaman
HURRRR I'M A PLANE	Obama wants change	Pretty much explains Obama's situation	Follow the Leader
Support Obama by buying this t-shirt!	Recent Fox News reports also indicate that Obama was involved with the Habbo Pool Raids.	OBAMA POKEMANS	Obama brainwashing a young American voter
Better start stretching!	SHOOP DA WHOOP	Cowboy Obama visiting Texas.	Another word for progress
wut	Change: Can you spare some?		Starting January, Obama will officially begin his Chocolate Reign
teh rezults!	Obama, disapproves of your Blaggotry.	Barack Obama's running mate.	Obama's favorite card
That One '08!	Obama on Inauguration Day	TROOF	President Obama presidentially flossin'.
The Rapture is nigh.	Don't tread on me.	Petting a canine in strict violation of Sharia Law; notice tissue paper on left hand and conflicted demeanor. Aryan dawg do not want.	Greatest America's Joke
We need A DOUBLE.	Yes We Can.	Rejected campaign logo.	Why does Obama hate America?
The New Yorker successfully trolls Obama.	[[Leave Bond to me\|Leave McCain to me.]]	Preparing for his role as Two Face in the next Batman film.	Black on the outside, white on the inside.
America won't put a cross next to a black man unless it's on fire.	Obama in second stage battlemode.	ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOBAMA	Fox News asking the tough questions.
Like every Libtard before him	KFC LOOTER	Ready on day one.
	Obama and Osama partying hard.	Obama campaign shirt "not racist"	Obama food stamps made by Republican Women's group also not racist.
CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE		THAT ONE!	Almost slipped up.
The Black House, kool-aid and KFC	Barrack JEWSSEIN Obama is not my fresident.	Where Obama got his campaign poster idea from.	Is Obama gonna have to choke a bitch?
Pools Closed, now supported by the President Elect.	How he won	That one '08!	Fags know who to vote for
A new age begins.	From BarackObama.com. Brightness+33%, Contrast+8% = White Obama! MJ could have saved millions...	Obama's new poster, showing how he relates to Harvey Dent but instead looks better with half his face gone.	Obama's new campaign slogan.
Is Obama gonna hafta choke a bitch?!	Barack and Bob share views on many key issues.	Emancipated Negroes love Emerald Nuts	His name is Dr.Barackso, he's the rock and roll canidate.
One cracker, one bullet - Obama describes his future policies	The revolutionary	Obama receives the most important endorsement of his career.	Damn... I gots to stay 'way from dat 'Dro
Yes She Is!	A Mother's Prayer	MY PATRIOTISM. DO NIGRAS KNOW ABOUT IT?	The real reason many white people are afraid of Obama winning.
Obama's got style	Obama, aka The Plunger Master (not a shoop)	Badass Obama is badass	Change we wont believe in.jpg Niggaz? In my comic book?
The Transition Blues	What happened to the Oval Office?	The payoff - a special presidential treat	How Obama won the election.