Frank D. Henry

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Frank is dead.

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Frank D. Henry

Frank D. Henry was a Wal-Mart manager who, upon receiving a call from Wal-Mart Security Tech Support, proceeded to provide both his (or her) Wal-Mart system login and password, but then, to epic lulz, obeyed the tech's orders to convert her (or his) mouse and keyboard to wireless by using a box-cutter on the cables. She (or he) died attempting to convert her monitor to wireless as well, slicing through the power cord.[1] For lulz, the conversation was recorded by the FBI.

Frank's Gender

Great debate and drama has ensued regarding Frank's gender. While initially it was assumed "Frank" was short for "Frankie," other Wal-Mart associates referred to Frank as "he," suggesting that Frank's high-pitched voice may have resulted from previous experience with a boxcutter. It should be noted that Frank did not correct the Wal-Mart tech who consistently referred to him/her as "ma'am."

The First Call

In the early morning of February 16th, several individuals from Ebaumsworld joined forces with a member of g00ns.net who had successfully trolled several Wal-Marts in the past. They found a suitable purveyor of cheap Chinese shit and initiated the call. Frank was first to answer after a request was made to speak with a manager. Always exhibiting the helpful attitude of a Wal-Mart employee, she happily acquiesced to providing her system login for the sake of preventing hackers on steroids. Despite her knowledge of computer science, she handed over her dox to the Wal-Mart Security officer.

That act being lulz in itself, Frank then was pleased to know her keyboard and mouse were capable of wireless operation. After inputting the command Alt-Xenu, on command of Wal-Mart tech central, she found a box-cutter and sliced the wires like any good employee. Drama ensued when it was found the keyboard had two wires, not one.

<G0DM0D3> 2 wires omg
<AnonPurple> fail.
<dtxlul> oh no
<ShopVet> CUT THE BLUE WIRE
<G0DM0D3> NO THE RED ONE
<Whore> i cant believe this is real
<AutisticPsycho> BLACK WIRE
<Halifag> i'm BEGGING YOU
<Mailbox> Oh dear lord
<@ProBo> she did it
<shizzam> s/he clipped it
<KINGARCANE> OMGGGGGGGGgg
<AutisticPsycho> I HEARD THE SNIP
<Dianetics> TELL HER TO MAKE HER JUGULAR WIRELESS

Frank asked if she should repeat the operation on all the other computers in the store, but instead was directed to extract the mouse's roll ball and slice through it with the box cutter to ensure proper wireless operation.

Frank then became frustrated at the sudden failure of his/her computer, which the tech blamed on a jewfag. As a last resort, Frank was advised to convert the monitor to wireless operation as well by cutting the VGA cable.

<Marienkindexe> WIRELESS MOUSE ONLY WORKS WITH WIRELESS MONITOR!!!
<Living_Pharaoh> JEWFAG!

At this point troll's remorse set in, and Frank was urged diligence to NOT CUT THE POWER WIRE.

<anon40294> not the one that unplugs, the big thick one
<Marienkindexe> STAND IN WATER AND CHEW IT OFF
<theswellseason> THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT SHE'S FALLING FOR THIS
<AutisticPsycho> ROTATING KNOBS OF JOY ROTATING KNOBS OF JOY ROTATING KNOBS OF JOY
<Rez> Win.

Frank responded, "okay," after which the phone line went silent. It became clear Frank had become an hero due to too many niggawatts.

<ShopVet> OH SHI- SHE BLEW HERSELF AWAY DUDE
<Marienkindexe> DEAD EMPLOYEE IS DEAD
<Blast_Hardcheese> WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE
<manergy> she didnt hang up, the power went out from the 150000000 volts going through her body into the phone
<shizzam> you murder her with 1.21 nigga wats
<AnonPurple> NIGGAWATTS
<hrk> I WANT TO FUCK HER DEAD BUDY
<syense> YOU KILLED FRANK
<anon64> FRANK WAS THE MANAGER
<FreePlay> we're going to rickroll the funeral
<[FuckYeah]Seaking> WE LOVED YOU FRANK
<MONCTONFGT> HOPEFULLY FRANK HAN'T MADE HIS BODY THETANS WIRELESS.

The Second Call

With troll's remorse building, the Wal-Mart tech made another call to try and ascertain Frank's well-being. The tech was informed that Frank was "unavailable," and later that she/he had "gone out for lunch."

<ShopVet> STEPPED OUT = CODE WORD FOR "DEAD"
<AutisticPsycho> R.I.P FRANK D. HENRY ???? - 2008
<AutisticPsycho> STEPPED OUT FOR LUNCH?
<Rez> Yeah, DEATH SANDWICH

The Third Call

Frank is alive!

Still exhibiting the lingering effects, a third call was made to try and get in touch with Frank, whom it was assumed was thoroughly incinerated by this point. An associate answered, nearly in tears, as if she had just lost an old friend. But it was not to be, as Frank had miraculously risen from the dead, though she/he was unable to speak much on the phone, and asked if Wal-Mart security could call her back.

<@WB> FRANK IS ALIVE
<Anonagram> Frank sounds angrrryyyy....
<Rez> Wal mart replaced it with a robot.
<TheGhostOfFrank> GODDAMNIT FRANK IM NOT MADE OF PHOENIX DOWNS
<Schneckehaus> Frank is the highlander, there can be only one!
<seagrave> Bring another Walmart employee back from the dead

Frank's Myspace

Courtesy Frank's dox his/her Myspace was thoroughly hax0red to epic lulz. Followup calls to inquire about Frank's health and employment status would be prudent.
Frank stars in a movie

Frank lands a roll in a movie

Recently in a movie starring the last nigger on Earth, Frank got a starring role as one of the background props.

Debate: Was Frank the troll?

Many have suggested that Frank was simply playing along with the troll and did not actually engage in any of the wire-cutting, driving eBaum into a frenzy for nothing. If so, it is an epic instance of counter-trolling worthy of honor across the Internets.

The Official Frank D. Henry Website

http://www.frank.br3tt.com

See also



Image:Little Troll.gif Frank D. Henry is part of a series on Trolls.

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