Dick Masterson

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Dick on Dr. Phil breaking the truth to the fatties
Ted Kaczynski took the fall for Dick
 
 
Female anger is the weathervane of truth
 

 

—Dick Masterson

Little is known about Dr. Dick Masterson, only that he is a messenger from God sent to enlighten women around the world about why everything sucks because of them. In other words, he is one of the greatest IRL trolls that has ever lived.


 
 
You're paying for the whore to leave
 

 

—Mighty Dick


Website

While the majority of Dick's fame comes from his real-life escapades, he also has a website through which he shares his infinite wisdom with fellow assholes and male chauvinists of the internet. Having an advanced degree in Dickology, Dick has written many classic works, including this list of reasons he compiled on why men are way better than women.

A typical woman's reaction to the truth. Fucking priceless.
A Dickovator


Top 10 Reasons why Men are Better than Women

10. Men have penises

 
 
Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do.
 

 

9. Marriage is stupid

 
 
Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day.
 

 

8. Boys destroy things

 
 
Men are natural destroyers. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
 

 

7. Men wear watches

 
 
Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
 

 

6. Men write illegibly

 
 
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
 

 

5. Men live less than women

 
 
Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit.
 

 

4. Women are racists

 
 
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred.
 

 

3. Men are not sponges

 
 
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires.
 

 

2. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

 
 
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues.
 

 

1. Jesus was a Man

 
 
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
 

 

FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST GUY EVER


DOX

 
 
I don't waste my time sitting around with friends calling websites that piss me off.
 

 

—Dick

Like a true man, Dick puts out his contact info for directly handling death threats. Most of the women who call keep on proving Dick's point that women are stupid because they just ramble on about shit nobody cares about.

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Hate Mail

Dick Masterson serves a secondary purpose as an agent provocateur, inciting self-professed feminists to express their true feelings and views. He simply states a general view about women, and then militant feminists - women and men - bombard him with death and castration threats, often accompanied by a generalized claim about men. Because it's not sexist if you're a girl. Or a self-loathing male.

 
 
I think you need to be castrated. Why you ask? Well deary You cant have these opinions and get away with it, its like being a pedophile - Thats why you need to be castrated! DAHHHHHH!!!
 

 

—-Girl power on thoughtcrime

 
 
Thanks for reading this, and I hope I was able to educate you on something, because God knows you need a lot of it.

May God (apparently Jesus in your case) bless you with less stupider thoughts, not intelligent.
 


 

—-Harini Chandrasegaram on modesty

 
 
why do you think that thing between your legs really means anything

it would not be that hard to just cut off and look what would you really have then being a male would be well sucky the littles thing it and your on your knees holding it crying well go fuck your self (if you a can get it up)
 


 

—-angela on penis envy

 
 
If you love men so much, go suck some dick and get some fucking respect for girls.


 


 

—-hatty on persuasion through homophobia

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Dick Masterson
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