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Livejournal is where words go to die. LiveJournal long ago succumbed to the massive butthurt brought on by MySpace, who in turn was the recipient of surprise sex from Facebook, who is now being gently fingered by Twitter. There is no permanency on teh intarwebs, go an hero.

When you see this - assume the position.
Userinfo and passport to idiocy.

Typically abbreviated as "LJ," and "eljay," and occasionally by nerdraged users as "elgay," LiveJournal is a free online journaling service created by Brad Fritzl (son of Josef) under the Danga Company owned by Mena of Six Apart, who described LJ as "a journalling service with a lot of teen girls screaming OMG."

Just gay.

Often seen as a seething, attention-starved hivemind of histrionic 16 year old girls, furries, homosexuals, middle-aged virgins, old memes and the occasional fundie nutcase. Such a collection of drama obviously needs referees to occasionally keep combatants apart. The gestapo corps of LJ Abuse fulfills that role. Regardless of their status as any of the above, At least 100 percent of LiveJournal female/gay users are either pro-ana or BBW. The rest are lying about not being female or gay. Weights of members range from 45-85 and 400-999,699. However, midgets of a relatively normal weight (because all midgets are also fat dykes, but not all fat dykes are midgets) and Ann Coulter (and her dyke cheerleader counterpart, Rachel Maddow) are also members of LiveJournal.

In recent years LiveJournal has become far moar popular than other "blogging" services, such as Blogger and Diary-X. This is attributable to both its "Friends" feature and its moar-or-less unique way of commenting on other users' posts. These tools, while certainly ingenious, have created substantial (read: unimaginable amounts of) drama. The service briefly going down led to ALL CAPS LULZ.


Proof all bloggers are pedophiles

Can't argue with that.

Recently, Perverted-Justice wrote an article about the "pedophile" and "pedophile sympathizers" scene on LiveJournal. No doubt the NAMBLA fucks over at LiveJournal are wiping their hard drives of the evidence as we speak.

The Great Strike-Through of 2007

On or around May 39th of 2007, SixApart, in a knee-jerk reaction to some homophobic, psychopathic right-wing Christian militant group called Warriors for Innocence - made up entirely of kids whose daddies liked to molest them when Mommy was out working the streets - PMSing at them that their site harbored pedophiles, child-molesters, etc. et al. In response, SixApart did what any good corporation would do - DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING! SixApart baleeted well over 500 journals in a matter of a few hours, if there was any reference to loli, shota, fucking little boys, pedophilia, or Your mom. The downside of this, is that numerous survivor communities were taken out by sniper fire from the dark. What really sealed SixApart's fate though, was that some of those communities that were taken out were, yep, you guessed it, FANDOM communities, primarily, yaoi and slash fandom communities. With the impending threat of having to move to Greatest Journal to get their fix of Harry Potter fucking Draco Malfoy, the militant lesbian factions of the internets swarmed on LiveJournal, refusing to let this affront to their sensibilities and only source of masturbatory material go unchallenged. SixApart, realizing they pulled a hell of a boner, tried to make it go away as quickly as possible. It later surfaced that this house cleaning was pulled 13 days before SixApart make their first IPO on the stock market. Users were not amused.


29 November 2007: Because being called Nazi censorship freaks once wasn't enough, LiveJournal implements a new flagging system comprising two parts: the option for users to label their personal journals as "adult," and a little flag button on every entry to allow users to send insta-reports to LJ Abuse. Since such a feature could never possibly be abused in any fashion, especially not by people with stupid grudges, users hailed this innovation as a great boon.

The Butthurt Report Form

Use scrollbar to see the full image

The all important Butthurt Report Form

In Soviet Russia, internet writes on you

2 December 2007: SixApart announces that LiveJournal has been sold to the Russians. Massive anti-Communist wank, Russian hate, standard paranoia, and a few lulzy "SUP WILL SAVE LIVEJOURNAL FOR FANDOM!!" responses ensued.

Also, the Russian liberal intelligentia (which is actually a major bulk of Russian LiveJournal users), also despises the fact that LJ is now Russian and subject to Putin's evil regime.

And so it goes.


See Also

External links

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