From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO
Megan Taylor Meier, a.k.a. suicide after being trolled to death by her friend's mom. Meier was a typical 13-year-old girl fighting off the demons of low self-esteem, braytheth, ADD, and being fat. She
is was 175 pounds at 5'5½" after losing 20 lbs, giving her a BMI of 29.1, or technically, "obese whore". The killing of self happened after being rejected and insulted by Josh Evans, one of her cute new friends on MySpace. Unfortunately for Megan, Josh was nothing but a fabrication created by evil neighborhood helicopter-mom Lori Drew.
On 12 November 2007, more than a year after Megan's self-murder, she officially became an hero when the story of her blog-icide went public... on blogs, and then on news wires. Smelling blood, all the major TV news networks got in on the action, finding reporters with the best head-bobbling mealy-mouthed fake-shocked expressions and putting them on location "LIVE".
Because Megan was killed by the Drews using lethal hate words and internets, justice must be served! In the same vein that people who are almost raped want sympathy, many butthurt news commentators have insisted the local authorities and FBI press charges for almost murder in this case. Unfortunately, as it turns out, suicide isn't murder. But there is hope! Killing someone with e-mail is the closest thing to murder since trepanation, and that gives Megan's parents greater leverage in the American justice system.
The Meiers humbly state that they do not need revenge. They want the law changed so that what happened to Megan is a crime. They would call it MySpace Fraud, perhaps. Or Three Lies and You're Out. Or maybe, Don't Ask, Don't Dangle. Yard signs in the neighborhood say, "Justice for Megan Meier", "Call the St. Charles County Prosecuting Attorney", and "MySpace fraud in your neighborhood".
Legally speaking, any real success at legislating Death by MySpace would result in An Hero Law, not to be confused with Megan's Law. This is the most popular pro-lobby point of view, but there are alternatives being suggested by commentators.
Megan Meier had previously gotten into trouble with her mom for whoring around on MySpace, and so, as a dramatic angsty teen, her internet activity was being closely monitored. Her mom held her account password, and she wasn't allowed to sign on without permission. Megan was a textbook sufferer of Internet Disease, displaying several
cute fat girl angle shots on her MySpace account, when she was, in fact, a blimp.
Enter the Drew Family
The Meier and Drew families lived four doors away from each other and were close, going on vacations together and having each other over for swinger parties involving buttsecks. However, Sarah Drew is an overbearing teenage bitch with borderline personality disorder. After years of on-again, off-again friendship bullshit, Megan Meier had enough and told Sarah that she couldn't be her friend any more. Suffering from this tragic loss of power and control over those around her, Sarah went crying to her mom and dad. Sarah's momma, Lori Drew, knew that Megan was nothing but a fat loser that should have been thrilled to have any friends at all. Moreover, nobody... nobody ... will ever upset her baby girl and get away with it. So, Lori did what any rational parent would: She went to MySpace and created the hunky teenage persona of "Josh Evans" as a means to snoop on Megan and ultimately exact revenge.
It started innocently enough... Josh popped up out of nowhere and sent Megan a friend request, and Megan blindly accepts the friend request from this person she only now knew existed. Megan's mom, Tina Meier, was apprehensive, but Megan's "He's so hot, mommy!" argument won her over. For several weeks, the boy would regularly send messages to Megan, finding his way into her comfort zone, but claimed not to have any phone number that they could use to engage in typical teenage small talk.
Eventually, Josh started "hearing things" about the horrible ways that Megan treats her friends, and bulletins were being posted... "Megan Meier is a slut," "Megan Meier is fat." This angered Megan so, because it exposed her status as a secret internet fatty. Finally, on 16 October 2006 (the day before Megan's 14th birthday, and, according to weather.com, a fine day to hang oneself), Megan got into a huge MySpace tardfight with her schoolmates. Her mom kept yelling at her to sign off but due to her sick internets addiction she could not. Then she received one last message from Josh Evans:
—Ron Meier, CNN Interview, 16 November 2007
What Really Happened
The truth is that such a short stop was not likely to kill Megan Meier but only put her cervical spine in a vulnerable position. A more realistic scenario is that Megan's mom by ripping apart the closet and trying to get Megan down managed to finish her daughter off.
What REALLY Happened
(Id hit it.)
Megan's mom was really critical of her daughter's appearance.
When Megan's mom found out about Josh Evans, she recognized that her daughter's self-esteem had been damaged by this situation. Instead of nurturing her self-esteem by taking her shopping, she inflicted further damage by yelling at Megan for not following her rules of the Internet.
In fact, it was that verbal berating from the mom that caused Megan to go storming to her room in an heroic prissy-fit, where she eventually hung herself and gave out a really loud death rattle. After the death rattle, that's when her parents went to check on her and they saw her hanging there. Watch this video for proof:
Megan's father explains
Megan's(DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. MEGAN WAS ALREADY DEAD.) his wife's blood-curdling scream at 2:34. Also notice at 0:30-0:40 how Megan lies that she is 16 on her MySpace page when she was clearly 13. Megan's father appears to be part azn, as evidenced by 3:18, "PREASE WAKE RUP"
The lulz, however, were just getting started.
Small Town Secrets
Towards the end of the Drews' campaign of internet hate directed at Megan, they recruited one of her teenage friends, Ashley Nicole Grills, to join in on the fun. On the night that Megan hanged herself, Lori phoned Ashley up and instructed her not to say a word. "After all," spat Lori into the mouthpiece, "since I already killed off one innocent teenage girl already, there'd be nothing stopping me from getting rid of a little snitch-bitch."
The day after Megan's death (without knowing that the Drews were involved), the Meiers went down the street to comfort Megan's "former friend" Sarah, and her fucktard parents, Lori and Curt. The Meiers let Sarah Drew know that, although she and Megan had their ups and downs, Megan valued Sarah's friendship. During this awkward conversation in the family room, the Drew family fidgeted and tittered guiltily. Tina Meier later remarked, "we should have known then and there; they were nervously raking their eyes from side to side like cartoon villains."
The Meiers also attended Sarah's birthday party and Curt's 50th birthday celebration, although Ron, his eyes welling up, had to leave when it came time to sing "Happy Birthday" - to this day, "Happy Birthday", balloons, or colorful napkins sends Ron Meier into a spasm of uncontrollable sobbing. In addition, the Meiers agreed to bring home a Foosball table and temporarily store it in the garage (the table was a Christmas gift the Drews received and needed to make room for).
Now, not many parents attend two birthday parties the day after their daughter's death, Let alone schlep a fucking Foosball table to their house as a favor. But then again, Megan was obese and had only been 13 years old, so perhaps they didn't have much of an emotional investment in her.
Axe and Sledgehammer
Six weeks after Megan self-murdered, Ashley Grills succumbed to guilt and spilled the beans to several school officials and Megan's family. Upon learning that the Drews made up Josh, Megan's mom went out to the garage and, in an act of pure awesomeness, impulsively grabbed her axe (becoming a MILF), Megan's dad his sledgehammer, and - with their His-and-Hers matched demolition set - together they busted the shit out of that Foosball table. Ron and Tina loaded the splintered parts into their pickup and delivered it to the Drew's lawn in a box spray painted, "Merry Christmas". They did it because, as we all know, destroyed Foosball tables are perfect revenge for An Hero children.
After the Meiers busted up the Drew's foosball deck, Lori Drew harrumphed and had no choice but to file an indignant police report, the only sensible thing to do. The report reads, in part:
—Lori Drew, trying to explain the circumstances behind her fucked-up Foosball table
Since the identities of the Drews became public, tragically, they have now officially attained we are the victim here status. They receive harassing phone calls, letters, hoaxes, and calls to local authorities to please think of the children and do something. We are reminded at this point why Trolling IRL is so dangerous.
The mayor of Dardenne Prairie, Pam Fogarty (more like Pam Faggotry amirite?), has ordered additional police patrols in the Meier's neighborhood. "People are just totally shocked. They can't believe that an adult would have done this. The scary part is that when you look at the blogs and listen to the phone calls we're getting, it's very quickly becoming a mob mentality."
On 19 November, Tina Meier ran into puppet master Lori who "asked me to stop doing all of this. I told her that we would not stop, that we were going to continue for justice for Megan because they knew what they did."
Hurry, Curt Drew Killed another teen OMG
On 19 November, The local paper reported that:
—Law lags as taunts ruin lives, By David Hunn and Joel Currier
Hacked Answering Machine
On 21 November, The voice mail message on Lori's phone at her business was changed to a high-pitched falsetto with the following:
—Lori Drew's voice mail message, 100%
Drews Forced Out of Business
4 December, still treating "Drew" as a four-letter word, AP reports these details from the Drew's lawyer:
Curt Drew has reportedly been fired from his position as a Coldwell Banker realtor, and is working at the local Burlington Coat Factory outlet.
I've Been TRICKED!!1!
On 18 November 2007, an anonymous person calling itself Kristen and claiming to be a classmate of Megan's wrote up a blog post full of
rational and exemplary writing misspellings and poor grammar called Megan Had It Coming / Setting the Record Straight. Though Kristen starts off with "Megan and I were sort of friends...", the little cunt-turd then goes on to break the true story about what a bitchy, slutty, loudmouthed psycho Megan was, how she had this offensive obesity problem – "yeah she was kinda fat. But she made it seem like everyone was out to harpoon her" (lulz) – and how Megan REALLY DESERVED TO DIE OK. As it turns out, Lori Drew is NOT EVIL after all b/c her intention was just to "check up on [Megan] to see what shit she was spreading about my daughter"!
Many comment pundits theorized that Kristen was (gasp!) yet another of Lori Drew's sockpuppets. On 3 December, this same anonymous person posted a badly-crafted piece of fiction claiming it to be Lori Drew's manifesto. It lacked detail of any sort, and included such gross generalizations as, "I was distraught over the event, so I instructed the key people involved to stay quiet," and "Megan coordinated a MySpace attack on my daughter." More to the point, this blog entry trolled up thousands of flame comments followed by national press and LIVE TV coverage.
4 December, Faux News reports the St. Charles County Sheriff Department's Cyber Crimes Unit is investigating the source of the Megan Had It Coming website. "Drew's family says she didn't write a word of this."
9 December, the MHIC blog reveals itself as a troll by posting a rickroll, and linking to the Megan Had It Coming article on ED, FTW. Many lulzy editorial retractions, LIVE TV drama, and "You've been Rick-rolled lulz" blog entries are expected to emerge this week.
U.S. Government: Megan is "a big fat clown"!
The U.S. Department of Justice has published a new Cyber-bullying ad campaign with a radio version saying, "Hey Megan? You're a total freak. God you're ugly. And dumb!!" In the Kitchen with Megan
Ron's Light-Up Angels
The death of their fatty daughter having tested their relationship, Ron and Tina Meier have now separated, are pursuing divorce proceedings, and have filed restraining orders against each other (seriously lulz). Tina and Megan's sister went to stay with Tina's mom, and Ron mopes around the empty house with a dripping nose and a couple of shitty Xmas angels.
—St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 19 November 2007
County Prosecutor Pussies Out
3 December 2007, In a much-anticipated, year-too-late LIVE press conference today the St. Charles County Prosecutor, Jack "This Shit is Bananas" Banas, announced (drum-roll, please) his office will be going to the ends of the Earth to stop people from harassing the Drew family. That's right, no charges are being filed against the Drews themselves. Choking back tears, he says:
—Jack Banas, omg I'm on LIVE TV, 3 December 2007
The Faux News coverage also claims the final Kill Yourself message was written by Drew's 18-year-old employee, who is being hospitalized for psychiatric problems and, "she herself may be suicidal." One can only hope.
Banas Sued by Butthurt Newspaper
St. Louis Post Dispatch has sued Jack Banas to gain access to his classified state secrets. In their self-gratifying December 21 editorial, reporters explained why a 10-page FBI report, already a year old, should be made public. Presiding circuit court judge Ted "The Doctor" House has already ruled against them, FTW. In their lasting efforts to soak up as much attention as possible and milk advertising revenue out of Megan's death, the newspaper posted a copy of the FBI report on their website showing that all 10 pages had been censored. The FBI demanded Banas not provide information to newspapers.
MySpace Fraud Goes Federal
9 January 2008, The LA Times reports Federal prosecutors have organized a grand jury to indict Lori Drew on charges of MySpace Fraud. Holy shit!! Christina Meier flew to New York with neighbors Christine and Blaine "Buzzcut" Buckles to appear on the Dr. Phil the same day the story broke. helps to explain WTF, as well as several other videos emerging as the result of Big Media's holiday vacation-from-24/7-coverage-of-Megan-Meier being over now. The Federal prosecutors seem to think Lori Drew could be tried on charges of lying to MySpace about her age and gender. This is what your tax dollars get you after the body's been cold for 15 months.and
With a slow bellowing sound, like a large balloon deflating, the EFF dragged its hairy ass-cheeks into the controversy. Kurt Opsahl, a senior EFF attorney, shamelessly compared Lori Drew with Alexander Hamilton and James Madison, the de-facto inventors of Almost Murder and, apparently, all forms anonymity. "People can and should be responsible for their online actions, but one should address the actions, not the pseudonym."
The only thing still missing from this latest
advertising media frenzy is a press photo of the Be a buddy not a bully tee-shirts from the Character Education Council's Anti-Cyber bullying Week at Troy Middle School.
"Coming" Endorsed by Investigators
19 February 2008, After months of tirelessly sifting through Rick Astley's discography, the St. Charles County Prosecutor concluded the Megan Had It Coming blog was among the best he had ever read. Soothed by croons such as, "You know the rules and so do I," as well as, "Never gonna say good bye, never gonna tell a lie," Banas had no choice but to fully exonerate the blog's authors of any wrongdoing. He also admitted that for all his efforts, he still didn't know the author's names, where they lived, or their connection to anyone involved in the story. Banas, an avid fan of the Kennedy conspiracy theories, is known locally for his mediocre investigative endeavors, of which the Megan Meier murder, the Kurt Drew lawn and Foosball slaughter, and the grand larceny of Lori Drew's identity have been no exception.
City Passes An Hero Law
The six-member Board made Internet harassment a misdemeanor punishable by up to a $500 fine and 90 days in jail. Mayor Pam Fogarty said the City had proposed the measure after learning about Megan's death.
The four-page ordinance defines both harassment and cyber-harassment, making it illegal to engage in a pattern of conduct that would cause a
retarded reasonable person to suffer "substantial emotional distress," or for an adult to contact a child under 18 in a communication causing a reasonable parent to fear for the child's well-being.
City attorney John Young said constitutionally protected activity would be exempt. The measure would apply when one of the people communicating was in Dardenne Prairie (or was called Lori Drew and had lived in Dardenne Prairie at some point in their life).
State Anti-Lulz-Makers Ponder Megan
28 January 2008, The Missouri Senate heard testimony about a proposed law that, "would punish someone 21 or older who harassed someone 17 years old or younger with up to four years in prison." Ironically, the bill has no real chance of passing into law because it defines cyber bullying as, "Using coarse language offensive to a person of average sensibility." It is more likely intended as a draft-pacifier to get Christina Meier to STFU.
Conviction tentatively overturned
The judge tentatively threw the conviction of Lori Drew out the window. He may bring it back into the window in the future.
—an retard, SIX HOURS AGO
Denizens of teh Internets Respond
Displaying characteristic moderation and good taste, and wishing to spare the families any further grief, most internets users (realizing that they have nothing whatsoever to do with this drama) have kept their unqualified fucking opinions to themselves. There have, however, been some rare examples of peanut-gallery ejaculations.
Bulling is Rabbit
—john, Nov 12, 2007 6:15 PM
Furries are bulling too.
On MySpace, hotties ride mechanical rabbits.
Assisted Almost Murder
—There are no words, Nov 12, 2007 4:07 PM
—JR, Nov 12, 2007 4:23 PM
Homicidal Crime to a Minor
—Brandon Banks, Nov 11, 2007 6:16 PM
—Concerned Parent, Nov 12, 2007 12:15 PM
—ann, Nov 14, 2007 11:28 AM
The TV Movie
—Sue, Nov 12, 2007 6:35 PM
—Sue 'em, Nov 12, 2007 7:58 AM
Now this is the story all bout how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
So I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how my parents found me without any air
In my parents basement born and raised
On Myspace was where I spent most of my days
Chilling out eating, not being cool
And whining 'bout how my life sucked at school
When I was flamed by some guy who I didn't even know
Existed 'til about a week ago
There was a minor earthquake and my mom got scared
And found me danglin' in the closet without any air
She whistled for my dad and when he came near
He said "I called the paramedics, they're already here!"
They gave me CPR til their faces turned red
But they said, "Nah, forget it, she's already dead."
I pulled up to the morgue around 7 or 8
And Lori Drew yelled "Yo ho, troll ya later!"
I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there
To get eaten by worms with dirt in my hair.
End of Days
—Sue, Nov 12, 2007 1:22 PM
—Steve, Nov 12, 2007 1:13 PM
—HF, Nov 12, 2007 6:35 PM
The 18 November ABC News broadcast contained, without explanation, subliminal images of someone's MySpace page. As a result, phrases such as "Jesus is my home boy" and "masturbate" could be seen during frame-by-frame replay of the video.
The 4 December NBC News broadcast, during the first ever televised interview with Lori Drew's attorney, displayed without explanation a large splashy saying "LORI DREW IS A PSYCHOPATH". The splashy quickly switched to a photo of Lori Drew before the interview concluded.
Lori Drew indicted for almost murder
Megan's father, Ron Meier, 38, said he began to cry "tears of joy" when he heard of the indictment. The parents are now separated, which Tina Meier has said stemmed in part from the circumstances of their daughter's death. However, it is clear that she actually just loves the cock and has gotta catch 'em all.
Megan Meier Foundation™ contact information
If you wish to make a donation to the Megan Meier Foundation™ or are interested in purchasing the "closet thing," you can contact Tina Meier at email@example.com, or by slow mail at Megan Meier Foundation P.O. Box 32 Cottleville, MO 63338. The Megan Meier Foundation™ website is located here.
© Copyright 2008 The Megan Meier Foundation. All Rights Reserved. (No, seriously, it says that on the website.)
lens flare lol.
Note the retarded look.
Buying a dog did not keep her safe.
CNN teen-sploitation splashie.
Gratuitous Use of Loli Cleavage.
- An hero
- Megan Had It Coming
- Megan Meier's Poetry
- Paul Tilley - Avid fan of Megan; killed himself to be with her.
- You don't have any friends
- O'Fallon Journal mirror
- St. Charles Journal mirror
- Suburban Journals mirror
- pics of Lori Moo man the harpoons!!
- Chicago Tribune
- "Kristen" tells the world what a bitch Megan was
- The real Josh Evans
- The Official Police Report
|Megan Meier is part of a series on An Hero.|