Sacha Baron Cohen
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
|His other personas and characters may be found here, example you are lurking for Uber Brüno !?|
Typical of Jewish comedies in the style of Will and Grace, Borat's productions compensate for the absence of taste by an overflow of gay inuendo.
Lately he has turned his focus from straight reporting to public awareness. In 1969, he spent time in England and America trying to capture the essence of Western Culture, including Democracy and Freedom, for the people of Kazakhstan.
Mr. Sagdiyev's values are deeply rooted in Kazakh tradition, so in the true spirit of cultural tolerance through the free exchange of ideals, he always tries to broaden the horizons of those he visits as he too learns local customs. One especially notable act of Borat "giving back" was a crowd-pleasing performance in an Arizona country music bar, where he sang the hit Kazakh song "Throw The Jew Down The Well (So My Country Can Be Free)" about the plight of Jews in Kazakhstan. The chorus is:
- Throw the Jew down the well
- So my country can be free
- You must grab him by his horns
- Then we have a big party
Recently, however, a Jewish actor called Sasha Cohen sparked controversy for Borat by impersonating the newsman on TV lampooning such time-honored Kazakh customs as incest and rape, causing the Kazakhstan government to publicly speak out against Mr. Sagdiyev, ban him from their internet, and threaten frivolous litigation. In order to set the record straight, Borat posted the following on his own American website:
- "In response to Mr. Ashykbayev's comments, I'd like to state I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my Government's decision to sue this Jew. Since the 2003 Tuleyakiv reforms, Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world. Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats, and age of consent has been raised to eight years old. Please, captain of industry; I invite you to come to Kazakhstan where we have incredible natural resources, hardworking labor, and some of the cleanest prostitutes in whole of central Asia. Chenquieh!"
- "Great success!"
- (After a long wet French Kiss) "This is my sister. She is 4th best prostitute in whole Kazakhstan."
- "Sexy time!"
- "He decided not to fly by air, in case the Jews repeated their attacks of 9/11."
- "How dare you make hand-party all over Pamela!!"
- (After asking Pamela Anderson to marry him) "Agreement is not necessary."
- "I am a homosexual."
Fame and Fortune
Borat's fame has reached such massive proportions that it will no longer fit in a TV set. Last November, he hosted the MTV Europe Awards  in Lisbon, Portugal and his big screen debut is slated for release as soon as last Thursday.
The documentary, Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan was commissioned by the Kazakh Government), takes a look at the American people, their culture and their psyche as seen through the eyes of Mr. Sagdiyev, who's previous assignments here have made him as beloved to the American people as they are to him (except for the Jews, who make it necessary for him to travel by road and rail in case (to quote Borat) "The Jews repeat their attack of 9/11.”. Recently some frat boys decided to sue Borat for deflaming them in front of the world. The president of the national fraternity supported them, not wanting fraternities to become associated with inebriation, racism or misogyny.
Sadly, much cancer has formed as a result of Borat's exploits. For at least 100 years after the movie came out, 13 year old boys were to be heard quoting the movie incessantly, to the tune of "very nise!" or the ever-infuriating "my name-a Borat". While vaguely amusing when first heard, these hilarious one-liners very rapidly pissed off anyone with more than 3 brain cells; so of course they were generally well-liked. Those who quoted these lines (often in a poor emulation of the original delivery, imitating Borat's voice) gained an almost orgasmic gratification when they received the one or two polite smiles from people who didn't have the grapes to spit in their face and tell them to fornicate themselves with a palm tree.
Impressions are done by frat boys and drunk girls who think they are the next Richard Pryor. After a shitty impression is done people are forced to laugh even though they want the person to die a horrible death. These people are easy to fuck with. You can make at least one pretentious asshole leave any party by screaming 'My name-a Borat! High Five!' in a voice that is a mix of Kermit and Louie Armstrong. Get three friends laughing hysterically at your joke and your new friend will be one step closer to becoming an hero
Is Borat Like ED?
- Unlike some other shitty shows that try to be edgy (like South Park and Family Guy), Borat doesn't only troll people who deserve to be trolled, or try to justify his trolling - he trolls because he fucking can.
- He has several sockpuppets.
- He gets sued every week or so.
- He has been noted for displaying pedophilic pretensions. At a concert, he started dry-humping a preteen. If you were to try this at your school concert you could easily get booked.
- He's a kike. Although he may be ugly and hairy, at least he's not a furry. Although he was raped by a bear.
In real Kazakhstan, the most popular Kazakh is Freestailo, not Jew Borat.
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Sparta is nice!
A big fan of prostitutes, Borat's sister is also #4 best prostitute in all of Kazakhstan.
The Jew Behind the Sockpuppets
Cohen with his kitchen staff.
- Kazakhs still butthurt over Borat.
- Kazakhstan's War of Words Against Borat.
- President Bush to hold Borat talks with Kazakhs after diplomatic row.
- Kazakhstan spends $40,000,000 on movie to counter Borat.
- Documentary trailer #1
- Documentary trailer #2
- Borat MP3 soundboard
|Sacha Baron Cohen|
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