Gorilla199
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| —Chris, on his youtube user page sticking it to the man. |
gorilla199, aka Chris Constantine is a 50 year old Christian YouTuber and anti-NWO oracle from London. Along with his sexy sidekick, Louise, their divine mission is to warn planet earth of the the impending end of the world when intergallactic demons come from the planet Nibiru when the LHC or Satan's Stargate creates a portal or some shit. Also to distribute pirate DVDs and knock-off clothes for easy cashprofit.
Contents |
Early Life
Chris was a heavy user of methamphetamine through his teen years and avoided jail time by an agreement to attend rehabilitation. Unfortunately, he would later join a religiously motivated rehab group, and due to the irreversible brain damage sustained, took their stances to insane ideas far beyond what they had intended and he was subsequently kicked out. He was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at the age of 20, but refused treatment. Being deemed unfit to function on his own in society, and of permanently unsound mind in a court of law, he was left under the care of his wife Louise as his legal guardian, who barely met the limits of sound mind herself, suspected of abusing hallucinogenics.
Beliefs
Chris' beliefs are strangely similar to those of David Icke, another, more globally successful anti-NWO warrior, but are much more bible based.
- Satan lives on the planet Nibiru along with lizard men called Tares, who are total dicks.
- Tares also live on earth, disguised as humans.
- Freemasons, who make up 20% of the world's population and own 99% of businesses are in league with the Tares and Satan.
- Institutions and businesses can be identified as Masonic by their use of triangles, semicircles or disks in company logos, building designs, even dance steps.
- Satan invented the wooly mammoths to kill the human race, since God doesn't make dangerous animals.
- The sun and the moon are the same size.
- The Nazi party were formed to fight Jesus two thousand years ago in Nazereth. That's where the "Naz" bit comes from.
- The BBC are dicks.
- Anyone who has the courage to voice their disagreement with him is a freemason. No exceptions.
- Triangles, circles, and x's are satanic.
- Any religion besides christianity is satanic.
LHC: Satan's Stargate
Chris' important work spreading the word goes back a while on YouTube but he brought himself to the attention of a lot of people in April 2008 when he posted the following video:
| —gorilla199, fully understanding the nomenclature of particle physics |
A more commonly held belief is that Chris is off his meds again, however for those of you who didn't want to subject yourself to the tl;dw life changing warning of our peril:
- The LHC is built, by complete bastards, to rip a hole in the Van Allen Belt.
- Its a satanic lie to take you away from Jesus and on to a particle.
- When you say something is strange you mean Satanic. NO FUCKING EXCEPTIONS.
- EU Building built in same pattern as Tower of Babel.
- You can tell him he's nuts if you like. He will totally respect your opinion.
Things which are Satanic
To help others identify Satan/space lizards in our every day lives Chris gives compelling explanations in his videos why the following are satanic forces:
Things which are not Satanic
- Chris Constantine.
- Louise Constantine.
- Jesus.
- Guitars.
- Geometric patterns which are neither triangles nor disks.
- Possibly mongooses, devourers of the snake; the gayest and least legged of the reptile kingdom.
Mental Illness
| —Chris, on the correct way to "casually" harass the local greengrocer |
As hard as it is to believe, some people, namely the medical staff that diagnosed him, and presumably the shop assistants he shakes down about their triangular decor consider Chris to be seriously mentally ill.
Piracy
| —Chris, proving that the venue for the trial was not in the infinite |
However, luckily for Chris, the lies of the evil reptilian space men worked in his defence when he was given a lenient sentence of community service.
Chris' Missus
Chris' wife speaks in tongues, and can often be found filled with The Holy Spirit as observed in this completely spontaneous, Blair Witch-esque video.
| —Louise, not drunk. |
His music
Chris and Louise are not merely limited to making documentaries on youtube and use other mediums to alert the public of the Nibiru threat, most notably through song.
Charles Manson had his lyrics of The Beatles as prophesies of the apocalypse caused by black people, Chris has the Rocky Horror Show and Freemasons, proving that even at his most badshit insane, everything he sells, does or even imagines is a cheap knock-off:
| —Chris, at 5:35, wittily improvising lyrics. |
| —Chris, totally not ripping off Green Day's American Idiot at all. |
Agent Gorilla199: Undercover Space Lizard!
Even on holiday, Chris and Louise are on call, fighting intergallactic space lizards that invite them into their homes. Going deep undercover as tourists, they managed to uncover a Jamaican sect of space lizard freemasons. What may, to the layman look like an ordinary tourist trap is, in fact rich with masonic overtones.
Surprisingly the pair escaped with their lives despite informing the man with satanic triangle shaped beard patch that they expose freemasons, and, given the demonic nature of Tares, suggests that either satan didn't mention that they were coming or that satanic space lizards are dumb as shit.
Beware Internet Trolls; they could be Freemasons
In a more recent video, Gorilla199 examines just how many Freemasons and Space Lizards actually double as Internet trolls, and just how easy it is to distinguish them from ordinary trolls. Here are some clues to help you tell if the person trolling you is a Freemason or Tare.
- They hold up the Satanic hand sign.
- They have a bunch of "X"'s in their name. For example: xxxIdiotxxx
- They have a bunch of "O"'s in their name. For example: oO0Imbecile0Oo
- They use 666 in their name. For example: 666Imbecile666
- They have a channel background or logo of anything with fangs (vampires, snakes, etc).
- They have a channel background or logo with swirls in it.
- They disagree with him.
Criticism
Alternative Theories
gorilla199 vs. TheAmazingAtheist
On 20 February 2009, a space lizard stuffed into a fatsuit with a neckbeard attempted to discredit Chris' divine message point by point. Despite making accusations about just about everyone being in league with satan and condemning them to hell on a daily basis, Chris was offended by what was obviously completely unwarranted attack on a humble servant of God and drama ensued.
| —TheAmazingAtheist, attempting to Intellectually Checkmate Chris' foolproof space lizard detection technique with argumentum ad penguinum. |
| —Chris challenging the legions of satanic space lizard subscribers to TheAmazingAtheist's channel. |
Other Critics
Even though the giant corporation behind YouTube is undoubtedly run by Tares and Freemasons, Chris has become adept at using their system against his YouTube critics and had, at one point blocked 2883 people and at least one account suspended. Occasionally though, he confronts the reptillians
Lol, I nuked that dumb video. Moron couldn't forge well enough. Then again, watch out for the NWO, I herd they liek to put special chemicols into your food which is really fed into your food but it makes you have no control of yer bladder anywayz. And I also herd from a little birdie called Rense that the chinese r gonna run the NWO out of a basement an that we r all belong to them because we wasted all our time and efforts on wars for the Jews.
I herd Jews are planning to launch Israel into space and colonise the moon bcause they found gold there last week. --SecretTrollAccount 06:09, 15 October 2009 (UTC)
straight on. Warning: Video contains high levels of BAWW from both sides.
| —Chris, threatening a 13 year old boy across the internet. |
| —Chris, pretending to have friends. |
Also if you ask him to prove that freemasons are evil, then he will either accuse you of being one or block you, then delete the comment.
Youtube vote(rigging) and leaving YouTube forever
In August 2008, Chris decided to put to the vote if he should leave YouTube.
This is a vote We will comply with the highest vote count. Please note that Troll accounts will not be included in the vote
Given that the term troll applies to anyone that disagrees with him, the end result of the vote is perhaps not suprising. Chris stayed and blessed his fans.
WE STAY! Our thanks to our viewers. We shall endeavour to make even better video for you. May Jesus Bless you all Amen
Amen. As if blessing his YouTube congregation wasn't enough, he went one further and forgave and unblocked the 2883 people via song.
Truly, a king among men.
See Also
External Links
- gorilla199 on Youtube Abuse Chris/Louise here
- BBC News on how he is mental enough to get away with piracy
- Let The Truth Be Known Chris and Louise's official website with links to all his videos.
- A vacant Stickam page
- A soundboard made by one of his fans
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| Gorilla199 is part of a series on |
| YouTube |
| Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage. |
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| Gorilla199 is part of a series on |
| Truth |
| Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |
