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Encyclopedia Dramatica:Nuclear revert

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An as of yet invented Weapon of Mass Reversion, some theorize that such a bomb would bring peace to the internets. Or, at least, the contributers of Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Contents

Construction

A nuclear revert bomb would most likely contain a bot, programmed to revert all of a given user's edits. The bot could be activated only by a certain SysOps, or by any of them. It would then go around the recent changes page reverting all the crap that some cockmongling cumguzzler has created. Theoretically, the use of such a bomb would not spam the recent changes board, and simply appear as

(diff) (hist) . . Encyclopedia Dramatica: Nuked 02:46 . . Jacknstock (talk) (Reverted fucking everything)

Uses

The bomb would make an excellent deterrent to attacks from TOW, SomaForum, or disgruntled n00bs; all their work would be destroyed seconds after finishing it. In the event of an attack, valuble SysOp time would be saved from having to go through and revert fucking everything.

Hirocyclopedia & Nagimatica

Eventually, our enemies (the spammers and vandals) will band together somehow and bring about a veritable Pearl Harbor invasion of ED articles. I, Napoleon, believe in my heart of hearts that we must build a nuclear revert before it is too late. Because such a catastrophy would woe us all. Woe!

Here's how it would go down:

  1. Troll 1 vandalizes fucking everything
  2. Troll 2 vandalizes fucking everything
  3. Troll 3 through N vandalize fucking everything
  4. Before anybody can get to the pages to revert, the histories are filled with vandalism.
  5. Panic ensues
  6. Girlvinyl has to reload everything from backup. There is a backup, right? Right?
  7. Panic ensues, again.
  8. ED receives public e-stonings because
    1. ED would be devoid of its lulz sheild
    2. The other wikis would win the internet
    3. ED would have to surrender the internet cup
    4. ED would no longer be invited to the cool internet parties
    5. Worst of all, ED would no longer get to go to the internets phenomena conventions

This isn't about paranoia. It's about national security. If our nation isn't secure, what else do we have? The internets is sirius biznes, we must defend our portion with the lives of future generations!

Let us build the bomb?

Support

  1. More power to admins! --ass!mustard talk to the ass 08:49, 22 Feb 2006 (UTC)
  2. It’s our constitutional right to take away the freedom of our enemies. -- CATS 09:35, 22 Feb 2006 (UTC)
  3. Oh hellz yeah!--Riboflavin 16:13, 22 Feb 2006 (UTC)
  4. Only if it blocks dutch people.--WKD 21:13, 22 Feb 2006 (UTC)
  5. Add a massive delete/block for proxy/ips. Shiawase? 23:43, 24 Feb 2006 (UTC)
  6. Or make me a fucking sysop, because I WAS THERE AND COULD HAVE STOPPED IT OH WHY???? --Ntg85 00:05, 25 Feb 2006 (UTC)
  7. yes. oh god yes. --kh/ what 22:05, 25 Feb 2006 (UTC)
  8. Please... please... somebody set us up the bomb. --Blu Aardvark 05:35, 15 Mar 2006 (UTC)
  9. Seriously, why hasn't this been programmed already? --Zim 05:22, 17 Mar 2006 (UTC)
  10. Hell yes, set up them the bomb and piss the hell off of them Miltopia
  11. Everyone likes bombs. A+ idea.--Abort, retry, fail 22:47, 2 November 2006 (UTC)
  12. A bright light filled teh browser. The first shock wave hit us. We were eleven and a half slant miles from the atomic revert explosion, but the whole browser cracked and crinkled from the blast. lulz had been restored...for great justice. --John Dublin 09:58, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Cock-ports

  1. WOW HOLY SHIT GUYZ GREAT IDEA I CANT BELIEF NOONE THOUGHT OF THIS B41!111!1 --Bastardman 16:49, 22 Feb 2006 (UTC)
  2. I like the idea of a nuclear ban better. One button to ban everybody. Or maybe the button could revert everything, block everyone and set fire to the vandal's cats. --Jacknstock 05:32, 23 Feb 2006 (UTC)

Questions

  1. I can probably do something like that with this shit. I'll just make another account and ask ghettofinger for a bot flag, so it doesn't spam recent changes. It might be handy when fighting extreme vandalism, but still pretty useless, considering it takes me a total of 3 whole minutes to do the same thing manually. Ok, why the fuck was this posted in the fucking main namespace, by the way? ~ Krade hi yo~ 17:19, 22 Feb 2006 (UTC)
    • idiftl --bass!tard Eat 05:19, 23 Feb 2006 (UTC)
      • Where's the bomb user:Krade, WHERE" THA BOM? We're gonna get hit really bad, I just know it. And then where will all your fancy code be? Eh? WHERE THEN? --mustard!ass Eat 08:25, 10 Mar 2006 (UTC)
  • Furthermore, I've been noticing an increasing amount of ad spam. Not really a reason to build the bomb, but WTF? --mustard!ass Eat 10:41, 10 Mar 2006 (UTC)
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