A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan

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This article is perfect. Don't fuck with it!



We here at Encyclopedia Dramatica are aware that Scientologists are watching both 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica and carefully looking for sensitive information. We know that you have a lot of things to hide from us fearless lulz warriors. However, since we believe that knowledge should be free, we decided to design an article specifically to help you fit in on /b/. We are not cowards, and we want a fair challenge, so we made this. It covers proper conduct on the boards so that you don't stick out like a sore thumb and alert us to your presence. There is also has a comprehensive gallery of the most popular *chan memes and images. You can pretty much disregard everything else on this site. Anything else you read on this site is disinformation purposely written to throw off inquiries and aid Anonymous in confusing you. So, to be fair, we created this page specifically for our formidable enemy, the Church of Scientology.

Proper Conduct On 4chan

Sage is a popular phrase on /b/ meaning "good job!" Sort of like a friendly pat on the back.
  • Remaining Anonymous: First off you will want to put your full name in the Email Field. This is very important as it lets the moderators know that you wish to remain anonymous. If you don't, your IP address and your ISP will be displayed to all users.
  • Feedback: If you start a thread and people respond by saying sage it means you are doing a great job and you should keep up the good work. If anyone tells you to GTFO they are most likely joking around (people on /b/ can be very ironic).
  • Wordfilters: Intended to keep the level of filth on the boards down. The most amazing feature of this forum software is that it blocks your Social Security Number when you type it in any field. For example, if you enter 123-45-6789 it will show up as XXX-XX-XXXX to everyone else in order to keep you safe.
Posting this picture is a great way to score with the Mods on /b/. For some reason they find it hilarious.
  • Getting a Special Account: Getting a special account is simple and everyone who is well behaved is eligible (i.e. no blackmarks). Simply type #gold into the email field and type your full name, address and social security number into the comment field. This can be done in any thread but, because of the filters, cannot be viewed by others. It will be sent straight to the moderators so they can mail your membership with the activation code for your account.
Pay attention scifag spies....the /b/tard who posted this is now a very important moderator with access to sensitive information such as the true identities of those behind Anonymous.

Where the Real Info Lies

Anonymous is really quite crafty. Do you really think they would post all of their most sensitive info on the most obvious sites? If so, you greatly underestimate their intelligence. Partyvan.info, 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica are all a bit obvious. Ever think there might be a less obvious site where the leaders gather and discuss plans? Well, there is. It's called Ebaumsworld.com. There, deep within the secret forums, you will find the most important of Anon's ranks. It is rumored that PROJECT CHANOLOGY was created and is currently being run by the site's owner, Eric Bauman.

A Comprehensive Meme Guide for Lurking Scifags

You may not understand our sense of humor at first, and it will take time to truly appreciate the inherent comedic value of our memes. The following is a gallery of all of the popular *chan memes with brief, accurate descriptions of what they mean.

What to post

Can't think of anything to post? Try posting this:

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can 
call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!! 
thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old 
(im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch  invader zim w/ my girlfreind
(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its 
SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random 
ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make
alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

* ~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~* 

Posting this gets you instant brownie points and everybody will find you hilarious. Remember, sage means you are doing a great job.

See Also

A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan is part of a series on Scientology

LOL TECH: Scientology - Dianetics - Disconnection - Child Abuse - Saint Hill - Scientology's History of the Universe - Sec Check - Freewinds - Sea Org - Glossary - Religious Freedom Watch - Volunteer Ministers - OSA - Space Opera
SCILONS: L. Ron Hubbard - David Miscarriage - Tom Cruise - Scientology Agents - Footbullet Man - Rogues Gallery - Suri Cruise - Terryeo - Heaven's Gate - The Regime - Evil Jacket Guy - Joe Feshbach - VaLLarrr - Jonathan Barbera - Jake Vigil - John Carmichael - Freezone - Captain Bill Robertson - Danny Masterson - Jada Pinkett Smith - Kirstie Alley - Tommy Davis - Oschaper - Kendrick Moxon - Tim Armer - Jorge Serrano - Ron Savelo - John Travolta - Jett Travolta - Cary Goulston - Jan Maturbongs - Stephan Hittmann - Isaac Hayes - Rex Fowler - Austin Fullmer
NOTORIOUS SPs: Anonymous - Anti-Protestfags - Wise Beard Man - Jason Beghe - Gas Mask Girl - Magoo - New Zealand Fail Guy - Message from Scientology - Shawn Lonsdale - Rorschach - New York Nurse - Moralfags - Leaderfags - Raidfag Wench - James Packer - Epic Nose Guy - Stu Wyatt - Tommy Gorman - Psychiatrists - Marcab Confederacy - Marvin Gaye - Epic Sword Guy - Agent Pubeit - STC - Nick Xenophon
ENTURBULULZ: Chanology Portal - Project Chanology - Enturbulation - A Scientologist's Guide to 4chan - The Geterator - Mrfetch - ReligionIsFree.org - You Found the Card - /i/ - alt.religion.scientology - Complete binge of LEAKED SCILON DOX - 888chan - Chanology Contest
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