Statuephilia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This article needs moar of everything. You can help by adding moar of everything. |
Statuephiles are sick fucks that tell you that humping blocks of cement is a perfectly normal sexual desire. Much like pedophiles, statuephiles resort to statues because they can't get a real girlfriend.
Contents |
Signs of a statuephile
- Lingers a little too long by the mannequins at the thrift store.
- Has spent over $500 on a fucking doll.
- Insists he was only cleaning her with his penis.
- Insists the world would be a much happier place if all women were petrified. If only scientists would realize their dream...
- Spends an unhealthy amount of time on Desuchan.
- Tries to drill a hole between the bum cheeks wearing black in broad daylight with the excuse of allowing rain water to drain out.
- Watches the animu Rozen Maiden.
Quotes
"ARE YOU WOMAN GIRL? If you are woman girl, you come can make stop please to me so I can make girls becoming and beginnings of becoming stone statue woman. They come my house, remains my home. First you come my house. Then you remove clothes will need your to naked so you take it off. Then you stand on pedestal-stand to pose. Then I turn the petrification machine and it you statue turns you into. You will be the naked, and marble, and young, and girl, and pedestal-stand. Then you remain my home. With other girl-statue." [1]
"So I was watching this video. Giant ogre fucking a girl. And I thought it was incredibly sexy. ...But only if I thought of her as a doll. " [2]
"I used to look at gorgeous women and think how unfair life is because I could never have one for my own. Yes I could rent one but only for too short a time. Now that I have my doll I have a beautiful companion when ever I want for as long as I want." [3]
"SEX IS KILLING OUR WORLD!!! Sex kills. Sex can cause life. But sex DOES cause death. Sex spreads disease which are ravaging and destroying millions of lives and hundreds of cultures of this worlds. Not only practicing sexualists are affected, innocent children often inherited these sexually transmitted diseases from their sexualist parents. Sex destroys. The gratitious sex in societies all over the world today result in millions of unwanted births and a population explosion that is rapidly depleting the resources of our world. It can't last forever. The sexualists will eventually see the folly of their ways. But it'll probably be too late. Sex damns. Almost everyone in the world today engages in premarital sex, homosexual sex, or some other kind of sex that violates God's law. This has reached UNACCEPTABLE levels. We're becoming a world of lost people. And yet, anyone who doesn't buy into the destructive sexualist paradigm is a 'freak.' Sex violates. Sex hurts. Sex demeans. Sex insults. Petrification glorified. Petrification preserves. Petrification perfects. Which sounds better to you? " [4]
Did you know?
- Did you know that statuephiles (or agalmatophiles, which is Greek for "statue lovers" and can also be interpreted as "doll lovers") can also be called pediophiles? "Pedio" is from the Greek word "paidion", which was more often used to mean "doll" rather than "statue", but it is ultimately much the same as "pedo" (also derived from "paidon") and both terms are used to refer to children. Dolls were primarily children's playthings modelled after children, and for the most part still are. All of this means that "pedophile" and "pediophile" and thus "agalmatophile" are pretty much the same damned thing.
- RealDolls, BoyToys, and perhaps two other, comparatively minor brands are the only non-inflatable sex dolls that approximate the sizes of grown, physiologically normal women. These dolls cost thousands of dollars, however. The highest-selling dolls cost only hundreds, and are more affordable mainly because they are smaller and use cheaper materials. Not surprisingly, many of these smaller dolls are made in Japan and come with such options as vaginal sheaths available in what would translate to "infant" size. This doesn't help the dollfuckers and so-called statuephiles separate themselves any further from the pedophiles.
- Statuephiles and dollfuckers like to bring up the Greek myth of Pygmalion. In that story, Pygmalion is an emo artist who is seemingly doomed to remain a virgin because he's awkward, unattractive, and claims he doesn't even like women until one day the statue he was sculpting is brought to life by the goddess Aphrodite. She was well-known for having pity sex with hideous yet talented men, but decided to take a pass on Pygmalion. Pygmalion gets laid and has children and lives happily ever after with a wife of his own design.
Pedophiles don't understand that this myth is really just a myth, and no matter how many times they watch Mannequin it will never come true for them.
Moar
 Asking for it |
 The typical Statuephile habitat |
 Who needs them? |
 In Soviet Russia, Dolls rape YOU! |
 ???? |
 Naked Asians become 25% sexier when you Photoshop them into statues from the neck down. |
 Tied-up girl DOES NOT WANT to be turned into statue. |
 Even the furries get off on this shit. |
 Kirakishou works it. |
 Found by the Something Awful goons - oh boy! |
 Oh, Ramones fans... |
Links to Statuephiles
- Kevin Havens
- David Hockey
- Pit_Viper
- Chaoscroc - Statuephiliac as well as creepy fetishist of robots and hypnosis.
External links
- The Legacy of Timeless Beauty Archive - Rule 34 for statues.
- The Medusa Realm - Statue Art - Porn + Photoshop + stone texture = boner
- Studs in Stone - The fetish goes
gaymoar gay. - The Pygmalion Syndrome: Taral Wayne - Frozen Fur and Flesh - They've allied with the furries, god help us all.
- Statuephilia Copypasta - will repair I your daughter through chaning her meat into marble so that she is a statue
- The Doll Forum - Possibly the main forum dedicated to fucking inanimate objects that resemble humans or parts thereof.
- Boku Chan
