Dolphinsex
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Mating With Dolphins
Q1) How do I tell a male dolphin from a female one?
A1) Probably the most common question asked. There are 2 ways of determining the sex of a dolphin. The most obvious way is to take a peek under their skirt. On the dolphin's belly, directly opposite the dorsal fin, will be the umbilicus, or the navel of the dolphin. Looking further down towards the tail, you start to see the differences. Male dolphins have two separate slits for the harbl (the urogenital opening) and the anus. These are separated by a bridge of skin. The male's urogenital opening is generally located further up the belly, towards the navel. Females, on the other fin, have one continuous larger slit, the anus located at the end of it. On either side of the genital slit, you will find two smaller slits; these are the mammary slits, where the nipples of the dolphin are kept for feeding the calves. The slit is also located closer to the tail stock of the dolphin. The other way to determine the sex of a dolphin, if you can't reach their belly, is to look at their mellon, or head. The males tend to have a fatter, rounder mellon, while the females are more sleek and streamlined.
Q2) How do I know if a dolphin wants to have sex?
A2) There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a nigger), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their harbl within reach of your hand so you can jerk them off or possibly give them a roman shower. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genitals very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your harbl, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active.
Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?
A3) Accept, if possible! I will go through the steps involved with males and females... The Male: When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. WARNING! In the considerations of faggotry, you should ALWAYS let a male dolphin attempt buttsecks with you.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute just like djbb, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to open your mouth wide. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well.
The Female: Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin- masturbation, or mating.
Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to fuck in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested,arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experiencewhile you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with Sheneequa, she timed her orgasm to mine. Whether she did this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.
Q4) What diseases can I get from dolphins? Can I give them any?
A4) AIDs lol
Q6) Where can I find a dolphin to mate with?
A6) here
