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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

“	Nice to see Encyclopedia Dramatica got enough to open yet for another year. We don't get to hear those financialy strapped, butthurt, assraped whining bitches for another 325 days! NICE! Unlike that assfuck LoTax still whining for money for his lame forum for Something Awful like a bunch of black beggers who stinks of BO. Meh. Article follows below:	„
— Pit_Viper, as User:FuckYou2

Pit_Viper (aka Shit_Viper) is yet another disgusting, arrogant closet-pedophile of a dollfucking plushie allied with casperghostboy and midiman. He has declared war on Something Awful and for that matter the whole of the internets that doesn't fuck dolls. He has earned the nickname Shit_Viper due to having a greater obsession with scat and buttsecks than Howard Stern and Kirk Johnson combined, which makes people wonder exactly what sort of condition his dolls are really in.

He also may have been the creep who tested fuckdolls on behalf of Hockey, and related all of the horrific details to Dave so that he could post believable and coherent reviews. Of course, they deny this vehemently. This in spite of the fact that many of Shit_Viper's posts revolve around rating dolls for their fuckability.

As it so happens, Shit_Viper has an ED account. Show your appreciation of his contribution to the internets!

Contents 1 The Challenger Appears... 2 The Shit_Viper Rampant 3 Where in the World is Wabbit? 4 Lolly Lolly Lolly Lolly, stick yo dick inside yo dolly... 5 Some of Shit-Viper's and Hockey's Anti-Goon Propaganda 6 The Shit_Viper Revealed 7 Links 7.1 Newly Discovered 8 See Also

The Challenger Appears...

A longtime dollfucker and poster on The Doll Forum, Shit_Viper's friendship with David Hockey earned him admin status on Hockey's Doll Chronicles site. Hockey needed someone with some semblance of balls to help him stand up to the onslaught of the Goons, and since Shit_Viper was perfectly willing to use swear words (unlike the majority of others on the site) the choice was easily made.

Shit_Viper gained some moar respect from Hockey by seemingly finding the source of SA's evil. We all know "somethingaweful.com" and DigiPawn are to blame, amiright?

About the time Hockey finally broke down, Shit_Viper decided to bare his fangs. This amounted to him making tons of poopy-jokes and claiming that he had, in fact, ejaculated in a real vagina. All else he could do amounted to exemplifying Godwin's Law and bringing up William Freund.

Prior to Dave losing what was left of his mind due to Goons and his mom's death, Shit_Viper's contributions to Dave's threads amounted to wank material featuring Snuggles the Bear and RealDoll getting it on, making Shit_Viper a fan of beastiality in a way.

Typical Shit_Viper shitposts:

“	Can't we just put these goons to sleep once and for all? Geez. I'd go, but I don't feel like paying $10.00 to act like an Internet jerk off, as there are so many other places for these dweebs to do this shit for free. God. Don't worry Dave. You now have the Viper watching your back. I've been looking for a rousing fight for a couple of years now. May as well be with that Stank Ass (SA) forum. You keep filming. I'll bury those Internet turds where they belong. Under my anus. And they don't even deserve to even SMELL that shit.	„
— Shit_Viper.Turds go UP butt?!

“	That's because they can't seem to figure out how to get their heads out of their own asses before they post shit. And as they can't dig their heads out of their ass fast enough when they post, they usually deficate before pulling their heads out of their ass first before they post. Which ultimately leaves them shit for brains. Explains a lot.	„
— Shit_Viper. Wants an asshat of his own.

The Shit_Viper Rampant

Pointing out that he loves scat just infuriated Shit_Viper even further. Coming to believe that Hockey was weak, Shit_Viper decided to take control of Hockey's forum from him as best he could. Although Hockey told Shit_Viper to stand down and stop feeding the trolls, Shit_Viper would not relent. Hockey's fate is at present uncertain, but he was warned. Witness this exchange (BALEETED... well, just moved to the admin section of The Doll Forum):

“	Why even drag the whole "SA" crap on to TDF???	„
— A dollfucker named Debra.

“	Because I've personally seen the shit SA was doing to midiman, doodman, and casper. It was not a pretty site. And I was not amused. So, if you want to make a stand in what you want and believe, you stand with me. If not, you know where the LogOff option is I need a beer.	„
— Shit_Viper. Internet Tough Guy, at large.

“	Than let them handle their own situations. You seem to be itching for a battle. We don't need forum wars, or trolls/doll haters here. I still see no purpose in all the drama.	„
— Debra. Not getting it.

“	The goons are watching this thread and just enjoying it all the more. Bill had good advice....Ignore them! It is like trying to argue with a broken record. They have no substance to their arguments...only opinions based on their somewhat narrow view of the world. They are just punks with no respect for others, that get their kicks out of trying to humiliate people. So the best thing to do is stop posting on this thread or delete it altogether!	„
— David Hockey

“	If only they would take your advice, Dave. Maybe they still view you as being one of their own in spite of all of your own claims to the contrary. It seems you are standing against Pit_Viper. It seems dangerous, Dave. The man may well be more damaged and mad than you are.	„
— SA Goon Caligasti

The last 3 sentences above have been usurped by Shit_Viper and have become his forum sig, as a warning to all other dollfuckers who question his authority.

“	I stand with you Pit. I feel like one organization is hellbent on getting me back there and being miserable. Even my mother is wanting the same thing: Dump Kat, dispose of or sell the dolls, and come back home with momma and we'll get you a nice life, the one you were used to, at "BH". Then they would say that my ownership of dolls is making me "lose friends" and why would I be "talking to a piece of rubber that won't be talking back." Without giving out TMI, they think that someone talking to something that doesn't give a verbal response (pets are excluded) is being delusional (remember how Lars was in the movie?) and needs intensive treatment for "fixing" that "problem." Sorry, not for me. Oh, I'm drinking Bailey's and a Mike's Hard Lemonade with a Jolt Cola and rum chaser. w00t! Gonna get drunk when Hanna comes! So, I'm having a beer with ya. CGM, Kathryn, Daphne and Andrea _________________ CasperGhostboy, Kathryn, Daphne and Andrea	„
— Kevin Havens. Keep on spergin.

It may well be that Shit_Viper has dispensed with Hockey, as it has seemingly been a few days since last Dave posted. He may well have teamed up with psychotic aspie Kevin Havens to get rid of the body, and Hockey's various accounts taken over by the last people he thought would betray him.

The new, self-proclaimed leader of the dollfuckers is not as tough as he'd have others believe, however. He loves bunnies, for instance.

Where in the World is Wabbit?

C'mon. He knows some chicks!	"Bunny goes where?"	"Bunny goes here!"	"Got the hint nao. Thnx!"
"I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George!"	1 shy of a nightmarish orgy.	What just happened here?	Bunny shits on the graves of britfags.

Just as David Hockey took his love Bianca around the country in an epic quest to get her a pussy, Shit_Viper had his plush bunny photographed in various locations for... no particular reason at all. Not even for the lulz. He says it was one of his dolls' idea. Srsly. So he mailed the bunny to various other dollfuckers throughout the globe, photographing "Bunny Wunny" with their dolls and sending him the pics. As you can already guess, some of these got risque to say the least. Fuck it. These perverts shoved a rabbit up their dolls' pussies, and not the vibrating kind. Thankfully not a real rabbit either, but the whole thing is fucked-up regardless. Too bad nobody decided to send "Bunny Wunny" to Galen and put a harsh stop to that shit. Unless that's why the bunny has gone missing for the last few weeks.

Witness some of the horror.

For that matter, he even set up a whole site dedicated to the circlejerk: Down the rabbit hole...

He worries about Bunny running into Snuggles the doll-raping Bear for some odd reason. Perhaps Shit_Viper would fap himself to death at the prospect of plush-on-plush action of any sort. The man is clearly a deviant, as can be proven by the fact he has a Lolly doll.

Lolly Lolly Lolly Lolly, stick yo dick inside yo dolly...

This is Lolly...	... and this is Lisa.	Moar action for teh bunneh.	Sorry. My mind just broke. Caption pending.
She lieks the huge duck cock.	The dolls with their other assailant.	Dollpr0n for you.	This is what Shit_Viper faps to...
... dolls eating each other out.	Sometimes Lolly goes blonde.	Look familiar?	Lolly is a Goatse Girl?

Yes, Shit_Viper has a doll made to resemble a 12-year-old. With oversized tits. Confused? He's not. He knows what he likes and he likes 'em young. Are you still a pedophile if it's just a doll that looks too young? Anyway, he likes to take pictures of Lolly going down on his Teddybabe "Lisa", too. He goes out of the way to dress her up all whorish like JonBenet Ramsey and to parade her around in a bunny costume, further indulging his obscene beastiality fetish and combining it with his appalling lust for prostatots.

He has done suspiciously postive reviews for both dolls. The one for Lisa can be read here, and his review for Lolly can be read here. Such poetry...

“	Ok, here goes. The infamous boinkability test! WOW! Ok, can we say WOW? Yes, lets say it again, WOW! Reading Happy Harrys review I can fully attest to his observations in this aspect. Unlike HappyHarry, I used no condom. Tried various positions (missionary, doggy, girl on top, etc) and she rode the shaft like a trooper whatever positions I tossed at her! The suction effect HappyHarry mentions further enhances the experiance. Make no mistake, when you see her in photos, the vagina looks too big, but in actuallity, it's not as big as it appears and yes, it does the job at a fantastic level. I am ashamed to say that I only lasted 5 minutes before the missile fired. It was THAT GOOD! itsme, you did a bang up job in the design (or redesign). The test video using the dildo does not do justice in actual use. Sex Raiting: 100000 out of 10 stars	„
— Shit_Viper.

“	I dedicate this particular part of the review to certain people on the internet that seem to have this "problem" with us. So, viewer discretion is advised. And away we go. Today I saw Lolly laying there in her cute little miniskirt, cute ass sticking up there, but I never tried the bun ball her. Today, I said "Ok Lolly, this time it's up the ass!" So I raised her skirt, ripped off the thong, grabbed the lube, plopped her on her stomach and went to town. Best ass I ever f*cked. Every sloppy slide in and out of that silicon love hole was pure extesy. The curves in the RSDDs ass were perfect for the occation, and complimented the feel nicely. I lasted maybe a good solid 15 minutes. I was afraid I'd be litterally ripping her a new one, but Lolly held on like a trooper. No rips or tears. And surprisingly, it does not "queef" like screwing your RSDD vaginally. When I pound Lolly that way, she queefs like a queen. Well suddenly, the cannon fired. Lollys butt finally tastes Vipers love lotion. Nice job on the butt end of things itsme. You're certainly a master asshole craftsman. Another reason to get an RSDD.	„
— Shit_Viper. Sold?

He bought Lolly from e-bay, too. That means she may well have been "used", as in not a "virgin". Look real closely at Lolly while you're at it. Doesn't "she" somewhat resemble a youthful Tubgirl?

Shit_Viper spends whatever time he has on the forums giving product reviews and recommendations to other dollfuckers, and it seems he has sampled every fake pussy there is (surely even traps and femskins). That is, whatever time he has remaining after bitching about Goons and fapping to doll pr0n.

Some of Shit-Viper's and Hockey's Anti-Goon Propaganda

• "How far is going TOO far?"
• "Howard Stern, Dollfucker?"
• "Durr... I found the head Goon!"
• "Goons are evil! They kill people! Pray to God and buy a gun!"

The Shit_Viper Revealed

Recently Shit_Viper and David Hockey activated their Wonder Twin Powers and made complete faggots of themselves on Something Awful. It is believed that they tag-teamed on the goonobyl account in an attempt to mindfuck the Goons. It just incited a couple of Goons to internet detective the ever-living shit out of Shit_Viper, coming up with tons of places to troll him. From the information Shit_Viper's IRL pics, name, birthdate, where he works and for whom, family... well, everything shy of his Social Security number was found. No lie. Quite a bit is found, actually.

He's a Simpsons fanboi (see here), and listed Lisa as his favorite. Recall that he named his plush Teddy Babe fuckdoll "Lisa". It's enough that he has a doll outright named Lolly, but knowing the reason behind the other doll's name just makes the creepiness incalculable.

Appropriately, his avatar is the annoying little fat-fuck troll Cartman from South Park.

Through his YouTube account (Do you see?) it was discovered he's also a gun-nut redneck who has a thing for Bunny from Captain Kangaroo. He's raping childhoods left and right at this point. During Halloween he fucked his dolls while they were dressed as angels and Snow White. Whup, he's raping childhoods up and down now, too.

He considers himself to be one sly bald guy, and thinks highly enough of himself to cosplay as Emperor Palpatine. Witness. BALEETED. This link no longer exisits, however you can still find the pictures in this SA post

He's an astronomy buff and runs a website and trolls forums dedicated to it (Moonport and Bressler). He isn't much of a webmaster, if his posts at Histony are indicative of anything.

Other information can be found on the SA thread, particularly this post.

Not surprisingly, Shit_Viper had tried to blank this very page numerous times. Obviously, he failed.

Soon after, Shit_Viper posted a YouTube video laughing about how he fucked with SA. He then promptly deleted it, realizing that no matter what he had, in fact, been pwnt when he wasn't looking.

He can try all he wants to try and erase his face from the internet, but it will fail. Witness these links.

He tried damage control by doing an interview with Hockey, basically saying The Simpsons turned him into a dollfucker. It can be read here.

His shame knows no bounds, for he recently admitted that his ex-wife had left him for a hillbilly pedophile. And he admitted this while on Something Awful.

He has also created fake magazine covers and trying to use them as image macros aginst SA. Witness how clever he is through his dolly album.

He likes to commit plagiarism and yet complains that everybody rips him off. Examples are found in this Coverdoll article of his. He blatantly steals entire verbatim statements from three different articles, and then has the nerve to claim copyright. He gets called on it at BoASucks as well as on SomethingAwful.

Check the links below for moar.

Links

• PitTube just opened!.
• View Shit_Viper's Doll Forum shitposts.
• Witness his Gallery of Terror.
• Bunny Wunny's trip through Hell. Check it out!.
• What used to be David Hockey's site.
• The second SA dollfucker thread. It's done. Onwards to the next.
• The third dollfucker thread on SA. Ongoing.
• GADFLY: Goons Against Doll-Fucking, - Dead site. A MySpace group dedicated to trolling dollfuckers.
• Shit_Viper gets called out on BoASucks!

Newly Discovered

• "Waaahhh! Mah website been stolen!"
• "Turn towards the doll side. It is your destiny."
• "I ownz dis website! M-O-O-N. That spellz moon!"
• "ZOOOM! I makes rockitshipz!"
• "They have the best in diversity"... really.

See Also

• Pit_Viper's ED User Page!-Give him a nice warm welcome!
• Pit-Tube!-Better than YouTube!
• David Hockey
• Kevin Havens
• Statuephilia
• Plushie
• Internet troll personality disorder
• Something Awful

Pit Viper is part of a series on Dying Alone

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