Raid

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Spam Pizza: You didn't order it! One of Anon's many tools.
ebaum: "Get thyself teh fucketh outward and telleth m00tle of Chancester to maketh /b/ the cat's ass!"

Raids...everybody loves 'em. Unless you have the misfortune of being a target of one that is.

Somewhat akin to rape and ruin, a raid will usually leave its 'victim' feeling warm and fuzzy all over, and leave the raid's participants with delusions of grandeur and internet tough guy syndrome.

Typical raid

Since time immemorial, peeps have been raiding other peeps...from the Assyrian pwnage of the Jews in 722BC, to the Persian raid on the 300, to William the Conqueror's raid on England in 1066AD, (and let's not forget the best raider evar Adolf Hitler) raiding and invasions have always been en vogue. And whether WIN or (eventually) FAIL, raids are almost always EPIC and for the lulz.

Contents

Getting Raided

The best way to catch the rAIDS is to get ebaum's attention. There are many ways to do this but if you're already an arrogant attention whore, a racist blowhard or a self-righteous hypocrite you are most likely already halfway to asking for it.

Howevar, all work and no play makes Anonymous a dull boy and so anon's raid mavens, the /i/nsurgents, keep things lulzy by organizing raid field trips to Internets Disneyland, where all the faggots of the world reside.

What raids are and are not: A definitive guide to the cancer killing /i/

/i/ was never about being an hate machine for the sake of hate, it was about doing things that we are capable of doing that are FUNNY, which happened to be mean for the most part. We would make people sit and cry on their LiveJournals, or run in terror from their forum as eBaums World tricked them into viewing things they oppose (Mothers view dead fetus, feminazis view men kicking women's asses to the kitchen), or taking some hard work like a game guild's ranking or drawball-type art and wrecking it with sheer numbers. /i/ was about finding an idiot YouTuber who cried too much and making their life hell by using doxs we get; when a target's address was posted, the boxes and pizza would not stop for at least a month, a phone number would be called at every possible hour, then one caller posts the recording of "THE FBI IS INVOLVED UR IN OVER UR HEADS" and we carry on unconcerned, because they won't do shit and it's funny. I don't think the few targets we have had recently get anything more then 1 shipment of boxes and perhaps a phone call with a 14 year old mumbling something about mudkips and hanging up thinking they were the shit.

This drama, this stupidity, it's USELESS and is not getting us anything except more threads crying about what Anon is or is not on every /b/, and threads on /i/ about "taking back our name" when most people fail to realize that we didn't even want a name, we didn't ever take the credit. We pose as eBaums or someone else to add to confusion (One thing the CoS shit does well; the last few raids, usually blitzkrieg from 4chan, resulted in "why are u attacking us arent u the good gaiz?").

If you came to /i/ because you wanted to say you're a part of a cool group of bad-asses called Anon to all your friends around the lunch table, get out. If you came to /i/ because you wanted to stop a particular cause or stop someone who's stopping a cause, get out. If you came to /i/ because you want to make a name for yourself (even if that name is Anonymous) and seek glory in being some cool e-Tough raider, get out, just get out.

If you came to /i/ because one night you were bored and sitting on 4chan, and found a thread where 50 or so /b/tards were moving from camwhore to camwhore in an attempt to make them cry, or overwhelming a forum for no obvious reason but getting a massive and funny reaction, or even read about these antics on ED and wanted to do it for your own enjoyment, kindly stay in your seat and take your hands off the keyboard. You've recently seen lots of "LETS DDOS THEM" and let me just say, that is never funny by itself and isn't standard procedure. The humor of olden times could come back if the people were like they used to be.

What raids used to be/should be like:


What raids are not supposed to be like and tragically are often so nowadays

  • Raiding a forum with 50 or fewer uses, ie a forum or person that wouldn't care and will blow it off and rebuild without any reaction; usually posted by butthurt ex-members or NERD RAGE folks who want to use the sleeping raid power of Anon as their personal army.
  • A thread with a lulzy target (good), a gathering of doxs (very nice), and then complete and total inaction and apathy until people just ignore the thread and carry on with fail.
  • A thread about how stupid Chanology is, how stupid anti-Chanology is, how stupid anti-anti-Chanology is, how stupid it is to talk about Chanology, and talking about Chanology. This usually starts as a rant about MORALFAGS GAAAARRRRR, rises for a second to posting some old flooder which is half the time done by Chanolgists who are making fucktards DDoS /i/, the wiki, or localhost, and then devolves into mindless shitstorming about who is right and wrong until a mod can bear to view /i/ under all this horror and comes along to delete the thread.

That's the biggest extent of the problems, bitching and inaction. Most of our targets were picked because it was lulzy to watch them whine and complain about something stupid and get sore and butthurt over these things; the way we are acting right now, well, if /i/ was like it was a year ago and if we were a forum, we'd get raided so hard. Turner, Wuori, Baums, and Xavier are sitting at home sipping juice and laughing at this pathetic display of infighting and crying. Just stop it, and that cures half the cancer killing /i/.

Second cure: Get action in place. Pick a raid and let's just do it. How about before you post a gay thread on /i/, you test the waters and see if it's actually a decent target. Too lazy to test, or looking for ideas?

Join the Scouts, find a target, look into them a bit, if it's LULZY, THAT MEANS FUNNY AND REACTIVE TO ATTACKS, post a thread on /i/ with what you know. The preferred way would be for you to DO IT YOURSELF and post results. Ask not what the /i/nsurgency can do for you, but what you can do for the /i/nsurgency. Kapiche?

888 has a /rage/ board if you want to just bitch and moan. Don't make a thread on any /i/. Don't fag up 420's /b/ with it either. You could probably get away with it on 4chan if you're not saged to death, but don't post it on 7 either. Stop whining.

You just read this and think about it. There is no tl;dr version; if anything this is the tl;dr of an essay that could be written on the subject. Get behind a raid because you want to because you think it will be funny, for no other reason. Sole paradox might be saving Longcat proved by Subeta and shifting to Gaia but let's not talk about that whole chapter now.

How Raids Work

Techniques

Using the invasion -or /i/- boards of the Internets' extensive *chan network as its non-centralized nerve center, the /i/nfidels have access to a vast INTERNET HATE MACHINE populated by 1337 army of HACKERS ON STEROIDS who have mastered Computer Science 3 and are fluent in the lulz, drama-generating techniques and trolling.

Toolbox

For use in a WoW raid.

Raid issues

The Backraid

Sometimes anon will call a backraid on someone attempting to use the INTERNET HATE MACHINE as his or her personal army.

See Ernest Peters and Alex Wuori

Roid Raids

Sometimes roid rage will make Anon's steroidal hackers turn on themselves.

See: brb, soup and brb, compromised (though the latter was done by enemies, the backraid was minimal).


Cancer?

At FaggotCon 2007, 4chan's Grand Poohbah, m00t, declared that raids are the cancer that is killing /b/. However, moot is just being a fag afraid of the Party Van unlike other cooler people. Also, Raids are from /i/

See Also

External Links


Raid is part of a series on the cancer that is killing /b/.



Image:Little Troll.gif Raid is part of a series on Trolls.

[FOR INSTA-LULZ]
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