Let's face it: Judy Blume explained a lot of stuff our parents didn't. (Or did, but the conversation was so awkward you've never looked at your dad the same again.) Here are just a few sex lessons that got us through those awkward junior-high days straight from the books of Ms. Blume:
"You're a romantic. I'm a realist. We look at sex differently ... I see it as a physical thing, and you see it as a way of expressing love." -- "Forever." From that point on, I learned there were two lovemaking camps: bad girls (like Erica) and good girls (like Kathy). I landed somewhere in the middle; I loved to bang, but fell in love with every douchebag that took me up on the offer.
"'Oh ... oh', Michael cried, but I didn't come. I wasn't even close. 'I'm sorry,' he said. 'I couldn't hold off.'" -- "Forever." Pro: Saved me years of disappointment from my boyfriend's inability to last long enough to get me off. Con: I've faked most of my orgasms since.
"'I guess we should ride around for awhile. We can circle the field, that way he might notice me.' They rode around three times but if Georgia Blue Eyes noticed Andrea he kept it to himself." -- "Starring Sally J. Freedman As Herself." Hovering around the object of your affection and staring without saying anything has a name. It's called stalking and it will only creep him out. (Didn't we already learn this, people?)
"The StairMaster's truck was parked in front of her house. 'It's been there for an hour at least,' she whispered. 'And don't tell me they're just talking.'" -- "Here's to You, Rachel Robinson." When your dad won't stop coming down to the basement to
"They took turns pretending to be Von, lying on top of one another, rubbing the Power against the other's Power until the electrical current buzzed through their bodies." -- "Summer Sisters." Mmmmmm, masturbation! (I didn't do the whole girl-on-girl thing, but WHOA, what a discovery.)
"I sat next to Moose. He smelled very nice. I got to touch his hand a couple times because he was a lefty and I was a righty so now and then, we'd bump." -- "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." Sometimes it's not the crazy, passionate dry-humping but the quick glances and hand-holding underneath the kitchen table that gets us most in the mood.
"I wanted to dance with Buddy. I wanted to in the worst way but all I could think of was my brace and I hated it more than ever." -- "Deenie." Braces, glasses, zits, etc. You're waaaay more worried about it than he is. Promise.
"No matter how many guys come and go, we'll always be together." -- "Summer Sisters." And the best lesson of all ladies, no matter what goes down with the opposite sex, it's your girls that will Facebook-stalk him with you.
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Tuesday 03 November
By Lauren
LOVE this post!! And Amen to Summer Sisters... before that, I had no idea.
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Sunday 08 November
By Donald Jason-White
Right now .. the first sex education kids get is not the soft romantic introduction in the good old novels .. its the XXX hard core anal an BJ that is all over the web today .. we should all try to change this ..
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Monday 09 November
By Mechelle
Judy Blume as alway been in my top 10 of best authors. If you have never read anything by her, you really should. Lots of life lessons and I promise you will laugh and find yourself in her books. :-)
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Monday 09 November
By Mechelle
Judy Blume as alway been in my top 10 of best authors. If you have never read anything by her, you really should. Lots of life lessons and I promise you will laugh and find yourself in her books. :-)
Reply
Wednesday 25 November
By crackpipe
Wow! One look at her and I don't want have sex any more!
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Thursday 17 December
By Meghan
coming from a person named "crackpipe" i would think judy blume would take that as a compliment. i think she is elegant and beautiful looking!
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Sunday 10 January
By anil kumar
sex
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Tuesday 12 January
By dawn
i think crackpipe would crawl all over that.cause noone else wants to crawl all over him
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Tuesday 26 January
By maria
WoW! forever my girlfriends and I passedit around in 8th grade i think we had one copy it was so ragged by the end of the year. I cant belive my daughter has never read it. and what a DISAPPOINTMENT when the movie finally came out. Its still one of the books I'll always remember...To Kill a Mockingbird is a classic only to those who never read judy blume!
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Tuesday 26 January
By Semi-Pelagius
It could really depress me if I took all these comments seriously. Too much ignorance IS harmful, but too much knowledge of facts combined with too little knowledge of values---give me a break! Far too harmful. Several years ago I read that Judy Blume's daughter once asked her something like: "What about a story where a boy and girl do it and nothing bad happens?" So Ms. Blume foolishly wrote one. Whatever religion she may have professed, she SHOULD have told the truth to the girl: "Dear lovable daughter, something bad ALWAYS happens when a couple jump the gun." Not always pregnancy or STD (thank God) but cheapening and degrading and making tawdry what is supposed to be a vital, loving, binding experience between husband & wife that sometimes produces a baby. My spouse & I stayed out of trouble, not even coming close to illicit sex. We were both 25 by a few weeks after our marriage. We have 4 children and several grandchildren. We have seen the painful damage that has been done to people. But to people who have already erred--your life and relationships CAN be repaired, but it will require some help. When ANYTHING goes wrong in your life, sex or anything else, I urge you to ask God for help and for forgiveness. Some changes in your attitudes and behavior will be required, but the result is well worth the cost. I have been rescued many times. God bless and good-night.
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Sunday 31 January
By Jason
Jesus saved my sex life too.......ha, get real man. Not trying to be mean or ignorant here really, but, yeah. Life is life. Experience what you can. Learn lessons, try not to be an asshole. Live and let live. What's good for one person is not good for everyone. I recommend a sociology course. Faith is a great thing, don't get me wrong. But responsibility is often times overlooked as a result of that. But hey, what do I know......enjoi the day.