Stripper
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A stripper (or wage troll) is the larval stage of the creature that will eventually become a Porn Star. For people who wish their porn smelled like stale beer,vaginal sweat and cigarettes, they can get the wonderful experience of seeing a meth-addled whore with fake boobs dance to bad music. As many a man can attest, there's nothing better than seeing a extremely razor burnt cooch with ingrown stubble under poor lighting rattle around to the tune of Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps". . . not to mention several thousand other songs you will never hear outside of a strip club.
Many fall into the illusion that the stripper dancing on a table in front of them with an ass stuffed full of dollar bills is sexually interested in them. They continue to believe this despite the fact that they spent all your rent money and still haven't got any for the 4th month in a row. This will lead to their landlady to finally be able to tell them to GTFO providing many lulz to their current situation. It is important to remember to never be polite to a stripper as their soulless, self-destructive Attention Whore ways simply can't comprehend it. Trying to be kind and gentlemanly can cause a stripper to become severely confused to the point where it can result in seizures.
The average career of a stripper lasts two years or less, when she marries the only asshole who doesn't frequent her nudie bar, only to live out her days as a waitress when he gets tired of her shit and dumps her. Those that are not completely annihilated by the industry become Porn Stars.
Though many have an annual trailer household income exceeding that of some doctors, strippers have the personal finance skills of a sea urchin. Strippers are savvy investors wielding portfolios of the latest line of Coach purses, acrylic nails and Marlboro Lights. Most are trendsetters in their stripping community with their avant garde financial choices: Why pay the electric bill when you can have Gucci shoes? Why pay $50 for a cab when you've only had 12 shots of patron? When not in the club, they can be found in their natural habitat at the local 24 hour gas station at 4 in the morning where many opt to diversify their vested interests with stale burritos and Red Bull.
You can also see men strip at gay bars, if you are gay or just want a stripper who will touch you. There's also the mythical Chippendale Dancers who dance only for women, but since women have no sex drive, this is obviously a myth.
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Pole Dancing
A staple of the stripper's routine to gouge you for all your Jew Gold pole dancing, as the name itself suggests, originated in Poland. Mostly practiced by drunk college girls at spring break but recently, pole dancing has entered the mainstream with many gym's featuring Pole Dancing Fitness classes for flabby housewives and DVDs that teach them how to spice up their non-existent sex-lives and pump up their husband's flaccid pen0r. Your husband should love you no matter what your physical appearance looks like right?
Trivia
- If a stripper dances for you or near you she automatically wants you to follow her home
- All strippers are either under-privileged white women or over-privileged black women
- Except for the older Hispanic ones that used to be Vice President of Peru.
- Strippers are covered with a thin layer of glitter and/or mucous, like snails.
- It takes approximately six hours for a man to remove all of his ass hair in order to prepare to wave his wiener down at the "White Swallow".
- If ugly men and small penises did not exist, neither would strip clubs.
- If you ask any stripper at the club about another one, she'll ironically tell you "She's a whore."
So You Wanna Be A Pole Dancer?
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