TulipGirl

For 4+ years I avoided family and parenting books like the plague. Once bitten, twice shy. Instead of books, Hubby and I discussed ideas and theology, pragmatics and principles. I asked my Mom and MIL for advice; bounced ideas off of other mothers in the thick of things with little ones; sought wisdom from the older moms who had been there, done that. I related every theological point I studied to parenting. I made mistakes and had successes.

All the while, I did a lot of loving up on and praying for my boys.

Finally last January I dove in and read four parenting related books.
Families Where Grace is in Place
Relational Parenting (On sale: $2.99!)
Heartfelt Discipline
Biblical Parenting

I hesitate to recommend any parenting materials. Christians are well-meaning but seem to be vulnerable to getting caught up in legalism, rather than applying the Gospel in their families.

Each of the above authors emphasize that there is no “program” to replace a lifestyle of discipleship, relationship and love. These books are not prescriptions for parenting, but provoke thought as we work out the answers to the question, “How can we apply the Gospel of Jesus Christ as we raise our children?”

While I find much that is worthwhile in these books, I have reservations about them as well. When reading any parenting materials, it is important to be willing to search the Bible, apply theological thinking to family relationships, and look at what we can learn by observing God’s creation. This help us focus on relationships and parenting by the Spirit, rather than getting caught up in man-made rules.

I intend to write my own reviews of these books in the coming week. Until then I encourge you to read the Amazon reviews and the discussion in this post.

“When my friends and I first converted to Christianity in the late 80

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New husband and wife blogging duo, Steve and Jenn, have some great posts up this week.

Steve reminisces fondly about Larry Norman and not-so-fondly about Bill Gothard:

Nineteen years old and driving around listening to “How Great Thou Art” a cappella 24/7. . . . I had “made a commitment” not to listen to CHRISTIAN ROCK!!. Yes Christian Rock…songs about Jesus that have beats and tempos not approved of by Sir Gothard. Aaaahhhhh, my friends thought I had lost it. Like a lemming to the sea I was!

Jenn addresses good hermeneutics and gives an example in her post the Latest Spiritual Gobblydeegook? She also talks about psychology and faith in Indoctrination 101:

Though there is some psychological stuff that is counter to our faith, there is some learning to be gained from the psychological community just about the general nature of people and how we respond in different scenarios. I believe this falls under the area of

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Come, ye sinners, poor and wretched,
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity joined with pow’r:
He is able,
He is able,
He is able,
He is willing; doubt no more.

Come, ye needy, come and welcome,
God’s free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Ev’ry grace that brings you nigh,
Without money,
Without money,
Without money,
Come to Jesus Christ and buy.

Come, ye weary, heavy laden,
Bruised and broken by the fall;
If you tarry till you’re better,
You will never come at all:
Not the righteous,
Not the righteous,
Not the righteous,
Sinners Jesus came to call.

Let not conscience make you linger,
Nor of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness he requireth
Is to feel your need of him;
This he gives you,
This he gives you,
This he gives you;
‘Tis the Spirit’s rising beam.

Lo! th’incarnate God, ascended,
Pleads the merit of his blood;
Venture on him, venture wholly,
Let no other trust intrude:
None but Jesus,
None but Jesus,
None but Jesus
Can do helpless sinners good.

Listen to Trinity Hymnal #393/#472 courtesy of the OPC.

1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4 in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

14. . .because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry,

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The boys are under the table with their bowls of borsch on their chair seats. I just heard one of them say, “We’re hydras. . .” I guess eating under the table means they are in their cave.

Update: Wow, I’m one of the Amazing Grace DVD winners! Thanks Tim and Monergism Books! Tim will be announcing the next giveaway on February 6th.

Wow, Tim! Please use referral ID is 21274.

Monergism Books is donating the prize. (And Rebecca is tempting me to place an order with them–international shipping is only $10!)

“When we realize that our adoption is permanent, we have the courage to celebrate our identity by looking and acting like our Father. We recognize and love our brothers and sisters because they look and act like Him, too. But even when they fail to have a family resemblance, we love them because our Father loves us when we fail to resemble Him. . .

But God does not just give us a list of house rules [referring back to the "one another" verses] He gives us grace to follow the rules. His Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control that enables us to act like our Father. And our Elder Brother intercedes for us before the Father’s throne.” –Susan Hunt, Heirs of the Covenant

A guy who regularly comments on Hubby’s blog e-mailed this week about tonight’s Speeding Lisa concert at Art Club 44. It was great. There is just something about good rock’n'roll that is balm to the soul.

They started the set with a rousing rendition of Razom Nas Bagato, but leaving out Ми не бидло, Ми не козли. A bit of whimsy came across in Back in the USSR. The Ukrainian girls behind us went wild for Basket Case and I’m a Believer (during which I couldn’t help but think about Joe’s recent post and wondering if any seeker-types out there had already fiddled with the lyrics and included it in a church service.)

The rest of the show rocked, and I must say my fave is still Anarchy in the Ukraine. The only thing that could have improved the music would be adding Bullet with Butterfly Wings. *hint, hint*

We saw a few people we knew there, and had a chance to visit with Castor after the show. It was a great night and I don’t remember the last time I got home from a date at 3:30 am. Check out Hubby’s blog for some pics.

Responding to well-meaning and oft-repeated advice from ATI-supporters, dozens of ex-ATI students recently resolved to “get over it” and “move on” with their lives.

“It really doesn’t matter than your spirits were crushed attempting to conform to a man-made system of spirituality,” said one Gothard supporter, “or that your perspective of God suffered nearly-irreversible damage. What’s important is that you break free from the chains of bitterness in your lives. I have an excellent diagram about that.”

Read the rest of the tongue-in-cheek post at X-ATI Guy.

It seems, sadly, that a lot of our Christian journeys started at the Strait Gate, we found ourselves on a cultic path that imitated the Way. We find ourselves bruised by the shackles of legalism and false teaching.

Even after we are once again on the narrow path that we walk by grace through faith to the Celestial City, it’s easy to question ourselves, our faith, our discernment.

It’s not simply a matter of “moving on. . .”

Update: Related blogging this week can be found at Batesline, BloggyBlog,
KITW here, here and here, Discount Geek and Reasons Why.

Legal, illegal, professional, amateur, and self-induced. Abortion can be deadly.

Christina at Real Choice is the conservator for the Cemetery of Choice, which keeps a record of those women who have died as a result of abortion.

She also pointed me to an article about Latachie Veal’s death, which I mentioned last week.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Praying for the families who have lost loved ones to abortion.

Check out PCA Blogs and the new blogroll/aggregator for Presbyterian Church in America bloggers, initiated by JollyBlogger.

As for my children…this doctrine [of Total Inability] helps me realize what’s really important. What amuses and dismays me is that a lot of people will shout, “All babies are totally depraved!” and then will rush in with feeding schedules, harsh training regimens, and all sorts of other draconian responses. As if these things will help! The all-too-common approach seems to be, “Our children are totally depraved and therefore we need to turn to this child rearing program that is guaranteed, if followed faithfully, to produce whitewashed tombs.”

Uh, that’s not my goal as a parent.

Read the rest of Rebecca Prewett’s thoughts on The Total Depravity of Infants. You might want to follow that up with The Child as Sinner (which relates to children in the Covenant) and Our View of Children as Blessings. Good reading all–one part theology, one part mommy-inspiration, one part thought provoking.

Yes, our dear Yulia Tymoshenko was appointed Prime Minister today. She’ll be confirmed by parliament in mid February.

(Via Kyiv Post)

Victor Yushchenko was inaugurated today.
What a victory for the people of Ukraine! A triumph over corruption!

President Yushchenko with his daughers, Sofia and Krystyna
Photo: AP/Efrem Lukatsky
Via Neeka’s Backlog

My Mom wrote to me from Chicago, Today I watched the inauguration of Yuschenko and felt joy for the Ukranians as they sang with their orange scarves bundling hopeful hearts….and felt close to you. . . I am glad you will take home a greater part of history. . .

Both the inauguration and that note made me smile and cry.

More inaugaration photos at Le Sabot, Orange Ukraine, Blog de Connard, and Neeka’s Backlog.

In Memorial: The Blackmun Wall

Women killed by legal abortion.

Scroll to Panel #28 and notice the name Latachie Veal.

I remember when 17 y/o Latachie Veal died in 1991. We were the same age. She died at the hands of Dr. Robert Crist in Houston–the same abortionist who serviced one of the clinics in San Antonio where I lived.

Latachie was bleeding after her abortion and when she asked the staff for help, she was assured her symptoms were normal. She was sent home and not monitored. She stopped breathing later that evening. In spite of CPR and 911. She was pronounced dead at a local hospital.

Robert Crist continued to perform abortions, killing babies and some mothers, in several cities around the country.

While Gary Ezzo has barely been mentioned here the past few weeks, his name has been coming up all over online. Interestingly, it isn’t the mamas who are blogging about him, but the dads. . .

For example, everyone’s favorite goddess-loving daddy-blogger, The Zero Boss, admits he struggles against the Christian stereotypes he holds and praises the Christians who vocally point out the errors of Ezzo’s ways.

In that article, he mentioned Hubby’s post Sex Ed, Repressed Authoritarian Style. Be sure to read the full critique of Reflections of Moral Innocence and comments from Dr. Barbara Francis.

Gid has a new baby in the house, and so is thinking more about cue-feeding and how PDF feeds into a parent’s need to control.

And Jenn’s husband almost hijacks her new blog–but instead asks her to post a collection of links he’s uncovered about Ezzo.

Late addition: Also, read Carol’s info on Ezzo-style crying, and comforting the needy infant.

The other day I linked to the Quizilla “What 60s Person Are You.” Since then, I’ve heard several sources link that quiz to a virus. I’m deleting my quiz post (I’m a Mod! *L*) and I recommend running whatever virus detection software you use.

So, consider yourself warned.

Jan. 18.

Prosecuted my catechetical method of discoursing. There appeared a great solemnity, and some considerable affection in the assembly. – This method of instructing I find very profitable. When I first entered upon it, I was exercised with fears, lest my discourses would unavoidably be so doctrinal, that they would tend only to enlighten the head, but not to affect the heart. But the event proves quite otherwise; for these exercises have hitherto been remarkably blessed in the latter as well as the former respects. — David Brainerd’s Journal

I’ve found that for me, doctrinal studies move my heart so much and not simply my brain. I remember reading the theology section in a textbook when I was 17 and feeling like I was rejoicing with the angels in heaven as I sat with my legs over the arm of my Dad’s oversized recliner.

OKCalvin encouraged me several months ago to be sure that the boys were learning their catechism. We’re using this Catechism for Young Children. The kids are definitely in the “Poll Parrot” stage, and like rhythmic recitation of the questions and answers.

At the beginning of the New Year, I started memorizing the Westminster Shorter Catechism via the plan found in TableTalk. (Yep, that’s another plug–you really should subscribe.) I especially like this online version of the Westminster Shorter Catechism with the Bible proof texts listed in frames. Not this time around, but eventually I want to memorize those verses associated with each question.

And while I’m not sure whether Brainerd had simply a question/answer method of teaching or the Westminster Shorter in mind when he wrote in his journal, I’ve been as remarkably blessed, as he said.

“A deeper problem I have with the advocacy of date nights is the underlying message behind them. Invariably the message that is clearly stated . . . or subtly alluded to is that children are a hindrance to the marriage, and parents must be regularly separated from the children to maintain a healthy marriage. . . . I think setting them up as adversaries to the marriage is unhealthy. The Bible states that children are a blessing. But far too often I think that in Christian society we don’t really see them that way. We see them as “in the way” far to often. . . ”

While I personally enjoy date nights with Hubby, I think Jenn is right on in her essay Children vs. the Marriage?

I have heard teachers and writers too often encourage antagonistic relationships within families–parents vs. children, husband vs. wife. (Gary Ezzo springs to mind.) While I don’t believe these teachers or parents are desirous of that outcome, their ideas set people up for interacting in controlling, conflict-ridden ways within families.

Wouldn’t it be great if the Church encouraged adults to embrace attitudes ones of “We’re all on the same team! We’re in the same Body of Christ!” within their families?

[It is] so rewarding and satisfying to my mother heart to know I have been created to meet my baby’s needs.

Babies were born to be breastfed.

“Consider it all joy my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 NASB

“I must have faith. I must believe what God has told me in His Word. I must see that what comes first to my thoughts is not always reality. Those could be fears and worries and anxieties. . . Faith comes by hearing God

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Update: Tim has announced the winners! Enjoy your new book, Bob R. & G. Clarke. Tim also mentioned he’ll be announcing a new giveaway in a few days.

Update: Tim has now posted his review of Total Truth. Hurry–you still have a day and a half to enter the drawing!

Have you ever heard of a New Year’s Resolution to give away books? This month Tim is featuring and giving away Total Truth by Nancy Pearcey.

“In today

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“I never imagined I

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