Sacha Baron Cohen/Other Characters

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Brüno

This section is about the Austrian annilingus enthusiast.
For the nigra-loving prostitute, see Rachel Bruno.


From Hitler to Schwarzenegger to Fritzl (he's Australian, failtroll) to Strache, Austria has begotten a fine line of talented RL trolls. Brüno, another of Cohen's monomial sock puppets, has yet to rack up a hueg gas bill in pursuit of the final solution to an alarming infestation, or indeed to keep his offspring in subterranean sexual slavery (in fact, Borat may have beat him to it), but he is trying hard to carve his niche in the the lustrous Austrian trolling firmament.
Unlike Borat, who couldn’t be straighter if he fucked his sister (wait, he does!), Brüno is a first-class flamer. Luckily, American men are very secure in their staunch heterosexuality, so this has not been an issue.

Recently, MTV put on another one of their shitty attempts at being hip and cool with their target demographic in the form of their movie awards, which is like the Academy Awards, but with a more unfunny host (usually an SNL reject) and crappier movies. Brüno made an appearance as an angel, and proceeded to descend onto Eminem and go in for Marshall's needle cock. Turned on by this, but nonetheless wanting to keep up his wigger persona (as well as keeping his closet door nailed shut), Eminem BAWWed and left soon after in a failed attempt to appear angry. It was later found out that it was staged by Cohen, indicating his massive troll powers.

Die TV Programmgestaltung

Österreichischer Fashionpolizei Obergruppenführer Brüno
das Fluchen das Fluchen das Fluchen das Fluchen das Fluchen das Fluchen

As with Borat, Brüno’s sole raison d'être is RL trollage of the various intellectual and enlightened strata of the Amerikkan populace and their counterparts the world over.

Interviewing an ex-Mossad Agent in Jerusalem:

 
 
What is the difference between Hamas and hummus?
 

 

He often induces the foot-mouth disease in his interviewees, as exemplified by these gems uttered by vainglorious designer fags:

  • about unfashionable people:
 
 
Why don't you just put them on trains and send them to a camp and say bye-bye?
 

 

Reply:

 
 
I would love to say bye-bye to most of them.
 

 

 
 
[He] is cool and fashionable.
 

 

 
 
Mini 9/11.
 

 

Of course, his main thrust is bringing up teh ghey, like this time with an ex-gay pastor:



Der Spielfilm

Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt is currently being filmed across the completely heterosexual country of U.S.A.

The production has not gone without birth pangs:


Redneck Rumble

Trolling a Milanese fashion show.
Brüno with his son OJ, whom he swapped with an African for an iPod a Zune.

Leave it to the God-fearing, simple folk of Arkansass to not suspect anything amiss with an event billed as "hot chicks, cold beer, and hardcore fights”.

They paid $5 for admission and filled up the convention center only to witness two guys strip down to their skivvies and maek out in the ring. PWN! Melee of righteous christian outrage ensued, and the also-fooled cops had their hands full with preventing a massacre.

Entering the ring as Straight Dave and looking like Ted Nugent in fatigues, Brüno had the already adrenaline and beer pumped crowd of redneck men and women frothing as he took the mic and proclaimed that he was so straight, when he bought his house he'd had the back door bricked up. This brought the rabid house down, but not as much as when he challenged a punter in the crowd that had called him a fag. This, however, was no ordinary homophobe, it was Brüno's former spurned lover Lutz who climbed into the Octagon to get a piece of Brüno. With the smell of blood in the air, the redneck crowd was in a frenzy, a charged up mob ready to see Straight Dave pulverise the challenger (or visa versa). Their celebration of hot man-on man action was short-lived as the two men in the cage started pawing each other, ripping off each others clothes and sinking to the canvas caressing and kissing each other and sucking on each others' nipples. The none too bright crowd momentarily stood silently in shock, their jaws dropping like a a pre-teen boys testicles, but as soon as the faggotry before them had finally registered the celebratory mob became an angry mob and rained down insults beer, cups and folding chairs. A full-blown riot was in the air as horny rednecks wanting in on the action, tried to scale the fence and get into the ring. Only security and the cops prevented Brüno and Lutz from getting lynched and/or buttsexed.

Babyfickenfreizeitbeschäftigung

Leave it to the god-fearing, simple folk of Dulles, Dumbfuckistan to not suspect anything amiss with a Craigslist ad offering $50 for 90 minutes as “audience for a new talk show discussing current politics/events”. Like their cross-border cousins, they got more than they bargained for when Brüno - who turned out to be the “guest” - strolled in with a black babby (who was wearing a onesie with "GAYBY" on the front, LOL).

Brüno claimed to have adopted the babby and, wasting no time, shew a series of gheyly explicit images on a big screen to document his recent honeymoon - to the delight of everyone in the audience.

Brüno trolls Ron Paul

In the recently released trailer, viewers with a keen eye can recognize one of Brüno's latest trolling victims, the internet's favorite politician, Ron Paul. However, the 'interview' is purely a ruse in Brüno's plans to get famous by making a sex tape for publicity.

After getting Ron Paul into a hotel room, Brüno starts off by talking to Paul about his campaign. When the film crew say there's a problem with the lighting in the main room of the suite they're using and need to break whilst they sort it out, Brüno leads Paul into the bedroom where he locks the door and proceeds to subtly seduce Ron Paul with candles, Champagne and sexytime innuendo talk. When Paul finally figures out what's up, he makes a hasty exit, screaming "HE'S A QUEER!"

Brüno Trolls Al Qaeda

After failing to solve the eternal conflict between Israel and Palestine during a trip to the Middle East, Brüno decides that getting kidnapped by Al Qaeda is the best way to become famous. In this vidya, Brüno states his case to a dangerous terrorist from the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade by telling him -amongst other things-


 
 
Your king Osama looks like a dirty wizard or a homeless Santa
 

 

—Brüno, über troll


Brüno Trolls Stage Mothers

During Brüno's attempts to organise a photoshoot he decides that kids will be the perfect accessory. Interviewing these kids' stage mothers and fathers it becomes apparent that they'll do anything to get their kids a part in Brüno's shoot.


 
 
Your child needs to lose 10lbs by next week. Will you consent to liposuction for her?
 

 

—Brüno


The mother shrugs it off and says she will.


 
 
Is your baby comfortable working with bees, wasps or hornets?
 

 

—Brüno


Again, no problem.


 
 
Are you okay letting your toddler wear a Nazi uniform and push a wheelbarrow carrying a Jewish baby into an oven?
 

 

—Brüno



 
 
That's fine, as long as he gets the gig.
 

 

—Mother


AufgabeFahrradFicker aka ExerciseBikeFucker

The Brüno production crew also had to engineer a device to get rid of Brüno's excess carb's (so he wouldn't carbicide). The device involves both hand movements, leg movements and arsche movements. The latter moves in and out repeatedly. All of these feats were made by a qualified gaygineer who also used Tom Cruise for initial testing of the ExerciseBikeFucker. Other ass craving celebrities such as Rosie O'Donnell, Ryan Seacrest, and most importantly, Pedobear have also pre-shitfucked the dildo mounted on the bike before Brüno had his moment to shine.

Ali G

Is it cause I is black?

Ali G (aka Alistair Leslie Graham) was Cohen's first and - arguably - most successful IRL troll persona due to the fact that nobody had been trolled by Cohen until then. After successfully trolling the UK for two seasons, he jumped on a plane to troll the fuck out of American politicians, scholars, religious leaders and fucktards in both Liberal and Conservative activist groups.

Playing an educationally challenged, crude, misogynist wigger Chav with a cable access show, Da Ali G Show, Cohen presented himself as the "voice of da yoof". After gaining access to some of the US power elite, he proceeded to fuck with and offend them -never breaking character -until they either walked out on the fake interviews (if they were smart enough) or until they were speechless.

Some of the people Ali G. pwnt

Andy Rooney, of the CBS program 60 Minutes. In the below vidya, Ali G. owns Andy Rooney twice. When Asking Rooney if newspapers should report events before they happen, Rooney suggests that Ali G is stupid for suggesting that the meedja could call an election before it was settled. This, in fact, happened in 1948 when US newspapers prematurely called the election for Thomas Dewey over Harry Truman.

Is It Cos I Is Black?

Boutros Boutros-Ghali, former Secretary General of the United Nations, (who he called "Boutros Boutros Boutros Ghali").

Brent Scowcroft, former National Security Adviser and Air Force General.

Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon. (Ali G. also called him "Buzz Lightyear").

C. Everett Koop, former U.S. Surgeon General.

Charles Schultze, former Chief Economic Adviser to President Jimmy Carter.

Christine Todd Whitman, former New Jersey governor and EPA administrator for W.

Daryl Gates, former LAPD Chief.

David Beckham, football player and his wife Posh Spice.

Dick Thornburgh, former U.S. Attorney General.

Donald Trump, real estate developer.

Gore Vidal, author (who Ali G. trolled by treating him as if he was interviewing Vidal Sassoon).

James Lipton, host of Bravo's Inside the Actors Studio.

Jenna Jameson, pr0n star.

John McCain, Presidential Candidate, US Senator

Kent Hovind, evangelist and Young Earth creationist.

Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the United States House of Representatives.

Noam Chomsky, MIT Professor and liberal terrorist hugger.

Pat Buchanan, political blowhard and former presidential candidate.

Kobe Bryant (whom he asks about the number of springs in a basketball)

Ralph Nader, consumer activist and the guy responsible for Bush winning in 2000.

Sally Jessy Raphael, former talk show host, (who congratulated him for "being himself")

Sam Donaldson, veteran journalist/TV newsman

Stansfield Turner, former Director Central Intelligence Agency.

Thomas J. Pickard, former FBI Director




Image:Little Troll.gif Sacha Baron Cohen/Other Characters is part of a series on Trolls.



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