Chastise with Love
spank, v. tr. To slap on the buttocks with a flat
object or with the open hand, as for punishment.
love, n. 1 A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection
and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition
of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Third
Disclaimer 1: Spanking children is a very controversal
topic. This website is intended for international audience. The laws concerning
the use of parental corporal punishment vary strongly among geographical
regions, countries and states. If you live in a place where spanking as a
parenting method is generally discouraged or unlawful, this website is
not for you - please
click here to go back.
Disclaimer 2: This website gives recommendations for parents
who choose to use spanking as a parenting tool. It does not encourage, advocate or recommend
spanking, but it recommends the replacement of inappropriate forms of
spanking by more appropriate ones. If you find this offensive, please
click here to go back.
A lot of people today believe that corporal punishment is violent and abusive
such. In their eyes, spanking children as a disciplinary method belongs
to the past and should be outlawed in modern society. Other people say
that corporal punishment is not necessarily abusive. There are acceptable
forms of spanking which can be rated "nonviolent" and "nonabusive" - it
depends on how the spanking is given.
"The critical issue is how spanking (or, in fact, any punishment)
is used more so than whether it is used. Physical abuse by an angry, uncontrolled
parent will leave lasting emotional wounds and cultivate bitterness and
resentment within a child. The balanced, prudent use of disciplinary spanking,
however, is an effective deterrent to aggressive behavior with some children."
(Dr. Den A. Trumbull, M.D. and S. DuBose Ravenel, M.D)
Why the need for this website? Fact is, in most parts of the world, spanking
is still a commonly used parenting tool.
However, most parents are uneducated in terms of how to/how not to spank, and many
use spanking inappropriately. Who suffers from this lack of information?
The children, of course. This website is a first small attempt to help
by providing "how to spank" information. It does not discuss whether spanking
should be used or not. There are already dozens of other websites and hundreds
of books devoted to that question.
Please note that this website is not intended to encourage spanking,
but to discourage abusive spanking. The idea is to help reduce child
abuse by educating parents. If parents follow the guidelines of this
website, they are likely to be on the safe side. Parents who exceed the
recommendations given here may hopefully come to realize they are overdoing it.
For theoretical background, please take the time to read the essay
"Spare the Rod?",
from which the above
quotation was taken. For recommendations on the practical aspects of spanking,
see the chapters below. For a list of related web resources, see "References
Table of contents:
This chapter defines the terms "corporal punishment", "spanking", and
"spanking with love".
A collection of polls and studies on spanking.
How much is spanking used today around the globe?
Dangers of abusive spanking
This chapter describes the physical and emotional dangers of abusive
Avoiding common mistakes
This chapter explains important basic guidelines on how to use spanking
This chapter is on how to balance reward and punishment,
and different degrees of punishment.
This chapter discusses the most common spanking implements.
This chapter discusses the most common spanking positions.
This chapter gives additional "how to" recommendations.
This chapter offers some recommendations on how parents can
This chapter makes suggestions on how parents can involve cooperative
This chapter discusses the issues regarding spanking older children
Rules and consequences in contract-like, written form.
For parents who are interested in using a punishment diary (journal).
A brief summary of this website's recommendations.
Off Topic: How can I get my parents to spank me?
Suggestions for teenagers who want to be spanked but aren't.
Off Topic: Poems
Not for serious: spanking-related nursery rhymes and poems.
Off Topic: Light Hearted Spankings
On birthday spankings, play acting and playful spanks.
Off Topic: Spanking Fetishism
Theories on the question whether spanking fetishism is caused by
childhood spankings or not.
Letters from readers of this website.
The CWL Award
Information on the CWL Award and how to apply for it.
About this website
Some background information on this site.
References and links
Links to related websites and book references.
About this website's logo:
The heart-shaped bottom symbolizes the idea that spanking can be in
harmony with parental love - if it is done the right way. This,
of course, excludes any forms of spanking that are violent, excessive,
or otherwise abusive. The green background symbolizes a positive
environment of love and care. The surrounding ribbon stands
for the emotional bond between parent and child.
This website is a moderated project: everyone can
contribute to it. Please send your requests for the
addition, deletion, or modification of individual paragraphs
Last update: Nov-30-2009
Next projected update on December 31, 2009