Received the Wrong Product... But Very Pleased!

Ryan Messner "dailymess" | March 16, 2010

I purchased this item after carefully reading the rave reviews online. Although the item shipped quickly, it took approximately four weeks to arrive. After 30 days of built up anticipation, I was disappointed to discover that the seller shipped me a gallon of cheese packaged in a Tuscan milk container. A novice mistake.

Rather than return the item, I decided to use it for sandwiches, pasta, wine parties, and kebabs. For those that have never tried Tuscan cheese before, they don't separate the curd from the whey, which makes it much more watery, yellowish, and sour than traditional cheeses.

In addition, it did cause some abdominal pain in all those who consumed it. Although, after ingesting large quantities over the course of a month, I built up a tolerance and eventually the extreme diarrhea dissipated.

Overall, I would highly recommend the Tuscan Cheese, and have tried contacting the seller in regards to getting a reorder, although they informed me that there is no such thing. Clearly, this was a new product that I received accidentally, and they are waiting for it to age more before offering it to the public. Until then, I'll try ordering the milk again.


Republican Jesus wins out

Gen. JC Christian, patriot | June 7, 2006

I've always been a huge fan of Mr. Coulter's. How can you not love someone who calls for the bombing of newspapers, demands the conversion of non-Christians by the sword, and mocks the grieving of Cindy Sheehan for her son and the 911 widows for their husbands. Coulter's popularity is the ultimate proof that America has rejected the old, compassionate, French-minded Jesus of the Beatitudes and adopted the Jesus of Our Leader, a savior who isn't afraid to [...] and slay nations, a redeemer who despises the weak and belittles the grieving.

The logic Coulter employs in "Godless" is impeccable. Liberals, she proclaims, detest science. They ignore the empirically observable truth that God fashioned Eve from Adam's rib while they promote superstitious Darwinism. They deny the science supporting the use of adult stem cells to cure disease because "Liberals just want to kill humans." How can you argue with that?


The Constitution as an Obstacle

Gen. JC Christian, patriot | January 20, 2010

John Yoo is a serious man. He understands that the Constitution is so precious that sometimes you have to destroy it in order the save it. To him, the Bill of Rights is a bunker on Omaha Beach, a threatening obstacle that has to be taken and burned in order to make our nation more pleasing to Our Dark Lord and Savior, Dick Cheney. Yoo wrote this book to justify such destruction.

He served this nation during very dark times. Our Great and Glorious Crusade Against The Unbelievers was underway, but Leader Bush was still stumbling, searching for a justification for His grand adventure. He needed political cover, and he needed it immediately. He summoned the Dark Lord from his undisclosed location and pleaded with him to provide it.

Cheney knew what had to be done. Saddam had to be tied to Al Qaeda. As a serious man, he understood that if evidence of such a tie was unavailable, it had to be created. Detainees would need to be coerced into making false confessions. It would require torture, an act that was considered unconstitutional at the time. Cheney turned to another serious man, Yoo--a man who would later tell Congress that the President can legally order a suspect to be burned alive or that his children be tortured--to write a justification for ignoring the Fifth and Eighth Amendments.

Yoo served the Dark Lord well by not only justifying torture but by destroying the Fourth Amendment to allow domestic spying as well.

I'm giving this book five stars--not because it is well argued or well written (it isn't) but because, like Yoo, I want to help shape our nation according to Lord Cheney's righteously Stalinesque vision.

It would be a much better book if Yoo added a few things. Serious men (and all serious people are men or at least have adam's apples) would support the use of suicide bombers in the defence of freedom. Surely, the College Republicans would eagerly volunteer to send the brown, black and poor on such missions. Suicide bombing needs a champion to advocate it as policy. Yoo would be perfect in that role yet he remains silent. Why is that?

The book would also be much more interesting if Yoo described what turned him into what he's become. Was it a frequent application of an Oxo Good Grips Brushed Stainless Steel Turner to the soft sweet flesh of his behind? Was it drinking non-fluoridated water? Does he deny his essence to women?

Perhaps he can add a chapter for the next printing.


I don't have much time.

John L. | June 23, 2008

This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be sometime around 2007 for whomever is reading this. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES. Something... happens with them. Something came through, something from somewhere else. We were overrun in days, not many of us are left. WE LIVE UNDERGROUND! ONLY YOU CAN STOP IT NOW. SAVE US. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES.

I don't have much time. This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be--


Dr. Parker has written a masterpiece!

Ari Brouillette | November 12, 2007

I first discovered Dr. Parker's brilliant analysis and forecast of Indian stacking chair consumption while completing my thesis on the roll played by wheel based ergonomic office chairs in workplace fatalities. In particular, I found fascinating the statistical modeling employed by Dr. Parker to determine governmental stacking chair purchase requirements for the year 2011, which is well know to be the year that the Indian Civil Service Entrance Exam switches to a "Standing Only" testing methodology. Indeed, after months of careful study I can find only two obvious faults with the findings put forward by Dr. Parker. Firstly, and far more seriously, while Dr. Parker's analysis included over 2600 Indian municipalities, his thoughtless exclusion of Indian bowling allies cuts short any possible insight into the scarcity of stacking chairs and the effects on Hindu-Muslim bowling alley violence. Perhaps the infamy of the religious riots in Pune, following Mohinder Singh's perfect 300 game in 1998 led to this exclusion, I only hope that this obvious gap in analysis does not alienate future generations of readers and lead them to repudiation this otherwise thoughtful and deeply insightful study. My final criticism has to do with the quality of the publication and lack of full color illustrations. The choice to use black and white illustrations may be in keeping with the scholarly focus of this publication but I find it hard to distinguish between the Duo and Cello stacking chairs featured prominently on pages 316-318.
Finally, I must comment that Dr. Parker's treatise on stacking chairs has reinvigorated my own personal interest in furniture based consumption modeling and the related effects on the medical industry. I have recently begun a study of metal folding table usage in the southern United States and the corresponding rise in emergency room visitation. I won't provide any spoilers in this forum, but I can't help but tease the fact that I have found a widespread correlation between metal folding table usage at Baptist picnics and emergency room visitation for trauma in the distal and proximal interphalangeal joints. I encourage the many fans of this book to check back soon for my own publication.

Uranium Ore ($24.95)


Great Product, Poor Packaging

Patrick J. McGovern "Procrastinating Evil Scientist" | May 14, 2009

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.


Great price, difficult to open, warm digital sound

Kennon L. Vinson "kennon" | March 22, 2010

First of all, the packaging can be a bit difficult to open. The cables have been known to eliminate electromagnetic energy and stop mechanical movement. So the packaging is robust. Denon does make a purpose made katana to open their packaging, but what am I made of money? I thought I would save some money and used a regular katana. Big mistake! I woke up a week later and realized I had accidentally severed the cable trying to open the package. The katana fused to my arm and I became an anime superhero...but I digress.

Surprisingly, the cable still functioned perfectly. Try that with a $100 cable! So, I did some research, and this cable is actually made of something called "neutronium" which is created by transmuting copper in a proprietary process. The process more than likely uses philosophers' stones, which is quite common in high-end electronics these days (Machina Dynamica's Brilliant Pebbles for example). And this would explain some of the regenerative effects. But it didn't explain why the cable worked even when cut... That's where Denon really thought out-of-the-box. To avoid degradation, the signal is merely dimensionally transported to the other end of the cable. A very simple and elegant solution, but which dimension and which multiverse? Well this is again, proprietary. While not a 100% solution (the neutronium is used to replace copyrighted frequencies in other dimensions), it provides a surprisingly reliable signal.

Now, I've read a lot of negative reviews, particularly about the cable's ability to alter or even destroy time and space. I think that's being a bit petty. I think Denon will eventually improve the consistency of the product. And read the instructions: "Please, avoid any type of feedback or you may experience a lack of existence".

I do not recommend you cut your cables like I did (unless you want to be crime-fighting superhero with a sword for an arm - awesome!) Apparently when I cut the cable I was actually killed, which was kind of a bummer. On the bright side, the regenerative effects of the cable brought me back to life and restored my lost limbs with superhuman strength. (BTW, if you accidentally do cut the cables, don't throw away the resultant luminescent "pixie dust".)

The saddest part, though, is when the cable is cut and the two pieces of the cable are placed about 5,000 km apart, you do get a very noticeable high-end distortion (around 100,000 Hz) that is absolutely unbearable. I can't recommend it for applications over 5,000 km. :(

Unfortunately, I have to give it two stars. Call me a purist, but I don't care for the better than original sound quality (fidelity anyone?!?). And yes, there are those existential bugs. And the color, I actually felt like hiding the wires behind my system. I would gladly pay $10,000 more to pick my own PantoneĀ®. Why is that not an option? Not a one star, but you get what you pay for.


Bucket - Tastic!!!!!

PHILIP J BICKEL | January 8, 2003

Being an afficianado and collector of buckets, I was ecstatic when I came across this 2 Gallon Galvanized wonder. It's beauty and wonder cannot be overstated. It is quite simply the Mercedes-Benz of buckets, if I may say. I ordered this amazing product and the days spent waiting for it were probably the longest of my life. When it finally arrived, I eagerly ripped open the box and tore off the paper covering the Dover Parkersburg 610. All the packaging wasn't even necessary, because this bucket folks, hold on to your hats, is made of METAL! That's right, 100% metal. As advertised, it is quite capable of holding water, but that moniker is far too restrictive. This versatile container can hold equal amounts of *any* liquid you can think of. To test it's claim that it holds two gallons, I went out and bought two gallons of buttermilk from my local dairy vendor. I poured both gallons of creamy goodness inside the 610, and to my surprise, it held both gallons! Then, of course, I faced the problem of having to drink two gallons of buttermilk. Long story short, the 610 was able to handle the resulting two gallons of vomit! Days later, when I got out of the hospital, cleaning the 610 was no problem. The galvanized surface made cleanup a snap. I have found countless other uses for this versatile bucket since then. Highly recommended!


One Friday, Without the Milk

Catherine Swinford | October 30, 2006

He always brought home milk on Friday.

After a long hard week full of days he would burst through the door, his fatigue hidden behind a smile. There was an icy jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz in his right hand. With his left hand he would grip my waist - I was always cooking dinner - and press the cold frostiness of the jug against my arm as he kissed my cheek. I would jump, mostly to gratify him after a time, and smile lovingly at him. He was a good man, a wonderful husband who always brought the milk on Friday, Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz.

Then there was that Friday, the terrible Friday that would ruin every Friday for the rest of my life. The door opened, but there was no bouyant greeting - no cold jug against the back of my arm. There was no Tuscan Whole Milk in his right hand, nor his left. There came no kiss. I watched as he sat down in a kitchen chair to remove his shoes. He wore no fatigue, but also no smile. I didn't speak, but turned back to the beans I had been stirring. I stirred until most of their little shrivelled skins floated to the surface of the cloudy water. Something was wrong, but it was vague wrongness that no amount of hard thought could give shape to.

Over dinner that night I casually inserted,"What happened to the milk?"
"Oh,"he smiled sheepishly, glancing aside,"I guess I forgot today."

That was when I knew. He was tired of this life with me, tired of bringing home the Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz. He was probably shoveling funds into a secret bank account, looking at apartments in town, casting furtive glances at cashiers and secretaries and waitresses. That's when I knew it was over. Some time later he moved in with a cashier from the Food Mart down the street. And me? Well, I've gone soy.


Best cable evr

Tyler Rohren "skylinrcr01" | October 25, 2009

I too was skeptical like many of you before i bought this cable. Little did i know my world was about to change. OH YES. Many reviewers have spoken about this cables ability to cure cancer or time travel. well.....they were right. Not only could I do all of those things, when I transversely connected it to my Thermal Froculator it Froculated a bajaillion times more efficiently. My girlfriend saw it froculating so well, she tried to destroy the poor cable. To LITTLE AVAIL! This cable withstood a moltov cocktail, a chainsaw and a Mini Gun! Once I found this out, I conversley protonated the majoplexor in my dining room, and my steak consumtion has incresed 2 fold.

In short if you have 500 dollars lying around, take a $3000 loan out and buy 7!