Forget muthaf*ckin snakes on your muthaf*ckin plane... these days we're dodging overly aggressive security screeners, bitchy flight attendants and ever increasing and more ridiculous add-on charges. ($45 for carry on bags, Spirit Airlines? What's next, charging 25 cents for cocktail napkins?)
So while it's enough to make even Amtrack look like a viable option, there are still many of us who have to fly the not so friendly skies regularly, asinine charges or not.
With that in mind, the guys over at
CouponSherpa.com put together a list of the 13 most common problems we face, along with some solutions. Because no one really wants to spend 2 days on a bus to get to Spring Break.
1. How Much is That Doggy?
PROBLEM: sure Sparky is man's best friend, but pets don't earn frequent-flier miles. And they can cost more than humans to travel. Prices vary, but on an average you'll pay $300 round trip for "Winnie The Pooch" or "Kat Vonnegut" to fly in the cabin, and $550 to ride in cargo. Some airlines also charge an extra double-jeopardy baggage fee for checked pets.
SOLUTION: If you've just gotta bring Rover along on the journey,
Pet Airways, a pet-friendly airline, offers an alternative to help your cat, dog or hamster have a happy flight.
2. Thumbs on the Scale
PROBLEM: Your luggage seems to gain weight on the way to the airport. Even with careful packing and at-home weighing, some passengers report increased bag weights when placed on airport scales. Which aren't subject to calibration like deli scales are, yet can still lead to hefty overweight fees. For example, some fliers say lost bags later delivered via Fed Ex lost extra pounds on the delivery service's scales, as opposed to the carrier's scales.
SOLUTION: The U.S. General Services Administration
website lists baggage allowances and fees for the major airlines. Check them ahead, and plan to be at least 5 pounds under.
3. The Two-Hour Window
PROBLEM: Carriers say passengers need to arrive at the airport at least two hours ahead of their flights. Problem is, counter service isn't always available when you arrive two hours early, and flight delays can lead to long waits in uncomfortable airport seating. Thus, early birds hoping to avoid lines and secure a decent seat are wasting time for nothing.
SOLUTION: Check your flight's arrival time on
FlightView. Its real time flight info let's you decide the best time to arrive at the airport.
4. Infrequent Fliers
PROBLEM: Remember when using your frequent flier miles was free? Some airlines now charge a hefty $75 to $100 fee if you book without "sufficient' notice: from three to six days, depending on the airline. Endless rules and limits make it nearly impossible to really take advantage of all those miles you've accumulated.
SOLUTION: WebFlyer is a free online service that helps
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GUY GUIDES
April 12, 2010
Looks like Gin and Juice isn't the only thing Snoop Dogg keeps in his diamond-studded pimp goblet. Apparently he's a fan of
1800 Tequila. Even rapping about it on the single "1800" from his recent albums
Malice in Wonderland and
More Malice. (Hmm. 1800's got Michael Imperioli appealing to the ganster demographic, and now they've got Snoop bringing in the ganstas...)
So if you want to keep it real, party off the hizzle like D-O-Double G, and get your 100% agave drink on, here's the official cocktizzle 1800 designed in Snoop's honor. Fo' shizzle my nizzles.
1800 Sour Fizzle
1 oz 1800 Silver Tequila
1 oz Triple Sec
1/2 oz 7-Up
Sweet and Sour Mix to taste
Shake over ice or blend. Garnish with a slice of lime.
GUY GUIDES
April 12, 2010
For those strapped for time and money, the prospect of dating isn't even a consideration. So getting a little "sex with no commitment" is the ideal situation. And who do a lot of us look towards for some no-strings bumping? Our friends.
A
New York Times article said that "Friends with Benefits" (or FWB for those into chat slang), has become the go-to relationship, especially on college campuses.
And according to the lab coat wearing, uber-number-crunchers over at
BookOfOdds.com the odds a college student has ever had a FWB is
1 in 2. Meaning half have boinked a buddy for a little study time stress relief.
For us guys, the odds that we would "phone a friend" when in need of some release is
1 in 1.57, or about 64%. Odds our female counterparts would do the same is slightly less at 1 in 1.99 or about 51%.
So why do we prefer to mate with a mate over developing a traditional relationship? Besides the aforementioned money and time issues associated with dating, BookOfOdds cites a recent study conducted at Michigan State that found: "Sexual involvement with a friend was viewed as safe and convenient. There’s also the comfort factor: many young people prefer to have sex with a person they know and trust, rather than that cute stranger at the bar. So an FWB situation is a happy medium between an actual romantic commitment and a casual hook up."
After all... what are friends for?
GUY GUIDES
April 09, 2010
GUY GUIDES
April 09, 2010
Five years ago, Yvonne Roberts of the
Sunday Telegraph Magazine unknowingly coined one of the most overused buzzwords of the mobile age: "Sexting."
While the word may seem to be gaining strength thanks to Tiger and Jesse James, it's only a matter of time before it jumps the shark and is (thankfully) retired from daily conversation.
In an effort to help finally push these words out of our everyday language, the popular text messaging community
Predicto Mobile has identified some possible mashup replacements to flood the lexicon with:
XXXting: AKA, "The Joslyn James," a new level of sexting featuring pornographic (and possibly marriage ending) content
Taxting: Sending a barrage of messages to one’s accountant requesting last minute advice on April 15th.
Chexting Perfected by Jesse James and Tiger Woods, the practice of cheating via text.
Wrexting: – The result of texting and driving.
Flexting: The art of bragging about one's physique to the opposite sex via constant texts. (Or texting while at the gym...)
Anorexting: A disorder in which individuals believe that their text messages are too fat, limiting messages to less than 20 characters
Tuxting: The inappropriate act of sending texts while standing on the altar during one’s wedding ceremony
Cineplexting: The annoying practice of reading and responding to text messages during a movie
And because this has (regrettably) taken on a life of its own... here are a few from me:
Intoxting: Texting while under the influence.
Czech-ting: Hitting up that hot Eastern European chick you met downtown last weekend.
Perplexting: Sending random, incoherent texts. (See Intoxting.)
Mexting: Texting the lovely senoritas you met in Mexico.
CosPlexting: Sending texts while dressed as your favorite comic book character.
Rednexting: Writing down your text on a piece of paper and holding it up.
Politexting: Sending messages when you should be running the country.
Neglexting: Ignoring the barrage of texts that come in on a daily basis, and actually enjoying life.
(If I forgot any... add 'em to the comments below.)
The object of fan boy fantasies across the Interwebs, Olivia Munn, took to the streets to conduct a "social experiment" (read: commercial for AXE), to see how alert guys were first thing in the morning.
So she donned a disguise consisting of a plain gray outfit and black horn-rimmed glasses, put her hair in a pony tail... apparently she studied at the Clark Kent Academy of Disguises... and employed a construction worker, a mime (most money this guy's made all year), and a pair of hot blondes, to distract guys she approached on the street.
The "experiment"? To see if these guys were alert enough to realize that THE Olivia Munn was standing, in the flesh, mere inches from their faces. While ignoring the construction worker, a dancing mime, and a pair of hot blondes. I'm guessing this experiment doesn't adhere to standard scientific practices...
The result? Well, the clueless guys fall for the blondes every time, leaving poor Olivia alone on the sidewalk... proving conclusively that guys are not alert in the morning. Or that they prefer blondes to brunettes two to one. Or that mimes are frigging annoying. Or, and this is my personal feeling, that the Clark Kent disguise is much more effective than we thought. You decide.
ENTERTAINMENT
April 08, 2010
Going to The Masters this weekend? Well, we know you're gonna want to follow Tiger and yell some words of "encouragement." Fortunately, our friends over at
Playboy.com sent the image below, with some of their top Tiger catcall suggestions.
Inspired, the guys from
Masters of None and I decided to come up with a few of our own. The stuff we'd yell... should that court order ever be lifted, and we're allowed in the state of Georgia again... (Got some ideas of your own? Post 'em in the comments.)
Our Suggestions:
"At least that lie won't get you a club in the mouth!"
"Try to keep this Caddie out of the trees!"
"Stop hitting the hosel!"
"Hit the 5 iron, instead of it hitting you this time!"
"Hey Tiger, this threesome's not nearly as much fun, is it?"
On a short approach shot: "Hit a 9. For a change!"
In the case of a playoff... "Isn't 18 holes enough?"
After everyone shouts "Get in the Hole!"... You shout: "That's what she said!"
And for the real golf fans: "That's not a chick, Tiger, that's Camilo Villegas!"
HUMOR | SPORTS
April 07, 2010
We've been getting in squabbles of one kind or another ever since our first "No I didn't!" "Yes you did!" argument with Mom when we were 5. And for most of us, verbal battles are an unpleasant fact of life. Kind of like Ryan Seacrest... ever present, annoying and completely unavoidable.
But as many professional arguers (like attorneys and housewives), know, there are key strategies to winning any argument. So I spoke to Brett Reilly, Founder of
InstantJury.com, the go-to site for settling squabbles over fantasy football, roommate issues or any other little thing that gets your dander up. (And if you don't have a beef, but love getting involved in other people's bidniss, you can sit on a jury, or be a judge. Hear that? It's the sound of a million mothers-in-law logging on...)
Here are Reilly's 9 top tips the best arguers use to win their cases:
1: Pick Your Battles.
This is the most important point of all. You don't want to argue with a 6-foot 5-inch bouncer when he insists that you had too much to drink. That's probably an argument you’re not going to win. Pick only the battles that you have a reasonable chance of winning.
2: What’s In It For Me?
Sometimes just knowing you’re right is justice enough but sometimes it pays to kick and scream to score those two first class tickets to Tahiti. The bigger the prize, the better your argument must be. Always know what you stand to win…and lose!
3: Stack the Jury.
You need to know who’s going to render the verdict before you start arguing. If you're trying to make a case for watching Monday Night Football to a group of women holding a Sex and the City DVD, you probably won't get many votes. Make sure you're at least on a level playing field.
4: Just the Facts Ma'am.
If you don’t know the key points of your argument as well as your opponents, you'll have a difficult time creating a sound case. Positioning your strong points against the holes of the opposition's case will make for stronger case in your favor.
5: Find Some Red Hands.
Having irrefutable evidence helps make any case stronger. You can't jus
...There's more
Remember the kickass sounds of the Wu-Tang Clan? RZA was the man behind the beats, and if you think you've got the mad skillz to kick it ol' school Wu-Tang style and bring your own beats, then he wants to hear 'em.
RZA is running a new contest, challenging users of his iDrum app to a "Duel of the Disciples." Mix your best beats and enter them by April 29th, to win some sweet prizes. The grand prize includes a copy of The Tao of Wu, autographed by RZA, and a complete suite of iZotope software.
All you've got to do is download the app for your iPhone
here. Then go back to your "studio" and use the included 17 original RZA beats and give them your own unique spin. Then just share your creation on Twitter and Facebook and you're automatically entered. Easiest entry ever. The winning beat will be added to the next version of the iDrum app, exposing people worldwide to your musical genius.
(Full contest details are here.)
ENTERTAINMENT
April 07, 2010
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