Results tagged “CL Anderson”

This is the part I hate.

I’ve just finished a project, it’s polished and as perfect as I can make it. I can read it over and say “Ooo, that’s good.” If I find a place that needs tweaking, I can fill in a paragraph, or even a page or whole scene at light speed, because I have such a strong sense of the work as a whole (not because of any miracle of skill, but just because I’ve been living with the thing for anywhere from a month to a year). Then, I run the final spell check, make sure I’ve spelled the editor’s name right on the cover letter/e-mail, and off it goes.

Then I tidy up my desk, put the research books on the shelf, maybe catch up on some long overdue housework.

And then the next day comes, and I have to start over. A new idea, a new project, a blank screen.

Suddenly, everything goes from almost intuitive ease to a slog. No matter how well I’ve outlined (if I’ve outlined at all), there’s this huge blank in my brain about these people and this world that’s got to be filled in one slow word at a time.

Not only that, but those slow words are klunky. Every time. I go from being able to turn a pretty good phrase, set a good scene to barely being able to put two words together, never mind put two paragraphs together. It’s that blank. A finished project has a solid support structure to hang things on. A new story, those first words, which will probably be thrown out (a reality that does not make putting them on the page any easier, let me tell you), they ARE the support structure; the first nuts and bolts for a scaffolding on which a whole world will be built.

But I think what’s worst is the uncertainty. No matter how many times I do it (and I’ve done it a lot), going from that feeling of knowing EXACTLY what I’m doing and where I’m standing to the middle of the unknown and having to find my way out.

So I fumble, and I procrastinate and I whine. My house is never cleaner than when I’m starting a new project. But I still sit at the computer every day (okay, okay ALMOST every day) and I type out those shaky words, and tighten them up, and rearrange them, and add onto them, or cut them away, slowly and painfully. Because that’s the only way to build the world and find out where I am.

I’ve been reading for research lately. This has led me into the realm of the Published Rant. Which has in turn, led to the following:

LETTERS TO A CYNICAL WRITER
By Anne Author

Dear M. Writer:

I understand that you are Cynical. I understand that you have seen much of the world and that you are wearied and angered by it all. I understand that beside you I am a Babe in the Woods. After all, who am I? A mere provincial Romantic who still might take things at face value, and who might still enjoy what is nice, pleasant, charming or, well, Romantic. I understand that you are here to open my eyes, to save me from the evils of trust and romanticism and, most of all, to show me the Truth. And the Truth is going to be unpleasant. You know this because you have seen it and that is why you are Cynical.

However, M. Writer, if you are going to tell me the Truth, and are going to make the scales fall from my eyes, there are several things you are going to have to do first.

If you wish to shock me out of my nievete, you are going to have to show me something new. Contrary to what you may believe, I have heard coarse language. As a resident of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, I have been exposed to bodily fluids and know several homonyms for them. Showing them to me with unusual backdrops does not shock me. It might, however, lead me to mistake you for a frat boy rather than a cynic, and have me wondering if the fart references are coming next. Further, I am aware that people get drunk and behave badly in public, especially if they are rich and/or famous. Informing me that this happens produces no revelation, but may induce a discreet eye-roll in your direction.

I am likewise acquainted with several of the common, or garden-variety, forms of hypocrisy and greed. Telling me they exist, especially among the rich and famous (or the service industries) likewise fails to cause a blanch to fall over my delicate complexion. I am likewise unmoved by graphic violence or invocations of Hitler or Stalin. I am also aware that advertising frequently disguises the slip-shod and/or unhealthy and that corporations do not have my best interests at heart. Merely declaring the aforementioned conditions to be so without naming names, citing specific incidents, referring to interviews with participants or experts does not enlighten, or, more importantly, shock.

I don’t. Really. I don’t believe there is a mental disorder that only strikes writers. As my friend the writer Steven Harper Piziks put it: dentists do not wake up in the morning, go into the office, stare at an open mouth and say “OMG, I can’t drill! I just…can’t…drill…” Or if they do, we call it burn out and the smart dentist changes jobs, or gets a better shrink.

But writer’s block is mysterious, it’s dramatic. It is regarded as a sign of true artistic temperment and possibly genius. Because everybody knows Geniuses are tempermental and a little c/r/a/z/y eccentric.

In short, unlike the dentist’s failure to drill demonstrating the symptoms of writer’s block gets you attention and sympathy and even a weird kind of respect. Kind of like the ladies of old Great Britain with their Nerves and Vapors.

Don’t get me wrong, writing is a tough gig and there are days it does not go well. In fact, there are days it doesn’t go at all. I have been stuck, even mired. But usually this is because of something I’m doing, or not doing. Usually, I am not looking at the scene in the right way. I don’t have a clear handle on the goals of the characters, or, worse, I’ve gotten lazy and ignored something important further up the line, or refused to acknowledge that the way I had planned to write the scene is no longer going to work because of changes I’ve made to the plot.

In cases like these, the answer is similar to that with any other sticky problem. Step back. Walk around the block. Take a shower. Do a load of laundry. Work on something else. Come back fresh and ready to do the needed work. Amazing how the words almost seem to rearrange themselves and provide the answer.

This can be hard to do, however, when you’re under pressure. And everyone who writes professionally is under pressure. Writing is a performance art and it is also piece work. You don’t produce, you don’t get paid. You don’t produce, you lose your audience. To make your living eventually something of yourself has got to get out there and face the judges and the judges have to buy it, literally.

Which means there is a condition similar to what gets called writers block.

Stage nerves.

A lot of writer’s block stems from simple fear. Fear of failure, or the less recognized but equally debilitating fear of success. Fear of rejection, criticism or of simply not being able to meet your own standards. This can all make your brain and fingers seize up tight. But it is not mysterious and it is not unique. It’s just fear, pure, simple human fear.

So what do you do? Ultimately, there’s only one thing to do; You put on your big girl panties and you deal. You start meditating, you find a good shrink, you form a support group, you adjust your routine, you write the book that’s just for you and you’re never going to show to anyone so the pressure of having to go on stage is off long enough to prove to yourself that you can still lay words down. You do whatever you have to that does not involve self-destruction. NOTE: If you are doing alchohal, drugs, self-cutting (and I’ve known writers who do all of them), GET HELP NOW. But you do not lie on the sofa eating bon bons and wailing (unless they’re really good bon bons and then you have my permission to do this for three hours on a Sunday afternoon). Or sit in the bar nursing your scotch and wailing. That’s not how pros behave, that’s how my seven-year-old behaves (metaphorically speaking of course).

The ultimate problem, I think is, the Writing Life is one that lets you get away with a lot if you let it. Deadlines tend to be long term. You’re on your own. It’s easy for the bad habits and the self-doubt to creep in and with them the self-justification. But it’s not real. None of it. What’s real is that if you’ve stopped writing there’s a reason, and it’s an identifiable reason and you, the writer, need to find it.

And who knows, your next great idea might be hiding under it.

It’s out! It’s out! Bitter Angels is out!

Forgive the jumping up and down, but having the book actually on the shelves is truly exciting. You bet I’m hitting the bookstore later today to have a long, ego-fulfilling look.

Other things happening today: I’m now officially a member of Book View Cafe, an online professionals author cooperative. From BVC you can read a sample of Bitter Angles, and also read a free short story by yours truly.

We’re also running a Twitter fic contest! The task: your best story in 140 characters or less on the theme of Spies in Space (okay all of you who remember The Muppet Show, all together now: Spiiiiiiiiiiiiies in Spaaaaaaaaaaace…) The prize: the two best entries (as determined by the crack panel of celeberaty judges) will each receive an autographed copy of Bitter Angels. The contest ends Friday, Aug. 26 at 9:00 pm EST. Good luck to all!

1500 Followers—take that, Branch Davidians.

I mean…hooray for us!

And, more importantly: hooray for you. Because, as promised, @bantamspectra is giving away books.

The rules are pretty simple:

1) Follow us on Twitter
2) Be a U.S. citizen (We’re so sorry—we love all of our foreign followers, but they kind of get antsy here when we have to send stuff international, which for some reason includes Canada. Yes, we realize Canada is a separate country, but, well…come on. It’s right there. Alas, our friends to the north, I can’t bend on this).
3) Send a tweet with “@bantamspectra” saying you want free books (or simply make sure it has “@bantamspectra” and “#15kbk”)
4) Do this (once) until 11:59 PM EST, Sunday, August 23, 2009.
5) Wait for us to put the entries into a random number generator (the order you respond is your number), and then pick the winners.
6) Win free books!
7) We will announce the winners by Wednesday, August 26, 2009 (but probably sooner), and ask that they DM us with their address.
8) Receive free books!

And which books, exactly, can you win? Let me tell you:

As a fan of the original series, I find myself oddly optomistic about the new movie. There’s been a good streak of classic SF series remakes lately (if you can call Dr. Who and Battlesatar Galactica a streak). I’ve been watching the trailers and there are signs that this movie was made by people who “get it.” They understand what was good about the original characters and what made them last long enough to reinterpret.

The original TV show lasted only 3 years, the original spin-off ran for 7, and the one after that for another 7. That’s a lot of TV. So, the question is: what was the best overall episode? Or, if you think that’s comparing apples to oranges, what was the best episode for each of the spin-offs.

As much as I enjoyed the Deep Space 9 episodes “Absolom” and “The Wire,” I’m going to put in my vote for an original series episode: “The Devil in the Dark.” It is a surprisingly good piece of science fiction writing, and, unlike most of the original series eps, it worked better for me when I went back and watched it as an adult than as a kid.

So, what’s your vote?

My interview with Bantam’s own David Pomerico is now posted at my blog:

http://carolynanderson09.wordpress.com/

Greetings. My name is CL Anderson and I’m a new Bantam author.

My novel, BITTER ANGELS will be appearing this summer, and I’m truly looking forward to it. Working with Dave and the Bantam team has been a terrific experience. Not to mention the fact that they created an extremely cool cover for the book:

BITTER ANGELS is space opera, pure and simple. Well, maybe not so simple. It is a story of the struggle between duty, love and family. I tend to think of it as “John LeCarre in space.” Which truly startled me when I was writing it, because I am not a great fan of John LeCarre.

I plan to check in here on a regular basis. I also have my own blog “In the Future, Tense” which is mainly about the writing and reading life at: http://carolynanderson09.wordpress.com/

I also Tweet as cl_anderson09. I admit to being a bit sporadic about this because I spend most of my day at home writing, and I have a really boring cat.