GOW III: Boob-sploitation 101

April 8th, 2010 at 1:30 pm · 27 Comments

Quite recently, I was asked how such a nice girl like me could be playing such a brutal game like God of War III.  Well for one, if you’re referring to me as a “nice girl,” you clearly have no access to police records.  However, I do get these types of questions all the time. I guess it sometimes shocks people that I would want to smash a god’s face in with gauntlets.  Yet, the questions have shifted to something that’s apparently more interesting and people are curious as to my reaction to it.

I’m very familiar with the GOW series.  I’ve played the first two installments back when they were on the PS2, zoomed through the prequel PSP game, and went at it some more when the GOW collection made its debut on the PS3.  So, I am very aware of the infamous sex minigames.  They have always been optional, but when they promise a good amount of red orbs, as a gamer trying to max out weapons, I feel a bit obligated to participate in some awkward button smashing and stick rotations (FYI: It turns out I’m quite the lover, I always rock some togas off).

I was ready for what was to come in GOW IIIwhen I started playing; those moments barely took up a minute of my time anyway – Am I right ladies?  But when so many staff members kept asking me if I got to Aphrodite yet, I started to get a little nervous.

And there she was; first an array of constant moans, then a cutscene full of topless suggestions.

I was very tempted to pass up on becoming the ladies’ man.  It was funny how the minigame had evolved into a plot point with a bonus.  Some severe thought was put into this chamber scene. It takes talent to go from breaking a vase to modeling two excited women watch Kratos/you give humanity a good name.

Still, my obsession with trophies and the need for some upgrades got the better of me, so I sat through the love fest. As if sitting through bad voice acting from the spectators wasn’t enough, it was even more awkward when I had to do the minigame a second time – I didn’t press the last button fast enough (A nickel for every time that, uh, never mind).  The future goddess of STD’s seemed satisfied with my later attempt and she rewarded me with bright red orbs.

Now, I understand GOW III was meant to be over-the-top graphics-wise, so it didn’t surprise me much the sex minigame got to the level that it did.  Considering all the vicious disfigurement of body parts I had seen leading up to that part, it was not much of a big deal.  Yet, as a gamer chick, I was still a little disappointed the developers decided to go in the route that they did.  Some subtle innuendo similar to the previous games would have been enough; you don’t always have to give in to the fanboys who beg for virtual breasts.  These people might start neglecting the real boobs out there trying to make a living.

With game points like this, it seems there may be a trend to exploit the human body as games become more accurate and realistic.  Remember, that it wasn’t too long ago that we got a glimpse of Ethan and Madison’s goodies from Quantic Dream’s Heavy Rain.  I’m not squeamish with nudity in my video games; it just gets tiring when there’s too much of it, at least for me as a female gamer.  But, I’m sure many of you males out there have a save point reserved for lonely nights, so I might be talking to myself here, heh.

Man, I’ve never had a trophy pop-up that made me feel so dirty.

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  • Tags: ·
    Categories: Editorial · PlayStation 3

    27 responses so far ↓

    • darkwonders says:


      That is all…

    • Lynx_Lapdance says:

      Love that it’s actually tagged “boobs”

    • I did it all for the trophy. The trophy. So you can take that ruphie and stick it up….

      Oh, sorry. Had an inappropriate Limp Bizkit moment there.

    • Yamster says:

      As if that scene wasn’t hilarious as it was, the two maidens suddenly turning VERY American and exclaiming “Parents shouldn’t let their children watch this! This is for MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY!” was the cherry on top of the proverbial cake.


    • Dave says:

      I felt that somewhere there were boobs being discussed, so I had to chime in…. BOOBS!

    • hardrocknguy says:

      Boobs… Boobies… Bewbies

      Don’t feel bad, I too felt dirty after I had gotten sone trophies off a game. It was called Terminator: Salvation. I never felt more of a (trophy) whore until I played that game… Boobs!

    • Crisis says:

      I giggled uncontrollably throughout the entire article.

      Also, boobs.

    • I Digg it! Literally! Were the topless ladies necessary? Not really. But they are a nice treat on top of a game that is otherwise all about brutality and testosterone run amock.

      I mean, boobs…are just great. I’d have preferred to see some booty, but I’m too much of a pig to complain much.

      • Esmeralda says:

        You’re an ass man PacMan? Didn’t think it!

        There were some Aphrodite booty shots (I’m so scarred I remember this, nooo!) so you were all too happy to replay that scene ;)

        • Hehe. That was not booty…I was looking for some badonkadonk! I was a lil creaped out that those two chicks just watched…like I was being graded. All A’s…

    • Jia Xu says:

      It was appealing to the LCD, no doubt, but it actually does kinda retain the feel of mythology that way. The Greek and Norse gods stoshed each other silly all the time,and humans in rather creative ways (Zeus seducing women as a deer, anyone?), so a few onlookers is rather tame.

    • darkwonders says:

      Oddly enough I have my game saved at that point right now…

      Not because I enjoyed that part or anything… it just so happened to be where I stopped playing that night.

    • Lost Flock says:

      everyone needs to see a nice pair of breast in a game every now and then

    • CyberColossus says:

      I havnt played GOW3 but I’ve seen it played. Altho I have rather… Let’s say heavy gamer friends who don’t see real women much. And as I have my girlfriend to satisfy my “boob” needs I didn’t get half as excited to see virtual boob rendered on his standard definition tv. Awesome game tho

    • Croatoan says:

      I applaud you Esmeralda. It’s for this reason I do not buy any of the games in the GOW series. To me it’s just completley unnessecary. It’s too bad. GOW has a good story.

      • Esmeralda says:

        I understand that one of the reasons GOW has naked women (besides appealing to the male fans) is because Greek history has a reputation for portraying women in that manner. It is sometimes overly unnecessary, but I never said it takes away from the story! You should still give it a chance :)

        • Croatoan says:

          I never said that you said that it takes away from the story, and I’m sure it doesn’t, it’s just I would not want like to see my kids exposed to it so what kind of example does that set. Besides on games like that, the ones I just want to know the story…I wikipedia it or look through a walkthrough so I don’t miss out.

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