Achievements or Nookie?

July 9th, 2010 at 2:22 pm · 21 Comments

As a psychology major, the mind of the human being fascinates me a great deal, and nothing is more interesting than the brain of my fellow gamers.  After all, you’re all a bunch of weirdos and borderline psychotics.  Did I just lose my only reader?

Well, I stumbled upon some interesting articles that, although a bit dated, still raise a good question that I ask you all: Would you choose video games over sex? Keep on reading to see where this goes

When I say the word sex, I’m not referring to the solitary game you play every 4 hours in the dirty work bathroom.  No, I’m talking about knocking boots with another person!  Now I know it is shocking that there are people out there that would even think of touching you, but hey, I’m no one to judge.

This topic comes from a study done a few months back by a University in California on a gamer’s preference between their two favorite hobbies.  The study involved 100 men, and after much scientific observation the researchers concluded that 67 men enjoyed video games over sex.

Here’s a breakdown of how everything went down: The men were asked to play one of five games they’ve never played before for 30 minutes, no distractions.  They then spent 30 minutes with their sweetheart, or whoever they could pick up on the corner on the way over.  The scientists noticed a large portion of the men had higher levels of adrenaline while playing games like Gears of War and Super Mario Galaxy compared to doing the nasty with their booty call partner.

From the adrenaline level findings, more men seemed to enjoy the virtual goodies over their lover’s goodies.  Yet, only 18% of men said they preferred video games over sex.  The other 82% fancy the naked time, so the figures don’t seem to correlate.

As interesting as this is, this study was poorly constructed. Heres why: Endorphins are what most associate with pleasure in the human body, considering getting tortured also raises ones levels of adrenaline.  Plus, there are more than 100 gamers in a given radius; there could have been more participants.

Nevertheless, it confirms that there are real people out there who admit that they like video games better than trying to make babies!  Here’s more proof: back in 2009, a UK Specialist PlayStation 3 site conducted a survey on 1,130 men.  They reported that one in three guys prefer video games over sex.  If there was a brand new title involved, it shifted to 75%!

Alright, what’s going on guys?  You’re lucky to have a girl like you as it is!  You should be grateful they’re letting you get in their pants, so who are you to pass it up when she’s the one feeling frisky for once?  As a concerned friend (and a bored writer), I’ve concluded on the several factors that might be to blame.

  • Problem: Games are getting more life-like as the years roll around, so the realistic barrier might be overlapping for some of you.  Now, with the addition of motion control and 3D added to the mix, you might be a lost cause.
  • Solution: Before its too late, grab for the nearest boobs!  No matter how authentic an experience feels, nothing beats the real thing or fake, for those girlfriends out there that had upper-level remodeling work done.
  • Problem: Games are spontaneous and unexpected, much cooler than sex.  If youre saying this to yourself, youre doing it wrong!
  • Solution: If youre bored in your relationship, do something about it!  Nothing will get fixed if the mechanic doesn’t do his job.  Think of ways to spice things up.  Otherwise youll be alone wishing you had invested in the stripper pole for the bedroom.  As a side note, Im channeling Jax right now for all this sex advice.  Promise.
  • Problem: Youre old and its your hormones to blame!
  • Solution: Scientifically, men are more sexually viable in their 20s.  Once the 30s come about, youll notice a difference in where youre attention is at (TV vs. Boobies).  Youd rather lounge around then move around.
  • Solution: Get healthy you fat slob!  I mean, maybe it’s time to use your Wii to get fit enough to USE your “Wii.”

Granted, if you’re that one in three men who prefer video games over sex and want to keep it that way… maybe it’s a good thing you’re not procreating.  The purpose of this article is to urge nerds to get laid, because I care!  Also because we can’t let those Jersey shore douchebags be the only baby daddies of our future.  Happy “gaming”!!

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  • Tags: · · · ·
    Categories: Editorial

    21 responses so far ↓

    • jonesey666 says:

      what were the results with women? I bet at least a third would choose shopping over sex.

    • cleversignin says:

      One time I went over a week without touching my PS3 because I had other things going on. When I was in the mood and turned it on, it didnt give me any attitude.
      Advantage: PS3

    • Ripz says:

      I prefer sex. Every. Single. Time. The game will still be there when youre done.

    • Pillowfort says:

      Id refute the scientific integrity of this test but I think thatd just confirm Im seriously not getting any.

      Strangely appropriate Captcha: Interview Madame

    • Velathir says:

      Seems like the Heavy Rain shower scene @ E3 really hit too close to home

    • karbaasi92 says:

      For me it sounds so silly, that men would rather play games than have sex. Im sure as hell wouldnt.

      I could barely understand playing games if the game would be a triple A game that has been hyped for 6 months and you go and get the game on midnight launch. Because I mean, popping the fresh new game into your system is like having your first time again right?

      Although Im not an expert on this subject xD
      But nice article Esme. I like how you get this psykolotical side in your articles :)

    • Shaxster says:

      Awesome CAPTCHA. weirdo bystanders Pretty much sums up me on this article.

    • Chubbaluphigous says:

      I have never turned down sex in favor of a videogame. I did however leave a girl when she told me to chose between her or my games. I told her that, I was choosing the right to enjoy and like things of my choosing over her. I am a bit of a stubborn Jackass when it comes to keeping my choices. The odd thing was that I NEVER played games around her. It is what I did when she wasnt there.

      As far as some dude actually turning down sex for games. Well, there is always the option that she is a total nag. Some dudes have a woman that is not pleasant to be around.

    • Darkwonders says:

      I still dont understand why you cant have both? There is adequate time in the day to enjoy both!

    • NubWithATub says:

      I was gonna read your article but then instead I f***ed my gf for 2 hours so What was I saying??? ;)

    • I choose both. Work on your multi-tasking ppl! I can knock a few out of the park as it were with my lady, while playing God of War (which itself has extra nudityadding a lil kink to the whole affair), and drinking an Ice Cappacuni.

      Your lady will be impressed with your skillz if she is also a gamer. Heck, maybe kick it to the next level and play some split-screen while doin da nasty!

      Of course, just like RL, I dont recommend playing driving games while getting it on. Oh yesoh yesoh muck we are gonna crash!

    • Lord_Sloth says:

      Dude, seriously, having a hobby aside from sex isnt a bad thing at all.

      • Esmeralda says:

        That must mean the sex youre getting isnt good Kidding! Having something to do on the off time is fine, but when youre picking a virtual reality over the real thing constantly, theres a problem.

    • ChiefGokuC says:

      This is great but this requires a more in depth look at what makes video games appealing. Video games are useful for doing things that we would never do in real life. For example, take Oblivion or Fallout, Id seriously doubt that anyone in the world will ever have to go on midevil quests or survive through a nuclear fallout-unless youre into larping, but thatd just be dumb! What Im trying to get at is that if you can realistically and practically accomplish something in real life that you can do in a video game, the game is no longer fun becuase you could actually be out doing the real life version, at least that is what I think (which is why I have no clue about peoples fasination with the Sims, its beyond me). Bottom line, no experience that can be given in a game-so far- can equal sex or developing a relationship with that special someone, so for now real life wins.

    • CayennSG says:

      If I was a game developer I would make some pretty intresting games with the kinect :D I can think of some intresting achivements too

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