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July 10, 2010

BP: "Two Pipes? That's Impossible!"

[Mrs. R.]

As Operation Uncap & Recap gets underway this weekend in the Gulf, an interesting piece of information has recently come to light.

First, some background:

One of the problems in successfully capping the well way-back-when occurred on June 2nd. In order for the cap to form an effective seal, the riser pipe of the main well needed to be cut cleanly across. The better the cut, the better the seal.

Unfortunately, the saw used to cut the riser pipe became stuck in the casing. Subsequently, giant shears were used to make the cut, resulting in a more jagged, uneven edge, requiring a looser fitting cap that failed to form an adequate seal.

Nevertheless, these efforts were described by Admiral Thad Allen as "another positive development".

In Admiral Allen's press briefing on Friday, as he summarized plans to recap the well by the middle of next week, he revisited the problems BP engineers had encountered on June 2nd ...

"...let me take you through the sequence. It is complicated. First of all, we have a cap over the well head right now and the reason there’s a loose cap with a rubber seal on the bottom is we weren’t able to get a clean cut when we cut the riser pipe. We used a diamond wire saw and we got inside. We found out there was actually two sets of drill pipe there. And trying to use that diamond wire saw to cut against it—if you’ve ever tried to saw a limb or a piece of wood where you couldn’t hold it and it could move—you can’t get any traction, it doesn’t cut. So then we stopped.

"We then used the big, hydraulic shears which were a very imperfect cut but we did cut it. So it was cut at an angle and we had this jagged cut...

"...we will completely remove that cut off stub of riser pipe and just deal with what we got. What you’ll have then is an open pipe with a phalange (flange) and two pieces of pipe sticking up—the drill pipe and the piece of pipe that presumably fell down beside it as a result of the explosion and the riser pipe being bent over.

"At that point there will be a metal strap put around both of those pipes to make them closer together so it’s easier to put something over the top of them. At that point, they’re going to put a cylindrical device over the top of the two pipes that are banded together."
 

Of particular interest in this briefing is the repeated reference to not one, but two drill pipes, side by side, inside the wreckage of the well's blowout preventer, and the implication that a second freestanding pipe may have contributed to the failure of the initial cut.

A troubling acknowledgment considering that in late May, when scientists from the Department of Energy detected the presence of two pipes in the well's main riser, BP dismissed the Energy findings as "impossible" because only one pipe in sections was used for drilling.

Troubling because it appears someone up the chain of command deferred to BP's assessment that two pipes were "impossible", over evidence (presented by the DOE) to the contrary. 

Why anyone is still deferring to BP's assessment of anything is more than a mystery, it's a shame.

July 09, 2010

The Magic 20 Billion-Dollar Escrow Trick

[Mrs. R.]

We the people are so easily distracted these days.

Dangle a $20,000,000,000 price tag in front of us and we're immediately entranced -much the same way Stains the Dog is when presented a tray of cupcakes.

Go ahead, pull down our pants and paint big blue polka dots on our butts. No one's going to notice. Our minds are focused, like lasers, on all those zeroes; for different reasons, of course, none of which address the actual value of merchandise inside the box.

What box?

You know, the one that's labeled "Private & Confidential"...The one containing that escrow deal President Obama struck with BP behind closed doors.

You'd think there'd be more interest in the details of this agreement, especially the ones written in fine print.

These details, after all, could be of some import with respect to everything happening/not happening in the Gulf of Mexico right now.

Doesn't anyone remember the uproar over Dick Cheney conducting "secret" meetings with oil company executives when he was vice president?

And he's still catching grief for those meetings.

Former Vice President and one-time Halliburton CEO Dick Cheney should be called to testify about the gulf oil spill, according to Chris Matthews.

Matthews argues that because Cheney held secret meetings with big oil to develop the Bush administration's energy policy, it's impossible to know who was responsible for the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

So where's the outrage over the current administration's secret dealings with big oil?

Now we have the president of the United States brokering backroom agreements with the oil company responsible for the drilling disaster and no one, not even the press, is demanding full disclosure.

Unless the press and public consider this White House release of agreement "details" full disclosure.

Apparently they do.

More polka dots, please...

July 08, 2010

Did President Obama Escrow Himself Out of a Job?

[Mrs. R.]

And other frequently unanswered questions concerning the gushing oil pit once known as the Gulf of Mexico.

Like...

  1. Where is the federal government when we really need it?

  2. Why is BP still running this show, still calling all the shots?

  3. Who died and made BP God?

  4. Why are our elected officials taking orders from BP, instead of the other way around?

  5. If the Obama administration won't step up and take charge of this unholy mess, or isn't up to the task, why not let one of BP's competitors man the helm?

  6. What happened to all that "yes we can" stuff?

  7. Wait a minute...Does that $20B escrow account have anything to do with all these unanswered questions?

  8. Does this agreement, in effect, grant BP exclusive rights over Contain, Capture & Clean Up operations in the Gulf?

  9. Has this agreement been made public?

  10. If no, why not? (Somebody should really look into this).

  11. Where is the press when you really need it?

  12. What's the big secret? (It's not like the public is a disinterested party).

  13. Any chance this this escrow agreement contains some kind of escape clause for BP?

  14. If such a clause exists, does it go something like this...

    "Should any entity, governmental or private sector, blah-blah-blah, interfere with, or seize control of, any aspect of BP's Contain, Capture & Clean Up operations, blah-blah-blah, said entity automatically assumes all responsibility for these operations, blah-blah-blah, and thereby absolves BP of all liabilities, criminal and financial, stipulated in this agreement, blah-blah-blah..."?

  15. Wouldn't that be something?

  16. And wouldn't such a clause, if it existed:
    Deter the president and/or congress from taking any action that might invalidate the agreement, regardless of how badly such action was needed?

    Provide BP an powerful incentive to fail miserably, thereby forcing the government to intervene after all hell has broken lose (which would, in turn, nullify the escrow agreement - and, quite possibly, a number of other liability claims)?
  17. Did President Obama really sign away the farm for a few, fleeting moments of politically-expedient glory?

Then he owes these guys a big thanks.

Related links...

Former Shell CEO/president John Hofmeister (on Chris Matthews' Hardball 7/6/10) assesses the chances of BP's two relief wells meeting expectations...

MATTHEWS: And the assumption is that the pipe down there, that the well is solid enough if you jam it at that point where they intersect - we're looking at it right now -- the relief well intersects the initial well. If the well is solid enough at the base down there it will hold, right? That's the assumption. If it won't blow apart down there, below that line.

HOFMEISTER: That's the assumption and that's why I'm not giving a very -- I mean, I've given it -- I hope a 50/50 chance at least. But there has to be something for the cement to hold onto. And if the casing has been destroyed, if the outside of the casing is actually a channel of flowing oil, then they're really in bad shape. And I don't know how they get enough cement pressure unto it to make it stick.

If a former oil executive is saying the relief wells have 50/50 chance of success, a more objective assessment would probably be closer to 30/70.

And considering BP's track record over the last two-and-a-half months, a 10/90 chance of success might be overly optimistic.

The Kudlow Report (7/6/10)...

Making the rounds, John Hofmeister tells Larry Kudlow that government response to the Gulf drilling disaster would have been more hands-on, proactive, had it occurred off the coast of California.

Anyone doubt that?


(Advance to 4:35 on the video for this exchange...)

July 01, 2010

Gulf Disaster: Eleven Weeks in and No Leadership (from Left or Right) in Sight...

[Mrs. R.]

Which sparked this debate, currently in progress...

 

 

 

 

Continue...

June 14, 2010

Oilboarding, Chicago-Style

[Mrs. R.]
Have the horrors unfolding in the Gulf of Mexico brought you to your knees, praying that someone would do something, and soon?

Yes. I've been praying since week one that anyone, everyone, with the means to mitigate this unholy disaster would get off their asses - especially the president and those blowhards in Congress.

So, at this point, you'd eagerly support a moratorium on domestic oil/natural gas exploration, and tougher regulations on big oil? And, you're more likely now than you were, say, three or four weeks ago to support a token, trillion-dollar Gulf bailout laden with pork, and a big win for Democrats in November?

I didn't say that. But you know what I would support? Less gum-flapping and more oil-skimming. Lots more oil-skimming.

Given eight weeks and the considerable powers/resources at President Obama's disposal, I'm guessing that Miley Cyrus could have organized a more effective Contain, Capture & Cleanup operation than he has thusfar. So, until I see more urgency, less partying, from President Obama, I'm afraid I can't muster up much faith in his policies or spending sprees.

I'll take that as a 'no'...

Sorry 'bout that.

Well then...perhaps another eight weeks watching vast graveyards of uncontained oil spreading across the gulf, suffocating wildlife, destroying wetlands, and crippling local economies, will change your mind.

Hey, what is this, some kind of a shakedown?

I'm just sayin'....It could happen.

What the hell is wrong with you?!

(The method to this madness to be continued...)

August 23, 2009

Breaking News from the Land of the Last to Know

[Mrs. R.]


This just in...CNN can now confirm that prior to becoming president of the United States, Barack Obama had no...I repeat...no leadership experience whatsoever.



Not even a little.



Now let's go to our panelists for their reactions to this developing story...

Continue...

July 02, 2009

For the Record

[Mrs. R.]

Not that it matters much, since WuzzaDem has stopped blogging, but...

The tool on Twitter calling himself "WuzzaDem" is some tool on Twitter who is NOT WuzzaDem.

UPDATE FROM JOHN:

I'm not "tweeting" (that is what it's called, right? At least I haven't much, or for a long time...whatever), but this is me.

This person is not.

March 03, 2009

Exclusive: Copy of Obama's New Cabinet Nominee Questionnaire Leaked

[John]

***Exclusive: Must credit WuzzaDem***

Questionnaire

  1. Please provide copies of all resumes and biographical statements issued by you or any other entity at your discretion or with you consent within the past ten years.

  2.  Has a tax lien or other collection procedure ever been instituted against you or your spouse by federal, state or local authorities? If so, describe the circumstances and the resolution of the matter.

  3. If you or your spouse has ever lived or worked abroad, please describe the circumstances.

  4. Hey, about that tax thing – you do know that we’re asking about ANY liens or back taxes, right?

  5. Briefly describe the most controversial matter you have been involved with in the course of your career.

  6. Not to harp on this, but, seriously, if you have ANY outstanding taxes, please tell us. We’re getting killed, here.

  7. Please provide the names, addresses, and telephone numbers of three professional references. Also, think really hard about that tax question again, because there are a few dipshits out there that who really screwing things up for us.

  8. What’s so f*#king hard about that question, anyway? You either owe back taxes or you don’t.

  9. Seriously, if it turns out you DO owe back taxes (or for that matter, if your gardener, nanny, dog-walker, or anyone else turns out to have problems with their immigration status), and you lie to me it’s your ASS.

  10. I’m not kidding. I know some people that would be only too happy to drag you out of your house and put a serious hurt on you.

  11. Ever had your eyelashes pulled out with pliers? Me neither, but I’m sure it’s painful. BACK TAXES, A-HOLE – DO YOU OWE ANY?

  12. Hey, here’s an idea – how about you also tell us if you’re…oh, I don’t know…BEING INVESTIGATED by federal authorities? Some people don’t get that.

  13. You DO owe back taxes, don’t you? I KNEW IT! Mother f*&ker!!! What? Oh, you don’t? Sorry, my bad.

  14. Wait a second – I’m not falling for this again. If you were chosen to be a part of this administration then there’s at least a 50% chance you’ve been ducking SOME kind of taxes, have some immigration problem, you’ve knocked up a friend’s daughter (wait – no, that’s CNN I’m thinking of – OK, so forget that part), so come clean already.

  15. You know what, whatever position you were being considered for, I’m sure I can do it myself, so let’s just forget it. Besides, you probably owe back taxes anyway.

November 04, 2008

Congratulations To Everyone Who Helped Make This Happen...

[John]

...and I do mean everyone.


Laura_ingraham

 



Ann_coulter

 



Rush_limbaugh

October 27, 2008

Getting Gary Busey Away From That Kid Would Probably Be A Good Start

[John]

Seriously. He looks like he might break something.

Gary_busey
(Actual ad from the sidebar of another blog)

October 26, 2008

Nine Days Before The Election, An Undecided Voter Stops By The Local Starbucks

[John]

Welcome to Starbucks, can I help you?

 

 

Joe Biden
Yes, my name is Jim. Jim the...uhhh...candlestick maker.

 

 


OK.

 

 

Joe Biden
Yes, that's my name - Jim the candlestick maker. Small businessman, registered independent, and undecided voter.

 

 


That's very interesting - can I get you something?

 

 

Joe Biden
Certainly, but first, by way of casual conversation, just let me say that I believe my taxes will be much lower under an Obama administration than they would if John McCain were elected.

 

 


Well, you're entitled to your opinion.

 

 

Joe Biden
That's why I'll be voting for Obama.

 

 


I thought you were undecided.

 

 

Joe Biden
Well, I just decided.

 

 


Good for you - now what can I....

 

 

Joe Biden
I also believe that, should Obama be elected, a disaster of unprecedented magnitude will befall this country.

 

 


Really?

 

 

Joe Biden
Absolutely. If Obama wins, then within six months, businesses all across the country will fail, families will be destroyed, heads will explode, eyeballs will bleed, and groins will be hit with whiffle bats.

 

 


I'm sorry, did you say 'groins will be hit with whiffle bats'?

 

 

Joe Biden
Ever been hit in the groin with a whiffle bat?

 

 


No, I haven't.

 

 

Joe Biden
Take my word for it - it hurts like hell. Anyway, that's another reason I'll be voting for Obama.

 

 


You're voting for Obama because a terrible catastrophe will happen if he's elected?

 

 

Joe Biden
Well, at least it'll be a change from the last eight years.

 

 


No offense, but that doesn't really make sense.

 

 

Joe Biden
Maybe I was just employing a bit of rhetorical flourish.

 

 


That sounded pretty specific to me.

 

 

Joe Biden
You big corporate executives are just so isolated that you don't understand how us regular Americans think.

 

 


I'm not an executive, I just work at this franchise.

 

 

Joe Biden
What's a franchise?

 

 


Well, this is just one of the Starbucks locations around the...

 

 

Joe Biden
You mean there's more than one of these places?

 

 


Yeah, there are...

 

 

Joe Biden
Holy crap, I can see at least five people here, how big do you need to be???

 

 


There are actually eight full-time employees at this location.

 

 

Joe Biden
Talk about your Wall Street greed! Well, this unchecked thirst for profits at the expense of the folks on Main Street will come to end end when Barack Obama is president!

 

 


Whatever - look I really need to take your order.

 

 

Joe Biden
OK, just give me a regular cup of coffee, the way they make it in Scranton.

 

 


I don't know how they make coffee in...

 

 


Racist!

 

 

Joe Biden
Scranton's in eastern Pennsylvania, you moron!

 

 


Who is that? And why is he calling you a racist?

 

 

Joe Biden
Just ignore him.

 

 

Joe Biden
But be sure to vote for him.

 

 


Sorry, I already voted.

 

 

Joe Biden
Well, there's no law that says you can't vote more than once.

 

 


Actually, there is.

 

 

Joe Biden
I think you're mistaken.

 

 


No, it's definitely against the law to vote more than once.

 

 

Joe Biden
Well, Barack Obama will put an end to that outdated law.

 

 


I'm sure he will - here's your coffee, that'll be $2.79.

 

 

Joe Biden
Two dollars and seventy-nine cents?? Whatever happened to the five-cent cup of coffee?

 

 


Coffee hasn't been five cents a cup for like thirty years, now if you don't mind...

 

 

Joe Biden
Well, when Barack...

 

 


I know, I know - when Barack Obama is president coffee will be five cents again! Look, just take the coffee, it's on the house.

 

 

Joe Biden
Thanks. And remember, vote McCain/Palin!

 

 


Don't you mean Obama/Biden?

 

 

Joe Biden
Whatever.

 

 


Hey boss?

 

 


Yeah?

 

 


I've got nine vacation days coming, can I take them now?

 

 


Sure, go ahead.

 

 


I think I'll just hibernate.

April 14, 2008

This Is An Archive Site

[John]
Nowanarchive

WuzzaBlog, ain't no more.


January 22, 2008

Fred Tompson Drops Out Of The Race By The Local Starbucks

[John]

Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Yeah, I, um...uh...uh...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
That is to say, I...uh...

 

 


...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Uh...uh...

 

 


Did you want to order something, sir?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
What the hell does it look like I'm doing right now?

 

 


Sorry - go ahead.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
You know, if John Wayne was here I'd have him kick your ass.

 

 


John who?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Oh, I get it - you're one of those Chuck Norris fans.

 

 


Chuck who?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Never mind. Now you broke my concentration, so I'm gonna have to start over.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
So...uh...uh...I, um...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
You do serve coffee here, don't you?

 

 


Yes. Yes, we do.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Good, good. I got me a hankerin' for some coffee right now. I'm a little...uh...err...

 

 


Tired?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Yeah, that's it - tired.

 

 


Do you know what kind of coffee you want?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Now that I do know.

 

 


Excellent.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
I'll have the uh...uh...the, uh...

 

 


...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
I mean, the uh...uh...the, uh...

 

 


Sir...

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
No, don't tell me - I don't need help.

 

 


I wasn't going to help you. I was going to tell you that you're going to have to get out of line if you don't order something now.

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Well if that's how you're gonna act then just forget it. I'll just...uh...uh...

 

 


Leave?

 

 

Fred_uh_err_thompson
Right - I'll leave. Bye.

 

 


Goodbye, sir.

 

 


...

 

 


Too bad. Something tells me he would have been my best customer evah.

 

UPDATE: Werd.

UPDATE II: He wanted tea?

 

December 21, 2007

Merry Christmas From Mac and PC

[John]

Hi, I'm a Mac.

 

 


And I'm a PC.

 

 


And I just want to wish everyone a merry Christmas.

 

 


So do I.

 

 


Wait a second - what do you mean, "So do I"?

 

 


What? It's Christmas.

 

 


I know, but don't you usually contradict me or insult me?

 

 


Actually, I usually just stand here and let people admire me for being so hip and cool and laid-back - you know, because I'm a Mac - and wait for you to say something that embarrasses PC users. Because, you know, they don't have Macs. But, in the spirit of Christmas, I think we should just wish everyone well.

 

 


That's what I call holiday spirit. Anyway, Merry Christmas from both of us.

 

 


And remember, everyone - Vista blows.

 

 


It certainly does.

 

 


Why didn't I just stay home?

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the WuzzaDems!

December 11, 2007

Ever The Gentleman, Mike Huckabee Uses His Own Press Conference To Take The Heat Off Of Dana Perino

[John]
Mike_huckabee_is_lost
Of course I know who he is - he's the guy they made that motorcycle movie about.

 

 

Mike_huckabee_is_lost
Come on, I'm not stupid, people - I was the governor of Alabama for ten years.

 

 

Huckabee_reporter
Weren't you the governor of Arkansas?

 

 

Mike_huckabee_is_lost
Whatever.

 

Indeed.

November 29, 2007

Anderson Cooper: "My biggest concern personally was having the campaigns manipulate the process."

[John]

Um.....yeah, OK. Here's a video clip of an interview with Cooper after the CNN/YouTube Democrat debate back in July of this year:

Yeah, that's the problem - the campaigns manipulating the process.

November 28, 2007

Scenes From The CNN/YouTube Republican Debate (Part I)

[John]
Anderson_cooper
Our next question is for Fred Thompson. It concerns homeland security, and was submitted by William from New York.

 

 

Fred_thompson_youtube
Good, because I have a lot to say about homeland security.

 

 

Bill_clinton_youtube
Senator Thompson, given the recent reports of threats made against the spouses of presidential candidates, don't you think it would be safer for your wife to stay at home when you're on the road?

 

 

Fred_thompson_youtube
What reports of threats? What the hell kind of question is that???

 

 

Bill_clinton_youtube
Just askin'.

UPDATE: They really should spruce up the stage with some plants.

 


November 12, 2007

Rep. Carla Blanchard Dartez (Dipshit-LA) Needs To Work On Her Valedictions

[John]
Carla_blanchard_dartez
Don't let your meat loaf!

 

 

Meatloaf
What the hell's that supposed to mean?

 

"Una panona bonka"
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