He’s tubby, greedy and unimaginative. Should I stay?

Bossy is right,

just end it, if he doesnt tickle your ### bone then theres no real reason to stay.

academically its all common sense, but i understand that with affairs of the heart its never so cut and dry.

you need to be true to yourself, if you want something different, you need to pursue it.

So, Nick is a “lovely” guy, but everything else about him repulses you from his mystical pregnancy to his table manners to his method of courting you (simply copying whatever his friends do for their girlfriends/wives)?

It’s pretty obvious that you should marry him and then working on nagging away all those things that you don’t like about him. With enough time and nagging, I’m sure he’ll be thin and fit again, sponteneously romantic and will be able to dine at the finest of establishments with ease (and without licking his knife). If you nag him enough, he’ll probably even cure cancer and bring about world peace!

Or you could do the sane thing and tell him that it’s not working and that you both need to go your separate ways. If you’re worried about his reaction, then break-up with him in a “public” place, but make sure you do it in person (not over the phone or by text or email or by updating your Facebook status).

Good luck.

Of course he cares about you and you should stay.  After all, he’s rooting you isn’t he?

So what if he gains a few kg around the girth.  Plenty of women do that too, and blokes aren’t allowed to say a word about that.

Or, as Bette Midler said in “The Rose” you could simply say;

FUCK THIS SHIT!

NEXT!

8 months and he’s already annoying the crap out of you? Get outta there before you get pregnant and have to be tied to him forever.

So you’re hot and you don’t mind dating lazy and greedy guys?

What’s your number?

I have little time for fat lazy people OP whether they are women or men so I can understand that. Fat people belong with fat people, loser with losers, fags with fags, you get my drift. I have to go to hospital and I feel sick not because of my operation, but because I can’t run, surf, or whatever for two whole weeks. Couch potatoism sucks hard. I feel dystrophic already.

People recycle other peoples jokes, names and claim them as their own all the time. Its the australian way.

So I disagree with bossy. Don’t break up. Just get pregnant with him and then have an affair with one of his mates. Then he’ll start listening (or he might just flip out and hit you). Take the power back OP. Don’t be a victim. That’s what I’ll teach my daughters anyway.

hope this helps

You don’t know what to do? It seems frikkin obvious - break up with the guy you don’t even seem to like let alone love. Why would you stay when he annoys you this much after only 8 months.

You’re worried about not finding a ‘nice guy’? Well, try being a ‘nice’ girl and quit being so whingy. Geez, complaining about lack of originality in pet names really makes it sound like you’re doing a work performance appraisal on your partner.

Fair enough, you don’t make a good match. Leave it that, break up with the guy and move on. Don’t pick him apart.

Agree with Bossy .. although without the harsh judgement re the “you think maybe this is the best you will ever do in love”.

In your gut, you know it’s not working but you’re trying to apply logic and come up with examples that, if he fixed them, things would be fine .. or coming up with excuses of why you should stay.  Don’t.  I felt the same way about my now ex husband and finally ending it was THE BEST thing I’ve done.  Trust your gut.  Commit to your decision and keep reminding yourself that what you have to do to wrap it all us is JUST A PROCESS.  That helped me remove a lot of the emotion from it, particularly since he was emotional, naturally.

Stay strong.  Believe me, when it’s over you’ll breathe a sign of relief.  You deserve someone who’s totally into you (we all do) and it’s not your responsibility to forego that just because he has the ability to be a nice guy.  All the best!

I’d dump you. You sound whiney and a nagger.

Also I don’t like people that don’t know the difference between “there” and “their”.

Men aren’t perfect. No matter who you date, or whoever you marry, they are going to have flaws that stick out like sore thumbs. You will feel this is a reflection on you, who you are, and how much they love you (if he loves me, he wouldnt be fat).

Women are generally irrational creatures. We demand perfection, but in doing so are imperfect creatures ourselves. He was perfect in the beginning for you, until the sands of time wore down those rose coloured glasses. Fact is, he’s always been this way, you just chose to continue to fall for him in spite of it/ignore it.

Now you ‘suddenly’ realise he’s got all these flaws. How horrible. How can you continue to date this man? What kind of woman would that make you?

....

You need to get a grip. Either you’re in or you’re out. Take him, flaws and all - or do the man a favour and leave him to find someone who will accept him.

Oddly enough, I have found men far more forgiving of flaws than women. Women have this idea of prince charming beaten into their little minds as children… whereas men seem to love her and her crazy ways anyway. Heaven knows my husband still loves me, and I’m a lunatic! Speaking of which… time to go water my plastic plants…

What are you staying for - a wedding to a fat bloke, bad wedding photos and a divorce shortly thereafter?

Save yourself the time FFS and pull the pin!

Poor Nick! You complain that the nice things he does for you are carbon copies of his mates ideas - that’s not a crime, at least he has the intent right even if he suffers from a lack of imagination. I am sure that in time as you get to know each other better, his attempts would become more personal. But hey, “don’t expect him to change for you"… except for the things you want him to change, of course.

You are being a bitch!

Bossy is right, you and ‘Nick’ are not suited...if pretty much everything about him eerks you- leave the poor guy alone!

Hopefully he will find someone who finds his manly indiscretions (bad table manners etc) disgusting but down right amusing. They can have a laugh together.

Hopefully he will find a girl who recognises that he his hopeless in love, so he takes his lead (ideas on romance etc) from his mates who are IN SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS.

Please do not try to make yourself that girl...you would only be faking it out of desperation.

He deserves to feel loved not criticized. You also deserve to feel loved, I wish you all the best...but an attitude realignment before heading on the prowl certainly couldn’t hurt!

Dump him and don’t look back. It will be good for both of you.

OP,
There is nothing wrong with feeling unattracted to fat people.  I refuse to go out with fat women. I keep myself in shape, so why should I go out with a tubby??
Don’t pay any attention if people call you shallow or self absorbed.
You just know what you like and don’t like.
Years ago I started seeing a woman who was voluptuous.  Within four months she’d piled on 12 kilograms and was fat.  Nothing I could do changed her outlook.
‘Love me for who I am, not what I look like,’ she kept saying.
Fat freaking chance. 
Ever since then I’ve only had sex with one fat woman, and that was for charity…
OP - find someone you’re attracted to.  It makes a huge difference.

This must be the three horse OP for the day. Anyways, dump him and move on, you wont change him now the honeymoon sex period is over.

Yeah, I wouldn’t want a bloke using pet names for me in front of his mates either.  I have a proper name, just call me that.

“I’m not expecting him to change, but...”

See, OP, see that ‘but’?  What that ‘but’ does is just invalidate everything you say before it.  That ‘but’ is used when you don’t believe a word of the statement preceding it.  You have an idea of what you want in a relationship, and he doesn’t fit the cast.

Don’t be afraid of breaking up with him.  He can be angry and crazy and cry and whatever else, it’s not your problem.  The intial “I want to break up because I no longer have feelings for you” conversation shouldn’t take long.  Don’t be suckered into having a big talk and a list of reasons, otherwise you’ll be there all day.

Like Jerry Seinfeld said - like a band aid - right off!!

I read the following:-

“Im not expecting him to change for me”
“Should I stick around longer and see if things will change”

That’s the same thing.

Even if he rectified the table manners and selection of activities for you to do together a couple, which you also hate, you would find something else wrong with him to cover up the fact you just aren’t attracted or interested in this guy.

You want a validation that the way you feel about him, or the way you don’t feel about him, is HIS fault.

One womans trash is another womans treasure. Let him go and find someone who doesn’t mind him licking his knife.

Some women would be stoked that their partner took them out places. You just whinge that he is copying ideas from other people… why? because his friends said it was a great thing to do and he thought you would be interested to try it as well! Shame on him! How date he get ideas from his mates about things to do with his girlfriend! The NERVE!!!

I like it how she says “I’m not expecting him to change for me, but......”