Been there, done that.

That seems to be the early critical reaction to the latest Woody Allen movie, "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger," which premiered Saturday at the Cannes Film Festival.

The French festival has always been fond of showcasing films from auteur directors, but the reviewers of Allen's latest effort seem to have had their fill of the idiosyncratic New York filmmaker.  Sony Pictures Classics will release "Dark Stranger" on Sept. 23, and if it's to do much business, the notices better improve.

Here's a sampling from Cannes:

Michael Phillips, The Chicago Tribune: "I wish I liked the new Woody Allen film better, especially in light of his previous Cannes-launched picture 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' (his most satisfying in years). This one's a doodle.. a picture less seriocomic or bittersweet than simply uncertain of its comic and dramatic effects."

Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly: "The film is notable, if that’s the word, for being the first movie Allen has made in London that is every bit as bad as his most awful New York comedies, like 'Anything Else' and 'Melinda and Melinda.' There should, by now, be an award for worst actor forced to impersonate Woody Allen in a Woody Allen film. I would probably give the award to Kenneth Branagh in 'Celebrity' (with Scarlett Johansson as a close runner-up in Scoop). But if Josh Brolin, in 'You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger,' doesn’t quite enter the make-it-stop stratosphere of whiny fumbly stuttering embarrassment, he’s still got to be the least likely actor ever to play a faux-Woody neurotic intellectual."

Justin Chang, Variety: "By now it's clear Woody Allen doesn't much believe in God, destiny or the notion that life has any larger meaning, a message he tubthumps to increasingly feeble and unpersuasive effect in 'You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger.' Fitfully amusing and nearly saved by its distinguished cast, this London-set ensembler is another of Allen's patented ironic ruminations on marital angst, vocational discontent and the overall pointlessness of human existence, so why not sit back and laugh at the futility of it all?"

But Allen's last few stints at Cannes have been air kisses to other European hot spots, including Barcelona ("Vicky Cristina Barcelona") and London ("Match Point.") And with "Stranger" again shot in the land of fish 'n' chips, it probably doesn't hurt Woody to remind the French audience about to judge his new effort that he'll sometimes have Paris, too.

-- Steven Zeitchik

Photo: Woody Allen riffing on the clarinet. Credit: Britta Pedersen / EPA

Woody Allen has released at least one movie each year since 1982 -- a remarkable achievement, the filmic equivalent of Joe DiMaggio's hitting streak and Lou Gehrig's consecutive-games streak combined. (We'll count Allen's "Cassandra's Dream" as a 2007 picture -- it hit all the festivals that year and was to come out then before the Weinstein Co. pushed the release a few weeks back into 2008).

This year, Allen, closing in on 75, will continue his Iron Man performance. His "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger" will be released in the fall, having now been acquired by Sony Pictures Classics, as the company announced this morning.

Of course, working that diligently or quickly isn't always synonymous with quality (just ask Clint Eastwood). Not all of the Allen movies have been masterpieces; in fact, sometimes, he seems to alternate between good movies and questionable ones. The messy "Scoop" followed "Match Point"; "Whatever Works" came after "Vicky Cristina Barcelona." (Which should augur good things for "Stranger," the London-shot film starring Naomi Watts, Freida Pinto and Josh Brolin).

But in an era when directors dither, financiers futz and pre-production can last longer than entire geologic eras, it's encouraging to see filmmakers still crank them out.

-- Steven Zeitchik

Photo: Woody Allen. Credit: Liz O. Baylen / Los Angeles Times