I've got one. When you take money off of the table, don't ask me if I want change; just bring me the change. I will always tell the server if the tip is included, but I hate

I am not a big eater - so if the plate is still half full & I am done, just ask me if I want it to go and leave me alone...No comments like "Well you didn't eat very much did you!" You are NOT my mother!

Joel good start. Some of this can be summed up in : Know clearly what your job is. Do your job. Over deliver when appropriate.

The one I will add to your list is Don't make me wait for you to bring the check or to bring me change.

My final note of encouragement would be take pride in yourself and your work. I really don't care if you hate the place you work for, don't tell me. Present yourself professionally and act professionally.

Okay, I was a waitress and bartender for years (many years ago) and I like good service as well as the rest of you but you are all way too hard with your comments. Unless you are treated poorly, rudely or ignored, give them a break! For the person who does NOT want to be talked to there is someone else who is dying to have someone to interact with and comes in and actually ASKS for you as a server because you take the time to get to know them. A good server will know the difference once they have made contact. But by and large, they work hard and most of them want to do a good job, so sometimes you may have to (nicely) tell them what you want and if you don;t get it, don't eat there..

Hi, Joe!!

In this one I have a different opinion from yours.
Here in Puerto Rico people are extremely friendly and insead being annoyed for the services we really enjoy it.

As a matter of fact if they don't treat you properly with the familiar services that is a place not to go again.

I understand that you can feel sometimes not in your best mood but that does not allow you to treat a service person as if they are bothering you just because they are trying to please you.

so I invite you to come to Puerto Rico( The Island of Enchantment) and feel what a great familiar service is.

Thanks

You must be from the North. I see nothing wrong with a waiter/waitress being pleasant and cordial ... acting like a normal human being. btw: I am from the North also, but I appreciate a pleasant/personable waiter/waitress as opposed to a servant who is seen and not heard.

The experience is different for everyone. I was actually the Marketing Director for Applebee's International years ago, and had to spend time waiting tables and learning the "ropes" to know what was happening on the floor. The major chains (Applebee's, Chilies, etc... have all done a lot of testing to find out how to have the wait staff great and treat the public. And I can tell you first hand that there are a lot more people out there that like the exact opposite of what you like. In fact, the waiters are more likely to get a bigger tip if they (the waiters) do all the things that you personally dislike. Most people really crave a bit personal attention and a sense of belonging. They want to feel important and liked. Have you ever noticed how some people enjoy talking to the waiter more than they enjoy talking to each other?!!!

I am very thankful that I have a fantastic career, and I don't have to "work tables" for a living. I'm sure there are days when they can't make anyone happy. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. I think I'll leave a mega tip next time I'm out to eat!

There are several important points here and in the comments about good service, some that I think many servers are never taught or never learn. But clearly, you have never been a restaurant server. While you personally may find it annoying, a quick check after the food is served (often called a "two-bite check") it is generally par for the course. You shouldn't have to flag down your server if there is something immediately wrong with your meal, or if you have decided that you'd like some type of sauce or addition....and you sit there waiting while everyone else is eating because your server did not stop by within a few minutes time. I know more than a few people who will ding this as bad service and reduce the tip.

Also, empty plates can sometimes present a quandary when the plate has not been obviously pushed to the side or has a napkin thrown in it or some other kind of clear signal. Any experienced server will tell you that people have widely varying definitions of "empty." Seriously - a woman once FORKED my hand because I tried to quietly take a plate which had nothing left but sauce remnants. It seemed obvious to me that the only other thing she had left to do was lick the plate clean...but it pissed her off that I tried to take it away without asking. That's an extreme example of a horrible person, of course, but sometimes it may be wiser to quickly and quietly ask (or gesture, make eye contact, etc.) when a plate is still sitting right in front of a person.

I also find it annoying when servers, or anyone for that matter, speaks in the "WE" manner. It just seems so, so...awkward. However, this seems such an arrogant and elitist thing to say: "You are there to serve me and my guests. You are not part of my group." Goes along well with "If I wanted to have dinner with you I'd invite you to sit down" or being irritated that someone might be friendly enough to ask you where you're from or try to converse with you at all. My, aren't YOU being rude? Yes, servers are there to serve and no, they are not a part of your dining party. But they are not servants nor lesser human beings - being a restaurant patron shouldn't give you a free license to talk down to anyone. So let me be the first to say it: when I was serving, my pet peeve was customers like you.

Lots of negatives here. How about we focus on what we do like.

The biggest thing with me is the waiter or waitress coming around every two minutes asking how everything is (I usually have a mouthful of food) and then, at the end, I'm waiting and waiting and waiting for the check so I can pay and leave, the waiter or waitress is nowhere to be found.

"How is everything?" is kind of a rhetorical question. If it's really horrible, I'll let the waiter or waitress know. if it's OK and I'm at a chain, I'll eat it. I'm not picky.

Finally, I relate to the comment from Patti. Everyone is different and sometimes I'm in a chatty mood and sometimes I'm not. Test the waters, if the customer wants to be left alone, be invisible. If they want you to be their friend, that's another story.

My husband thinks he has to know the waiter
every where we go. Not me just give great
service and I'm happy.

The guy from Applebee's hit it on the head when he said many people feel the opposite of the way YOU do.

The trick is to adapt to your customers - there is no right way - only the way one person wants to be treated - the trick is to meet the expectations of different customers.

Some people are on a date, immersed in work, or highly elitist - they need to be left alone.

Others are actually human beings and can be talked to, joked with, asked if they need something, etc.

It is my belief that a slave costs quite a bit more than 20%, as does a butler.

Sounds to me that "we" are not amused - that even the queen would be willing to occasionally joke and chat with those peasants forced to wait hand and foot on her every needs.

You simply need to communicate clearly what you are wanting - a grumpy look, a scowl and a gruff growl ought to do the trick - nobody will be touching you, smiling at you, trying to be friendly with you - you can be quietly "served" without anyone even glancing at you - it's actually faster, easier, and requires less effort

Okay, MRS. Joel Comm here, and I have to put my two cents in on this one. :D

Personal preferences aside, we have eaten at a number of fine dining restaurants over the years (not very often -- it's usually a treat when we're out of town!) and fine dining wait staff consistently serve in similar ways.

For example, the wait staff is always professional. They carry themselves well; they make every effort to help you feel welcome; they fill you in on anything you need to know about the menu that night; they take your order; then they basically leave you alone. They will come back after they have given you ample time to test your food to make sure everything is to your liking, but it's not intrusive. They don't interrupt conversations. They are pleasant, but not overly-friendly. They don't touch you. They don't treat you like they're your best friends. Usually those places have other servers that fill water and tea glasses, and no they don't ask. You don't even notice they're at your table. In fact, you don't have to think about your water or tea glass at all unless you add sweetener -- which I don't, so I happen to love that my glass never runs dry. :)

The waiters at these establishments will remain in the area when they're not serving other tables so if you do need anything, they are easily flagged down. Many times they will even take notice if you are looking around and approach to see what you need.

Now I realize that at places like Chili's, where the waiters are hustling like crazy (yes, I bow in awe and respect at their athleticism!), you're not going to get that kind of attentive service. They have to ask when they are in the vicinity; they don't have time to stand around and wait for a good time to approach your table.

I guess my point is that if fine dining establishments have a similar protocol (which happens to be one MR. Joel Comm appreciates!) then it is for good reason. I agree with Joel that most people go out to eat to enjoy a meal they didn't have to cook or clean up after and to have a nice time with family and friends -- not to make new friends of the waiters at Chili's!

For the record, our son worked at a steakhouse this summer, so we know from his experience how hard these waiters work.

Whatever the case, they are serving us, so I too am grateful for their hard work. :)

This is not to say that anyone is right or wrong here. I find it very interesting that people have such opposite likes and dislikes in this area! Just goes to show personal preference is very individual as well. And personal preference, like opinion, is never wrong.

(Glad you finally got this out of your system, Joel!) :D

Mary Comm (a.k.a. Mrs. Joel Comm) ;)

I am from the UK, and when I travel in the USA some restaurant practices really annoy me. However, I know they are common in the USA if not in Europe, so I take a deep breath, smile and make sure I leave a tip :o)

So here's my top 3 differences so those of you from the USA don't get too upset when visiting Europe!

1. In general you have to ask for water in Europe, and mostly it will be bottled water you have to pay for. (I LOVE getting a big glass of water in the USA without asking.)

2. In the UK a waiter never starts clearing plates before everyone is finished. This is seen as very rude, but seems to be common practice in the US. (In an extreme case I was once asked if I wanted dessert while my husband was still eating!)

3. Europeans, in general, like to linger over a meal, and prefer not to get the bill until we ask for it :o)

Oh, and yes our restaurant staff tend to be better paid, but we still appreciate a good tip!

LOVED the time I was with my family and my younger daughter asked, "Is it ok if I get a salad instead of the soup?"

And the waiter said, "No."

"Excuse me," I said in my best marketer's tone, "There's NO way she can get a salad instead of the soup?"

"Well, yehhh.... but it will cost her an extra dollar."

"May I suggest another way to say that?" I asked, not resisting the chance to teach a lesson to the "sales force" of that restaurant. "May I suggest that you say, 'Yes, ma'am, and it will only cost you an extra dollar."

Where are the restaurant managers? Are they really in the back making sure that the sugar packets don't get mixed in with the Splenda? Don't they realize that ALL of their money is made on the "front line" where their waiters are?

Who is instructing these waiters? For that matter... who is instructing the managers?!

Now take that to YOUR business... how many opportunities for sales are you practicing sales PREVENTION?

Charlie Seymour Jr
http://PersonalSuccessMarketing.com

Hmmmm, remind me never to invite you out to dinner with us Joel. My husband and I love talking to the restaurant staff. As a matter of fact, the restaurants we tend to visit over and over again are the ones with our favorite wait staff. When we walk in, we are treated like royalty from the hostess to the owner to the busboys - because we chat with everyone. We get to know them and they get to know us. And at the end of our meal, I may even get up and HUG a few of them! This type of behavior has resulted in us receiving exceptional service, free cocktails, desserts, etc. and on more than one occasion, our wait-person has received 50% tips (because it's HER birthday or He's about to go back to school and could use a few extra bucks). This behavior of ours extends to our dog groomer, our dry cleaner, our favorite store clerk, our cleaning lady, etc. because we love to meet and get to know people wherever we go. The only folks we try desperately to avoid are those with sticks so far up their arses that it's impossible for them to reach out and touch others. Enjoy your quiet meal. We'll be the ones at the other table that are laughing too loud and living life to the fullest. Just my 2¢. . .

P.S. To all of those people that go the extra mile in their jobs to make my day a little brighter - Thank you!

One question: have you ever actually waited tables?