PEE-WEE SAYS HIS PORN WAS LEGAL KITSCH

Friday, January 10th 2003, 7:39AM

Los Angeles prosecutors are taking their beef with Paul (Pee-wee Herman) Reubens to the court of public opinion.

Reubens' rep says the LAPD busted him for owning kitschy vintage pics of bodybuilders that wouldn't shock anyone. But Los Angeles City Attorney's Office rep Matt Littman says Pee-wee had kiddie porn: "[Reubens] is charged with possession of materials depicting children under the age of 18 years engaging in sexual conduct. There are two videotapes; the rest are dozens of illegal images."

Reubens' rep, Kelly Bush, called that "a lie."

"If what you mean by that is the Rob Lowe videotape and a few isolated 30- to 100-year-old kitsch collectible images, then yes, that is the alleged pornography. This is a misdemeanor case that should never have been filed," Bush said Littman admitted he had not seen the images in question.

Superior Court Judge C.H. Rehm has given Reubens' lawyer until Jan. 24 to submit a motion challenging the criminal complaint.

Reubens was arrested as part of a 12-month investigation that also led to charges against actor Jeffrey Jones ("Ferris Bueller's Day Off").

Jones, 56, pleaded not guilty on Wednesday to charges of possessing child porn and hiring a 14-year-old boy to pose for sexually explicit photos.

Carter snub Expo-sé.

Perhaps the Montreal Expos management should send Gary Carter a fruit basket.

Since the great catcher was voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame on Tuesday, he's had a blizzard of congratulations from his former teammates on the 1986 World Series champion Mets and from Mets owner Fred Wilpon.

But Carter told pals he was "disconcerted" because he hadn't heard a word from Expos President Tony Tavares or his minions (who may be relocated to Washington by next year).

Carter will be depicted at Cooperstown in an Expos cap after 11 seasons in Montreal. "I'll always love the fans of Montreal," he told his agent, Mead Chasky, and The Daily News' Bill Madden at Gallagher's on W. 52nd St. "But it's a little weird that nobody from the organization called me."

Carter shouldn't be hurt. Expos spokesman Matt Charbonneau told us, "We had sent Gary a telegram wishing him well the day of his [election]. We didn't call, because we knew he'd be on pins and needles waiting by the phone for the call from the Hall of Fame."

Score that an error on les Expos.

Woods has real zero.

Sen. Hillary Clinton's camp blasted actor James Woods yesterday after he maligned the New York lawmaker this week.

Woods, who plays former Mayor Giuliani in the upcoming cable pic "Rudy," said Wednesday that Giuliani "went to over 200 [9/11] funerals. Senator Clinton went to zero. That's a simple statistic you never read."

No wonder you never read it: It's not true.

Woods' comments were "factually inaccurate and extremely inappropriate," said Clinton's rep, Jennifer Hanley.

Hanley noted that Clinton attended many police and firefighter funerals and gave a eulogy at the service for FDNY chaplain Father Mychal Judge.

Scorpio rising.

Andre Balazs was attacked by a scorpion - a real one, not a competing hotelier.

The elegant adventurer spent New Year's Eve hallucinating after being bitten by an arachnid attacker that entered his tent on safari in Tanzania.

"He was writhing in pain for 24 hours," said Balazs' wife, Katie Ford, owner of Ford Models. "The nearest hospital was four hours away."

"Some people say they prefer being bitten by a mamba snake because at least you know you're going to die," Balazs told us.

'Fat' remark: 'Cheesy.'

Barry Diller apologized on Wednesday for his "stupid and cheesy attempt at humor" in calling his old foe Marvin Davis "fat" at a business luncheon.

But it's said that the trimmed-down oilman has been even more vicious about Diller.

Nikki Finke, who writes the "Deadline Hollywood" column for the L.A. Weekly, tells us that several years ago, Davis and Diller were at the over-the-top bar mitzvah that former CAA head Michael Ovitz threw for his son Christopher.

Davis was standing outside next to Brandon Tartikoff, the late NBC president, as Diller climbed into a gravity-defying ride that flipped him 360 degrees.

Finke says Tartikoff later told her Davis had remarked to him, "Those fags sure have funny ways of having fun."

A spokesman for Davis could not confirm or deny that he made the slur.

Diller's rep declined to comment. The Vivendi Universal co-CEO, though long a bachelor, is now married to designer Diane Von Furstenberg - who just received a $100,000 Dennis Basso sable coat from him for her birthday.

That's our Hitler?

This one ought to keep the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation busy.

A new HBO documentary ponders whether Adolf Hitler was gay. The production is based on "The Hidden Hitler," a widely criticized 2001 biography by historian Lothar Machtan that examined Der Fuhrer's sexuality.

Hitler sent thousands of homosexuals to their deaths during his reign of terror.

"The thrust of the documentary looks at the body of evidence that, in his early life, Hitler was, in all possibility, gay," said co-director Fenton Bailey.

He and partner Randy Barbato previously produced "The Eyes of Tammy Faye," about evangelist Tammy Faye Bakker Messner, and an HBO show on Monica Lewinsky.

Tentatively titled "The Pink Fuhrer," the docu will air next year. A shorter version has already appeared on British TV.

Side dishes

Paul Simon, Andrew Cuomo, Deputy Mayor Bill Cunningham and major-record label reps were at the screening of "The Boys of Second Street Park" Wednesday, where even hardcore scribes were wiping away tears. The bittersweet story of a generation, told through the lives of six young men growing up in Brooklyn in the 1960s, is headed to the Sundance Film Festival, but Showtime has snapped up PR vet Dan Klores' directorial debut

BRA-VO, PENNY Lancaster! The 31-year-old girlfriend of rocker Rod Stewart has boosted sales of Ultimo underwear a record 500% since signing on as their model. Designer Michelle Mone also made the bust-barer worn by Julia Roberts in "Erin Brockovich." Pretty Penny will front the lingerie line until February next year

WOW! WHEN we ran that sizzling photo of tennis star Serena Williams getting some sun in Perth, Australia, yesterday, we didn't expect the avalanche of interest in her unidentified bikini-clad pal. We can now tell you that it was her elder sister, Lyndrea Price, a Web designer. Serena and sibling/competitor, Venus Williams, also have two other sisters, Yutunde Price, who owns a beauty salon, and Isha Williams, who's in law school

"JOE MILLIONAIRE" star Evan Marriott might soon be wearing a leotard and cape. The construction worker, who on the Fox show tells would-be wives that he's loaded, got some surprising news while attending the L.A. premiere party for "Just Married." "Someone from Warner Brothers casting approached him and said they're considering him for the role of Superman in an upcoming movie," a source told us. It must have been that "fantasy wear" Web site that did the trick

BALKAN PIANIST Marina Arsenijevic certainly has had a long strange trip from Yugoslavia. Having escaped during the reign of Slobodan Milosevic by disguising herself as an old woman, the young beauty is due to make her Carnegie Hall debut tomorrow. Novelist Tama Janowitz and designer CeCe Cord are having a reception for her afterward at the Bubble Lounge.

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