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ORIGAMI

Crane

This is the quintessential origami project. Legend has it that if you fold a thousand paper cranes you will be granted your heart's desire, which I imagine at that point is to never see a goddamn paper crane again in your life. I think I've folded maybe three paper cranes in my life and already I'm sick of them. If I folded a thousand paper cranes I'd then have to fold a thousand paper wolverines to eat them. Then I'd pretend to be Canadian Godzilla and stomp the wolverines. Then I'd take a nap. D+

Frog

Origami frogs are okay, I guess. If you use green paper, they capture the essence of frog pretty well. The silly thing is when someone tries to make one that jumps. Paper has neither the traction nor the resiliency to really leap, so you end up with a paper frog that kind of slides forward in a nearly imperceptible arc. If it was a real frog, you'd want to put it out of its misery, send it to frog heaven where the air is filled with insects, the ground is always moist, and the turtles never submerge just as you jump on top of them. C

Cup

Call me a cold pragmatist, but I'm very happy about the one piece of origami that actually has a practical use. If you fold a normal piece of office paper into an origami cup, it actually works, at least for the few seconds required to get the water from the spigot to your mouth, or a house plant, or origami crane I just set on fire. If you happen to be near a source of water, and don't have a cup, and don't want to actually bend over and drink from the faucet, and don't mind the distinct flavor of wood pulp, then origami can be mighty handy. A

Ball

The first thing that bothers me about folded paper balls is that people who do them expect you to be impressed. They fold fold fold fold and then, as if they were breathing life into Adam's clay form, they inflate the damn thing. And then they look at you. The second thing that bothers me is that a ball of paper is about the most unimpressive thing in the world. It's a fucking ball of paper. People make them all the time, usually via the much more efficient ancient art of paper wadding. The fact that you decided to get to the same place via a much more roundabout route does not speak well of you. D-

Spaceship

The best recent use of origami, if you ask me -- and you do -- is replicating spaceships from science fiction movies. Origami spaceships nearly always look cool. Hell, the Enterprise from Next Generation practically looks like an origami project already. Attempts to expand into robots, ray guns, and Spock are not always so successful, though. Yes, there really is such a thing as an origami Spock. Look it up, I'm not your damn search engine. B+

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Copyright 2003 Lore Sjoberg