And you thought there was a conspiracy against the Pittsburgh Steelers…

Ah, the 90s.  The X-Files being the best show on television.  The Buffalo Bills getting pounded in the Super Bowl.  Some things you could just count on year in and year out.  Of course, an uber-geek like myself found it endlessly amusing when the two intersected in a particularly memorable episode where the secretive and ultra-powerful Cigarette Smoking Man revealed he alone was responsible for Buffalo’s annual misery.

Last year, the Bills thought they may have a chance to end a decade long playoff drought and even went with the nuclear option of signing the player more cancerous than pack of smokes, Terrell Owens.  Unfortunately, they began the year with a gut-wrenching loss at New England and never recovered.  Finishing 6-10, their fifth straight losing season, signaled the beginning of massive changes starting with firing their head coach.

Paul Miller over out BuffaLowDown was kind enough to answer some questions about the current team which started the year 0-8 but has won their last two in a row, including a win last week against a gutless Bengals team which rolled over in embarrassing fashion.  Let’s ask Paul some questions, starting with his thoughts on new Bills head coach and former Steelers offensive coordinator, Chan Gailey.  My questions in bold, his responses in italics:

How’s Chan working out?

My opinion of Chan Gailey is still up in the air.  I mean anyone who is the coach of an 2-8 team isn’t going to be liked by many.  But the Bills have shown a lot of heart and character over the past couple of games, and I hope this is a sign that Gailey’s work ethic is finally starting show out on the field.  For a 1-8 team to come back from a 28-7 deficit on the road definitely shows that the players are behind their coaching staff, so hopefully things are looking up in Buffalo.

STEELERS DEFENSE vs. BILLS OFFENSE

Last week, Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson went off, catching 8 balls for 137 yards and three touchdowns.  He also goofed on “Batman & Robin” (T.O. and Ocho) with his fantastic “Why So Serious?” t-shirt.  The No Fun League fined him a cool $5,000 (or 1/5 of what Richard Seymour was docked for sucker punching Ben Roethlisberger).  If I had the cash, I’d pay the fine for him.

That was the third time rising star Johnson has surpassed 125 yards in the last five games.  He’s in the top 10 for overall receiving yards while his 9 TDs tie him for third among NFL receivers.  Combined with multi-time 1,000 yard receiver Lee Evans, the Bills have a true Dynamic Duo.

The offense has began to click since jettisoning draft bust Trent Edwards and turning to former Bengal Ryan Fitzpatrick.

The Bills dropped 49 on the hapless Bungles last week.  In fact, it seems you’ve been scoring much better since the Harvard man took over.  What’s led to the offensive explosion?

One word confidence.  When Trent Edwards was behind center, the wide receivers were basically running their routes for nothing.  95% of the time Edwards settled for the check down, never giving his playmakers a chance.  With Fitzpatrick, he is not shy of throwing the ball down the field or into tight spots leaving it up to his receivers to make the catch.

It’s been awhile since the Bills have been any good.  Any of those high draft picks working out?

High draft picks working out?  Is this meant as a joke? Ha-ha.  The main problem behind the Bills being so bad for so long is that they’ve had a terrible time drafting the right player in the 1st round on the NFL draft.   Just take a look at some players picked 1st over the past ten years: Erick Flowers, Nate Clements, Mike Williams, Willis McGahee, Lee Evans, Donte Whitner, John McGargo, Marshawn Lynch, Leodis McKelvin, Aaron Maybin & C.J Spiller.

Four of those players are no longer on the team, two of those players aren’t even dressing on Sundays, and the rest (besides Lee Evans) are still up for debate.  Hopefully Buddy Nix will be able to change the Bills misfortune in the upcoming NFL Draft.

For the Steelers, it’ll be interesting to see how our rotten secondary handles a pair of bonafide top notch receiving threats and a quarterback who improves by leaps and bounds every week.

Bret Keisel is expected to see his first action in a month although I expect his playing time to be limited since there is no sense in risking re-injury with big games against Baltimore and the Jets looming.  The rest of the defense appears healthy as one can be at this time of year so much like last week where they harassed and confused Jason Campbell (when they weren’t being flagged for bogus penalties), how well they fluster a young and inexperienced offense will be the key to this match-up.

STEELERS OFFENSE vs. BILLS DEFENSE

The Bills currently rank 24th in total defense and dead last against the run.  Rashard Mendenhall had a somewhat disappointing game last week although he was running behind a really banged up line.  Mike Tomlin pulled a surprise switcheroo starting Ramon Foster at RG and is now saying that move is permanent.  I’ve said I liked what I saw from Foster, particularly in run blocking, so I’m glad to see him get playing time over hobbled Trai Essex or wretched Doug Legursky.

Let’s talk some Bills defense with Paul:

The Bills aren’t on television much so forgive my ignorance.  Who’s your best player we’ve probably never heard of?

Well I take it after last week, the whole world now knows about Steve Johnson.  So I will say NT Kyle Williams.  I’m sure some of your readers know about Williams since he is having a Pro Bowl type season on a very inexperienced Buffalo Bills defense.   Williams is in his 5th season out of LSU, and has a knack at making plays.  He is the Bills main run stopper, and has added putting pressure on the QB on his resume.  He only has 3 sacks so far this season, but for a 305 lb NT, he is definitely drawing the attention of opposing teams Offensive Linemen.

Big Ben and the offense had their finest showing of the season last week.  Another surprise move was inserting rookie Emmanuel Sanders in the #3 slot over Antwaan Randle-El.  Look, I like ARE but he is what he is.  He’s a middle of the field possession receiver and the Steelers already have two far superior versions in Hines and Heath.  Sanders hasn’t impressed as much as Mike Wallace did in his rookie year but has made some nice athletic plays while catching TD passes in two consecutive games.

So, Paul, is there anybody should Big Ben keep an eye out for on Sunday?

Big Ben should look out for Jairus Byrd on Sunday.  The second year player made a lot of noise during his rookie campaign with 9 INTS, but has yet to record any so far this season.  But, now with the Bills defense finally looking comfortable and players knowing their assignments, I’m expecting Byrd to break out in the final 6 games of the season.

Well, Paul’s optimism aside, this is a game the Steelers should not only win but win in convincing fashion.  This is also the type of game I confidently predicted would be an easy check mark in the win column last year only to see the Black and Gold go down in flames of embarrassment.   I think this team has learned from last year’s debacle, playing with heart and not taking anything for granted.  Against a gutsy Buffalo team which may be over-matched but never backs down, let’s hope they don’t.

With Thanksgiving upon us, here are some things I’m thankful for, Pittsburgh Steelers-style.

I’m thankful for:  Charlie Batch

The first month of the season could have been a real mess thanks to the ridiculous suspension of Ben Roethlisberger.  It could have been an even bigger mess when Dennis Dixon went down with an MCL injury.  But Chaz stepped in and guided the Steelers to within 50 seconds of an undefeated start.

I’m thankful for:  Skippy’s wooden leg.

Jeff Reed forgot one important fact; he’s a kicker.  Kickers are like umpires or little children, the best ones are those you hardly know are there.  Nobody wants to hear from a kicker, especially when it has to do with contract complaints or restroom rage.  But when he hits 90% of his FGs, there isn’t much you can do.  So while his stunning ineptitude only really cost the Steelers one game (Ravens), it’s nice to finally be rid of the Heatmiser once and for all.

I’m thankful for:  Sean Kugler and Al Everest

My doctor certainly appreciates Everest’s work in keeping my stress level from going through the roof on every kickoff/punt like it did last season.  Hopefully we’ll be seeing a lot less of Captain Faircatch (Antwaan Randle-El), too.   As for the Kugler, this offensive line pretty much defines the term “patchwork.”  And yet everybody seems to be playing up to their ability or surpassing it.  An extra drumstick for both.

I’m thankful for:  the 5th round pick we got for Santonio Holmes

Thankful we didn’t just give him away for free.  Yeah, he was an idiot.  And, yeah, I’d rather have Mike Wallace.  But it’s pretty clear ARE and the rookies aren’t the same as having both Holmes and Wallace.  Watching ‘Tone make big play after big play for the Jets this year annoys me to think we gave up such a talent because of some phony stance on player morality.  And for such a bargain basement price!

I’m thankful for:  Drunk college girls

At the risk of turning this into the NPC version of KissingSuzyKolber’s hilarious Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag, let’s remember the best part of college; random hook-ups.  Yes, even us dorks who went to CMU had fun (thank god for slutty Pitt girls).  Of course, the great tragedy of collegiate debauchery is while the women are loose, they don’t really know what they’re doing until they’re much older.  That’s why everybody loves a cougar.

So let’s give thanks that when Ben decided to get his freak on, he did it with a drunk sorority girl wearing a DTF name tag.  Whether she used teeth or can’t control her gag reflex, we’ll never know.  But whatever she did was so lousy, not one single drop of semen was found in the bathroom, on her clothes, or anywhere on her person.  Because we know if that pious witch-hunting D.A. had even a microscopic amount of evidence, Big Ben would be sitting at home right now preparing for his trial instead of leading us on our climb up the Stairway To Seven

I’m thankful for:  Roger Goodell’s stunning lack of ambition

Let’s rejoice that the Ginger Dictator doesn’t harbor any political dreams or national ambitions.  Can you imagine this man as a Senator or even our President?  If this country were run as shoddily and haphazard as he runs the NFL, we’d be France.

I’m thankful for:  Some horse in some stable somewhere

That horse’s great-great-great granddaddy won a race.  And because he won that race, Art Rooney was able to start a football team.  Sure, I don’t always agree with what they do but would you rather have Dan Snyder or Mike Brown?  When you look at all the idiot owners in the NFL, we’re truly blessed to have such a great family steering the ship lo these many years.

And finally, I’m most thankful for:

The NFL is a joke.  And I’m not laughing.

Richard Seymour perpetrated one of the vilest acts of cowardice in league history on Sunday.   His sucker punch of Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was a criminal act which should have landed him behind bars courtesy of the Pittsburgh police department just like any other common thug.  Menaces such as him should not only face huge fines and lengthy suspensions but permanent banishment from the game.

In short, a cheap-shot artist like Richard Seymour does not belong in the NFL.

The NFL’s response to his reprehensible actions?   A $25,000 fine.  That’s it.   Meal money and a slap on the wrist.  No suspension.

This is the most outrageous decision yet from the corrupt administration of Roger Goodell.  Prior to this, I thought the Ginger Dictator was an arrogant but basically well-intentioned man.   Now I see my mistake.  He is at best an incompetent boob who hands out punishments based on whims and at worst has an obvious vendetta against certain teams and players.

After Sunday’s game, James Harrison made it clear he felt Seymour should be suspended.  James points out, quite correctly, that if guys are going to be suspended for things which happen DURING PLAY, incidents which occur when players moving at incredible speeds are given a mere split-second to react, how could you NOT hold somebody accountable for purposely throwing a vicious right-cross after play is over?  It’s hypocritical.

Seymour knew full well what he was doing.  It was a punk move done by one of the biggest dicks in NFL history.   I guess it’s only natural he plays on a team of punks coached by a moronic punk who beat up his wife when he wasn’t sucker punching assistant coaches.

But they have Roger Goodell in their hip pocket so they have that going for them.  Earlier this season, Harrison was fined an outrageous $75,000 for a clean unpenalized hit on some clumsy receiver who ducked into his shoulder while he was attempting to make a form perfect tackle.  The reason for the huge amount?   Harrison “was a repeat offender.”

Okay, let’s look at what an upstanding citizen Seymour is.  In 2006, he was fined for stepping on a Colts offensive lineman after a play.  In 2009, he was fined for pulling Bronco Ryan Clady’s hair.  Hair pulling?  Seriously?  Way to act like a nine-year-old girl, assclown.  Wait, it gets better.  In December 2009, Seymour was ejected and later fined $10,000 for hitting Browns running back Jerome Harrison after a play was over.

Is that not the very definition of “a repeat offender?”   How many criminal acts does Seymour get to perform before he’s fined $75,000?   Will pulling out a knife and shanking Big Ben in full view of 65,000 people be enough?  Or is it just Steelers who are subject to the stiffest penalties allowed?

I don’t know why I get so worked up over this.  I should have seen it coming.  The NFL has no interest in player safety or enforcing their phony rules concerning helmet-to-helmet hits unless the play in question involves a Steeler.  Austin Collie gets stretchered out after a spear by Eagle Kurt Coleman.  No fine, no suspension.  James Sanders cheap shots Hines Ward with clear and malicious intent.  No fine, no suspension.

But LaMarr Woodley shoves Tommy Bieber with less force than I push my goddaughter on her swing and it’s a $12,500 fine.

The Raiders are a joke.  The NFL is a joke.  The NFL’s rules are a joke.  And Roger Goodell is the biggest joke of all.

And I’m not laughing.

This is why you can’t have nice things…

The Pittsburgh Steelers laid a 35-3 beatdown on the outclassed Oakland Raiders yesterday afternoon.  However, instead of talking about the Black and Gold’s finest effort of the season, we’ll probably spend the week discussing the pathetic events which occurred between plays.  This game was a travesty, a sham, a complete mockery of what we as NFL fans expect.  And I hold Roger Goodell, the NFL, and the Raiders responsible for this utter travashamockery of football.

We should probably begin with Raiders DT and lead thug Richard Seymour, who sucker punched Ben Roethlisberger after a 22 yard touchdown pass to Emmanuel Sanders.  Seymour was ejected for his Rampage Jackson-style right cross but that is not enough.  This was a criminal act the likes of which I have never seen on an NFL field.  The Ginger Dictator loves fining players for legal yet vicious hits in the name of protecting their safety.  How safe is it when you have goons like Seymour physically assaulting defenseless men after a play?

Seymour should not only face the stiffest fine ever levied but suspended for 2 to 3 games for his reprehensible actions.  In fact, I DEMAND IT.

As if the lousy sportsmanship wasn’t bad enough, the officials did everything in their power to ruin the game.  The Steelers set a team record with 14 penalties for 163 yards.  The Raiders as a team only had 182 yards TOTAL.  Ordinarily, I’d lay blame for this fiasco on the players and Mike Tomlin.   But I really have nothing to admonish them for since only about half those calls were legitimate fouls.

There’s a phenomenon known locally as Pittsburgh Paranoia.   It’s a feeling Pittsburgh sports fans have where they constantly feel leagues, networks, and especially the media either ignore or attempt to diminish our teams.  Usually I laugh at these conspiracy nuts even though there is a kernel of truth to their argument.  However, after yesterday, I’m fully on board with anybody who wants to argue the NFL is attempting to sabotage the Steelers.

Even now, some 12 hours later, I can feel myself slipping into a boiling rage over the grossly inept display of officiating.  The Steelers were called for two personal fouls on absolutely clean sacks, one of which negated a pick-six.  James Harrison, after clocking Jason Campbell, was flagged for coming down “with his full weight on the QB.”  So that’s a penalty now?  What about 3/4 body weight?  Or 1/5?  How much weight is permitted to touch a precious QB before a flag is thrown in this increasingly pussified game of football?  It was a form-perfect hit.  What’s he supposed to do?

The Ginger Dictator should just issue a press release saying, “James Harrison is no longer permitted to touch any quarterbacks under penalty of fine and/or personal foul.  Sorry, I just don’t like him or the Steelers.  In fact, if he scowls at the QB in a threatening manner, I may penalize that, too.”  It’s pathetic.

When the Steelers weren’t being called for phantom personal fouls, they were getting flagged for phantom pass interferences.  Ike Taylor, who was the man denied his pick-six, got flagged for PI on a ball that overshot the receiver by about 20 yards.  I could go on and on and on but I don’t know what to say.  This was the most atrociously refereed football game I’ve ever seen.  The league should be embarrassed.

Let’s talk some positives.  Sean Kugler continues to work miracles with the offensive line.  The starting group of Flo-Foster (starting for a benched Trai Essex)-Pouncey-Kemo-Scott was fairly impressive, keeping Ben clean and providing a nice pocket.  Meanwhile, the vaunted run D the mouthbreathers from Oakland who invaded my blog raved about was getting gashed until injuries to our already banged up O-line started piling up.  If this group can get healthy come playoff time, we might have something.  That’s a big IF, though, as Scott and Kemo were both hobbled leading to super-sub Essex entering at various points.  Then there was Pouncey, who was replaced by Legursky after re-injuring his gimpy knee early in the second half.

Big Ben was brilliant.  Of course, a late scratch of Raiders star CB Nnamdi Asomugha helped.  But this was the Ben we expected once he returned from his unfair uncalled for suspension.  Quick, decisive, and pinpoint accurate, the offense was firing on all cylinders after a few rough drives to start the game.  Ben completed 18/29 for 275 with 3 passing TDs and one 16 yard TD scramble.  I particularly enjoyed the 16 yard FU touchdown to Issac Redman with a little over a minute left in the game.

What was most impressive about the passing game was the variety of targets utilized in the attack.  Ben hit eight different receivers, six of whom had multiple catches.  Naturally, Mike Wallace had the big game (3 catches but 116 yards!   52 of which came on his lone TD.) but rookies Antonio Brown and Emmanuel Sanders (whose leaping 22 yard TD catch was sweet) finally made some plays.  Hines and Heath were dependable safety valves, as usual.

On the flip side, the run defense was fantastic.  They held the Raiders to only 61 total yards on the ground, lowering their yearly yards against average yet again.  At the rate they’re going, this may end up being statistically the best rush defense in NFL HISTORY.  Harrison, when he wasn’t being unfairly persecuted, had a monster game, posting five tackles, two sacks, picking off a pass and forcing a fumble.  Ike Taylor also forced a fumble in addition to the pick-six he was denied.

Shaun Suisham made all his extra points so I have nothing to comment on in that regard.  Got a good laugh at the crowd roaring on his first PAT.  Enjoy the love while you can, Suissy.  We’ll be ready to run you out of town as soon as you shank a 35 yarder with the Steelers up by 20 in the fourth quarter.

I’m torn on what to take from this game.   There is the positive of our team playing tremendously on both sides of the ball which is negated by the fact the Raiders are a pathetic team.  I’m sorry, I truly gave them too much credit in my preview as it’s clear they beat up on a bunch of bottom-feeders and in reality aren’t in the same class as the league’s top tier teams.  Then we have the positive of being able to wash the taste from last week’s debacle out of our mouths.  Which is countered by this game being a debacle of a different sort, albeit one which ended well.  I guess at the end of the day that’s all that matters.

The Oakland Raiders continued their run of ineptitude last year, going 5-11 to extend their streak of 11 loss seasons to seven.  Of course, one of those five wins was against a reeling Pittsburgh Steelers.  That wasn’t the first time a defending Super Bowl champion Steelers team suffered an embarrassing defeat at the hands of the Raiders.  In 2006, the Black and Gold lost to an Oakland team which would win only two (TWO!) games that entire season.

That was then, this is now.  I don’t know how many virgins (assuming you can find one in California) the immortal Al Davis sacrificed to please his dark master but some sort of mystical forces have conspired to make the Raiders one of the NFL’s most surprising teams.  No word on whether Count Al will make the trip to Heinz Field this Sunday.  I hope he does because I’m kinda curious if he sparkles in the sunlight.

STEELERS DEFENSE vs. RAIDERS OFFENSE

The Raiders finally cut bait on Jamarcus Russell, the biggest draft bust in history.  Jason Campbell brings respectability back to the quarterback position.  Campbell never lived up to what Joe Gibbs saw in him and it seems the change in scenery  has done him a world of good.  His numbers aren’t great (7 TD-5 INT) but he’s been coming on in recent weeks with 5 of those touchdowns over the past three games.

This match-up will be an interesting test for the Steelers D.  Some people like to parrot what they hear on TV or the radio about “the NFL is a passing league, you must throw the ball 55 times a game to win!” which is utter stupidity.  Every team is different and you win by doing what you do well and minimizing what you do bad.  There is no “magic formula.”   Case in point is the Raiders.

Oakland has averaged 25 rushes per game and over 100 yards per game over the last 5 games.   They are 4-1 over that span.  Meanwhile, the Steelers have been throwing a lot more over the past three games, losing two of them.  The Raiders recognize they aren’t an explosive offense and don’t try to be something they’re not.  Too bad Bruce Arians doesn’t follow their example.

Speaking of offensive coordinators, a large part of the Raiders improvement can be traced to Hue Jackson taking over playcalling duties from head coach Tom Cable.  He’s simply decided to put the ball in the hands of his best player, the Reggie Bushesque Darren McFadden.   D-Mac is a multi-purpose threat averaging 5.4 yards per carry and 10.1 yards per reception.  He is backed up by bruising Michael Bush, who could probably start for many teams.

Last week, the Patriots exposed how lousy the Steelers secondary is.  This week, Tom Cable has already said they aren’t going to try copying their example.  Of course, this may be classic coach misdirection.  If we know that they know that we know they aren’t going to pass then they may actually do the opposite of what we thought they said we thought they weren’t going to do.

The Raiders may not have much choice since their top receiving threats WR Darius Heyward-Bey, WR Chaz Shilens and TE Zach Miller are all nursing injuries.  The Steelers are suffering a rash of injuries, as well.  Troy Polamalu hasn’t practiced with a strained achilles tendon, which may explain his steep decline the past few weeks.  Brett Keisel is still hampered by a hamstring while his backup, Nick Eason, has been sick with a mystery illness.  The good news is defensive MVP Lawrence Timmons has practiced and is expected to play.

Since Aaron Smith went down, we’ve been wondering if the run defense would go along with him.  The Patriots, Bengals, and Saints aren’t running teams so those weren’t the most stiff of tests.  Well, this week we play the 2nd best rushing offense in the NFL.  The Steelers rush D is still ranked #1 overall.   Something has to give.

STEELERS OFFENSE vs. RAIDERS DEFENSE

This match-up also presents some interesting questions.  The Raiders defense was so lousy, they traded next year’s first round pick to the Patriots for 31 year old Richard Seymour.   Then they went out and spent their first two picks on Rolando McClain (8th overall) and Lamarr Houston (44th) in an effort to bolster last year’s 29th ranked rushing defense.  It worked so well, they’re now ranked 24th.

On the flip side, CB Nnamdi Asomugha has battled injury but remains one of the best corners in the league.  Stanford Routt and Chris Johnson are the unfortunate duo who get picked on because teams stay away from Nnamdi.  I’m sure a lot of people are saying, “Who?”   Fair question but they, combined with a strong pass rush from Seymour and emerging star Tommy Kelly, are doing something right because the Raiders have the 2nd best pass defense in football.

Which is why I say this is an interesting match-up.  The Raiders strength is secondary, their weakness is stopping the run.  Since Ben Roethlisberger’s return, the Steelers have steadily moved away from running the ball to the point Rashard Mendenhall, once the league’s second leading rusher, had only 11 carries for 50 yards last week.  Chris Kemoeatu has practiced and is expected to play which means with the exception of Max Starks, our starting offensive line should be back together.

Kemo is a much better run blocker than pass blocker.  Ditto with Flozell Adams.  Same with Trai Essex.  This is why the line looked so impressive in opening up gaping holes for Mendy while allowing few sacks the first month of the season.  The offensive playcalling emphasized their strengths (rushing) and tried to downplay their weakness (pass blocking).  Things have gone awry the past few games as Bruce Arians has attempted to bring his Flying Circus back into town.

Bottom line:  this week we have an offensive line that is good at run blocking for a very good running back facing a defense that is fantastic against the pass but struggles against the run.  Naturally, I expect Arians to roll out his empty backfield four wide set on the second or third play of the game.

Last week, I said that game was the tipping point for the entire season.  I won’t make any grand proclamations this week.   All I’ll say is nobody wants to relive the nightmare that was 2009.   A loss to a Raiders team that is very much improved over the Raiders we lost to last season and it will be deju vu all over again.

After spending way too much time talking about kickers, let’s talk about real athletes.

With the exception of the sissies who boot the pigskin, football players are the toughest athletes in all of sports.   Let’s use concussions for example. Justin Morneau was concussed in July and couldn’t return for his team’s playoff run in mid-October.  Of course, everybody knows baseball players are a soft bunch of overpaid ball-scratchers.  Hockey players are tough but Pittsburgh fans may remember last season when Matt Cooke wiped out the Bruins’ Marc Savard with a beautiful (and clean) body check.  Savard missed almost two months of action and was still cry-babying about post-concussion “symptoms” this season.

Meanwhile, football players who are concussed almost always return a week later.  Except Hines Ward.  He wanted to return in the same game.

Yes, in Mike Tomlin’s weekly pack of lies/press conference, admitted Hines suffered a concussion in that debacle against the Patriots.  As I surmised, they told him it was a “neck sprain” just to placate the proud and stubborn receiver.  I applaud the Pittsburgh Steelers for doing right by their players.

Hines is, without a doubt, one of the toughest men to ever wear the Black and Gold. For those of you who know your Steelers history, that’s saying a lot.  This man sprained his MCL in the AFC Championship game, an injury which would shelve an ordinary player for almost an entire season, and returned to play just two weeks later.  Given the physical manner in which he plays, I’m sure Hines has had his share of injuries over the years but he’s never whines, complained, or made excuses like our Drama Queen behind center.

I empathize with people who’ve suffered a concussion.  Mostly because I have personal experience with that particular issue.  While attending CMU, I was once concussed in an intra-mural floor hockey game gone horribly awry.  Don’t think I’ve forgotten your goonish behavior, Tina DiCapula.

However, I do find the NFL’s current concussion-craze to be a bit overzealous.  Mike Tomlin’s comment that, “Sometimes, you’ve got to protect the extreme competitors from themselves, and Hines is that.  We love and respect him for that, but we had to act in his best interests.” bothers me.  These are grown men who should be permitted to make their own choices. Doctors don’t strap you down”in your best interests” and stick needles in your ass without your consent.  Why should the NFL, Tomlin, or anybody else force Hines out of a game by lying to him?

On the flip side, Hines also said some things which worry me.   I’ve always felt Hines was one of the smartest players on the team, perhaps a future Senator or Congressman.  However, when he says, “Until I get a defined answer with all of the stats of guys having injuries post-career, I won’t worry about it.” that worries me. Um, talk to Merril Hoge about the effects of repeated concussions.  Or talk to Mike Webster and Justin Strzelczyk.

Oh wait, you can’t…  ‘Cause they’re dead.

The good news is Hines has passed all his post-concussion tests and is cleared to play on Sunday.  Although his cavalier attitude suggests there is still a ways to go as far as educating players on the dangers of concussions.  Although, really, the Ginger Dictator has nobody to blame but himself if players don’t take the issue seriously.  After all, this putz drops the hammer on James Harrison for playing clean hard football but doesn’t fine absolutely filthy dirty players like Kurt Coleman (who knocked out Austin Collie) or James Sanders (who cheapshoted Hines).  Until there is a clear and defined set of rules for all concerned, these situations are going to continue to occur.  Let’s just hope everybody gets on board before it’s too late.

@ Yahoo! Video

Sifting through the wreckage of L’Affaire d’ Skippy…

The Pittsburgh Steelers bid farewell to their long-time kicker with a short bitterly worded press release which was as much a burial as a good-bye.  The final paragraph read, “Jeff Reed was in his ninth year with the team in 2010, but was just 15 of 22 on field goal attempts this season.  Reed ranks second in team history with 919 career points (307 PATs, 204 FGs).”   Ouch.   Either one of the ladies in the PR Department is an unhappy notch on Skippy’s bedpost or somebody in the front office ordered them to twist the knife before throwing him overboard.

When Santonio Holmes was traded, the press release was very diplomatic, noting his career accomplishments and noting what they got in return.   It didn’t say, “Today the Steelers traded Santonio Holmes for a clipboard and a couple of jockstraps.  Holmes, with 235 catches for 3,850 yards, currently ranks 3rd on the all-time yardage by a pothead list.  In 2009, he had over 1,000 yards receiving and was 1 for 1 in beaning chicks with a shotglass.”

I do think releasing Jeff has been in the plans for awhile.  His off-field stupidity coupled with his outrageous salary demands already put him in a hole.  He just dug it deeper by whining about his contract to the media (something the Rooneys despise) and then struck oil by claiming the “front office” aka Art Rooney II, “lied” to him when they promised he’d get a new contract before the season.  Actually, I do believe the front office lied to him because the front office which used to be run with honor and integrity has become dishonest and hypocritical in recent years.

I don’t think this is “a message to the players.” since Reed is but a lowly kicker.  Real football players think about their kicker about as much as they think about what their having for lunch.  I doubt Willie Gay or Trai Essex are somewhere thinking, “Man, I better play better or I’ll get cut next!”  Google any kicker and you’ll see they played for a list of teams.  It’s an expendable position.  If better options at CB, OL, or DL were available, they would already be here.

Let’s talk some Shaun Suisham.  As you can see by the video above, he’s got a very strong leg.  He was originally discovered by the Steelers but cut in training camp back in 2005.  He’s a Canadian so instead of drunken man whore jokes I can now roll out my repertoire of Canuck humor.  Since being cut by the Rams in training camp, the Black and Gold will be the first uniform he’s worn this season and his fifth team in the past six years.

Comparing their career numbers, Suisham and Reed aren’t much different.  Suisham, who will also handle kickoffs, has a 60 yard average against Reed’s 61 yards.  Suisham’s career kicking percentage is 79% vs. Skippy’s 81%.   Of course, those numbers can be skewed by distance and place.  For example, Suisham’s career percentage at 40-49 yards (75%) is actually significantly better than Reed’s (65%) although much of that probably has to do with Heinz Field where anything over 40 yards is anything but a gimme.

Although I wonder how much the Heinz Field Curse is overblown.  The entire rationale to franchising Reed was because few people can kick at the Ketchup Bottle.  In 2010, Skippy was 4 for 9 (44%) at home.  His opponents, same wind, same field conditions, were 7 out of 9 (78%).  Once Reed started blowing kicks at home, I knew his career in Pittsburgh had the life expectancy of the first towel dispenser he saw after hearing he had been released.

Sorry, had to work one more Sheetz joke in for old time’s sake.

The big red flag with Suisham is his ability to kick under pressure.  Suisham has played in exactly two important games in his career and performed badly in both of them.  Last year, the Redskins had a chance to upset the then-undefeated Saints but Suisham shanked a 23 yarder which always classy Washingtonians have dubbed “The Choke.”  Suisham was later released and hooked on with the Cowboys.  He contributed to their annual playoff meltdown by missing two kicks (both over 40 yards) in their NFC Divisional loss to the Vikings.

The Steelers play more than their share of big games so if this guy isn’t a big game kicker, we may be in for a long year.  Then again, the Patriots once had the Big Ben of kickers, Adam Vinatieri, but didn’t want to pay him.  They replaced him with a kid named Stephen Gostkowski and haven’t really missed a beat.  So “clutch” kicking is not exactly irreplaceable.  Although let’s hope the Steelers don’t find out the hard way that statement doesn’t always hold true.

Allow me to take you back in time.  It’s 2002 and Kris Brown signs an offer sheet from a brand-spanking new expansion franchise called the Houston Texans.  The Pittsburgh Steelers elect not to match, allowing their solid if unspectacular kicker to leave.  In his place, they bring in veteran Todd Peterson.  Unfortunately, Peterson has no clue how to kick at Heinz Field, missing almost 50% of his attempts before getting “injured.”  Bill Cowher brings in three kickers, lines them up, and basically says, “Whoever puts the most balls through the uprights wins a job.”

Thus, the Jeff Reed era begins.

Now comes word that era is about to end in much the same way.  ESPN’s Adam Schefter, one of the few reliable NFL Insiders, is reporting the Steelers will hold a kicker try-out this afternoon.  If one of them sufficiently impresses the coaching staff, the Steelers will cut Skippy shortly thereafter.  EDIT: Which Jeff Reed has been. It’s confirmed, he’s been cut.  In fact, there are reports he was already cut last night and today’s “try-outs” were just a formality.  Former Redskin Shaun Suisham is your new kicker. More detailed thoughts about Suisham to follow tomorrow.

Quite a turn of events for the man tabbed the team’s Franchise Player this past off-season.

Of course, Skippy brought this all upon himself.  His antics are something the Black and Gold would barely tolerate from a real football player, never mind a lowly kicker.  The only reason he’s survived fighting with cops, beating up towel dispensers, and basically acting like a drunken fool is his remarkable ability to kick at Heinz Field.   Well, this season he’s currently dead last in home field goal percentage.  Between that and the fact he’s failed to make clutch kicks on three separate occasions (Ravens, Saints, Bengals), it would seem his “Get Out Of Jail Free” card has finally been played out.

The final straw appears to be his bizarre post-game rant following Sunday night’s beatdown at the hands of the New England Patriots.  From James Harrison’s “I try to hurt people, not injure them,” to Mike Tomlin’s “It would be tough for me to care less about their opinion, to be honest with you,” we’ve had some all-time great quotes this season.   But the Jeff Reed Manifesto may trump of all them.  As told to the Post-Gazette:

“I’m not going to make excuses.”

Great!

“If you’ve played any kind of sports in your life, you realize that what we play on is not very good turf. It happens.”

Err…   That kinda sounds like an excuse, Skippy.

“It hurts me that I don’t help this team get points. But percentages are way overrated.”

At least my fantasy team won…

A week after getting manhandled by the friggin’ Browns, the New England Patriots marched in to Heinz Field and humiliated the Pittsburgh Steelers 39-26.  If the Saints game on Halloween was the low point of the season, this is the Grand Canyon.  Thirty-nine points are the most the once feared Blitzburgh defense has ever surrendered in a regular season home game.   The win also raises Tom Brady’s career ownage of the Steelers to six wins against only one loss.

Where do I start?  The Black and Gold came out flat and predictable.  I swear run-run-DEEP BALL is all Bruce Arians has in his playbook.  Meanwhile, the Patriots had fire in their eyes.  Tom Brady was throwing hissy fits left and right.  Maybe it’s his time of the month.

Tommy Bieber marched his boys right down the field on their opening drive, throwing on our inept secondary at will.  The first of three touchdowns to Woodland Hills alum Rob Gronkowski was really the only “excusable” score of the night as William Gay had perfect coverage and was just beaten by a great throw and catch.  Don’t worry, Gay had plenty of bad plays left in him.

Bill Belichick is a genius, alright.  His brilliant strategy of “Find the guy Gay is covering and throw it to him for an automatic first down/touchdown.” is something only his keen analytical mind could concoct.  Gay couldn’t cover a fat girl in a sleeping bag.  Bryant McFadden was nice enough to lay out comfy 6 yard cushions for our guests.  In fact, I can’t think of anybody in the secondary, Troy Polamalu included, who played decently.  We’re ten weeks into the season and it’s clear this five DB nickel package they use against passing formations is NOT WORKING.

The Steelers offense didn’t fare much better.  Hines Ward was concussed on the final play of the first quarter on a helmet-to-helmet hit by James Sanders, snapping his streak of 186 consecutive games with a reception.  Actually, Hines was credited with a reception but the call was overturned on review.  Gotta admire the balls Belichick has for not only getting away with an illegal hit but challenging the play on which it occurred.  By the way, you watch, I GUARANTEE Sanders won’t be so much as fined for that flagrantly dirty hit.

James Harrison, you see, is the only player who pays for hitting people hard.

Speaking of James, did he play last night?  Did LaMarr Woodley?   James Farrior?  I must’ve missed them as the linebackers didn’t so much as harm a hair among Brady’s luxuriously flowing locks.  Much of it has to do with our revamped front three, who were pushed all over the field.  When the defense doesn’t get to the QB, we’re doomed because the secondary depends on hurried/bad throws to make up for their inadequacy.  Lawrence Timmons played but was hurt late in the game.  Losing him for any significant period of time will be an utter catastrophe.

The Steelers had only a little over 100 yards of total offense at halftime.   While Peyton Hillis gashed the Pats for 184 yards last week, Rashard Mendenhall never got on track.  Some of it is Arians clear lack of commitment to the run.  And some is the new O-line not getting much of a push.  Mendy had a couple nice runs toward the end of the half but the running game was completely abandoned when the Steelers fell twenty points behind in the third quarter.

While my fantasy team appreciates his epic garbage time performance, Ben Roethlisberger’s gaudy numbers were piled up once the game was out of hand.  The revamped offensive line wasn’t great but wasn’t nearly as bad as some had feared.  They surrendered five sacks with at least three of them due to Ben holding the ball too damn long.   At this point it’s too late to teach the big doofus three steps-THROW! but this is why chucking the ball 35+ times a game is a losing proposition.  He simply doesn’t make decisions quickly enough or throw accurately enough for it to pay off.  For how badly the team played, the game wasn’t completely out of reach until Big Ben’s poorly thrown pick-six in the fourth quarter.

Not that his receivers are blameless.  Emmanuel Sanders is certainly no Mike Wallace.  He played like a rookie, dropping a number of catchable balls and running the wrong route on a pivotal play in the end zone.   Antwaan Randle El also got in on the act.  As much as I like ARE, he’s no Hines Ward when it comes to being a sure-handed safety valve.  We can survive losing Santonio but subtract both from the mix and this is a very mediocre group of wide outs.

As if terrible defense and a sputtering offense weren’t enough, our special teams also had their fair share of suck.  Jeff Reed missed a FG, actually a gloried extra point, as his Farewell Tour continues.  There’s a paper towel dispenser in for a rough night.

I apologize for the scattershot rambling nature of this recap but so many things went wrong last night, I have no idea where to focus my disgust.  The entire game was a complete disaster.  No running game, pitiful passing game, horrific secondary, zero pressure from the linebackers, Skippy being Skippy…  It’s a sad state of affairs when the Browns dominate teams (Saints, Pats) that blow out the Steelers.

You gotta hand it to Bill Belichick.   Don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand the MILF-chasing, sneaky videotaping (thankfully, those hobbies don’t overlap) stone face.  But you have to appreciate his ability to spin straw into gold.  This is actually a rebuilding year for the New England Patriots as they attempt to inject fresh talent in to a team which has only a few remnants remaining from the glory teams of the past decade.   And, yet, they don’t seem to miss a beat, winning the AFC East last season and posting a 6-2 record thus far in 2010.

STEELERS DEFENSE vs. PATRIOTS OFFENSE

Coming off knee surgery, Tom Brady took a while to get back into the swing of things last season but rebounded to post one of his usual fantastic stat lines.   This year, not even his ridiculous Bieber-hair has interfered with his ability to get the ball where it needs to go.  A 14/4 TD-INT ratio puts to rest any worries that Tom Terrific is slowing down.   One concern, however, is a sprained foot which kept him out of practice this week.   Not that Brady has ever been mistaken for a Slash but the ability to slide around the pocket to buy the extra second or two may be something to look for when he faces the Pittsburgh Steelers hellacious pass rush.

WR Wes Welker, coming off a serious knee injury, remains one of the best slot receivers in the league.  Although without Randy Moss stretching the field and keeping the defense from clogging the middle, Welker’s numbers have declined sharply (36, 24, and 25 yards in the past three games).  Part of the slack is expected to be picked up by the returning Deon Branch and second year player Brandon Tate.  Although the Pats best receiving threats have been rookie TEs Aaron Hernandez and Woodland Hills alum Rob Gronkowski.

Shockingly, the Patriots actually rank higher in rushing offense (15th) than passing (17th).  The running back position is a motley crew of misfits.  Oft-injured Laurence Maroney has been shipped out of town in favor of a two-headed monster consisting of Benjarvis Green-Ellis and little Danny Woodhead.   If you watched HBO’s fantastic Hard Knocks this year, you’ll remember Woody as a Rex Ryan favorite.  The 5′8 195 runt has become a New England cult hero because he embodies all the qualities Massholes hold dear (ie:  He’s white).

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Belichick takes a page from his own book and comes out throwing the ball 35 consecutive times like he did in a memorable Monday Night game many years back.  The Browns held them under 70 rushing yards last week while the Steelers remain the top ranked rushing D.  On the flip side, our pass defense continues to slide down the standings on a weekly basis.  Gay covering Welkah or B-Mac giving one of his patented 8 yard cushions to Branch is the stuff nightmares are made of.

STEELERS OFFENSE vs. PATRIOTS DEFENSE

Remember all that nice stuff I said about Billy boy in my introduction?  Well, despite my puke-inducing praise, one fact remains.  The current Patriots defense is garbage.  GARBAGE.

They’re 29th in total yards allowed, 29th in passing yards per game, and 21st in rushing yards per game.  We should’ve seen this coming after the Ravens absolutely humiliated them 33-14 in last year’s playoffs.   But the point was more than driven home last week when Browns RB Peyton Hillis gashed them for 184 yards while Colt McCoy directed a steady attack without throwing a single interception.  Belichick is reloading the defense but it’s very much still a work in progress.

The fly in the Steelers’ ointment is half the team is in desperate need of Tiger Balm.  The offense was decimated by injuries last week.   Heath Miller is battling a gimpy knee.   Mewelde Moore and Issac Redman were both concussed last week but have been cleared by team doctors.  Of course, one bell-ringing hit and Jon Dwyer is a step closer to toting the rock.

Naturally the biggest concern is an offensive line which has been left in shambles.  Max Starks has a herniated disk in his neck which requires season ending surgery.  The Steelers haven’t said exactly what their plan is for Sunday night but I have to think they’ll either move Flozell Adams back to his original LT position or insert Jonathan Scott who started there for Sean Kugler’s Buffalo Bills.  Personally, I’d leave the Hotel on the right side because they’ve been generating great push in the running game.

But wait, there’s more!  Chris Kemoeatu has a double whammy knee/ankle sprain which in his own words is “not good.”  Meanwhile, Maurkice Pouncey is battling a bruised tibia.  Mike Tomlin was hoping both would be good to go but it sounds like only Pouncey is expected to play.  If the line can hold it together with scotch tape and Bubble Yum, Ben Roethlisberger and the offense should have plenty of opportunities against a fairly porous defense.

One final note, I don’t usually mention special teams since I like talking about real football players.  However, Patriots kicker Stephen Gostkowski has a bum hip and is done for the year.  They’ve brought in former Bungle Shayne Graham to handle FG duties in his absence.

The Steelers were 6-2 at the mid-way point last year and we were saying, “Who cares how you win or how many injuries you have?   We’re 6-2!”   Then we fell into an epic swoon where we lost five straight games against some of the most pathetic teams in the NFL.  I hate to put too much emphasis on one particular game but I feel this is the tipping point for the entire season.  Win this game and I’ll feel a whole lot better about our chances going forward.  Lose or even have another 4th quarter like the one against the Bengals and the alarm bells will continue to grow louder.