This is a Recap of the Lost Series Finale, “The End”, originally airing on May 23rd, 2010. I have used every possible joke about spoilers and the word spoiler in years of doing these upfront spoiler warnings, so for the last one ever, lemmie just say, “There are spoilers about the show Lost in this.” Hmm, that felt weird. Better just start writing.
Congratulations, everyone…
Six years and 121 1/2 hours of our lives, down the light-drain (in a good way), and it all comes down to this. Time’s a-wastin’ – put on your custom-made Losting caps (if you’re a true fan you made one), cause it’s Lost Series Finale Marathon Recap Time…
ISLAND PUN
The End begins with a dramatic montage bringing us up to speed on Jack’s missing dad-coffin and everything under the sideways sun, forcing everyone at home to very briefly entertain the thought, “They wouldn’t be so ambitious as to have an entire finale with just music, would they?” The dialogue begins on the island and Lost-tasia 2000 is averted, with Jack — symbolically standing up to his knees in baptism-lookin’ water — explaining to Sawyer that they have to beat Locke to the light at the center of the island, past the bamboo forest and beyond gumdrop valley (it’s the finale, might as well go for broke). Hurley isn’t thrilled with Jacob’s instructions though, joking that he “says less than Yoda”, then drops in another Star Wars ref with an “I got a bad feeling about this,” followed by one final “I’m afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.”
Sawyer breaks off to spy on Locke and is quickly caught by Ben, and when he’s forced to talk to Locke, he learns of Locke’s plan to use Desmond to destroy the island, which confuses him because Jack wants to use Desmond to save the island, but the time for questions is over so who’s really jotting stuff down at this point. Sawyer turns the gun on Ben and leaves, and Locke suddenly notices the footprints of a dog — could it be Vincent? Or Walt and he’s a dog now? — and he’s like, “Aha! These dog footprints will allow me, an immortal, magical column of smoke that’s presided over this island for eternity, to find some dude.” The footprints lead Locke right to the vacation hideaway of Rose and Bernard, the We’re Not Gettin’ Involved Twins (why doncha get a cabin in Switzerland am I right?? – World War II Comedian), and Locke threatens to kill them painfully if Desmond doesn’t come with him. Desmond realizes that this will not affect the show in any way, but still obliges.
Ben receives a transmission from Miles, who’s found Richard lying in the grass (toldja he wasn’t dead) and wants the three to reconvene to blow up the Ajira plane. What?? That was already three weeks old last week – are they opening a vintage accomplishments store? Are they even in the same show as everyone else? Maybe Lost is teasing preview clips from the ABC summer series “Plane Blower Uppers”? Hopefully there’s a huge “Plane Blower Uppers” countdown in the corner blocking the important final shot.
Two more important things then happen:
1) Richard finds a gray hair!
2) Richard finds Frank, who has many gray hairs!
The Lost finale is apparently sponsored by that Just For Men “Touch Of Gray” commercial, where the dude’s secretary is like “I’m ready for that important blowing you meeting.” If so, I have been won over by this product twice.
So what’s gonna happen at the cave of light? And what does the ending all mean?? Vincent is prominently involved, right??? Losts more to cover, after the jump:
