The 8 Worst Game Character Makeovers Ever - Page 2 of 2

  • by Patrick Shaw
  • July 22, 2008 00:00 AM PST

#4: Simon Belmont


"Sexy Simon Belmont" introduced in Castlevania Chronicles

Once upon a time, Simon Belmont wore, in the original Castlevania, Viking-style garb that was clearly inspired by Arnold Schwarzenegger in Conan the Barbarian. After the classic sidescroller was remade in 2001 with Castlevania Chronicles, Mr. Belmont's wardrobe was replaced by soft black fur, dyed red hair, and f' me boots, making the man look more like a genderless hooker than Dracula's slayer. Yeeach!


#3: Mega Man


"Helmet-Less Mega Man" introduced in Mega Man Legends

While not as ugly as Bomberman's hellish transformation, Mega Man's new look in Mega Man Legends for the PlayStation was pretty stupid looking. Who did they think they were kidding? Mega Man without his helmet on is like spaghetti without sauce--it just doesn't work, and to make matters worse, it turned out that the man in blue was sporting hair inspired by The Fonz under than helmet of his this whole time. Do us all a favor Mega Man and keep your goddamn helmet on.


#2: Crash Bandicoot


"Punk Crash" introduced in Crash of the Titans

Crash Bandicoot's Hot Topic/fat Goth chick belt, dual tribal tattoo sleeves, and new punk hairdo ensemble is only slightly more tasteful then getting Swastikas carved into your forehead. We can see the reasoning behind this change: nobody really cares about the Australian game protagonist anymore, so a hardened, punk rock edge might be just what the marsupial would need to reboot the series and reclaim Crash's popularity. Unfortunately, like that 50-year-old dude who hangs out at Tattoo shops with his bad tattoos and a Good Charlotte haircut unsuitable for a man of his age, Punk Crash couldn't be further from "cool."


#1: Bomberman


"Evil Bomberman" introduced in Bomberman: Act Zero

In 2006, the creators of the almost profanely bad Bomberman: Act Zero woke up and decided to take their charming little mouthless hero in a white helmet and transform him into terrifying metallic killer with huge Freddy Krueger-like claws. Yeah, great idea, right? But you know what? It's a good thing Bomberman: Act Zero tanked and didn't inspire a trend. What would be next, a Mafioso Mario packing a silenced .22? It may seem far fetched, but make no mistake, the day evil Bomberman was born was a dark day in gaming, and like Dr. Frankenstein bringing his hideous creation to life only to discover the enormity of his mistake, so was the day Bomberman's evil doppelganger was born.

Comments [111]

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neogigames

I didn't even bother with the second page yet because, FINALLY it has been brought to the gaming world's attention that the mask-less Sub-Zero SUCKS!!! That felt soooooo good.

Aegis

I don't know what Kojima was thinking about when he thought Snake should have a mullet.

Se7entySe7en

Maskless Sub-Zero sucks. But I like the new Lara Croft character model. And those are not B-cups. Definitely C. Still, it's a little more believable that she can be nimble and jump through tombs with a C cup than with the ridiculous double D's she had before.

LongHairedOffender

Zexion_VI_OrgXIII *laughs* This was entertaining. Esspecially the Crash, Simon, and Sub-Zero ones. I love these articles. Thanks for the laugh, GP!
You're very welcome dude. Glad you enjoyed it!

ViciousSid

Haha, sexy Simon. Hilarious! I also love Bomberman...WTF were those guys smoking?

Greatness87

oh lara why did she have that damn breast reduction? what feminist is behind this blasphemy?

GEMPadre036

Yeah, this list couldn't be more accurate save for the lack of a spot for " All the Character Redisigns in Castlevania Judgement". That and Crash and Megaman should have been lower on the list, and maskless subzero should have been at least in the top 5. Evil Bomberman... everytime I see it, I die a little more...

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