Gossip Girl

Ep.

Title

Air/Pub'l

Grade

Author

4-3
Recaplet

The Undergraduates

The Undergraduates - Fashion's Night Out, hair yanked out of heads, secret societies, Russian babies, and surveillance détournement... It's all happening on the first day of school!

2010.09.27
2010.09.28
A+

Jacob

4-2
Recap

Je Ne Suis La Belette De Personne

Double Identity - Everybody comes back to the UES intact, while dark forces martial themselves once more against Serena van der Woodsen.

2010.09.20
2010.09.27
A+

Jacob

4-1
Recap

The Reeling

Belles De Jour - Lonelyboy's a babydaddy and Chuck is dead; S sleeps her way through the Paris underclass; B learns the French for "Lord Marcus."

2010.09.13
2010.09.20
A+

Jacob

3-22
Recap

Jenny, King Of The Pirates

Last Tango, Then Paris - Little J does everything she can to destroy New York City.

2010.05.17
2010.05.25
A+

Jacob

3-21
Recap

L.Y.L.A.W.T.F.

Ex-Husbands & Wives - Team Dan/Nate and Team Chuck/Jenny need B to solve the Mysteries of Dr. Will without S finding out, but all B wants is time with Rugby Boy.

2010.05.10
2010.05.17
A+

Jacob

3-21
Recap

The Cutlery Chasing Me

It's A Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad World - Rufus makes it easy on everybody when they must choose between the total mess he's constantly making of himself, or a Baldwin brother.

2010.05.03
2010.05.10
A+

Jacob

3-19
Recap

The Year Of Magical Thinking

Dr. Estrangeloved - Carmen Sandiego finally surrenders himself to the weinery whining of Rufus; Blair, Jenny and Vanessa all make surprising romantic decisions.

2010.04.26
2010.05.03
A+

Jacob

3-18
Recap

Magnets: How They Work

The Unblairable Lightness Of Being - Dorota and Vanya get hitched, and everybody pretends to care.

2010.04.12
2010.04.19
A+

Jacob

3-17
Recap

All You Need Is Kill

Inglorious Bassterds - Assassinations both performative and figurative take place at Nate's birthday party; Jack Bass wins; everybody loses. Especially Little J!

2010.04.05
2010.04.12
A+

Jacob

3-16
Recap

The Old Ultraviolence

The Empire Strikes Jack - Agnes, Jack and Elizabeth are all jerks as usual; Dan and Vanessa go back to being horrible; Chuck goes back to not smiling.

2010.03.29
2010.04.05
A+

Jacob

3-15
Recap

When Concubine Met Catamite

The Sixteen-Year-Old Virgin - The usual far-reaching interests and hobbies of the Upper East Side constrict themselves to one location: The area directly north of Jenny's hemline.

2010.03.22
2010.03.27
A+

Jacob

3-14
Recap

At Least We Burn Trying

The Lady Vanished - Jenny goes nuts, Rufus leaves for DUMBO and Vanessa chooses her future wife, while Serena leads Chuck into a whole new week of danger.

2010.03.15
2010.03.22
A+

Jacob

3-13
Recap

Bet They Collect Things, Like Ashtrays & Art

The Hurt Locket - S & N's dumbness combines into ultradumbness, B & C's crazy combines into a whole new person, and Little J's still made of ticky-tacky.

2010.03.08
2010.03.15
C

Jacob

3-12
Recap

You Be Him + I'll Be Her

The Debarted - Chuck deals with Bart's death, Maureen deals with Trip and Serena, and Lily finds herself unable to deal. Meanwhile, Jenny is a drug dealer.

2009.12.07
2009.12.10
A+

Jacob

3-11
Recap

I'm Secretly On Your Side

The Treasure Of Serena Madre - Thanksgiving blows up once again in the UES, CeCe sprinkles her particular gin-scented fairy dust, and secrets beget secrets.

2009.11.30
2009.12.07
A+

Jacob

3-10
Recap

The Infernal Desire Machines Of Paul Hoffman

The Last Days Of Disco Stick - Serena and Tripp go all predictable, Blair's crazy continues to mosey forward at a leisurely pace, Nate is rad, and the Constance Queen becomes a pirate.

2009.11.16
2009.11.25
C

Jacob

3-9
Recap

We Are Curious

They Shoot Humphreys, Don't They? - Jenny conquers the UES, Blair and Serena make up, and Olivia makes a bunch of terrible, yet boring, decisions.

2009.11.09
2009.11.13
A+

Jacob

3-8
Recap

Truth Even Unto Its Innermost Parts

The Grandfather, Part II - Tripp's Election Night party causes everyone to go insane, Jenny washes her eyes, and Blair finally eats something.

2009.11.02
2009.11.09
A+

Jacob

3-7
Recap

Raised On Robbery

How To Succeed In Bassness - Everybody tries to be a grownup, except one Rufus Humphrey; nobody succeeds, including of course one Rufus Humphrey.

2009.10.26
2009.11.02
A+

Jacob

3-6
Recap

All The Boys Think She's A Spy

Enough About Eve - V and B alienate pretty much everybody, in an all-out war that nearly costs Lonelyboy his movie star lady-friend, while N and S start a war of their own.

2009.10.19
2009.10.26
A+

Jacob

3-5
Recap

Fundamentals Of Botany, 1916

Rufus Getting Married - Everybody brings as much baggage as they can carry to the doomed van der Humphrey nuptials; the fate of Poppy is revealed.

2009.10.12
2009.10.15
A+

Jacob

3-4
Recap

Boobs Are Not A Professional Skill

Dan De Fleurette - Serena pretends to get a new job, which works out perfectly when she... Gets a pretend job!

2009.10.05
2009.10.12
D

Jacob

3-3
Recap

The Song Is The Boy

The Lost Boy - Pilot Inspektor and Georgina stay bizarre, Serena becomes the Dan to Carter's Serena, and Chuck and Blair face off over a vintage photograph.

2009.09.28
2009.10.05
A+

Jacob

3-2
Recap

We Have Always Lived in the Palace

The Freshmen - College starts, everybody freaks out on everybody else, and Flaubert weighs in. Meanwhile, Nate gets a rash.

2009.09.21
2009.09.28
A+

Jacob

3-1
Recap

A Rider Like My Father

Reversals Of Fortune - Serena takes control of the world's media in order to avoid becoming a stripper, Blair and Chuck invent new ways to be creepy, Pilot Inspektor approaches.

2009.09.14
2009.09.21
A+

Jacob

2-25
Recap

What New York Used To Be

The Goodbye Gossip Girl - Class of 2009, welcome to the world. It's not substantially different from high school, especially considering how you're already constantly drinking and screwing, but you're more than welcome to it.

2009.05.18
2009.05.27
A+

Jacob

2-24
Recap

Your Money Or Your Life

Valley Girls - Lily stresses about problems that don't exist, in two different decades simultaneously, but everything works out like by magic. Meanwhile, Blair owns Prom.

2009.05.11
2009.05.18
A+

Jacob

2-23
Recap

Perfect From Now On

The Wrath Of Con - Blair fights Jesus, Serena fights Lily, and Poppy just becomes Selina Kyle once and for all.

2009.05.04
2009.05.11
A+

Jacob

2-22
Recap

Fever Started Long Ago

Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Gabriel and Poppy are up to no good, Blair and Chuck don't even though they could, and Georgina Sparks comes back to the hood.

2009.04.27
2009.05.05
A+

Jacob

2-21
Recap

Your Brain In Spain, Or: Pesach Shellshock

Seder Anything - A bunch of WASPs ruin Passover like you've never seen.

2009.04.20
2009.04.27
A+

Jacob

2-20
Recap

It's My Party & I'll Roam If I Want To

The Remains Of The J - The Humphreys' poor communication skills detonate yet another fabulous social function, sending Serena Spainward and Vanessa into Chuck's arms.

2009.03.30
2009.04.06
A+

Jacob

2-19
Recap

Fated To Pretend

The Grandfather - Blair and Nate get in over their heads and seek comfort in each other, while Lily and Rufus get their worst idea yet.

2009.03.23
2009.03.30
A+

Jacob

2-18
Recap

The Candle & The Mirror

The Age Of Dissonance - Just like getting a whole Lit degree, but it only takes 44 minutes. In this economy, can you afford not to?

2009.03.16
2009.03.23
A+

Jacob

2-17
Recap

Billy Subs In For Jeff & Bil!

Carrnal Knowledge - Dumb schemes, dumber dialogue, deeply uninteresting hijinks: in the embarrassing episode your boyfriend will be bringing up if you ever try to defend this show, Dan dates a teacher, then doesn't, then does. And somehow, people care.

2009.02.02
2009.02.09
F

Jacob

2-16
Recap

Tantrum Of The Opera

You've Got Yale! - It's suddenly Sadie Hawkins week: Lily debuts Rufus; Chuck's 'tude is on full display; Jack remains evil as hell; B and the Plastics ruin the new English teacher; Vanessa and Nate are still the prettiest ladies in the five boroughs.

2009.01.19
2009.01.27
A+

Jacob

2-15
Recap

The Son That Went Missing

Gone With The Will - The big baby secret finally gets out, and Lily and Rufus find the answers they've been looking for; Jack continues to take Chuck's life apart piece by piece.

2009.01.12
2009.01.19
A+

Jacob

2-14
Recap

Where In The Hell Is Chuck Bass? San Diego?

In The Realm Of The Basses - Uncle Jack appears with the broken leftovers of Chuck Bass and everybody deals with it; Jenny attempts to free Nelly Yuki's mind; Rufus and Lily are boring some more.

2009.01.05
2009.01.12
A+

Jacob

2-3
Recap

Sketches For My Sweetheart The Drunk

O Brother, Where Bart Thou? O Brother, Where Bart Thou? - After a game-changing tragedy, Chuck melts down and CeCe Rhodes pays a visit. Everybody else just tries to survive those two crazy kids.

2008.12.08
2008.12.11
A+

Jacob

2-12
Recap

Clone High

It's A Wonderful Lie - B and C date through human puppets; Lily makes up her mind; Vanessa outshines Jenny for the first time in history; Lonelyboy and Serena approach Volume XXII of the Road To Closure; something horrible happens, and it is named Lexi.

2008.12.01
2008.12.08
A+

Jacob

2-11
Recap

Thank You For Not Letting Me Be Myself Again

The Magnificent Archibalds - Cyrus has designs on the house of Waldorf, Lily finally gets scared of Bart, Eric makes a much-needed appearance, everybody ends up at a different Thanksgiving from where they started, and Jenny reconciles with Rufus.

2008.11.17
2008.11.24
A+

Jacob

2-10
Recap

Agnes Troublé!

Bonfire Of The Vanity - B attempts to ruin her mother's new beau, but falls for him instead; Lonelyboy tries to ruin Bart but manages to fix Chuck instead; S's new beau brainwashes her some more; Agnes goes buckwild on Little J's future..

2008.11.10
2008.11.17
A+

Jacob

2-9
Recap

Kenley Ruins Everything

There Might Be Blood - Jenny and Nate leave DUMBO forever; Dan becomes what he hates most; Blair and Chuck have excellent post-breakup chemistry; Serena continues to find Aaron interesting for some reason.

2008.11.03
2008.11.10
A+

Jacob

2-8
Recap

UES Artistes

Prêt-à-Poor J - We can say we hope it will be worth what they give up, but it's doubtful. Blair surrenders her dignity, Dan his superiority, Chuck his room-temperature snakiness, Serena her romantic upper hand, and Jenny her everlovin' mind.

2008.10.27
2008.10.30
A+

Jacob

2-7
Recap

One Week Of Danger

Chuck In Real Life - Everybody gets the option of telling the truth, and half the UES decides to take it; the Bass/van der Woodsens and Archibald/Humphreys start new chapters; Chuck switches up the game impressively.

2008.10.20
2008.10.27
A+

Jacob

2-6
Recap

Love In The Time Of College Applications

New Haven Can Wait New Haven Can Wait - Freshman identity crises? Early admission: Dan and Nate become each other; Blair and Serena become themselves; Rufus learns he's not Jenny.

2008.10.13
2008.10.20
A+

Jacob

2-5
Recap

The Serena Also Rises

Paranoid vs. Android vs. Subterranean Alien - Serena keeps burning her bridges, blowing off Blair horrifically; Jenny is becoming a teenage dropout right before your eyes; Dan and Chuck experiment with their total gayness ; and Lily sleeps in the bed she made -- under strict surveillance.

2008.09.29
2008.10.06
A+

Jacob

2-4
Recap

Cansei de Ser Stupid

The Ex Files - Quite possibly the finest episode of this, or any, television show. Your grandchildren will, in all likelihood, ask you where you were when Serena finally figured out what was holding her back. And then blew it all to hell.

2008.09.22
2008.09.29
A+

Jacob

2-3
Recap

Hareton Earnshaw Will Have His Revenge!

The Dark Night - It's like the Hamptons never happened as everybody manages to shuffle back around to where the cliffhanger left us last year: D/S are kaput, B/C are weird on a level of weirdness they just invented, and -- as usual -- Archibalds ain't nothing but ho's and tricks. Meanwhile: Vanessa Abrams rules! (Mark your calendar.)

2008.09.15
2008.09.22
A+

Jacob

2-2
Recap

The Discreet Charming Of The Bourgeoisie

Never Been Marcused - Rufus comes home; Chuck schemes all over the place and is blocked at every turn; Dan and Serena turn up the heat; Blair Waldorf FTW as usual..

2008.09.08
2008.09.15
A+

Jacob

2-1
Recap

I Don't Want To Get Over You

Summer, Kind Of Wonderful - Hamptons! Mädchen Amick! Farcical hijinks! Crazy random British people! Half-naked everybody! TINSLEY MORTIMER!

2008.09.01
2008.09.08
A+

Jacob

1-18
Recap

Don't You Forget About Me

Much 'I Do' About Nothing - Everybody gets together and then everybody breaks up again.

2008.05.19
2008.05.27
A

Jacob

1-17
Recap

I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You

Woman On The Verge - Serena gets absolution but no resolution, Dan takes a ride on the Sparks express, and Lily screws things up but good.

2008.05.12
2008.05.19
B+

Jacob

1-16
Recap

When You Were A Fever

All About My Brother - The van der Woodsens finally spill their giant secrets, and everybody goes crazy about it; in other news, the Humphreys still have poor judgment in most areas.

2008.05.05
2008.05.09
A+

Jacob

1-15
Recap

Sparks Fly!

Desperately Seeking Serena - The mysterious G makes her appearance, and destroys Serena's new life in about five seconds; meanwhile, Jenny and Nate both make surprising new friends, and we get our first sweet taste of Nelly Yuki.

2008.04.28
2008.05.05
A+

Jacob

1-14
Recap

OMFG!

The Blair Bitch Project - The UES plays host to the return of not only a semi-triumphant Blair, but a mysterious new villain.

2008.04.21
2008.04.28
A+

Jacob

1-13
Recap

Dancing Barefoot

The Thin Line Between Chuck & Nate - Blair worries about bumps, takes her lumps, gets down in the dumps, then pulls herself up by her strappy pumps. In other news...oh, who cares? Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!

2008.01.09
2008.01.15
A+

Jacob

1-12
Recap

That's Just What You Are

School Lies - Vanessa tapes Blair and Chuck's discussion of their tryst, Dan is better than all of us in every single way, and Serena puts up with it. Oh, and Lily totally stands Rufus up wicked bad.

2008.01.02
2008.01.08
A+

Jacob

1-11
Recap

Vanity Blair

Roman Holiday - Merry Xmas! Unless you wanted a stable family unit, and then I guess you should just deal with it.

2007.12.19
2007.12.26
A+

Jacob

1-10
Recap

How Could You Use Our Poor Nate So?

Hi, Society! - Chuck ruins his chances with Blair trying to keep their secret; Lily's mother tries to purchase Serena from Dan; Jenny is a jerk, but it's to her stupid mom, so it's fine.

2007.12.05
2007.12.11
A+

Jacob

1-9
Recap

Felt Up & Fingerprinted

Blair Waldorf Must Pie! - Eleanor does a number on her daughter, the Captain loses his mind altogether, and Dan once again ruins everybody's day by trying too hard.

2007.11.28
2007.12.04
A+

Jacob

1-8
Recap

In Which Alliances Are Declared, And Dalliances Aired

Seventeen Candles - Lots of things appear to change, but not really. Chuck talks Nate and Blair into breaking up so that he can date Blair, but does this in such a way where he's the good guy. Serena and Vanessa pretend to be friends for Dan's benefit, and Rufus knocks boots with his estranged, awful wife.

2007.11.14
2007.11.20
A

Jacob

1-7
Recap

A Truth Universally Acknowledged

Victor, Victrola - One thousand bottles of champagne, one thousand bubbles, and at least ten cherries, all popped: from Jenny's knowledge about Alison's affair, to Nate's familial naiveté and Vanessa's B&E rap, to Blair's storied virtue, all come to a sexy, scandalous head. But this last, to whom? I'll never tell. XOXO.

2007.11.07
2007.11.13
A+

Jacob

1-6
Recap

V For Vendetta

The Handmaiden's Tale - In a post-apocalyptic future world, procreation is strictly regulated by the government. Only one woman is strong enough, unique enough, and pretentious enough to stomp around breaking into homes and acting like a giant jerk anyway. Meet Vanessa Abrams. And tremble.

2007.10.24
2007.10.30
A

Jacob

1-5
Recap

Theories Of The Leisure Class

Dare Devil - Truth Or Dare, a missing kid, and a date gone horribly right: the Von Trapp alignments of the van der Woodsen and Humphrey clans continues apace, and Eric finally comes home.

2007.10.17
2007.10.23
A+

Jacob

1-4
Recap

The Devil Wears Waldorf

Bad News Blair - Eleanor turns girl against girl by offering daughter Blair a modeling job, then giving it to Serena. Meanwhile, a sexy Hobbit comes between Nate and Chuck, but Babe Ruth saves the day. Dan writes another entry in his Judging Journal, where he records the ways he is constantly being wronged, but does it looking swell.

2007.10.10
2007.10.16
A+

Jacob

1-3
Recap

For "College Of Choice," You Put "Ninja"?

Poison Ivy - Blair follows up her best attack yet with a tearful reconciliation, but don't dream it's over! Also in line for tearful hugs are Nate and Dan, and Jenny and Eric, but at least Chuck's in there doing his best to get everybody back on the path to perdition.

2007.10.03
2007.10.09
A+

Jacob

1-2
Recap

Take Your Broke Ass Home!

The Wild Brunch - B and C orchestrate a nuclear meltdown of bellini-spilling at the annual Bass Brunch at the Palace. Also in attendance are S and D, whose relationship falls apart when D realizes S is locked up tight in her world of hellish abundance. Doing just fine? B and N, whose mercenary relationship can withstand anything but the truth, which they're both determined to avoid at all costs.

2007.09.26
2007.09.28
A+

Jacob

1-1
Recap

Chivalry Is Dead But You're Still Kinda Cute

Pilot - It is a jungle out there! Serena realizes that coming home isn't as easy as taking the train from Connecticut, Blair realizes that drama is the perfect substitute for love, Nate smokes a lot of pot and gets pimped out by his father, and the Humphreys sew their own clothes, among other irritating behaviors.

2007.09.19
2007.09.25
A

Jacob

1-1
Extra

Because You're Worth It

Spoilers For The Gossip Girl Series Finale - In gearing up for the show's premiere, let's take a look into Tubey's Waterford ball and see what lies ahead.

2007.09.12
2007.09.12
N/A

Jacob

TWoP Toolbar

Gossip Girl Blog Posts