According to a self-serving Royal Mail survey those between 18-24 feel like Johnny-No-Mates if they don't get at least 42 birthday messages, and even the over-25s need at least 21. Sadly, all too often the poor loves are disappointed: not only are people not sending enough cards, but those that do arrive have no personal messages. Just imagine! A birthday card that only says Happy Birthday. Here are some suggestions for life events that deserve to be celebrated more fully . . .
• "Happy birthday to that special person I know only through Facebook."
• "Congratulations. You are the 100,000th person to lose their job this week."
• "So pleased to hear you've got into university. Here's £10 for you to spend. I hope you find the other £8,990."
• "I can't thank you enough for making me a multi-millionaire by wasting your money on premium rate phone lines" – Simon Cowell to everyone who watches X-Factor.
• "To the best daddy ever" – Nick Clegg to David Cameron
