tesg's guide to big chain road food consumption
you're going to die, why not do it with a big bean & cheese burrito and a lime slurpee in hand?

tesg used to write "food reviews you can't use" for a radio station web site.  The reviews were of fast food places not found locally. 

The theme is expanded here to include chains that typically have (or have had) multiple locations in multiple states that tesg feels compelled to write about

So how quickly will this crap kill you?  Get nutritional information at Dietfacts.com


  • "For here or to go?" (McDonald's employee, over the drive-thru speaker)
  • "Because you're the only one who knows how to make the food." (Taco Bell)
  • "The cook only knows how to make scrambled eggs." (Steak n Shake waitress)
  • "It's not very good." (McDonald's employee, when handing me an ice cream cone through the drive-thru)
  • "They're running a little late and they haven't turned on the grill yet."  (Burger King at 11:15am on a Thursday)
  • "Don't eat here." (Said in a hushed voice by a Jack in the Box employee over the drive-thru speaker)


Amigos Baja Fresh Chipotle
Del Taco El Pollo Loco Panchero's
Qdoba Taco Bell Taco Bueno
Taco Cabana Taco Del Mar The Taco Maker
Taco Mayo Taco Tico Taco Johns
Taco Time Wahoo's Fish Taco
A & W Arctic Circle B-Bops
Back Yard Burgers  Big Boy Burger Chef
Burger King Burger Time Burgerville
Checkers/Rallys Carl's Jr Culver's
Fatburger Five Guys Freddy's Frozen Custard
Good Times Hamburger Stand Hardee's
Hot n' Now Iceberg Drive-Inn In-N-Out Burger
Jack in the Box Krystal Maid-Rite
Mc Donald's Mean Gene's Burgers Pal's Sudden Service
Roy Rogers Runza Sheetz
smashburger Sonic Drive-In Steak & Shake
Whataburger Wendy's White Castle
Arby's Blimpie Camille's Sidewalk Cafe
Hogi Yogi Jason's Deli Jimmy John's
Panera Bread Planet Sub Quizno's
Fish, Chicken, Pasta
Bojangles' Boston Market Captain D's
Chick-fil-A Church's Fazoli's
Ivar's Kenny Rogers Roasters Kentucky Fried Chicken
Long John Silver's Noodles & Company Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits
Cici's Domino's Godfather's
Happy Joe's Little Caesars Papa Murphy's
Papa John's Pizza Hut Pizza Ranch
Pizza Schmizza Round Table Pizza Shakey's
Wieners & Chili
Gold Star Chili Nathan's Famous Skyline Chili
It's Breakfast Time!
Denny's IHOP Huddle House
Shari's Village Inn Waffle House
Ice Cream
Baskin-Robbins Braum's Cold Stone Creamery
Dairy Queen Dippin' Dots Kaleidoscoops
Maggie Moo Marble Slab Creamery
Dunkin' Donuts Krispy Kreme Tim Hortons
Winchell's Donut House