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NotGalifianakis

  1. VOTE for Me at ShortyAwards.com for #Humor! I would really appreciate it! 52,000 followers, 1 vote from everyone would really help!
  2. If Everyone can just take a moment to VOTE for Me at ShortyAwards.com for #Humor I would really appreciate it! Don't forget to put a reason!
  3. The deeper the point of that V-neck is, the more you're showing us how far it is you like to swallow.
  4. "I am Sick and Tired of your Bull Shit!" - guy who takes big dumps and doesn't flush.
  5. You have to a Reason after it says "because..." If not it won't count people.
  6. If everyone can just take a moment to VOTE for Me at ShortyAwards.com for #Humor , I would really appreciate it!!
  7. I was never able to get A's in school but I did get plenty of A'ss.
  8. I was taught better than to judge a woman by her size. Height is nothing but a number, but Weight shouldn't be too many numbers.
  9. I need all my followers to go to ShortyAwards.com and Vote for Me in the category #Humor! Do me the favor! It won't take up your time!
  10. I nominate @NotGalifianakis for a Shorty Award in #humor because he has the funniest tweets! http://bit.ly/shorty
  11. Get paid like I do and sign up to start posting your own money making ads http://mylikes.com/signup?token=zachgalifinakis
  12. When I heard there was a small orange horse that liked a green stick on T.V, I thought GUMBY was on. Turns out it was just @Sn00ki.
  13. The best of Mr. Chappelle http://plixi.com/p/68124453
  14. The only time a man should beat his wife is when his wife is another man.
  15. You may think what happened to those birds is funny, but being a famous black bird himself, Daffy Duck was just put into witness protection.
  16. I taught my penis to play dead. Now all he does is hang himself.
  17. Right off the bat I can make anyone do what I want with a bat.
  18. Simple. You Like it and get a free trial. Doesn't get any better -> http://lx.im/19Bas - ad