ZOO Weekly

HOW TO SCORE A SHAG, NOT A WIFE

17 February 2011
Babe Watch
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Our Threesome babes give you advice to score some bedroom action at a wedding that rivals the newlyweds!










 

EMILY: Rule number one — make sure that you are in the bridal party so you can spend a lot of time getting to know the foxy bridesmaids. Make sure your suit is well-fitting and of the best quality that you can afford — we girls love a man in a suit, so make it count! If you are a terrible dancer, I’d work on your moves a bit before the big day. When girls dream of Prince Charming, they are not picturing a rigid stiff
with a stick up his arse, so get into it!


 


KAT: Weddings are a great hunting-ground for guys! No female goes to a wedding without picturing themselves walking down the aisle, which in turn starts the inevitable thought-process of the ticking clock that is life. This is where it gets tricky: you’re not looking for a wife, you’re looking to score! The best way to go would be to play the foreigner. It’s so hard to resist an accent (especially French) even when we know you’re leaving the country at dawn.


CAMILLE: Number one: waste no time. This is so politically incorrect, but you want to pick the “loosest/skankiest” one of the lot and fetch her a drink (I can’t believe I’m writing this as advice!). Number two: separate her from the flock. It’s easy — just grab her by the hand and lead her away. Step three is where you get your flirt on, which leads to step four: going for it! You’re off alone, boozed-up and charming — these are three green lights! Now, be wary of the aftermath. Once you’re back inside, get away from her, but don’t avoid her. If you happen to pass each other, flash hera friendly smile, or touch her on the arm or something. She’ll make the next move. And if she doesn’t, who cares? You weren’t exactly on the hunt for a future wifey anyway, right?

 











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