Oh, wait, yeah. Yeah. I get it now. It’s some chick masturbating with a mitten while being embraced by a bear starring off into the distance. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. How could I not see that.
I keep coming back and looking at it frequently. It isn’t my style but the artist has talent as a painter. It is just such a weird pairing I wonder what the inspiration was.
hey, you didn’t post the description, it says, “for some reason having a bunch of men dance around in their panties in front of it seems just too perfect.”
ummm…no.
You just know that poor bear is going to need years of therapy, and those mittens better vibrate otherwise they’re gonna be there all day. Seriously. The thing that was shocking to me is the actual painting technique was pretty good, but the subject is so freaking bizarre it seems like it should be painted with poo on a padded rubber wall…
I understand Heather’s blog comments totally. The worst thing for any artist: being boring, being ignored, not having an impact. It’s so hard to shock or offend people nowadays. A negative emotional connection is better than none.
OMG! I suggest an NSFW click-to-view option might be a good idea, what with this and all the vulva art and the needlepoint cocksucking. Hilarious stuff, I’m loving the site and can only imagine it growing like Cakewrecks.
Why does it have to be so damned expensive? I’d love to buy this for someone I know and present it seriously. Think of the social obligation such a gift creates. heh heh heh
I thought I was the only one who found paintings of girls masturbating with mittens on while staring up at a bear who is gazing off into the distance like he totally isn’t fucking her asshole at all.
Guess it really is a small world!
“I understand Heather’s blog comments totally. The worst thing for any artist: being boring, being ignored, not having an impact. It’s so hard to shock or offend people nowadays. A negative emotional connection is better than none.”
And this comment, unfortunately, reaffirms my low opinion of artists in general. It’s not about enjoying the process of creating or trying to make a world a more beautiful place. It’s all about getting attention, just like a little kid.
Her blog post was almost giddy at all the attention, regardless of her impact on other people. Yippee – the world so needs another narcissist.
groove is in da heart
October 18, 2009 at 10:05 am
“I started this shop so I could keep the nudity and naughtiness out of my heatherfuture shop, as I don’t want a mom and child team to stumble upon, say, the Vagina Mary.”
Yes, brilliant. They will never be able to find the shop by visiting your blog, which you’ve linked from your other shop. You’re a genius.
#45 AM: Actually, it is about enjoying the process of creating. But creating and selling are two very different things. Two different skill sets. There’s plenty of beautiful art in the world that is not getting the attention it deserves.
This is not one of them, but …
Don’t think too badly of artists for being commercial-minded. Everybody’s got to eat.
Oh, and I am just gonna throw this out there (whole beastiality ick-factor aside)
all the women out there looking at this thing are imagining and what it must feel like to masturbate with scratchy woollen mitts on and my guess is they are NOT thinking… erotic.
“Check out the images of it hanging in the Artery in Edmonton during Nextfest. I was so excited – for some reason having a bunch of men dance around in their panties in front of it seems just too perfect.”
The seller beat you to it, HK… her “View it in a Room” sure is priceless alright.
Last thing (I know, totally care more about this than I should). Found it interesting that all her other paintings have a long and detailed description of the story behind the picture yet this had none other than the quote above. Could it be that she had no other reason to put this piece together other than she’s good at drawing bears and wanted to make a “disturbing” painting to garner all this attention?
Hey, sex sells right? Even disturbing mitten vajayjay rubbing, by bestiality-committing asymmetrically-footed women embraced by glassy eyed grizzlies. Well, guess we’ll know for sure if she shows up in the sold files
#56 priceless : Oh, and I am just gonna throw this out there (whole beastiality ick-factor aside)
all the women out there looking at this thing are imagining and what it must feel like to masturbate with scratchy woollen mitts on and my guess is they are NOT thinking… erotic.
Oct 18, 2009
11:05 pm
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I think it would’ve been more fair to those taking the time to comment on these items to let them know that the actual ‘artist’ sent this in and is just wanting some publicity for her work.
Goldilocks started her menstrual cycle while she was hobbling thru the woods(because of her deformed foot). She had no one to turn to since she was lost in the woods. Other than the mama bear (the bear has very loving eyes, more feminine than masculine). the bear had nothing else to give her except for the beautifully hand knitted mittens. the bear is reassuring Goldi that all young women, including bears go thru this…
Now shut the hell up and hibernate!
this seems disturbing to me, and i agree about the comment of ‘beastiality’ above…notice how you need to convo the artist to find out about the story behind the painting…odd. i did look at her other etsy stores and they seemed quite sane in comparison. she is a good painter, i just don’t like this imagery…
Hands are only difficult to draw/paint if you think of them as hands. Just think of them as any other random object and look mostly at the negative space around them
..which, in this case would be the yarn covered vagina and creepy-bear-penis
I guess it’s true what they taught us all in Catholic school… masturbation will cause weird things to happen to you, like hair growing on the palms of your hands…and for your left foot to become grotesquely large. And giant bears could grow on your back.
After reading her blog, I am now in favor of the pro-choice vote…once they are able to diagnose stupidity with an amniocentesis (Down’s Syndrome not included).
This one http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/02/bloody-hell-nsfw/ has shock value without resorting to bestiality, not to mention that the torso is more femininely shaped and the feet and breasts are not lopsided. I never thought I’d say this, but I’d actually buy the blood picture given the choice. Although, talking about menses, the mittens do look like tampons with their strings and blood color. (Enough feedback for you, Mlle. Future?)
I, personally, am glad that she has the crocheted yarn connecting the mittens, as if you lost the other- what would you do if you wanted to switch hands and spice it up a bit?
Having put in my years at art school, I recognize how good art connects with the viewer in a way that reaches our collective humanity. In other words, do I feel this work explores anything I can fathom? I mean, more than a nude girl touching herself while reclining on a strangely anthropomorphic bear? If you’re saying that art is often masturbatory, then I commend your subtle genius.
#77, so you’re saying that a woman’s torso needs to have a typical, idealized shape for art to be good? That’s pretty narrow-minded, and honestly quite offensive.
Also, I think the menstruation analogy is actually quite interesting and probably intentional to some degree.
Things we need to take away from this artist:
ALL painting supplies
Afghan weaving loom s/he got in 2nd grade art class & yarn
Blue Pillows
Second hand couches/recliners
Access to the paneling section at Home Depot
Mittens
All nursery rhyme books (Goldilocks and The Three Little Kittens will NEVER be the same for me)
(Add on as necessary)
And what is it with idiot mittens? Can NONE of these people keep up with a pair of mittens that aren’t on a string?
October 16, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Um… where is her other arm?
OMG!!!! the BEAR ate it!
She is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome after the bear ate her arm!
Either that, or the reason the bear is so calm… *winks* you guys know why…
October 16, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Does this fall under the sellers brand of “whimsical art” too?
I sure this bear’s feeling pretty whimsical thinking about his easy dinner.
October 16, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Caption should read:
Yes! Now you can own my own personal masturbatory fantasy for ONLY $2,500!!
October 16, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Bear: “You want me to do WHAT!?
October 16, 2009 at 5:35 pm
OK what the fuck. I know I have seen some pretty messed up shit on this site but what the hell is with this?
Bear with creepy smile? Young girl masturbating while wearing mittens? This just really wigs me out.
Great ‘view in room’ though =]
October 16, 2009 at 5:36 pm
2,500??? but i don’t see her vagina!
and thanks again for letting me view it in a room! made me laugh once more! lol
October 16, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Look how gentle the bear is with his claws! She’s not even bleeding. Awww Although he could be a dear and pop her bilateral ass pimples.
And 36×48! Staring into the cavernous area behind her mitten that the bear obviously dug out would really avert the eye from a large blank wall.
October 16, 2009 at 6:01 pm
I think the missing arm is um, “taking care” of the bear. A reach-behind, if you will.
Disturbing on so many levels.
October 16, 2009 at 6:08 pm
made me literally laugh out loud… and surely will appear in my nightmares… or nightbares… with mittens.
WTF.
October 16, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Oh come on! Surely it’s against the rules to post pictures of bestiality on Etsy? Please tell me it is….
October 16, 2009 at 6:45 pm
Agreed with CrapCrafter. That’s a total reach-behind situation going on there.
Excuse me while I wash my eyes out with bleach. Bleeeck.
October 16, 2009 at 7:19 pm
That’s not fecal matter under her boob and under her mitten. No sir, it is not.
October 16, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Awww, you could put one of her other paintings in your vagina series.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32730236
Don’t quit your day job Heather.
October 16, 2009 at 8:25 pm
I’m so thoroughly conflicted by this: Ridiculous and creepy, obviously, but ridiculously bad and creepy; or ridiculously awesome and creepy?
October 16, 2009 at 8:25 pm
OMFG. I am laughing so hard right now. Tears are involved.
October 16, 2009 at 8:27 pm
The bear isn’t even into it. Somehow, that’s the part I can’t get over. The vacant, staring-off-into-the-distance indifference of the bear.
October 16, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 16, 2009 at 9:31 pm
“bilateral ass pimples”! Haha! I guess this is one way to deal with not knowing how to paint hands.
October 16, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Don’t blame the bear. He doesn’t want to be there; he’s just doing what he has to do to put his kids through college.
October 17, 2009 at 12:16 am
Holy shit…
“2,500??? but i don’t see her vagina!”
Awesome.
October 17, 2009 at 1:37 am
Coming up next: The Big Blue House gets RAW!
October 17, 2009 at 3:05 am
I…don’t … understand…
Oh, wait, yeah. Yeah. I get it now. It’s some chick masturbating with a mitten while being embraced by a bear starring off into the distance. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. How could I not see that.
October 17, 2009 at 5:09 am
Aside from the glaringly bizarre – I can’t get passed why her one foot is so f’n HUGE!
October 17, 2009 at 6:59 am
I keep coming back and looking at it frequently. It isn’t my style but the artist has talent as a painter. It is just such a weird pairing I wonder what the inspiration was.
October 17, 2009 at 7:40 am
hey, you didn’t post the description, it says, “for some reason having a bunch of men dance around in their panties in front of it seems just too perfect.”
ummm…no.
October 17, 2009 at 7:41 am
and somehow, in the context of this painting, stuff like this seems a little more disturbing:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25275208
October 17, 2009 at 7:43 am
Finally!
My problem with bear on human porn is that they never include mittens.
Problem solved.
October 17, 2009 at 8:04 am
Hands ARE one of the hardest things to draw.
October 17, 2009 at 9:55 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 17, 2009 at 10:17 am
The bear feels shame for her, you can see it in his eyes. LMAO
October 17, 2009 at 12:07 pm
what the?!?! so weird. can’t think of any words to decribe. . . .ugh!
October 17, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Good gravy, make it stop.
October 17, 2009 at 1:14 pm
It wouldn’t work without the red mittens. That’s what really pulls this composition together.
October 17, 2009 at 1:41 pm
You just know that poor bear is going to need years of therapy, and those mittens better vibrate otherwise they’re gonna be there all day. Seriously. The thing that was shocking to me is the actual painting technique was pretty good, but the subject is so freaking bizarre it seems like it should be painted with poo on a padded rubber wall…
October 17, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 17, 2009 at 4:45 pm
HUH, weird: http://heatherfuture.blogspot.com/2009/10/regretsy.html
I don’t know what to make of it all.
October 17, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I don’t have a problem with people submitting their own work. I really appreciate people who don’t take themselves too seriously.
October 17, 2009 at 5:05 pm
hey i know that dude…lol ;p
October 17, 2009 at 6:29 pm
I understand Heather’s blog comments totally. The worst thing for any artist: being boring, being ignored, not having an impact. It’s so hard to shock or offend people nowadays. A negative emotional connection is better than none.
October 17, 2009 at 6:32 pm
It’s fucking Goldilocks!
October 17, 2009 at 7:36 pm
OMG! I suggest an NSFW click-to-view option might be a good idea, what with this and all the vulva art and the needlepoint cocksucking. Hilarious stuff, I’m loving the site and can only imagine it growing like Cakewrecks.
October 17, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Too bad the artist asks so little of her audience.
October 18, 2009 at 1:40 am
Why does it have to be so damned expensive? I’d love to buy this for someone I know and present it seriously. Think of the social obligation such a gift creates. heh heh heh
October 18, 2009 at 2:50 am
I thought I was the only one who found paintings of girls masturbating with mittens on while staring up at a bear who is gazing off into the distance like he totally isn’t fucking her asshole at all.
Guess it really is a small world!
October 18, 2009 at 6:15 am
“I understand Heather’s blog comments totally. The worst thing for any artist: being boring, being ignored, not having an impact. It’s so hard to shock or offend people nowadays. A negative emotional connection is better than none.”
And this comment, unfortunately, reaffirms my low opinion of artists in general. It’s not about enjoying the process of creating or trying to make a world a more beautiful place. It’s all about getting attention, just like a little kid.
Her blog post was almost giddy at all the attention, regardless of her impact on other people. Yippee – the world so needs another narcissist.
October 18, 2009 at 8:40 am
I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but this is actually MORE disturbing than Involuntary Emesis.
October 18, 2009 at 10:05 am
“I started this shop so I could keep the nudity and naughtiness out of my heatherfuture shop, as I don’t want a mom and child team to stumble upon, say, the Vagina Mary.”
Yes, brilliant. They will never be able to find the shop by visiting your blog, which you’ve linked from your other shop. You’re a genius.
October 18, 2009 at 10:25 am
Jan Brett is not amused.
October 18, 2009 at 10:44 am
#45 AM: Actually, it is about enjoying the process of creating. But creating and selling are two very different things. Two different skill sets. There’s plenty of beautiful art in the world that is not getting the attention it deserves.
This is not one of them, but …
Don’t think too badly of artists for being commercial-minded. Everybody’s got to eat.
October 18, 2009 at 11:46 am
I feel bad for bears everywhere. I think this may look lovely in granny’s dining room! Anyone?
October 18, 2009 at 11:49 am
@Everydaymama, I’m way ahead of you. Click to view it in a room.
October 18, 2009 at 12:00 pm
The perfect room, btw. Those afghans rock.
October 18, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Smokey The Bear Says only you can prevent forrest fires. And bush fires too.
October 18, 2009 at 3:21 pm
@Helen Killer, now that just screams style in the room! YES!!!
October 18, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 18, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Oh, and I am just gonna throw this out there (whole beastiality ick-factor aside)
all the women out there looking at this thing are imagining and what it must feel like to masturbate with scratchy woollen mitts on and my guess is they are NOT thinking… erotic.
October 18, 2009 at 11:05 pm
“Check out the images of it hanging in the Artery in Edmonton during Nextfest. I was so excited – for some reason having a bunch of men dance around in their panties in front of it seems just too perfect.”
The seller beat you to it, HK… her “View it in a Room” sure is priceless alright.
October 18, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Last thing (I know, totally care more about this than I should). Found it interesting that all her other paintings have a long and detailed description of the story behind the picture yet this had none other than the quote above. Could it be that she had no other reason to put this piece together other than she’s good at drawing bears and wanted to make a “disturbing” painting to garner all this attention?
Hey, sex sells right? Even disturbing mitten vajayjay rubbing, by bestiality-committing asymmetrically-footed women embraced by glassy eyed grizzlies. Well, guess we’ll know for sure if she shows up in the sold files
October 19, 2009 at 5:43 am
#56 priceless : Oh, and I am just gonna throw this out there (whole beastiality ick-factor aside)
all the women out there looking at this thing are imagining and what it must feel like to masturbate with scratchy woollen mitts on and my guess is they are NOT thinking… erotic.
Oct 18, 2009
11:05 pm
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They are? Well my ass ain’t one of ‘em.
October 19, 2009 at 8:48 am
I think it would’ve been more fair to those taking the time to comment on these items to let them know that the actual ‘artist’ sent this in and is just wanting some publicity for her work.
October 19, 2009 at 9:24 am
Actually #60, someone else sent it first. And she’s not the first artist to submit her work to me. It happens every day.
I don’t really care who makes the submission, or why.
Everyone is motivated by something diffrent. I’m motivated by featuring the pieces I think have the most potential for humor.
October 19, 2009 at 11:26 am
Goldilocks started her menstrual cycle while she was hobbling thru the woods(because of her deformed foot). She had no one to turn to since she was lost in the woods. Other than the mama bear (the bear has very loving eyes, more feminine than masculine). the bear had nothing else to give her except for the beautifully hand knitted mittens. the bear is reassuring Goldi that all young women, including bears go thru this…
Now shut the hell up and hibernate!
October 19, 2009 at 11:27 am
FYI peeps, while taking art classes, I had a professor tell me once…”Good art does not match your sofa.”
enough said.
October 19, 2009 at 11:33 am
This one sure goes good with those afghans.
Another good tip: If you have to explain it, it ain’t art.
October 19, 2009 at 1:03 pm
vangoghbabe… your comment made me pee my pants.
October 19, 2009 at 7:52 pm
I will ONLY buy this if I can get those afghans included. Then my room will be COMPLETE.
October 19, 2009 at 8:58 pm
this seems disturbing to me, and i agree about the comment of ‘beastiality’ above…notice how you need to convo the artist to find out about the story behind the painting…odd. i did look at her other etsy stores and they seemed quite sane in comparison. she is a good painter, i just don’t like this imagery…
October 20, 2009 at 6:51 am
“wearing the mitten while a bear looks on” is my new code phrase for masturbating.
October 20, 2009 at 8:22 am
Rodger, that just about killed me. Well done.
October 21, 2009 at 8:45 pm
After some deliberation, I have to say this is my favorite thing on here.
October 23, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Hands are only difficult to draw/paint if you think of them as hands. Just think of them as any other random object and look mostly at the negative space around them
..which, in this case would be the yarn covered vagina and creepy-bear-penis
October 24, 2009 at 11:57 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 25, 2009 at 5:17 am
I guess it’s true what they taught us all in Catholic school… masturbation will cause weird things to happen to you, like hair growing on the palms of your hands…and for your left foot to become grotesquely large. And giant bears could grow on your back.
October 25, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Actually, I’m pretty sure her left foot is the right size and her right foot is either too small or poorly foreshortened.
October 29, 2009 at 7:34 pm
After Bobo the bear stopped working the circus the only job he could get was bestiality mitten porn.
November 9, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 3, 2009 at 2:23 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
December 3, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I, personally, am glad that she has the crocheted yarn connecting the mittens, as if you lost the other- what would you do if you wanted to switch hands and spice it up a bit?
December 8, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Having put in my years at art school, I recognize how good art connects with the viewer in a way that reaches our collective humanity. In other words, do I feel this work explores anything I can fathom? I mean, more than a nude girl touching herself while reclining on a strangely anthropomorphic bear? If you’re saying that art is often masturbatory, then I commend your subtle genius.
December 9, 2009 at 2:19 pm
#77, so you’re saying that a woman’s torso needs to have a typical, idealized shape for art to be good? That’s pretty narrow-minded, and honestly quite offensive.
Also, I think the menstruation analogy is actually quite interesting and probably intentional to some degree.
January 17, 2010 at 11:30 am
I can’t believe I live in the same city as this painter. Kind of scared now.
September 10, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Things we need to take away from this artist:
ALL painting supplies
Afghan weaving loom s/he got in 2nd grade art class & yarn
Blue Pillows
Second hand couches/recliners
Access to the paneling section at Home Depot
Mittens
All nursery rhyme books (Goldilocks and The Three Little Kittens will NEVER be the same for me)
(Add on as necessary)
And what is it with idiot mittens? Can NONE of these people keep up with a pair of mittens that aren’t on a string?
December 27, 2010 at 8:31 pm
I want this, just because it’s such a mind fuck and as I nonchalantly point it out as one of my favorite pieces, everyone will shit their pants.