The Happiness Project

Cultivate Good Smells.

One of my latest, and favorite, happiness resolutions is to Cultivate good smells.

I'd never thought much about the sense of smell, but after some research -- and just paying more attention -- I realize how critical this sense is to my feelings of vitality and enjoyment.

It's a cliche to "stop and smell the roses," of course, but just an hour ago, I had to make an effort to stop and smell the gardenia plant that my six-year-old and I walked past, on our way home from her kindergarten. The gardenia was sitting on the sidewalk, outside a flower shop, and when I saw it, I had to make the micro-decision: Stop or keep walking? I always hear a voice whispering, "Come on! Get this done! You don't have time for that!" so I had to remind myself, "I have plenty of time for the things that are important to me. The smell of gardenias is one of my very favorite smells. There's time to stop."

My daughter and I stopped. The gardenia smelled lovely. So many flowers have had their scents bred out of them -- so often hyacinths and roses don't smell much -- but not gardenias.

A particular scent can bring back memories with an intensity matched by few other triggers. In the most famous example, Marcel Proust recalled long-forgotten memories when he smelled and tasted a Madeleine biscuit soaked in linden tea; in fact, these kinds of involuntary and vivid rushes of memory evoked by the senses are called “Proustian memories.” Gardenias always remind me of my husband.

In my research, I was interested to learn that my happiness affects my sense of smell -- and vice versa. A person in a good mood perceives a neutral odor (like rubbing alcohol) as more pleasant than a person in a bad mood, and doesn’t become as annoyed by bad smells; at the same time, smelling an enjoyable odor can help alleviate anxiety and increase tolerance for pain.

I’m doing whatever I can think of to eliminate the bad smells and appreciate the good scents in my life, and I've been surprised by how much richness and emotional texture it adds to my ordinary day.

Have you found any interesting ways to have more appreciation for the good smells in your life? Or any ways to eliminate bad smells? I've become much more vigilant about our trash area since I made this resolution.

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

* Sally Hogshead wrote a very interesting book, Fascinate: Your 7 Triggers to Persuasion and Captivation -- and she's created a terrific, quick personality test, the F Score, to measure "How are you fascinating?" I can never resist a great personality test.

* Is your book group reading The Happiness Project? (I know a lot of groups were waiting for the paperback release.) I've prepared a one-page discussion guide for book groups, as well as a guide tailored for church groups, prayer circles, spirituality book groups, and the like. If you'd like either discussion guide (or both), email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com. (Don't forget the "1.")

Also, if you'd like free personalized bookplates for your group (or just for yourself or for a gift), email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com, and let me know how many you'd like, what names you need, and your mailing address. I'll mail them anywhere in the world.

"So Many People Detract From Their Happiness By Worry About What Might Happen...and What People Think About Them."

Interview: Alina Tugend.

Alina Tugend writes the biweekly ShortCuts column for the New York Times business section, and she has a great new book that just hit the shelves: Better by Mistake: The Unexpected Benefits of Being Wrong.

One of my most helpful happiness-project resolutions is to Enjoy the fun of failure, and I'm very interested in how to deal with failure and mistakes in an effective and happier way. As Alina points out, although we're told that we learn from mistakes, most of us actually hate making mistakes -- but making mistakes can be an important source of creativity and improvement.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Alina: Reading. I love to escape into other worlds. Also watching Law & Order! The real ones, not spin-offs!

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?
This too shall pass. If you’re feeling bad about something, it will pass. Knowing that the bad times move on, has made me much more able not to collapse in a funk when things go wrong.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
Wishing things could be perfect. They can’t. If you aim for perfection, you’re going to always be disappointed.

And fretting about the future. Worrying about things that may not and often don’t happen.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful? (e.g., I remind myself to “Be Gretchen.”)
Live in the moment. It’s such a cliché, but since I’ve really started to believe it and focus on that exact moment – whether it be talking to my sons or walking outside or eating a hamburger, it’s helped me not dwell on regrets about the past or worries about the future.

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?
I see so many people detract from their happiness by worrying about what might happen. And worrying about what people think about them. We all do this to a certain extent, the but the more we can reduce those two useless activities, the happier we can be.

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
Yes. By, as I said above, being more mindful about the moment I’m in. Appreciating what I have. Hey, I’m not always successful at that, but I try much harder. Someone once said, “Worrying isn’t preparation.” Once I figured out that worrying about something won’t prevent it from happening, I’ve been quite a bit happier.

Have you ever been surprised that something you expected would make you very happy, didn’t – or vice versa?
What I’ve learned – really learned, not just give lip service to: Emphasize efforts and deemphasize results. Good grades and awards and all things we drive ourselves crazy about are important, but if that’s all we care about, it’s empty. Taking risks means we’re going to make mistakes – and that’s okay.

* A few weeks ago, I was on a panel with the fabulous Liz Lange. She told me about the new site she's doing with her sister, Shopafrolic -- "We search. We select. You shop!" As a confirmed under-buyer, I'm not a shopper myself, but even I got a huge kick out of the site, because of the relationship between her and her sister. Beware: if you love clothes, you may spend waaaaaay too much time there.

* Want to get my free monthly newsletter? It highlights the best of the month’s material from the blog and the Facebook Page. Sign up here or email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com (don't forget the "1). Just write “newsletter” in the subject line.

Quiz: Are you a Moderator or an Abstainer, When Trying to Give Something Up?

Every Wednesday is Tip Day, or Quiz Day.
This Wednesday, back by popular demand: Quiz -- are you a moderator or abstainer?

One of the great mysteries of happiness is: why don't we do the things that we know will make us happy? Why do we skip exercising? Why do we eat two doughnuts for breakfast? Why do we buy that thing we don't really need? Etc.

Often, I know I'll be happier if I don't indulge in something. For example, I won't be happy if I eat five cookies -- and I'm the kind of person who can't eat just one cookie.

A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation – and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.” Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen “fake food” treat, Tasti D-Lite, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat Tasti D-Lite twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?" "Does this time ‘count?’” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way – it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of time justifying why they should go ahead and indulge.

However, in my experience, both moderators and abstainers try hard to convert the other team. A nutritionist once told me, "I tell my clients to follow the 80/20 rule. Be healthy 80% of the time, indulge within reason, 20% of the time." She wouldn't consider my point of view -- that a 100% rule might be easier for someone like me to follow.

People can be surprisingly judgmental about which approach you take. As an abstainer, I often get disapproving comments like, “It’s not healthy to take such a severe approach” or “It would be better to learn how to manage yourself” or “Can’t you let yourself have a little fun?” On the other hand, I hear fellow abstainer-types saying to moderators, “You can’t keep cheating and expect to make progress” or “Why don’t you just go cold turkey?” But different approaches work for different people. (Exception: with an actual addiction, like alcohol or cigarettes, people generally accept that abstaining is the only solution.)

You’re a moderator if you…
-- find that occasional indulgence heightens your pleasure – and strengthens your resolve
-- get panicky at the thought of “never” getting or doing something

You’re an abstainer if you…
-- have trouble stopping something once you’ve started
-- aren’t tempted by things that you’ve decided are off-limits

Now, sometimes instead of trying to give something up, we’re trying to push ourselves to embrace something. Go to the gym, eat vegetables, work on a disagreeable project.

Perhaps this is the flip side of being an abstainer, but I’ve found that if I’m trying to make myself do something, I do better if I do that thing every day. When people ask me advice about keeping a blog, one of my recommendations is, “Post every day, or six days a week.” Weirdly, it’s easier to write a blog every day than it is to write it three or four times a week. I don’t know how moderators feel about this. (Moderators – what do you think? Is it easier to go for a half-hour walk every day, or four times a week, for you?)

So...do you identify as an abstainer or a moderator? Do these categories ring true for you?

* Of all the things I've learned from my happiness project, one of the most important is the necessity of good sleep for me. I was fascinated to read this article about "short sleepers" who need very little sleep -- and how many people think they're short sleepers, but aren't. I have no illusions. I'm a long sleeper.

* What? You didn't know that The Happiness Project is now a bestselling paperback? Now you know!
Order your copy.
Read sample chapters.
Watch the one-minute book video.
Listen to a sample of the audiobook.

Podcasts Now Available on iTunes!

Newsflash: yes, the weekly videos for the 2011 Happiness Challenge are now available as audio podcasts on iTunes! Many thanks to the indefatigable Jayme Johnson and Maria Giacchino for doing all the hard work to figure out how to do that. Yay!

To find the podcasts on iTunes:
Login to iTunes
Go to "Podcasts"
Search for "The Happiness Project."

It's free, of course. Don't be confused by the fact that they are labeled "Video." My mistake. That won't happen in the future.

If you have a chance to listen to one, and you like it, please rate it or write a review. I would really appreciate that.

And if you run into a glitch, let me know.

Video: Keep a Milestone Journal. (Or a Milestone Book.)

2011 Happiness Challenge: For those of you following the 2011 Happiness Project Challenge, to make 2011 a happier year -- and even if you haven’t officially signed up for the challenge -- welcome! This month’s theme is Memories. Last week’s resolution was to Keep a one-sentence journal. Did you try that resolution? Did it boost your happiness?

This week’s resolution is to Keep a milestone journal.

You'll notice that I accidentally switch back and forth in terminology -- calling it a "milestone journal" and a "milestone book." Which phrase has a better ring? Or can you think of a better term, altogether?

I'm now offering the videos in podcast form now (well, at least I'm trying.) I hope to figure out a more attractive way to include this podcast code, necessary for loading into iTunes, but bear with me for now -- also, soon I'll provide the information on where to find the podcasts on iTunes.

Keep_a_milestone_journal.MP3_for_Audio_Podcasting

If you want to read more about this resolution, check out…
A new, quick, easy way to keep a non-journal.
6 tips for using mementos to keep happy memories vivid.
8 tips for sparking your creativity.

Have you found any manageable, satisfying ways to keep happy memories vivid? Do you keep anything like a milestone journal yourself?

If you're new, here’s information on the 2011 Happiness Challenge. It’s never too late to start! You’re not behind, jump in right now, sign up here. For the Challenge, each week I'll post a video suggesting a resolution for you to consider. For more ideas for resolutions to try, check out the archives of videos here.

* I'm so happy for my friend, the brilliant, hilarious Debbie Stier. Her fabulous new site, Perfect Score Project, has just launched -- "a site dedicated to achieving the perfect SAT scores (or at least to having fun trying). If I'm lucky, I'll learn something by walking a mile in my teenage son's shoes." Thankfully, my life is for the moment SAT-free, but I visit this site just because it's so fun.

* Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel. To get the weekly video by email, right in your email in-box, you can:
-- On the GretchenRubin channel page, after you subscribe, click "Edit Subscription" and check the box, “Email me for new uploads.” Or...
-- Go to your main drop-down box, click “Subscriptions,” find the GretchenRubin channel, click “Edit Subscriptions,” and check “Email me for new uploads” there.

Why Reading a Boring Article Every Day Actually Made My Vacation More Fun.

I just got back from a very nice week’s vacation. While I was away, I tried an experiment on myself, which turned out very successfully.

I’d been intrigued by studies suggesting that interrupting a pleasant experience with something less pleasant can intensify a person’s overall pleasure. For example, surprisingly, commercials actually make TV-watching more fun. Interrupting a massage heightens the pleasure it gives.

I decided to adapt this finding for my holiday. Along with pleasure reading—I spent most of my reading time on two excellent books, E.O. Wilson's Naturalist and Virginia Woolf's A Moment's Liberty: The Shorter Diary, though there’s only so much reading I can do on a family vacation—I took several long articles that I’d been meaning to read. They’d been sitting on my shelf, cluttering up my precious surface space, weighing on my mind, for months. I knew that if I sat down with them, I could probably read the entire stack in an hour or so, but I never felt like doing that.

So I brought the papers on vacation, and every day, I read one. And, in fact, as those studies would predict, I found that including this small irksome task in my day made my vacation more fun.

First, perhaps counter-intuitively, having a little task to do amplified my general feeling of leisure. Because I did do a little work, when I was reading for fun, it felt more fun.

Second, tackling this work made me feel virtuous and productive. My sense of accomplishment far outweighed the actual work I was doing. (Nothing like a good dose of self-congratulation!)

Third, it gave me enormous satisfaction to throw out that big stack of papers—not to mention the pleasure of gloating over my clear shelf when I returned home.

Have you found that interrupting a pleasurable activity can intensify it?

* I was enjoying this video in which Felice Cohen explains how she has organized her life to fit into a 90-square-foot apartment, because she wanted to live in a certain neighborhood in New York City but not saddle herself with a high rent -- and then got a thrill at the end, when she sits down to read -- The Happiness Project!

* Sign up for the Moment of Happiness, and every weekday morning, you’ll get a happiness quotation in your email inbox. Sign up here, or email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com.

Zoikes. Today is the 5-Year Anniversary of My Blog.

I'm on vacation, so I'm not posting this week, but I realized with a start that I started my blog five years ago, today. I remember so well writing that first post, and the terror of hitting the button to "publish."

In The Happiness Project, I set out to test-drive the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. I kept reading research that showed that novelty and challenge make people happier, so I wanted to test that idea by doing something novel and challenging. I decided to start a blog -- a prospect that intimidated me enormously.

Everything about it seemed hard. I wasn't tech-y. I didn't read blogs. I liked to write long (80,000 words) not short (500 words). I didn't want to feel exposed. I didn't want to have to complete a piece every day. I didn't want to feel chained to my desktop (when I work on a book, I write on my laptop in a library or a coffee shop).

Plus, I didn't think that novelty and challenge would make me happy. I eat the same food every day, I don't much like to travel, I spend all my work and leisure time doing the same few activities; I thought that familiarity and mastery made me happy -- but because of the concept of the book, I had to give novelty and challenge a try.

And guess what? My blog has become a huge engine of happiness for me. Of course, happiness doesn't always make me feel happy, and my blog, to this day, makes me feel frustrated, dumb, angry, and overwhelmed. But step by step, I've figured out how to add the bells and whistles, which has given me the atmosphere of growth so important to happiness.

But even more, the chance to engage with readers has boosted my happiness immensely. The chance to exchange ideas, to hear other people's perspectives, to get pointed to great new resources, and most of all, to have a sense of connection to so many people who are interested in this subject -- I'm constantly struck by how much it adds to the richness of my day.

I fully expected to give my blog a good honest try, and then to abandon it, just as I did my gratitude journal. But my blog changed my life.

Thank you, readers. You've made me very happy.

Start A Vacation.

It's Friday afternoon, and I just said to myself, "Zoikes, I'd better write my post for today! The day is further along than I thought. And I won't be posting for the next week, because of vacation, so today's post had better be good."

Then I had a thought: "Wait, what if I decided to declare that my vacation begins now, today?"

And I must admit, I found the thought irresistible. Spring break starts now! Back in a week!

* Are you thinking, "But, oh, Gretchen, what will I do without reading a daily post about happiness?" Fear not! To read more about happiness over the next week, you can...
Read the paperback!
Sign up for the Moment of Happiness, the daily email of a happiness quotation (you'll get them even though I'm on vacation)
Sign up for the free monthly newsletter (it will come out at the end of the month, as usual).

"I'm a Person Who Has Always Relished Time Alone...the Years of Parenting Toddlers and Pre-schoolers Was Difficult for Me."

Interview: Katy Wolk-Stanley.

I spend a great deal of timing mulling over the relationship between happiness and money, which I think is one of the most complicated and emotionally charged topics within the larger subject of happiness. One blog that I enjoy reading is Katy Wolk-Stanley's The Non-Consumer Advocate -- "use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without." Among other things, she writes about how she has challenged herself to be part of "The Compact" to buy nothing new (and also, to buy very little), with very few exceptions (like underwear).

Katy has thought a lot about happiness, and how to make choices with her money that make her happier. Her approach might not right for everyone, but her insights are thought-provoking and often hilarious.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Katy: I always feel rejuvenated after getting together with a friend. This can be as simple as meeting up for coffee, going for a walk or even combining our errands.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?
I don't think I gave any thought to happiness whatsoever when I was 18. This does not mean that I was gloriously happy, as I was riddled with insecurities about whether this or that guy liked me, was I too fat and feeling bad about being a less than stellar student.

Now that I’m 43 years old, I’m so much more comfortable in my skin, and I make conscious decisions that invite happiness into my life. Knowing that being happy isn’t something that only happens to other people has been a revelation. Barring something catastrophic, I am the deciding factor in my own happiness.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
No. Thankfully, I’ve never been a self-destructive type.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful? (e.g., I remind myself to “Spend out.”) Or a book that has been particularly useful?
The motto that gets me through the hard times is “Every day is a fresh start,” (I actually wrote about this line in The Non-Consumer Advocate blog post just last week.) I think these words to myself most every morning, and I discuss them with my 12 and 15-year-old sons as well.

However awful yesterday was, it’s now in the past and today is now a completely new opportunity.

A book that I’ve returned to time and again has been Amy Dacyczyn’s The Complete Tightwad Gazette. Despite its somewhat dated pre-internet advice, Dacyzyn’s essays, tips and humor never fail to resonate and refresh.

If you’re feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost? Or, like a “comfort food,” do you have a comfort activity? (mine is reading children’s books).
When I notice that life’s stressors are starting to tip the scales, I make sure that I have a few things on my calendar to look forward to. This can be as simple as a lunch date or a quiet foray into my favorite thrift shop. I’ve also found that watching favorite television programs with my surprisingly still snuggly teens to be a wonderful treat. For us, it’s “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” all the way!

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?
I have noticed that a lot of people dig themselves into the habit of complaining about anything and everything; and I can certainly understand the inclination. It’s hard to find the positive side of life when you feel that your sense of humor or personality is based on clever cynicism.

Have you always felt about the same level of happiness, or have you been through a period when you felt exceptionally happy or unhappy – if so, why? If you were unhappy, how did you become happier?
I am a person who has always relished time spent alone. And because of this, the years of parenting toddlers and preschoolers were difficult for me. I felt like I was never able to completely recharge my batteries, and even ended up taking anti-depressants for a month when I found that I was crying all the time. (I stopped taking them because the medication was too expensive, although they did get me to a level where I could handle life without breaking down.)

I’ve worked for 16 years as a labor and delivery nurse in a high risk hospital, which can be quite stressful. I decided a number of years back to focus on the aspects of my job that I love and to not give energy to the frustrating parts. This freed me up to enjoy my wonderful job, without worrying about office politics or other conflict. Of course, the most important thing that keeps me from getting burnt out in my job, is that I’m able to work part-time. This is due to all the frugal choices I make in my life. Totally worth it!

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
It’s hard to say whether I concretely work on being happier, but I have made a conscious decision that I can be happy, even when my life is stressful. In other words, I’m not waiting for that elusive perfect storybook life to start being happy.

Have you ever been surprised that something you expected would make you very happy, didn’t – or vice versa?
Recently, my 15-year-old son wanted to go to a friend’s high school production of “Damn Yankees,” which was unfortunately located all the way out in the far suburbs. I decided that as long as I was driving him, we might as well see the play together. The evening ended up being really fun, and I was surprised by how much we both enjoyed the time and shared experience together. Plus, a few of the high schoolers were impressively talented!

I’ve been surprised by how satisfying writing The Non-Consumer Advocate is. I have forged connections all over the world, and even made good friends within my own city of Portland, Oregon. Blogging turns out to be more interactive than I ever could have imagined. I love my readers!

Anything else to add?
You spent a good chunk of your book focusing on how having a decluttered home was key to your Happiness Project. Having spent the past few years aggressively decluttering my home, I can completely identify with this connection. I used to spend way too many hours agonizing over the tidiness of my house, which was mostly due to having too much stuff.

I am now able to have friends, house-guests and surprise visitors over without the hell of frantic cleaning. My house is not perfect, but it’s never more than thirty minutes from presentable.

It turns out that having a decluttered home was key to my Happiness Project as well! And by the way, I would feel zero offense if you ever came to my house and started to organizing my closets. None whatsoever! [I would love to do that, Katy! Any time!]

* I love checking out Design Mom -- "the intersection of design and motherhood" -- especially the beautiful photos of France.

* Volunteer as a Super-Fan, and from time to time, I'll ask for your help. Nothing too onerous, I promise. Sign up here or email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com. If you're already a Super-Fan, thanks! I so appreciate your help.

11 Happiness Paradoxes to Contemplate As You Think About Your Happiness Project.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day, or List Day.
This Wednesday: 11 paradoxes to contemplate as you think about your own happiness project.

As I’ve worked on my happiness project, I’ve been struck by the paradoxes I keep confronting. As physicist Niels Bohr said, "How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress."

One of my Secrets of Adulthood is “The opposite of a great truth is also true” – and I try to embrace these contradictions:

1. Accept myself, but expect more of myself. This tension is at the core of any happiness project.

2. Take myself less seriously—and take myself more seriously.

3. Push myself to use my time efficiently, yet also make time to play, to wander, to read at whim, to fail.

4. Strive to be emotionally self-sufficient so I can connect better with other people. Only recently have I begun to understand the importance of this idea.

5. Keep an empty shelf, and keep a junk drawer.

6. Think about myself so I can forget myself.

7. Control and mastery are key elements of happiness; and so are novelty and challenge.

8. Work can be play, and play can be work. As George Orwell observed, “But what is work and what is not work? Is it work to dig, to carpenter, to plant trees, to fell trees, to ride, to fish, to hunt, to feed chickens, to play the piano, to take photographs, to build a house, to cook, to sew, to trim hats, to mend motor bicycles? All of these things are work to somebody, and all of them are play to somebody.”

9. The days are long, but the years are short. (Watch the video here.)

10. Happiness doesn't always make me feel happy.

11. Flawed can be more perfect than perfection. In Japanese, there is a beautiful term, wabi-sabi, which describes the special beauty of the imperfect, the incomplete, and the transient. Superficially similar, but actually different in meaning (as I understand it), is the phrase from software development, Worse is better.

12. Spend out, to become rich.

Often, the search for happiness means embracing both sides of the paradox.

Take, for example, #1 above. W. H. Auden articulates beautifully this tension: “Between the ages of twenty and forty we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity.”

What are the accidental limitations, and what the necessary limitations? The first and most important of my Twelve Personal Commandments is to Be Gretchen, and this question is one of the most significant to consider.

What paradoxes of happiness have you discovered?

* My fried Mike Errico is an amazing musician, and he just released this video of his new song "Count to Ten." I love it. I have to say, it seems almost like magic when someone I know sings and plays music beautifully. Or paints a picture right in front of me.

* Sign up for the Moment of Happiness, and each weekday morning, you'll get a happiness quotation in your email in-box. Sign up here or email me at gretchenrubin1 at gmail dot com (don't forget the "1"). More than 25,000 people have signed up in just a few months.