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Integrating Teens into the Life of the Body

Put very simply, many Youth Ministries are functionally churches within the church. They operate separately, they have different names, identities, calendars and generally don't interact a whole lot with the Body as a whole. In other churches, where integration with the whole Body is a concern, effort is made to put teens into roles they are really uncomfortable with. That is...the issue gets forced and never really gets solved. New Vintage Church is serious about the leadership development of teens and church-wide embracing of Student Ministry.

In addition to the things mentioned in the 3 previous posts, here are 3 things you can do to integrate Youth Ministry into the bloodstream of the church: 

1. Youth Ministry mission and vision should match that of the church as a whole. Nomenclature, logos, etc., can be different. But, the primary aim of Youth Ministry should a scaled-to-teen version of the church vision. It's common and fine for Youth Ministries to have a different name, "brand," etc. Just make sure the aim remains the same. If it isn't, it'll create sideways energy in the church and silo the Youth Ministry.
2. Create some direct overlap between the Youth calendar and the church's calendar. This means that when a parent gets their Summer Calendar, some events on there are all-church events (i.e., events the whole church is doing). There's a lot of room for play here, but 20% is a number I like. For instance, one of NVC's summer beach devotionals is going to be advertised church-wide, but it's also listed on the youth calendar. These are small...but it gets.
3. Involve teens in leadership of the church. I don't mean as elders, obviously. I do mean in key roles of service--not just clean-up or in the nursery. At NVC, teens run media during worship, play in the band, help direct set-up and tear-down of assemblies, work in Children's Ministry, and help lead their own small groups. All of these help prepare them for further leadership in the church and build investment in the church as a whole. It also gets teens serving alongside others in the church. Another side benefit is that when teens get the "cool jobs" in church, it makes it more socially acceptable to serve in the church in teen world.

Here's one idea for churches where you play music before/after services: let the teens come up with the play-list. Set the broadest parameters possible...and let 'em go.

What are some other things your churches are doing to integrate teens into the life of the Body?

 

Building a Healthy Youth Ministry, pt. 3 - Cultivating Continuity

The rate of turnover in Youth Ministry these days is rather astonishing. I'm told by Youth Ministers I know that under two years is the running average in Churches of Christ in California. Unless that improves, it will be virtually impossible for the Church to bless and nurture teens the way we're capable of. Below are some tips for church leaders looking to cultivate health and continuity in Youth Ministry in your church.

Serve and Protect.  Take a posture of service, not "accountability" first. Look for ways to bless the Youth Minister and his/her ministry. Don't make it your goal to keep the Youth Ministry budget from growing. Make it your goal to see the Youth Ministry flourish. By "protect" I mean don't let crazy parents have an open shot at the Youth Minister. View yourselves and offensive linemen for the ministers. One of primary reasons people leave is because moms or dads hammer on them freely. Church leaders, always eager to avoid conflict, tolerate it or tell the Youth Minister to stop doing whatever they are doing that is causing the parent to be upset. This communicates lack of support, undermines ministry, and empowers ungodly behavior. If the Youth Minister did in fact mess up, deal with that gently, while showing support by helping them avoid a ministry-ending injury. Also, if they begin taking a lot of hits...their ministry will suffer, and a vicious cycle begins.

Pay them Fairly. This is a tricky one. Here's the way we try to do it. When hiring, separate the "paid" from the "called." Then, pay the called. Look for those who really have a pastor's heart, along with the character, competency, chemistry and fit. Then, pay them more than it takes to keep them alive. Pay them a decent wage.

Care for their family, without giving them a pass to mediocrity. This is a delicate one, as I mentioned in yesterday's post. Not wanting to cheat one's family is becoming the new "my dog ate my homework." That's really sad. What is in fact an extremely important concern cannot become a free pass to mediocre ministry. Instead, leaders need to take it upon themselves to offer some rather easy blessings to the family that will help cultivate health while preserving what's needed for quality ministry:

In addition to the two previous suggestions (protection from massive injury and good pay), I would add flexible work hours. There needs to be a certain bandwidth of time when the whole staff is together. However, Youth Ministry is a night and weekend gig. If they are in the office along with everyone else, and doing Youth Ministry on nights and weekends...hmmm... If someone doesn't want to work nights or weekends, they should choose a different line of work than Youth Ministry. However, the church needs to understand the challenges that can bring a young family and pastor them in a way that would honor Christ.

Freedom. Most ministers...all they want is freedom. Give them absolutely maximum leash to make decisions, create things, make things happen. If you cannot trust them to do these things, you are either a control freak (knock it off!), or you hired the wrong person. It makes little sense to pay a trained, experienced, gifted person tens of thousands of dollars only to do what untrained, inexperienced, likely ungifted (in Youth Ministry) people tell them to do--and then fire them if it doesn't work. If you make the jump to hire someone. Don't tie their hands. If they can't handle it, adjust freedom accordingly--or hire differently next time.

What would you add? What else can we do to contribute to continuity in Youth Ministry?

Building a Healthy Youth Ministry, pt. 2 - Hire Well

Because so many churches in their heart-of-hearts don't really value Youth Ministry, they have a tendency to be less thorough in their hiring of Youth Ministers than other roles at the church. Some of you may disagree with that, citing the lengthy process the "search committee" has done. However, the search committee method of hiring is often one reason why hiring is done poorly--especially in Youth Ministry. A long process does not mean a thorough process. In fact, the length of the seach committee process is one reasons churches find themselves having to settle for "good enough" in their hiring. I'll have to write another post on that subject. For now, let me encourage you to look for the following things when hiring a Youth Minister:

Character. They are striving to grow in a relationship with Christ. They don't have to be sinless. But, their sexual purity in particular must be unwavering and their walk with Christ a priority in their life. Teens deserve a good role model, and a sin bomb in Youth Ministry can be devestating to the church.

Competency. This covers at least three vital areas when it comes to Youth Ministers: Work ethic, emotional intelligence, and follow-through. Do they finish what they start. Look out, for instance, for the minister who is constantly changing the youth schedule, or seems overly interested in protecting their family boundaries. Too much schedule changing sometimes demonstrates poor planning and inability to finish what one starts. Concern for matters at home is right, but enmeshed families can form a nice excuse for dodging responsibility, as well. 

Chemistry. Here, you're looking for authority issues, their understanding of the "team" concept, ability to keep confidences, and the Holy Grail--the ability to see Youth Ministry as a ministry of the Church, not the only thing the church should be concerned about. Tunnel vision is a common trait in ministers in all areas, but I've found that if a Youth Minister has this affliction, they will be at odds with parents, elders, and preachers. They will cause unnecessary conflict because they don't understand the systemic nature of the church. A mature Youth Minister will understand the preeminence of Christ's cause and cherish their role toward it while acknowledging that of others.

Fit. This is a big one. They need to fit the culture of your church, the kids you're trying to reach, and the culture on staff. They can be a little bit different than the adults in the church, but they can't be from another planet.

Look for a Leader, not a Doer. Good ministry requires the recruitment and involvement of others. People gather to leaders, not doers. Leaders easily gather people to charge the hill. You'll better off finding someone who can build a Youth Ministry in which the teens and parents are involved that getting someone just to spend time with the teens. They need to do that, too. But, that model will allow for a Youth Group of 15 kids or so. Building a comprehensive Youth Ministry will allow the church to bless kids in a group of any size. Lastly, leaders will have many of the personal responsibility traits mentioned above.

Look for gifts that can bless the whole church, not just teens. I'm sure a lot of Youth Ministers have an allergic reaction to the concept of a Youth Minister being asked to do more than just Youth Ministry. Their reasoning is good--workload concerns and ability to focus. It's true that many Youth Ministers have been overwhelmed or distracted by such things--and I make this point not to suggest that Youth Ministry is not a full-time job. Far from it. I'm suggesting that without being tied into the broader life of the Body in some concrete ways, tunnel vision will develop and Youth Minister will likely be siloed. At New Vintage Church, DJ Iverson is also our Graphic Artist. When I was in Dallas, Jason Herman served on our Executive Leadership Team. When something like this takes place, not only does the whole church then know them better...they know the church and it's clockworks better. Youth Ministry more organically become part of the whole church. This will work well if we don't ask so much of the YM that she/he actually loses focus. Where does the time come from? It comes from building a Youth Ministry the right way--through leadership not doing. There is always some doing, but the ministry is built to where the Youth Minister is doing what only they can do, while empowering others to serve Christ in other areas.

Thoughts?

Building a Healthy Youth Ministry - Believe it Matters

Last night at New Vintage Church, we celebrated the graduation of our first two Seniors from High School. I was thinking as DJ Iverson stood there blessing them how underappreciated many Youth Ministers are, and of why I believe in Youth Ministry.

I never had a Youth Minister. I went to a smaller church that didn't have the money to hire anyone for Youth Ministry. I didn't come out scarred. I didn't end up in a Juvenile Detention Center. The church was my Youth Minister...and it went fine for a completely different set of reasons. However, I have been blessed to work with some outstanding Youth Ministers. Among them: Phil Baker, Tquan Moore, Brian Mashburn, Jason Herman, and, currently, DJ Iverson. I was also blessed by the ministries of area Youth Ministers growing up in SoCal during it's Youth Ministry "Golden Age." They adopted me into their ministries somewhat during and helped me see Youth Ministry at it's best. This too made me a believer in Youth Ministry heading into my own ministry years.

My own stint in Youth Ministry was limited to several summer internships and a year of interim work. I enjoyed having kids in those years who are burgeoning church leaders like Colin Packer, Darnell Briscoe, Paul Bost, Daniel Henegar and the friend he brought to a lot of YM stuff--DJ Iverson--who I now work alongside in ministry. My Youth Ministry years were short, but impactful for me. Most of my supposed "Youth Ministry" years were spent serving college students--many of whom were, you guessed it, often hugely shaped by their YM's.

I believe in Youth Ministry's capabilities. I believe in Youth Ministers. I've always had a good relationship with the Youth Ministers I've worked with and enjoyed their company. I also enjoy the different take they often have on church life as a whole. I know there are some really bad Youth Ministers out there. But, that can be said of those in all areas of ministry.

I don't believe it's the end-all-be-all, but I do believe Youth Ministry makes a huge difference in churches. If you want to have a healthy Youth Ministry, it starts there. It starts with believing it actually matters. Elders and Ministers often have an ambivalence toward Youth Ministry. Some view it as a sort of child care for older children. Others don't believe in it because they have been around really poor Youth Ministry most of their lives and believe that's par for the course. I believe, however, that Youth Ministry can make an enormous difference in the lives of teens and the life of the church as a whole. This blog series is devoted to that end.

Step One: Believe in it. If you don't, the church won't. If the church doesn't, the ministry will make a Youth Ministry agnostic of all. Youth Ministry at it's worst is really, really ugly. Sadly, many of these cases are the result of poor church leadership that accentuates the weaknesses of the YM and create drag on an already difficult ministry. If you don't believe in it, you'll underfund it, ignore it, be hypercritical of it. If you do believe in it, however, it can play a huge and positive role in the life of the church--and really change the lives of young people.

Question: Do you think church leaders who aren't in Youth Ministry believe in the importance of Youth Ministry? How about churches as a whole?

Thoughts on "Genderless" Child-Rearing

Have you heard the one about the couple who decided to raise their child "genderless?" Actually, that's not a joke at all. It's a true story, and it's dead serious. A Toronto couple has decided to raise their child "genderless," letting their child choose it's own gender later in life. There's a little more to it than this, but essentially, they believe gender should be the child's choice, and it's wrong of parents to choose for them.

I don't feel bad commenting on the situation because the couple is openly talking to the press. Even if they weren't, however, this is a further example of how confused our society has become on the issue of gender. First, that it's ours to choose. Second, that it matters as much as we think. In the Detroit Free Press, Mitch Albom offered some observations worth reading while summarizing some key facts about the story. He notes:

Kathy Witterick and David Stocker have decided that their third child, named Storm and born on New Year's Day, will decide its gender when it is ready. In the meantime, they are keeping it secret, and making their two other children, both boys (at least as far as they're telling us), keep the secret as well.

"If you really want to get to know someone, you don't ask what's between their legs," Stocker told the Toronto Star.

Added the mother in an e-mail to that paper: "Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s(he) wants to be?!."

Among the issues involved in this situation are at least the following:

• Is the child more likely be raised confused or free? Sadly, this child will show signs of confusion--like their other children have. I will also wager that if the issue isn't settled by school-time...school is going to be rough on this child.
• Are the child's civil rights are being elevated to an unhealthy level? Yes. In fact, one could argue that if rights are a part of the picture--the child's rights are being violated by the lack of care their parents are demonstrating here. Children don't raise themselves and they aren't prepared to choose gender or understand what gender means. God gives gender. As far as meaning? Parents are supposed to help with that. To some extent, society shapes gender expectations (for good or ill). My hope would be the Church, under the authority and guidance of the Bible plays a signficant role as well.
• Does humankind have the right to choose it's gender? No. From the creation of the first man and woman--we see God as divine Chooser, not humankind.
• Does gender matter? Who one "is" is shaped to some degree by gender, but gender is also not the sum of the person. I am a man and that has implications for my self-understanding and my way of being. However, that's not all there is to me.

It seems the parents here are both underestimating and overestimating the role of gender in their child's life. On the one hand, they are treating gender flippantly by letting the child be raised "without" one for quite some time. On the other hand, to view gender as the seat of identity as they do is to overestimate it. What matters most is not the right of a person to choose their gender. What matters most is how God created that child--knitting it together in it's mother's womb--as male or female. That issue has already been decided--whether the parents acknowledge it or not.

One more thought: We need to do some thinking on this subject and have good, clear understanding of what it means to be a man or a woman. I know we have assumed gender is a given. That isn't a given any more. I've noticed the church's picture of manhood or womanhood getting hazier over the years. Having a clear theology of gender will be a blessing in the days ahead--not just gender itself, but also what it means to be a man or a woman.

As for the parents, Mitch Albom sums it up pointedly but correctly, "When your child asks, "Am I a boy or a girl?" and you answer, "Whatever you want," you're not being wise, hip, progressive or nonjudgmental, you're just being a fool."

Thoughts?

 

The Throwback - The Power of Just Showing Up

I was inspired by a recent story in the North County Times. It tells the story of Nathan Pedersen--a graduating Senior from Escondido High School. He did something absolutely remarkable in today's world: He showed up. 

Every day.

From Kindergarten through High School.

He didn't miss a single day. Not for illness. Not to go to Disneyland. Not to go the beach. He never missed a school day. He's the Cal Ripken of High School students, and I have great admiration for him.

"If I ever got sick, I'd just suck it up and go to school," Pedersen said. "It didn't bug me too much." He went on to say:"I never got bad grades, but I was never an 'A' student...I just figured that if I was going to show commitment to something, that this was a great example to set for people." 

 The principal at Escondido High School said, of Nathan Pederson, “"Here's a kid who obviously has made school a priority," Watkins said. "In our world, you can be pretty selfish. Here is a kid who has risen above, 'Oh, I didn't feel like it.' In a lot of ways, he is what we want all of our kids to do...Obviously, he is going to be successful with that kinds of work ethic. In some ways, he is kind of a throwback."

We don't laud work ethic the way we used to...or the way Scripture does. A big part of Christian work ethics is simply work ethic. We witness to Christ in our culture by simply showing up for work, and working faithfully. It's a simple witness. It's not really a loud witness. But it's a witness. However, there is still a more important reason we show up and work hard at work every day: because we work for God, not human masters (Col. 3).

When I was part of the secular work force, the difference between the worker who work diligently with a great attitude and the worker who could never be found when the lines piled up or carried around a bitter attitude was stark. That didn't change when I went into vocational ministry. There are both kinds of church leaders and all points in between. Of all people, those in ministry should understand their boss isn't really the Elders. It's God. We should know our calling is important, work consistently, diligently, with an attitude that honors Christ. 

This sense of calling doesn't just apply to those in ministry. It applies to all Christians everywhere. We all have a vocation through which God manifests his work in the world. Let us work as though we believe that in fact it's God we are serving. Let's be throwbacks. Let's be the kind of people that work in such a way our employers come to admire the Christ within us. Today, as we head back to work after a Memorial Day holiday, let's keep the words of Scripture in our hearts.

I love Eugene Peterson's translation of Colossians 3:22-4:1 from The Message: “ Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being Christian doesn’t cover up bad work. And masters, treat your servants considerately. Be fair with them. Don’t forget for a minute that you, too, serve a Master—God in heaven."