To live in dependence upon you.  Far too often I feel like I am still trying to stay in control.  Far too often I exhaust myself trying to make life work instead of putting my confidence in my Father.

To drink deeply of the living water of Jesus.  If you are a parent you’ve probably been there.  One of your children says, "We don’t have anything to eat!  (Maybe after looking in the refrigerator).  You look in the refrigerator and there is plenty of food.  The truth is, he doesn’t have an appetite for what is there.  Jesus has offered me himself and has promised a satisfaction that never ends (John 4:14).  The problem is, my sin may have dulled my appetite for him and so I am looking elsewhere for what only he can provide.

To be a person of integrity and genuiness.  Saturday, sat in the SBC coliseum in San Antonio (where the San Antonio Spurs play) with 12,000 men and boys at a Promise Keepers Convention.  How encouraging it was to see that many men spend a weekend reflecting on what it means to be a man, a faithful husband, and a Godly father.  Rooted in each one of those roles is integrity.  I was encouraged when former NBA great, David Robinson went to the mic and told 12,000 guys that he does not miss playing professional basketball.  He went on to say that winning a NBA championship is not the ultimate.  Years from now that will be nothing but a Trivial Pursuit question.  He said that what really counts is what God is doing in our lives.  How encouraging! 

To love the people who you bring my way.  I want to learn to pay attention to the person who I am with, instead of thinking about someone else who I might talk with in the next hour or the next month.  I want to be a much better listener.  It seems like so many people are longing for a listener–someone who will hear and try to understand. 

To keep my eyes on you so that I can see myself the way I really am.    Brennan Manning has written a number of great books (start with the Ragamuffin Gospel).  One of his recurring themes is that we are genuinely loved by God just the way we are.  Yet, we often do a lot of posturing and present a false front to others in order to gain their love and acceptance.  The truth is I am not perfect.  I don’t measure up.  I still wrestle with sin.  Before God, I am inadequate.  Yet, the perfection of Christ that is now mine is enough!  In Christ there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1).  Far too often I get overly focused on my lack of perfection instead of drinking deeply of his perfection.  I believe that God wants me to see myself as a person who is covered by the perfect one who now lives in me.

I don’t know what you week looks like at this point.  Mine is going to be pretty full.  I do want to begin my week by getting centered.  The only way to do that is to sincerely utter these words, "Help Me God…"    

I do feel overwhelmed by it all sometimes. Today, I was thinking about the circumstances that seem to surround this feeling. Some of them include:

1. Saying “yes” to too many things, which seem to have little meaning or value. I find that when I am in the middle of things that have little or no connection to my work or my gifts that I often feel overwhelmed and exhausted instead of energized. I recall sitting in a long meeting of some kind a few years ago thinking, “This thing is exhausting me! Why am I here?” It had little or no affect upon my life or work.

2. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed when my life and work seem to have lost any sense of priority. In other words, there is a “to do” list in some form, but there is no priority to the list. Consequently, it is easy to eat up a lot of time doing things that just don’t matter and then feeling exhausted at the end of the day. Been there!

3. It is easy to feel overwhelmed when I am taking in too much bad news. I feel this way when I am around too many people who are negative and complaining. I feel this way if I watch too much news and read too many stories about who did what to whom. The other day, I was in my car listening to the news on the radio. They began telling some story about some scandal. It hit me, “Why am I listening to this?” I turned it off.

4. Do you ever feel overwhelmed by trying to make life happen? Maybe you have a certain vision of the way things ought to be. Perhaps you are really focused on moving or getting a new car. You put a tremendous amount of pressure on yourself trying to get in place. I was so convicted many years ago, when Charlotte asked me, “When are we (a soft way of saying me) going to enjoy life?” She saw me so focused on the future and wanting this and that. Consequently, I was missing the moment.

5. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when I find myself trying to change people. I know–God is the one who does that, through the Gospel. Yet, I find that I sometimes think that I can do it. “Surely if I did the right thing, this person would finally be happy.” I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to make unhappy people, happy. I am convinced at this point in my life that there are people who actually find great pleasure in their unhappiness. (I know–not all, but there are some people like that).

6. This one is a cousin to the above. Control freaks are easily overwhelmed. Why? They seem to think that if they can just control every detail regarding a situation, that it will turn out well in the end. Consequently, they hover over everyone involved. They are often fearful, anxious, nervous, and then wonder why the people around them tend to have very little joy.

7. I really don’t want to oversimplify this, but I think that I am sometimes overwhelmed because I just don’t trust God with my life (much less my “issues”) It is so much easier to try to manage God than to simply give it up to him.

Today, I was thinking about how blessed I am to be a part of this church family.  People in this church regularly communicate to me their appreciation and love in many different ways.  God has blessed me by allowing me to participate in this ministry of preaching. This is not about me, my words, my being in front of people, etc.  I believe that preaching is about helping a group of people come to treasure God.  I am not a minister because I am a better person than most, or because I like being in church buildings, or because I like public speaking.  I really believe that God wants me to do this at this point in my life. 
 
I often feel quite overwhelmed.  I try to stay conscious of my sins, my fears, and my inconsistencies.  There are times when I feel alone and "in the wilderness."  There are other times when I feel so encouraged by friends and  fellow Christians.  Sometimes the way I feel seems to mirror life as it is.  At other times it doesn’t.  I don’t know how to always explain such feelings.  I just know that they are there or they aren’t. 
 
In the last few weeks, I have visited with several undergraduates who have told me that they just don’t know what to do with their lives (By the way, college students—be sure to check out this website–Boundless).   Can I ever relate to that! If you had known me when I was growing up, I would be one of the last people who you would pick to one day preach.  I had absolutely no sense of direction in my life during my high school and even during most of my college years.  I was hesitant and pretty reserved.   Both of my daughters are far more mature than I was at their age.  Can you believe that a guy like me would stand in front of people and talk to them about their lives?  In some respects it seems that such a work must take a lot of gall.  In other respects, it reminds me of my own desperate need for God.

Yet, God saw fit to use me in this ministry.  I have a deep passion to see men and women give themselves to the Lord and be used to draw others to him.  We are a sin-mess!  And–all around us, we are witnessing sin destroy families, break hearts, and crush the dreams of people.

So often churches get all wrapped up in everything but what really counts–God and people.  Let me tell you about the kind of people who I see on a Sunday morning.

1. The teenager who feels very much alone and confused. Dad and mom are physically around but have no idea about his world.

2. The divorced mother of two children who is doing good just to be there. She wonders how much longer she can make ends me. She works very hard but day care and expenses are eating up her paycheck.

3. The woman who has an ongoing bout with depression. Someone saw her crying in an assembly and asked her if she was ok. She just nodded her head "yes," not knowing where to begin the conversation.

4. The lonely young mother who stays at home with her children. Her husband is consumed by his career and seems to take no real interest in what is happening at home.

5. The man who sits in an assembly after having filed for bankruptcy that week. He feels like he has failed his family.

6. The widow who is having trouble adjusting to life after the death of her husband. Married for several decades, she is not sure how to move on from here. It seems like some of the couples (their friends) are no longer including her in activities that she and her husband used do with them.

All of that is quite overwhelming to me!   Yet, I think that when we are focused on loving God and treasuring him and caring about people, we are where God wants us to be.

"Things must change" I’ve said.  "We either change or we die."  "Healthy families, churches, etc. will experience and accept some degree of change." I think I’ve made these statements before.

Today, I’m ready to hit the delete button on the above statements.  Today, we make a trip to Harding to help Christine get ready for her senior year.  It is probably the last trip like this since she will be graduating in May.  It’s an annual event.  She drives her car, loaded with her stuff.  Charlotte and I drive the Explorer.  The trip is about seven and a half hours.  We get there and go to a storage place where her winter clothes, shoes, small refrigerator, stereo, shoes, kitchen supplies, etc have been stored for the summer.  We load all of that and then carry it all to the third floor of the dorm.  That evening after it is all done, we will eat at Dixie Cafe.  The restaurant will be filled with other parents and daughters who are doing the same thing.  (I think guys must do this differently).

I can’t imagine this ending.  Meanwhile, the other daughter is a senior in high school this year.   It seems like there are constant reminders of "lasts." Last time to fill out those papers before the school year begins (now that’s ok!).  The other day we picked up our high school football tickets for the season.  We have sat in the same seats every year since she was a freshman.  I looked at those tickets and thought, "What will we do next year?"

I can’t keep driveling like this. 

It all does remind me that things really do change.  I can tell that when I look in the mirror.  Not only are my children growing up but I am getting a little older (notice how I minimize that!).  Yet, I really do think that all of this can be ok.

Life is not about holding on to the past.  It is not about grasping onto our children (or anything else) as we have enjoyed them, demanding that the situation never change.  Life really is about holding on to Jesus.  As the writer of Hebrews declares:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.  (Hebrews 13:8) 

Have you ever known someone who had a knack for saying the inappropriate? I’m talking about those people who say things to others and you just cringe and wish you could hide! My Dad was in the hospital a few years ago after a heart attack and had an Angioplasty procedure (“the balloon”) done to clear the blockage. That evening, after his procedure, a friend of my parents came into the hospital room to “visit.” He leaned against the wall and began talking about a friend of his who had a similar procedure done. He went through this long, detailed story and then paused. My Dad was pretty weak and I remember him asking in a faint voice, “What happened to him?” His friend answered, “Oh he’s dead! That balloon didn’t hold.” I saw the stunned look on my Dad’s face. Then the guy said, “Well I’ve got to go.” And out the door he went. So much for encouragement.

Each day, we make small and sometimes large decisons. In our best moments, we really want to make good decisons. We want to do or say what is appropriate.

I was just thinking about my upcoming week. A few meetings. Seeing various people to talk over where their lives are at this point. Speaking for a church between here and Austin. Taking our oldest daughter back to college. Seeing our youngest daughter begin school this week. If this week is like most, there will be a number of conversations with people that I am not even aware of yet. Too often, I just blow through the day–not really thinking about the moment. I don’t know about you, but when I do that, I often mess up. I say the wrong thing. Do the wrong think. I get focused on me.

What about your week? What do you anticipate? Does this look to be a usual or unusual week? What is going on with your family this week? Anything special that you know of at this point?

Do you know that worship is all about responding appropriately to God all the time? Seven days a week. On Sunday mornings at 10:00 AM there is an appropriate response that we make to God. But what about Monday? What about the decision that you are trying to make as to whether or not to purchase a larger house? What about your decision as a college student regarding the roommate that you are choosing? All of these issues and decisions need an appropriate response. I am called to respond appropriately in light of who I am before God and who he is.

I appeal to you therefore brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

The question is always, “Will I worship God?” Am I making appropriate decisions as a worshiper of God? Does the financial decision that I just made reflect that he really is the one who I worship? Too often, I am afraid that when we think about responding to these various situations, we just do what we want. We rationalize that we are good people, involved at church, etc. and then we live self-centered lives. When we live this way we reveal the true object or our worship.

(The picture above is one of my favorite places. Lookout Mountain in Chattanooga, Tn. overlooking the Tennessee River)

Tomorrow morning, we will be going to a funeral just outside of Dallas.  Ron was in his mid-forties and finally died of cancer after a long, long battle.  I knew him and Judy for many, many years.  Ate wonderful beef stew from their table on many occasions when I was still single.  Laughed with him (he was a cheerful guy who loved to laugh) on many other occasions.  Many years ago, he led singing where I preached in a small town in Pulaski, Tennessee.  (The picture above is the courthouse just as it looked when we were there).  I will always remember those trips together.

Pulaski is about an hours drive from Florence, Alabama where we were living at the time.  Charlotte and I were newly married, still in school, and would make the hours drive to Pulaski every Sunday morning.  The church was small about 75 on a good Sunday.  It was located on Minor Hill highway (I think that’s right) just across from the "round" bank.  We were literally in a store front in a small strip mall shopping center next to the antique store.  On Sunday mornings, the "young adults" had their class across the street in a bank meeting room.  This was a really thoughtful group of people.  They had a room for us at the local motel each Sunday afternoon.  (Since we were an hour from home, it really wasn’t possible to drive home and then come back that night for another assembly).  We had one room, Ron and Judy had another.  It was a great place to rest and then preach again that night.

This was a special time.  Dennon, Joy, J.W., Bill and Sylvia, Jewel,  Mary, Byron and Brenda, Jimmy, the Gulleys, Delaine and many others were so encouraging to us.  These people were very, very patient.  It was a place where we would learn.  We actually lived in Pulaski for a year.  Charlotte taught at Minor Hill School.  I tried to figure out what I was supposed to be doing. 

This was a place of new experiences:  Helping people become Christians.  Standing on a windy hill doing my first funeral for a 26 year old woman who died of cancer.  Seeing the faces of an older couple (who had not been to church in years) light up when they heard that God’s grace meant that he had not given up on them.  Being in conversation after conversation with people who were looking for something more in their lives.  Preaching sermons that were decent and others that were awful and seeing God work through all of that.

There were funny experiences as well.  Helping to lead a young man to Christ and then hearing him ask me if as a part of repentance, he should burn down the church down the street from us.  Bill, the funeral home director who was always making jokes about his profession.  Laughing with Dennon who spoke of "easing across town." (Those words helped me relax).

Tomorrow, when we go to this funeral, I will be thinking about this time in our lives.  I will always be thankful that we shared it with Ron and Judy.

Both of our girls are home this week. Christine has been gone all summer doing an internship in Alabama. This is the first time that we have all been home together. It has been so nice. All of the familiar sounds are under one roof now. This year, Jamie will be a senior in high school. Christine will be a senior in college. There is something about all of this that that makes this time very special. Yet, the other day, I found myself on auto-pilot again. Forgetting how special this is. Forgetting that this opportunity to be together will only become rarer. Instead, I found myself getting upset over nothing.

Maybe I am just more sensitive to this issue right now, but it seems to me that a lot of us are on auto-pilot. While we get exasperated over the way things are at work, church, in the extended family, etc. we miss the moment. These moments are gifts from God, here just for a brief time.

Having lunch with a friend? Are you really present? Are you engaged and listening? Or, is this just another event to check off today’s to-do list?

Are you in a conversation with your son or daughter? Are you really present in the moment? Or, are you preoccupied with what you need to get done before you go to bed?

Are you looking at a sunrise? Do you think for just a moment that God is making this happen? That as creator, he is still sustaining his creation? Or do you immediately turn on the radio and miss the moment?

Maybe you are on the telephone with your mother. She is in the twilight of her life. She is telling you a rather involved story about an aunt and her fourth trip to the doctor. Are you mainly interested in getting off the phone as soon as possible? Or, do you realize that this conversation will one day no longer be possible?

Today, I want to be fully present in each moment that God gives me. These are gifts to be received and opportunities to be embraced. I’m sure I’ll still mess up. Somehow, by the grace of God, maybe I will miss fewer opportunities to experience his gifts.

I was thinking the other day about Quincy Carter (For non-football fans, he is now a former Dallas Cowboys quarterback). He was recently cut from the team while in training camp. Supposedly, he had failed his third drug test. Unbelievable! Here is a guy living out the dream of so many young people and he blows it.

I was thinking today about how often we make decisions in desperate attempts to feel alive. For example:

Not long ago, I was on a flight that had a two hour layover in Las Vegas. There in the airport terminal, I watched men and women sitting at slot machines putting in coin after coin. You could almost sense in some of them the desperation to somehow end up a winner.

Think about the people who you know who have walked out on their children and spouses for someone else. So often, it seems to be a desperate attempt to feel alive again.

Perhaps what is most disturbing are Christian people enprisoned by a dull, lethargy. I’ve seen it for years. Sometimes it can been seen in the glassy eyed person who is just enduring assemblies. Sometimes it is seen in the person who long ago lost any sense of passion or fire for God and for his work on this earth. I’ve seen it in a person whose heart long ago became cold and indifferent. He/she just doesn’t feel anything deeply–that is, anything connected with God. Consequently, this person may have a head full of correct Biblical information and may even live a moral life, but not treasure God. Unfortunately, I don’t just know about this from years of observation. I have been there before.

This is a very dangerous condition. To be familiar with the holy God, the one who brought ancient worshipers to tremble before him or to break out in praise, and yet to feel nothing.

I believe that the only hope for Christians whose hearts are frozen and whose minds have become dull, is a work of God’s Spirit. It will take God himself to revive what is on life support. Only the Spirit of the living God (who by the way raised Jesus from the dead) can revive what is dying (or even dead) (Ezekiel 37:1ff.). The good news, however, is that there really is life to be experienced (John 10:10). We are not doomed to merely exist. There is hope.

That’s the way they looked.  Bored silly!  I saw a couple similar to the picture above just the other day.  They were in another city though you could have easily witnessed a similar scene in Waco.  They were walking down the sidewalk.  Maybe they were in their thirties.  He was charging on ahead and she was trying to keep up with him.  He never looked back at her.  He never spoke to her.  He seemed to be in another world.  He seemed preoccupied with wherever he was going.  You’ve seen couples like this.  Maybe you’ve been like this. 

Sometimes, a marriage seems to loose something.  You both just seem to exist.  You go out to eat and you don’t talk with each another.  In fact, you may never even look at one another.  When marriages reach this level of boredom, there are some who get involved with a person–not his/her spouse.  A recent article in Newsweek addressed this.

Does this mean that the marriage is terminal?  No…not yet.  But it may very well be on life support.  Some people have lived like this so long that they have lost all hope.  They exist (not live) in an effort to endure this misery.

I suppose that some of these marriages will end.  Yet, I wonder what would happen if we began to see one another as a community of believers who exist to support and encourage us in our desire to become Christ-like.  What would happen if we both (husband and wife) put new energy into our marriages before they finally end?

What if:

*We (husband and wife) call upon brothers and sisters to pray fervently for our marriage.
*We invite the elders into our home to pray for our families.
*We seek early on, God-centered counseling, where husband and wife together work on their marriage.
*We ask an older couple whose marriage is worthy of imitation to meet with us periodically to talk with us about our marriage.

Feelings of boredom at times are probably normal.  But–it is very important that these feelings are not just ignored.  As husbands and wives who serve one another, it is important that be attentive to one another.

I don’t know that there is any time of the month more valuable to me in terms of refreshment than July when I am away for vacation as well as a couple of weeks of study. On one occasion during the month, I stayed at a hotel where there was an atrium area near my room. Early one morning, I sat at a table with my Bible, my journal, a newspaper and a fresh cup of coffee.

I wrote in my journal,

…Getting away like this helps–a lot! Too often I let familiarity dull my senses and stifle my curiosity. Being in this place and reading my Bible and just thinking… I needed to do this. I read the sermon on the Sermon on the Mount, the newspaper, and just watching people. This makes me feel alive again.

Perhaps you know what I mean. The words on the page of Scripture really mean something. People become more interesting. The coffee even seems to taste better. (Well it seemed that way).

Today, I have been praying about coming back to work. I pray for the church. I pray for the sermons that I will preach and the class that I will teach. I pray that God will place in my mouth the words that he wants said. I pray for my ministry with this church and in this community. Most of all, I pray that I will be fully alive in Christ as I relate to people in the body of Christ and in our community.

Being away has a way of helping me to clarify what is important. On most days, I really love what I do. Yet, increasingly, I find that I don’t have the energy or the inclination to spend time on things that don’t count.

As a church, it is critical that we not be satisfied with so little…

We can’t be satisfied with having a balanced budget or paying off our existing debt.
We can’t be satisfied with having a large number of people in our auditorium on Sunday morning.
We can’t be satisfied to have some organized ministries that seem to be running smoothly.

We have been called to more than that! We have been called to be a group of people who are sold out for Jesus. Jesus has summoned us! We are not simply a “volunteer organization.” We are the body of Christ, a people who have been summoned to be a part of an important work. We have been called to be a group of people who desire above all else to see men and women become fully devoted followers of Christ. Furthermore, the things that count bring joy, energy, and really do fuel the passion of believers who have hearts for God.