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As of March 30th, 2011, 10:22 PM, Universal Module has been permabanned! Nice work, guys!

Top 10 Donors
Name Amount
1) Mr Wunderbaum$3498.00
2) Ogive$3043.00
3) I Wish I Was$2950.00
4) Baggins$1250.00
5) Coffee Jones$1200.00
6) Missoura$1200.00
7) artard$1000.00
8) Chachikoala$1000.00
9) Dixie Cretin Seaman$1000.00
10) HaroldofTheRock$1000.00
10 Most Recent
Name Date Amount
1) DinictusApr. 1$10.00
2) Instant GratApr. 1$10.00
3) madfuryApr. 1$28.32
4) MoonTunaMar. 31$25.00
5) SkywriterMar. 31$9.99
6) AG3Mar. 31$206.46
7) lax crazyMar. 31$20.00
8) Radio!Mar. 31$10.00
9) LethanialistMar. 31$30.00
10) Darkside434Mar. 31$10.00

What in the Sam Hill is Going On in Here?!

It all started on the Something Awful forums. A user by the handle of "Universal Module" decided it would be a tremendously good idea to post a (not so) subtle request for the general discussion forum ("General Bullshit") to do his/her homework. Not surprisingly, it didn't go over so well. Something Awful is a pay site, and the normal punishment for such an egregious violation of the rules is a ban, where a user has to pay more money to reactivate their account.

Moderator "Abey Sinclair" had something else in mind.

He issued a mod challenge—a demand to produce hilarity or lose your account. Module didn't. User "Jick Magger" did. As per typical mod challenge rules, Magger got to decide Module's fate. On March 15th, 11:45 AM EST, he uttered the following decree:

"I think I'm going to give Universal Module a choice. You're going to be paying 10 bux, either way. You can donate $10 (with proof!) to some organization that helps schools, helps the homeless, or helps the poor with health care, (or, per [fellow user] Dr. Schoofles, Japan Earthquake/Tsunami relief fund). You have until midnight Thursday night."

The other users came to the same conclusion near-simultaneously: Forget banning this guy, we'll donate ourselves to elevate his punishment to a permaban. After the initial flurry of activity, we realized we had generated a sizeable pile of cash, and altruism quickly overtook spite. (Okay, maybe just a little bit. But, it overtook it nonetheless!)

So what happened after that?

Just take a look at the above counters. Considering when it started, the results have been staggering.

Okay, so I get the thing with blood, but what's with the heads, hats, and beer?

During the initial run-up, user "TonTon" mentioned she was shaving her head. "Crunk Abortion" had the idea of donating per shaved head, and user "Baggins" put out the initial bounty: $25 per scalp, plus another $25 for posting pictures for our personal amusement. The response was overwhelming. Baggins quickly maxed out at just over $1000, which probably means he/she will be eating ramen for the next three months, but with a huge smile on his/her face. "I Wish I Was" then took over for a time. [Ed.—at the time of this writing, no one's got a bounty for shaves out, but this could change at any time.]

So, that's what's up with the shaved heads. As always, inquire in the thread to see if there's shaving donations active and who's doing it. You don't want to shorn your (wo)manly locks for naught.

As for the hats, if you're a fan of Team Fortress 2, you'll want to check this out. It was first pointed out by forums user "Knee" in this thread.

Beer is fairly simple. "ReverendCheddar" was leaving Japan after graduating, and a bunch of goons set up a restaurant charity night in her honor, with user "Carfax Report" at the helm. Carfax made a pact with the attendeees; 100¥ per pitcher of beer drank, with a handful of "premium donors" vowing to split a match of the night's haul between them. "zmcnulty"'s company joined in to double the haul, and before it was all said and done, they raised a whopping 244,000¥. Way to go, guys!

Holy cow this is awesome! How can I help?!


You don't have to be a forums user to donate! The only thing being on Something Awful gets you is leaderboard tracking and your name up in lights. Japan needs you right now. Libya needs you right now. A lot of people need you right now! Do some good in the world, it needs it!

If you are a goon, there's a few extra steps to go through to make sure we get your donation marked down. You can find these under "How to Donate" on the left and, of course, in the helpful and friendly GBS thread that started all of this.

What's a goon, anyway?