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Creator Bios
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The Simpsons FamilyGuest StarsThe SchoolTownspeople
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Grampa Simpson
Grampa Simpson

Not many people know that Abe Simpson is a highly decorated veteran of the Second World War. Even fewer people know that he is the inventor of the toilet and the man who made cats and dogs hate one another. No one knows these things about Abe because no one listens to him. In fact, they usually leave the room when he starts to speak. Father of Homer Simpson, grandfather of Bart, Lisa, and Maggie, Abe, aka Grampa, lives in the Springfield Retirement Castle where he enjoys soft foods and company of his friends. Abe was lucky enough to briefly find success in his retirement as a writer for the award-winning Itchy & Scratchy cartoon series. That career came to an end when he publicly scolded the entire cartoon industry at an awards show. He has won no awards since then.

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This is not a library! Hee, hee. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! Come back, big diaper! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog...alright, Sears Catalog Gee, I dunno Way to go, Homer. Bee stings cause me to, uh, die. Release the hounds. Uh, wallet inspector. Who shot who in the what now? Argh! Silence!  You're talking too loud! What about the children! Hi-dilly-ho! This is not a library! We're gonna need pretzels. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! D'oh! My special little guy. What about the children! Ow, my freakin' ears! Happy God! Happy God! Hi-dilly-ho! Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. We're gonna need pretzels. D'oh! My special little guy. I'm going to my room. suck, suck... Ay Carumba! roof, roof... cough... MacGyver! I do. My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say 'dickety' cause the Kaiser had stolen our word  'twenty', I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. She's faking it. I 'ate yer dog. Man, my pants are chafing. Huh, huh. Haw, haw! Hey Simpson, tell your mother her cookies suck! Hey, hey! Excelsior! Everything's coming up Milhouse! Fatty, fat-fat-fat! I bent my wookie.