In a Particularly Bad Week for Romance, Hefner-Harris Wedding Off

The Happy Couple in Better Days

If you’re one of the 300 who received a custom Swarovski crystal-encrusted invitation for the Hefner-Harris wedding this Saturday in Hef’s backyard, you’re going to have to find something better to do since the wedding is officially off amid rumors that Harris has her sights set on a far younger man.

So much for last year’s pre-nup advice to Harris.

Affair or no, the right thing to do

It’s not just the unhappy couple who suffer when a wedding is cancelled less than a week before the I do’s. Guests feel the pain too. In an upscale wedding like this, the invited have surely already chartered their Lear Jets or purchased their non-refundable American Airlines first class tickets.

They’ve booked rooms at the Four Seasons on Doheny or the Peninsula in Beverly Hills, bought festive outdoor wedding finery, and sent their wedding gifts to the man who has everything and the young woman who gave up a fortune for . . . . something I’m sure we’ll learn about in the days or weeks ahead.

In 2008, wedding planner Marcy Blum offered the following advice for those betrothed who once said “yes” but, on re-thinking the whole matter are saying not so much. Here then, is Blum’s list of matters the former bride and groom must immediately attend to.

Let your guests know as soon as possible

For last minute cancellations, Blum suggests that the runaway bride or hesitant groom pick up the phone and call everyone invited. In the age of twitter – where the Hef-Harris engagement was announced on Christmas Day- tweet is the word.

I’m sure Blum would disapprove of Hef and Harris only tweeting their regrets as both did today, but until I hear otherwise, I’m going to assume the classy Hef is doing the right thing and making the calls.

Get back your money.

We’ll assume this is not as important for multi-millionaires as it is for the run of the mill broken engagement, but I’m sure Hef’s people are calling the vendor’s people to negotiate those cancellation fees – a good time, by the way, to trade power and petulance for sympathy.

Blum suggests that “if vendors can rebook the date, they will return most, if not all, of your money.” I’m assuming she’s not talking about planning another wedding party (quick, where are those twins?) but rather a different kind of celebration, perhaps one with a cake that says “I’m available ladies.”

Check Your Wedding Insurance Policy

Wedding insurance? Really? Apparently there are such policies, probably written by the same company that insured Betty Grable’s legs – my former client Lloyds of London. In this case, I’ll defer to Blum’s specialty insurance coverage knowledge – that wedding insurance “only covers situations that are out of the bride’s and groom’s control,” unless bride or groom purchased a “change of heart” rider.

How romantic!

Gifts have to go back, too.

I’d bet my ForbesWoman income (hah!) that Hef and Harris stipulated that guests not send gifts or suggested that they make donations to the blissful couple’s favorite cause. Nevertheless, people will buy them whether you say you want them or not so anything the pair received must be promptly returned. And if these two frisky youngsters couldn’t resist using a few early wedding gifts from Trashy Lingerie on La Cienega or the Pleasure Chest on Santa Monica, they’ll have to buy fresh duplicates for their returns.

The ring too

You see wedding ring disputes in small claims courts or on the Judge Judy Show. Though the law is not always clear on this, I understand from Blum that the etiquette will require Crystal to return the 6-carat rock that Hef gave her on Christmas Day in a Disney-themed box that played music from her favorite movie, The Little Mermaid.

Which really says it all, don’t you think?