SAN ANTONIO – Rumors are spreading that President Obama ordered fires set in Texas. He’s had enough of The Lone Star State!

WASHINGTON – To honor Barack Obama, The White House released a Barack Obama Navy Seal doll!

BREAKING NEWS – Osama bin Laden was spotted in Tehran yesterday!

LONDON – The guest list for the Royal Wedding was revealed. Heads of state are invited – including Muammar Gaddafi!

After years of digging by the world’s top private investigators, they have determined conclusively where Barack Obama was born: Mars!

SAN FRANCISCO – A headband designed by EmSense, is being used by the U.S. government to record brainwaves as citizens watch TV.

WASHINGTON – Doctors have confirmed that Barack Obama has had brain surgery.

WASHINGTON, DC – Budget crisis causes U.S. to turn to the alien, P’Lod, for financial aid.

NEW YORK – Donald Trump’s birth certificate is a fake. He was actually born in Kenya!

CAIRO, Egypt – Scientists plan to resurrect King Tutankhamen to lead Egypt out of oppression.