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Your Tears Are So Yummy and Sweet


Man, I haven't taken this much pleasure in the suffering of a small child in days.  Image via Bureaucrash.

Update: Oy. For the benefit of commenters who don't share my sense of humor, I'm not "going after" Santorum's daughter, who I'm about as sure as one can be will never, ever read this post and have her feelings hurt. Just making a joke about how good it is to be rid of this guy.

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time.

|11.8.06 @ 2:51PM|

The crying girl is one thing, but check out the kid on the far right... what's he seeing out there?

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:27PM|

ATTENTION INNOCENT READERS!
DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT. CLOSE YOUR BROWSWER, DELETE THE HISTORY, AND RUN A FULL VIRUS SCAN IMMEDIATELY.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

D.A. Ridgely|11.17.09 @ 2:54PM|

I predict someday this thread will someday inexplicably link here.

VikingMoose|3.26.10 @ 3:02PM|

not yet

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:08PM|

I predict that I will have written what I just wrote.

VikingMoose|9.23.10 @ 8:01AM|

yes, but that's just a lucky guess.

toshiro_mifune|11.8.06 @ 2:51PM|

The kid with the glasses is a nice touch too.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:36PM|

toshiro,
yer late!

Leonardo|11.8.06 @ 2:51PM|

She is a little old to be carrying a doll like that at a public event. The doll's dress even matches her dress, and why is her brother dressed like a stockbroker? Oh Robin Givhan please chime in on the strange fashion choices of the uber-religious home-schooled Santorum household.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:38PM|

Leonardo knows exactly how old a girl carrying a doll ought to be. Exactly. To the minute. And how to dress them. And their brothers.

|11.8.06 @ 2:51PM|

Wow. Fucking grow up.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:41PM|

what?

VM|10.22.09 @ 5:18PM|

HE SAID, "GROW UP"

you know, like calling the Penguin, "penguin". you're gonna get swatted with the ruler.

lunchstealer|5.6.10 @ 2:41AM|

yeah, but he was talking to the Austrian town of Fucking. He wants that whole village to grow up.

toshiro_mifune|11.8.06 @ 2:53PM|

Nuts, Jake beat me to the punch.

what's he seeing out there?
Perhaps the rest of the Cenobites have come for his dad ?

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:49PM|

Nice recovery. Sort of.

|11.8.06 @ 3:14PM|

Wait...

I don't see the dead one. Is he there?

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:49PM|

1. It's obscure.
2. It's over the line.

|11.8.06 @ 3:24PM|

That's his daughter Sarah, she's 8 years old. So basically because her father has different political views than yours and has been voted out of office after 12 years in the US Senate, you're happy to see her "suffering"? Eight years old is too old to have a doll, especially if that comforts her during a tough time? An eight-year old girl should "Fucking grow up"? When did this web site turn into DailyKos?

I can blame her parents for putting her out on stage as a prop, but going after an eight year old girl for petty partisan reasons is messed up. Man, I hope you guys never have kids of your own.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:54PM|

Dear reader,
If you're still here, keep an eye on this commenter. It gets interesting.
Canadian - know what I mean?

|11.8.06 @ 3:25PM|

I am assuming that the crying one is the 8 year old who is astute enough, despite her age, to know that if you destroy the egg you don't get the bald eagle.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:55PM|

I have no idea what this means.

|11.8.06 @ 3:27PM|

Jon H, no, their child who died in 1996 shortly after birth is not standing up on the podium next to them. Making fun of live children is not enough I suppose, especially for someone you disagree with.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:58PM|

Aha! Someone got the obscure, over-the-line remark. This one seems to know a bit too much about the Santorums, takes it all a little too personally, yes?

|11.8.06 @ 3:27PM|

Wow, I've never seen the thousand-yard stare in such a young kid before.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:59PM|

ProGLib's lying. When he was 11 he once spent 14 consecutive hours staring into his bathroom mirror.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 3:30PM|

Wow. Fucking grow up.

Who? Julian? Or the little girl?

I think the kid with the glasses sees dead people. They don't even know they're dead.......

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 5:26PM|

This was not timely even then.

|11.8.06 @ 3:30PM|

That's his daughter Sarah, she's 8 years old. So basically because her father has different political views than yours and has been voted out of office after 12 years in the US Senate, you're happy to see her "suffering"? Eight years old is too old to have a doll, especially if that comforts her during a tough time? An eight-year old girl should "Fucking grow up"? When did this web site turn into DailyKos?

I can blame her parents for putting her out on stage as a prop, but going after an eight year old girl for petty partisan reasons is messed up. Man, I hope you guys never have kids of your own.

Come now, daddy Santorum never taught you how to laugh?

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 5:29PM|

We forget to close tags on occasion.

|11.8.06 @ 3:30PM|

HI-larious!

Medals all around!

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 5:35PM|

I never got my medal.

|11.8.06 @ 3:30PM|

I guess I'm a bad person, because I found that picture hilarious.

And aaa aaa- Santorum decided to use his spawn as political props. That makes them fair game. What's worse? Laughing at a picture, or using your children as stage dressing?

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 5:46PM|

You "guess"? Show some backbone, you wuss!

|11.8.06 @ 3:30PM|

Wouldn't it suck if your dad's job got your last named turned into a slang word for a nasty, frothy substance?

And yeah, that poor boy is seeing dead people or something.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 5:49PM|

Yeah, and wouldn't it suck if someone stole your comment thread? Ya know what I would do, I would take it back. I wouldn't whine about it. You are also a wuss.

|11.8.06 @ 3:31PM|

"Man, I haven't taken this much pleasure in the suffering of a small child in days."

You should be ashamed.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 5:50PM|

uh-oh. Moral high ground. Self-righteousness. This thing could get ugly.

|11.8.06 @ 3:31PM|

Julian,

That's pretty low class if you ask me. Weren't there any puppies or kittens around to kick when you posted this?

JKP

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 5:52PM|

No one did and who says he wasn't multi-tasking?

|11.8.06 @ 3:31PM|

Yeah, de-italicize that last sentence. Daddy Santorum never taught me how to write.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 5:54PM|

Did you just respond to me from three years ago? I am a little weirded out.

|11.8.06 @ 3:32PM|

aaa: "Jon H, no, their child who died in 1996 shortly after birth is not standing up on the podium next to them."

Not even in a jar?

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 5:54PM|

Still over the line, but kind of clever.

|11.8.06 @ 3:33PM|

While we're on the subject, consider this: One of those kids will:
a) Get pregnant in high school
b) Develop a drug problem
c) Grow up to be gay.
d) All of the above.

When that happens, we can all place bets on when the conversion back to whackaloony Christianity will occur.

Gawd, I love having things to look forward to.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 6:38PM|

Maybe. Maybe one will become a conservative activist, one will be a home school advocate and one will marry outside of his species. You never know.

|11.8.06 @ 3:33PM|

I thought that last night. No way I would have dragged my kids out on that stage. That was obviously a tough night for them, too.

Whether they were there as props, or as support during his hour of need, he made them stand out there on the stage with him. Be an effing MAN, dude. Don't hide behind kids.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 6:54PM|

are you standing up for children? wtf?

|11.8.06 @ 3:34PM|

Sorry for the confusion. I meant that Julian needs to grow the fuck up, not that poor kid.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 6:55PM|

Apology unwarranted. Not accepted.

isildur|11.8.06 @ 3:34PM|

Going after Santorum is never 'petty partisan' anything.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 6:55PM|

This thread actually started very tediously.

|11.8.06 @ 3:36PM|

Number 6: "What's worse? Laughing at a picture, or using your children as stage dressing?"

Both are bad, which is why I criticized both. The difference is the parents made a choice to be there, I doubt the eight year old girl did. I guess if you are opposed to someone's political views, you have to despise and ridicule them, their kids, their deceased children, their kid's dolls, etc. Like I said, it is DailyKos day here today.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 6:58PM|

Ha! It actually turned into Freeper week.

|11.8.06 @ 3:38PM|

I voted against him of course, but I couldn't help but feel a little bad for the kids, since I'm a big softie. However as the guy who came on after the speech rightly said, there are much larger things at stake here. Plus, I couldn't shake the feeling that Santorum decided to bring them on stage only after they started crying.

But anyway, the best part of the speech was when, after she realized what Santorum's speech was about, some idiot lady in the audience screamed at the top of her lungs "OH NO!!!", just ruining the whole thing.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 7:09PM|

The "best part" "ruined the whole thing."

|11.8.06 @ 3:38PM|

No, aaa aaa, I don't have to. But I will anyway, because it's freaking hoo-larious. But go ahead and use that righteous indignation to convince yourself that you're the better person. I'll be over in the corner giggling.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 7:10PM|

He's still there. It got creepy after about a month. It's downright disturbing now.

|11.8.06 @ 3:38PM|

Jesus, it's a funny picture. It's (almost) always okay to make fun of anyone as long as they are not going to hear about it. I assume you're not going to go tell her about us, aaa aaa.

She should count herself lucky anyways. If she gets married, she'll lose her last name. The boy is in is in shock because everyone will always equate his last name with santorum rather than Santorum.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 7:20PM|

Why did you all have to try to steal my thread?! Didn't you realize that I would do domething stupid like this? I have a history, you know. I can be an annoyance.

Jeff P|11.8.06 @ 3:38PM|

I see a "Santorums" sitcom. The daughters are Frowny and Weepy, and their son, who gets laughs each week when he inserts something new up his bum and makes that exact face (with funny sound effect).

Weepy's doll is secretly possessed.

Mom drinks. But she's a funny drunk.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 7:23PM|

That sounds dumb enough to get picked up. We'll call it The Cosby Show.

|11.8.06 @ 3:39PM|

Does the blond women on the podium play the role of Dwight's girlfriend on "The Office"?

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 7:24PM|

Seriously? You think that?

|11.8.06 @ 3:40PM|

That guy has helped to cause a lot of people in PA to lose their jobs and much suffering. He deserves what he gets.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 7:25PM|

A friend of mine likes to say "you write your own ticket."

|11.8.06 @ 3:40PM|

Isildur: "Going after Santorum is never 'petty partisan' anything."

Yeah, but going after his 8 year old girl, and his deceased child, is.

Jon H: No, his dead child was not in a jar on stage with him. Dead kid jokes must be freakin hilarious over at firedoglake. I mean, you would have voted against him in an election, so you have to make fun of his deceased children, right?

Joe: You're 100% right, the kids should not have been there.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 7:27PM|

How long did it take for this thread to become interesting? So far, no it ain't.

YAWN.

|11.8.06 @ 3:42PM|

"Man, I hope you guys never have kids of your own."

No lie, after looking at that picture, I think my tubes just tied themselves.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 7:33PM|

I may have killed the server.

|11.8.06 @ 3:42PM|

I don't want kids for this very reason. They are such needy little cry babies. They are constantly in need of attention.

Hey, if they put her out as a some sort of political human shield all bets are off.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 7:34PM|

Nope. It's ok!

|11.8.06 @ 3:43PM|

"I guess if you are opposed to someone's political views, you have to despise and ridicule them, their kids, their deceased children, their kid's dolls, etc. Like I said, it is DailyKos day here today."

Being a libertarian means that I'm supposed to hate children and old people. But mostly children.

At least, that's what all the leftists tell me.

Therefore your powers to garner sympathy from me are impotent!

MWA-HA-HA-HA!

*Does evil libertarian dance.*

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 11:34PM|

I can't find that on UToob.

toshiro_mifune|11.8.06 @ 3:44PM|

Oh come on people !

At some point you have to admit that crying little fat grils are funny - even if you feel bad for them they're still funny.

The only thing better would be offering her a pony to cuddle away those sorrows and then, at the last minute taking it away and laughing. Repeat as needed.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 11:36PM|

Funnier if you killed the pony.

|11.8.06 @ 3:44PM|

Strange that an Evangelical Christian has a son at Hogwarts.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 11:37PM|

I guess this is still kind of timely.

|11.8.06 @ 3:44PM|

Number 6: giggle away, especially at the dead kid jokes. There's nothing funnier!

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 11:37PM|

That's the spirit!

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 3:45PM|

One of the most recognizable photographs in the world is JFK Jr stage dressed as he salutes his father's casket. You think that salute was spontaneous?

Even the Cubans gave Jackie O a pass on that.

Okay, so Santorums not dead, but it is political given that if there are kids, they are always stage dressing. Win or lose, you'll always see the kids and the flag.

Just sayin'

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 11:38PM|

TWC makes JFK references so we know he's old.

|11.8.06 @ 3:45PM|

Be an effing MAN, dude.

joe, forgive me, but I thought when I first read that that you were directing the comment at the poor, sobbing girl. I hurt myself laughing, then realized that you were talking to Johnny Fontane.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 11:39PM|

I'm typing this with one hand.

|11.8.06 @ 3:45PM|

Looking at the picture again, I'm not sure if she is crying or is preparing to detonate.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 11:39PM|

That's probably the best line yet.

|11.8.06 @ 3:47PM|

"Looking at the picture again, I'm not sure if she is crying or is preparing to detonate."

What? Like Veruca Salt in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 11:41PM|

mediageek can name 83 different ways that a little girl can explode so you need to be very specific for him.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 3:47PM|

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of dead baby in a mug of root beer.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 11:42PM|

More evidence: TWC tells old jokes.

Wild Pegasus|11.8.06 @ 3:47PM|

I think we're missing out on something important in all of this:

That family is butt-ugly.

- Josh

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:34AM|

Why would one type "Wild Pegasus" in the name box then sign "Josh"?

-highnumber

|11.8.06 @ 3:48PM|

aaa aaa- Hey, I don't recall being the one to mention dead kids, nor do I remember laughing at his dead kid. Swing and a miss.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 12:23PM|

aaa aaa was pitching.

|11.8.06 @ 3:48PM|

Exactly, mediageek.

Finally, TWC brings out the dead baby jokes. Please tell as many as possible. I need as many good new ones as possible. (Dead baby jokes have a certain cache in my social circles).

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 12:26PM|

Apparently someone's google wasn't working.

|11.8.06 @ 3:49PM|

I'm w/ Number 6. I especially appreciate the "use your righteous indignation to convince yourself that you're the better person". Goddamn, talk about hitting the nail on the head.

I can't stop laughing giddily at that crap. Couple that with Rummy's frowny-faced resignation, and it makes my week.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 12:48PM|

Wasn't Number 6 the one cracking up the corner?

|11.8.06 @ 3:50PM|

Ah, she's just going to grow up to be another one of the Right's fundie nutjob foot-soldiers anyway. So do we really have to wait until she's a bible-thumpin', homo-hatin' adult before we make fun of her? I think not.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 12:49PM|

steve appoves of bashing anyone he doesn't agree with.

|11.8.06 @ 3:50PM|

One picture is worth a thousand abstinence education classes.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 12:51PM|

That's pretty good. Perhaps a bit too droll.

|11.8.06 @ 3:50PM|

"Isildur: "Going after Santorum is never 'petty partisan' anything."

Yeah, but going after his 8 year old girl, and his deceased child, is."

I didn't say Rick Santorum. I said Santorum, inclusive.

A decent parent wouldn't have brought the kids onstage for the concession photo-op. It's sleazy Santorum politicking, as per the usual. If he wants to score political points for the future by using his spawn to manipulate the emotions of the public, then she becomes a target. Nobody twisted his arm and made him drag her onstage.

Also, she's funny-looking.

Also, her last name is Santorum.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 12:53PM|

This is going to take me weeks.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 3:50PM|

I think my tubes just tied themselves.

Now, THAT, was funny. All in the delivery, I guess.

PJ, you get the prize, or whatever it is, for this thread.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 12:55PM|

Very early to award the prize, TWC.

|11.8.06 @ 3:51PM|

Keep in mind this guy also ran a bunch of ads featuring his kids and how great a "family man" he's supposed to be in the weeks leading up to this. Using them as political tools is a given for him. This guy is obsessed with winning no matter what, which is part of why I voted for the other guy.

He even ended his speech with something along the lines of "this will give me more time to focus on being a good father to my kids". Starting with putting pictures of them crying on national TV. I'm sure that will be a big help to his son in prep school.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 3:01PM|

Crying on national tv has been good for some careers.

|11.8.06 @ 3:51PM|

She's probably wondering who's going to pay for her web based education now.

That and worried they'll actually move back into the tiny home they've claimed as their actual residence all these years.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 3:53PM|

Still on Day One. Oh, this is tedious!

|11.8.06 @ 3:52PM|

I think we have found the cast of Children of The Corn VII.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 3:57PM|

I guess he would know. [guffaw!]

|11.8.06 @ 3:52PM|

How do you get 10 dead babies into a shoebox?

-- A blender.

How do you get them back out?

-- A straw.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 4:40PM|

What setting?
and
Will these little drink stirrers work?

|11.8.06 @ 3:52PM|

aaa aaa,

Seriously, lighten up. The girl will never know about this thread. No one is hurt, and people are laughing.

Besided, Santorum should be blamed for this, and I'm not talking about his decision to bring her on stage. I'm talking about his decision not to abort her and donate her stem cells to Michael J. Fox.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 4:51PM|

Started kind of watery, but had a very strong finish.

gaius marius|11.8.06 @ 4:01PM|

wait... when did h&r become the internet center for shallowly contrived sanctimony of convenience? i thought deadspin was just a couple weeks ago! man, this internet thing is fast!

lol -- republicans and fellow conservatives (if in fact you are), you should be able to take your decimations with more grace than this. laugh at the comitragedy that the outgoing senator has so kindly presented for your entertainment.

At some point you have to admit that crying little fat grils are funny - even if you feel bad for them they're still funny.

precisely, mr mifune.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 4:52PM|

gaius marius was here?!

ChrisO|11.8.06 @ 4:02PM|

Wow, that's very Stepford-looking family. That said, laughing at the misery of 8-year-old girls is not my specialty.

The fundies are already making noises about encouraging Santorum to run for president. Uhh yeah, right.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 5:29PM|

ChrisO's specialty is?

|11.8.06 @ 4:03PM|

Number 6: You are completely right. The whole thread is hilarious! That's why you're in the corner giggling! I mean, you weren't the first to mention it, but it did not (and should not) stop you from laughing uncontrollably. Crying kids, dead kids, it's all comedy gold! You're right, to be a better person I should make dead baby jokes! I should mock eight year olds going through a tough time! I mean, it's not like this is a web site devoted to free minds and free markets, we should focus on the important business: spewing ricidule against any political opponent & their families.

Thank you for showing me the error of my ways, you are so so much morally superior to me in every conceivable way.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 5:45PM|

The thread really could have ended right there, don't ya think?

|11.8.06 @ 4:03PM|

Man, I haven't taken this much pleasure in the suffering of a small child in days.

Hey, if Rick Santorum was your old man, you'd cry too.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 5:46PM|

Really, tho, this thread is just about to get good.

|11.8.06 @ 4:03PM|

I join the ranks of the depraved, I guess, because I saw this photo in the paper this morning, smiled, and hoped that I would see it online so I could email it to all my friends. I had all the same thoughts as the bad people posting here:
Crying girl is funny.
Crying girl is way too old to be clutching doll. Also funny.
Boy is extra creepy. Also funny.
I don't feel bad about laughing. If the girl had lost her father, this would not be funny. If the girl was actually suffering, not funny. The girl's father is going to have a career following his departure from office. He will make more money, not less. He will lose some perks and power. He is a major league asshole. I have no sympathy for him or his daughter. The creepy son has plenty of time to get over it. I spent those years looking creepy too.
By the way, I do have a child. When he cries over nothing (which is often since he is not quite 8 months old), I comfort him. Inside, I smile and think it's cute.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 5:47PM|

So insightful!

jeem|11.8.06 @ 4:05PM|

I'm glad Santorum lost, but you're a dick for taking pleasure in a child's sorrow.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 5:50PM|

Missed!

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 4:05PM|

The kid on the far left, obscured by Guy Smiley, was bawling too. He seemed to be about 15.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 5:56PM|

One thing that amazes me is how many people seemed to have actually watched this event live.

|11.8.06 @ 4:05PM|

Now I see why tigers eat their young.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 5:58PM|

That always fails as a pickup line.

|11.8.06 @ 4:05PM|

Kerry,

I see it more as a eugenics poster.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 5:59PM|

ProGLib's nickname on the internet is "eugenics poster"

|11.8.06 @ 4:06PM|

Santorum decided to use his spawn as political props. That makes them fair game.

I disagree. It makes him fair game. The kids never did anything to anybody as far as I know

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:01PM|

Nice qualifier.

|11.8.06 @ 4:09PM|

Wouldn't it suck if your dad's job got your last named turned into a slang word for a nasty, frothy substance?

Sorry, but only polito-geeks in certain corners of the blogosphere are aware of that slang. It's truly an inside joke, no pun intended.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:07PM|

I would never consider searching google images for "santorum."

|11.8.06 @ 4:10PM|

I'm reminded of Billy Thorpe's "Children of Santorum".

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:10PM|

Dear lord! He revisits that again years later.

|11.8.06 @ 4:11PM|

aaa aaa- Jebus, dude, why not just fall to the floor, pound your fists and kick your legs? Are you always this quick to descend into incoherence?

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:12PM|

How the hell would you know whether aaa aaa was on the floor throwing this tantrum?

|11.8.06 @ 4:11PM|

aaa aaa:

Yeah, and there's nothing fucking CREEPIER than a family sitting around cooing and lavishing love on an infant corpse in their living room. I'll admit, that's not funny...that's fuckin sick.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:13PM|

Well, it takes a bigger man to admit that his enemies are sickos, or something like that.

M|11.8.06 @ 4:12PM|

"The ML [Modal Libertarian] does not, unfortunately, hate the State because he sees it as the unique social instrument of organized aggression against person and property. Instead, the ML is an adolescent rebel against everyone around him: first, against his parents, second against his family, third against his neighbours, and finally against society itself … The ML also has the thousand-mile stare of the fanatic." ~ Hans-Herman Hoppe, Democracy: The God That Failed, p. 206, Footnote #22

Is that the stare that equips the ML to surpass traditionalists in tackiness? Leave the kids alone; they've been exploited enough.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:15PM|

I would have thought that this comment of M's would have ended all this.

Jesse Walker|11.8.06 @ 4:12PM|

I don't think crying girls are funny. But I do like South Park references.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:16PM|

well, la-di-da!

|11.8.06 @ 4:12PM|

Rick Jr. (or, "little dick" as he's known around the house) was actually weeping his eyes out too during the concession speech. They just caught him in a stunned moment where he contemplating what Dad had told him =

"If I'm not re-elected, Democrats are going to gay-up every red blooded male in America, and everyones going to burn in Hell for eternity"

I actually dont know his name, but he was crying. I wanted to hit him and take his milk money. Then tear the head off of his daughters doll, and start doing a sassy gay strip routine directed at Rick, making him 'froth' with rage.

This is all just emotional payback for so many weeks of dumb political news

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:17PM|

GILMORE got a job as a cable tv pundit based on this comment.

|11.8.06 @ 4:12PM|

Maybe she's sad that he's going to be home more often? Was this picture taken right after he made that statement?

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:19PM|

Problems at home, Felcher?

|11.8.06 @ 4:14PM|

The girl will never know about this thread.

Maybe not this thread in specific, but that pic will make the rounds, for sure. It'll get back to her, along with the vitriol.

In 20 or so years, when l'il Sarah, after years of training with mysterious masters of secret deadly martial arts comes back and caves in Sanchez' head with her pinky finger, I'll say, "eh, I guess he had that coming."

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:51PM|

No, you would say, "I totally called that!"

|11.8.06 @ 4:15PM|

Evan, are you implying that they do have the body of their infant on display?

no way!

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:52PM|

way?

|11.8.06 @ 4:16PM|

Now I see why tigers eat their young.

Hey, that's my gig.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 6:55PM|

This comment added nothing.

B|11.8.06 @ 4:16PM|

(sigh)

The fact that Julian's post is immature and mean-spirited does not in any way undermine the fact that it is also hillarious.

If this is the worst thing Rick Santorum's daughter ever endures, she's very, very lucky.

highnumber|10.25.09 @ 10:57AM|

I am starting to check if the blogs that people link to in their names are still valid. B's is.

|11.8.06 @ 4:16PM|

Holy fuck, would you people just relax? It's not like anyone is up in the little girl's face screaming "boooyaaaah, ya little twat! Daddy LOST! Your daddy sucks, so do you! Now you're gonna have to move to the poorhouse! HAHAHAHA!" No, it's a few people having a laugh at a photograph in the comfort of their computer. Oh, god, how immoral! Humorless idiots.

highnumber|10.25.09 @ 10:58AM|

I am not verifying email addresses.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 4:16PM|

Hey, when I was a little fat girl I didn't think it was funny at all.

highnumber|10.25.09 @ 11:00AM|

I don't need to verify TWC's blog status. Of course he's still there. If you haven't, I recommend you check it out.

|11.8.06 @ 4:17PM|

Here you go, enjoy:

http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/

Good thing Sanchez posted this update: "For the benefit of commenters who don't share my sense of humor, I'm not 'going after' Santorum's daughter"

Who could possibly assume that based on this statement "Man, I haven't taken this much pleasure in the suffering of a small child in days"?

Plus, I thought we all established here there's no problem ridiculing the children of opponents? Join in the fun, pile on! Otherwise you are full of "righteous indignation", and you don't want that.

highnumber|10.25.09 @ 11:01AM|

Remember: Canadian.

|11.8.06 @ 4:18PM|

Felcher,

no, I was not implying anything---I was stating how sick it was for the Santorum family to cuddle and love and spend time lavishing affection on a corpse in their living room. That's all.

highnumber|10.26.09 @ 2:01PM|

Once upon a time, weren't all wakes held in the front room?

|11.8.06 @ 4:19PM|

FARKED!

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:26PM|

Is Fark one of those things whose time has passed?

|11.8.06 @ 4:19PM|

Hold on, GILMORE, I'm seeing a pattern. First, I noted the child's thousand-yard stare. Then M notes above that the thousand-yard stare is an attribute of a libertarian. Could Son of Santorum be the Libertarian Messiah that we've been waiting for? Sweater-vest clad for liberty.

Julian, you most certainly were going after the daughter. Tsk, tsk. I'd update my disclaimer with a counter disclaimer. Maybe authored by Kerry, saying "Nah, Julian's mocking the girl. But the boy freaks him out".

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:27PM|

Bossy bastard, innint he?

|11.8.06 @ 4:20PM|

Evan!

Did they really do that?

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:44PM|

Not sure someone with an exclamation point in their name should be considered a reliable source.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 4:20PM|

I've forgotten most of the best dead baby jokes but here goes........

Difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of golf balls?

You cannot unload a truckload of golf balls with a pitchfork.

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:41PM|

He's forgotten because he's so old.

|11.8.06 @ 4:21PM|

Yes, the Santorums have a rough future ahead of them, what with their father returning to his position as a partner at Kirkpatrick & Lockhart, increasing the firm's lobbying practice, and pulling down $2-3 mil for bringin in all the Republican and religious conservative work.

Tear.

highnumber|1.3.10 @ 11:46PM|

At this point, I could check to see what Santorum really is up to, but I won't.

|11.8.06 @ 4:21PM|

"Plus, I thought we all established here there's no problem ridiculing the children of opponents?"

Rick's not just an "opponent", he's a hateful scumbag who likens homosexuality to fornicating with goats. Let's not sugar-coat this bastard, okay?

Damn, not only are you full of righteous indignation, you're also devoid of any levity or capacity for humor. Way to turn this lighthearted situation into a matter of somber importance. Ugh. I bet you're the life of the party.

highnumber|1.3.10 @ 11:47PM|

Calmer than you, dude.

|11.8.06 @ 4:22PM|

Number 6: "aaa aaa- Jebus, dude, why not just fall to the floor, pound your fists and kick your legs? Are you always this quick to descend into incoherence?"

No, but you're quicker to invoke Jebus. I hope you're not some kind of bible thumping freak like Santorum, because I am revising my moral worldview based on your example. I mean, look at the necklace his 8 year old is wearing. It's a cross! Might was well be a swastika!

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:14PM|

It's a maple leaf.

|11.8.06 @ 4:22PM|

"Evan, are you implying that they do have the body of their infant on display?

no way!"

In the book Santorum wrote, he revealed that they brought their dead baby home for the night.

Presumably, they took it to a funeral home for burial, but, you know, maybe they gave the funeral home a cabbage patch kid.

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:17PM|

Maybe they did. Maybe.

|11.8.06 @ 4:23PM|

I'm with David. I spent several minutes wondering why the kid who played Crabbe in the movie was in that picture, and in costume no less.

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:25PM|

Karen, tell David I said "hi!"

|11.8.06 @ 4:23PM|

Mediageek: they did indeed. Their infant child died, and they spent the next day passing the corpse around the living room, lavishing it with love and treating it as if it were alive. Fucking creepy, I tells ya.

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:41PM|

No, it's "I tell you."

|11.8.06 @ 4:24PM|

*sigh*

The girl was probably just tired. It was midnight or something after all. Plus everyone was upset, plus she was wearing that awful dress with waaayyy too much starch in it, plus it was probably reallly boring there.

I think Santorum is an evil twat and I experienced a level of schadenfreude at his concession speech that was a new high for me. Still, I felt for the poor kid. My immediate reaction was to think that Julian is pretty much a fucking douchebag for having made fun of her and to think that if he ever said anything so mean to my child I would crush his testicles in such a way that there would never be a chance that his unfortunate sense of humour would be passed on to his own children.

So go ahead and ban me. Fuck you Julian.

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:52PM|

I'm friends with him on FB, but not with Julian. Interesting.

|11.8.06 @ 4:24PM|

ah ah ah aaa aaa, you can't invoke Godwin's law yourself.

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:59PM|

FinFangFoom's law?

|11.8.06 @ 4:25PM|

"No, but you're quicker to invoke Jebus. I hope you're not some kind of bible thumping freak like Santorum, because I am revising my moral worldview based on your example. I mean, look at the necklace his 8 year old is wearing. It's a cross! Might was well be a swastika!"

How's life over in Batshitinsaneville?

Spoonman.|9.7.10 @ 2:53PM|

I guess Highnumber started getting bored here.

VikingMOose|10.17.10 @ 11:28AM|

we found him passed out on his keyboard.

VikingMoose|10.17.10 @ 11:28AM|

we found him passed out on his keyboard.

|2.21.11 @ 1:04AM|

He knows we won't tolerate that kind of slacking anymore. A touch of "The special juice" and he was back to work quicker than you could wipe OC out of your sinuses.

|11.8.06 @ 4:26PM|

Someone mentioned giving the girl a pony. I agree, comfort food is nice at times like this.

|11.8.06 @ 4:26PM|

aaa aaa writes: "Who could possibly assume that based on this statement "Man, I haven't taken this much pleasure in the suffering of a small child in days"?"

Come on, this isn't suffering, unless the mom is tugging on her hair to make her cry.

"Suffering" would be, say, that little Iraqi kid who was burned, had his arms blown off and his family killed, pictures of whom were distributed in the early days of the war.

This is probably "little girl up way past her bedtime", 'cause you *know* they go to bed at 7 at the Santorum house.

|11.8.06 @ 4:28PM|

Is that the stare that equips the ML to surpass traditionalists in tackiness? Leave the kids alone; they've been exploited enough.

The Austrian school -- they are a humorless bunch. M repeats Herman Hoppe who repeats Rothbard. In a parallel universe, without humans, humor, and all things joyful and lighthearted, the Rothbardians would rule supreme. In this universe, the failed economists cum philosophers that deck the halls of Mises.org are apparently looking out for the exploited children.

|11.8.06 @ 4:29PM|

Oh, the HORROR, someone made fun of a crying little girl! Time to crush his testicles because I don't agree that it's funny!

"Sigh" indeed

|11.8.06 @ 4:31PM|

Evan, I am the life of the party, look at my link to dead baby jokes. It is freakin' high-larious!

But seriously, I agree with you on Santorum: he has different views than we do on this subject. This does not make him an opponent, it makes him an enemy. We should not only ridicule his kids, we should try to have them all arrested and convicted for hate crimes for daddy even expressing such views. Make a note to go after his grandkids as well, just to be sure.

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:23PM|

Whoa! You got a bit radical there, friend.

Stephen Macklin|11.8.06 @ 4:31PM|

Welcome to the Libertarian Underground.

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:22PM|

Thank you. Can you direct me to the buffet?

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 4:32PM|

Julian, your disclaimer reminds me that Clinton never inhaled and that GWB served in the National Guard.

VikingMoose|9.25.10 @ 10:50AM|

11 month Highnumber Assist at work.

Clinton never swallowed, either. does that make a difference? i think not!

|11.8.06 @ 4:32PM|

3...2...1...

ALLAH AKBAR!!!

VikingMoose|9.25.10 @ 10:50AM|

actually, at time of photo shoot, it was "allez Barbar", but you were close

VikingMoose|9.25.10 @ 10:50AM|

actually, at time of photo shoot, it was "allez Barbar", but you were close

|11.8.06 @ 4:33PM|

Actually--and I mean this in all seriousness--why were the kids so upset? Did Dad simply freak out on them before they got on stage? Were they forced to get up there and were crying because of that? Did Santorum curse God? Certainly, they're going to be wealthier if anything, so it's not the "Daddy's losing his job" issue. Are they even going to have to move, if he's going to K&L (presumably the DC office)?

I'm not much for mocking kids who've done no wrong, either. But I do find the situation somewhat surreal. As I do Santorum.

VikingMoose|12.20.10 @ 11:17AM|

he was beating them because he loves them

|11.8.06 @ 4:35PM|

Jesus Evan do you have an enemies list and is it prioritized according who is to be shot first, rather than merely arrested, once you take power?

|11.8.06 @ 4:35PM|

Wow. I'm shocked that libertarians haven't made more inroads what with our erudite commentary and thoughtful analysis on display here.

Way to handle "victory," there, assholes.

VikingMoose|9.25.10 @ 10:51AM|

thank you.

thank you very much. we practice at our weekly meet-ups.

we also practice our "point and laugh" technique

|11.8.06 @ 4:35PM|

Julian,

You'd have more defenders around here if you were a child molester. They fight to death for those guys on this board.

VikingMoose|10.18.10 @ 3:17PM|

bzzt. wrong, boy molar. For them, we fight to the Pain.

|11.8.06 @ 4:37PM|

Look, people, society exists for the purpose of elevating our lives above what they would be in a state of nature.

In a state of nature, I'd laugh at the crying fat girl, too. Who wouldn't? But we're supposed to be civilized here, and pretend that that picture isn't funny. At all.

Isn't funny at all. Repeat that phrase until you can stop giggling and come out of the corner.

Also, as a liberal, the story about the Santorums bringing the body of their stillborn child home for their other kids to hug and pet is so freaking weird that it brings out my liberal cultural relativism. Who are we to judge, ya know? That's just the way those people grieve. It's no better or worse than, say, not passing around a dead baby's body like it was a teddy bear. It's just different. We really need to be more open-minded about people, like the Santorums, who aren't like us.

VikingMoose|10.18.10 @ 3:18PM|

joe is wrong about that - it got weirder when they cooked it up in a nice stew with winter root vegetables and a savory sauce.

|11.8.06 @ 4:38PM|

Is it just me, or does The Mrs. look like she's really jonesing for a Highball?

|11.8.06 @ 4:40PM|

He was a partner at K&L before he went into politics. I would assume that he would end up in DC if his goal is to make the most money. If not he may have to content himself with a measely half million or whathever their partners make in PA.

|11.8.06 @ 4:40PM|

Hey Joe

How about that it is none of ours or anyone else's business how these people grieve for their dead child no matter how creepy it is? Libertarians love privacy as long as it doesn't deprive them of the ability to merciless redicule someone who doesn't agree with them.

VikingMoose|12.20.10 @ 11:19AM|

that is correct. and considering the source and your beliefs, you should be so lucky that we'd mock you, too.

|11.8.06 @ 4:41PM|

joe,

I agree about the weird baby corpse issue. That's a horrifying thing for a family to deal with, and if they do it in a somewhat freaky manner, that's their business. I had to attend a funeral for a friend's baby girl (3-days old when she died), and it was an incredibly heart-wrenching event. I'm not even sure how people live with such a loss, let alone endure it.

|11.8.06 @ 4:41PM|

"Is it just me, or does The Mrs. look like she's really jonesing for a Highball?"

Hey, who isn't jonesing for a highball?

|11.8.06 @ 4:43PM|

Jon H, your absolutely right, Sanchez should never have used the word "suffering", since no one can truly suffer unless it is as a result of the application of US military power in an illegal and immoral war. Speak truth to power!

Evan: "How's life over in Batshitinsaneville?" What an odd question to ask, since I agree with everything you say. You are right, people should behave in a calm and completely rational way when they lose a newborn child, and any deviation from standard practice should be ruthlessly criticized and brought up at every opportunity as a political weapon.

|11.8.06 @ 4:43PM|

Alternate photo at Wonkette.

Walker, Texas Stranger|11.8.06 @ 4:43PM|

Santorum's daughter Sarah Maria cries while holding and consoling son Gabriel Michael.

|11.8.06 @ 4:44PM|

Libertarians love privacy as long as it doesn't deprive them of the ability to merciless redicule someone who doesn't agree with them.

Can anything that's been published in a book really be considered private anymore?

|11.8.06 @ 4:45PM|

"Victory?" Divided government is an improvement, but it surely isn't "victory" - whichever side wins we still lose. (Pelosi is better than Hastert only because Bush beat Kerry - see how that works?) But at least we can take a bitter satisfaction in watching so many of the most unpleasant politicians take a swan dive out of office.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 4:46PM|

My uncle kissed my grandfather's dead face in the casket (gave me the willies, I ain't touching no dead bodies). My friend Amphetamine Annie sat with her dead husband for nearly a day. I'll give you wierd on the dead infant corpse pass around pack BUT......I've seen a lot of strange stuff when it comes to dead people and the way people grieve.

Pro, I hear that. Knew a girl who lost a baby to crib death. She was insane for five years after. BTW, my boy was saved from crib death by a cat.

John, I ain't jonesing for a highball, I'm jonesing for Wine-Thirty.

|11.8.06 @ 4:46PM|

There is no loss this year as sweet as that douchebag scrotorum... his daughter is crying because now she knows her dad sucks.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 4:48PM|

Media, that's a great photo.

Santorum Wrong Here|11.8.06 @ 4:49PM|

Say what you want about individuals' comments here; however the issue rest with Santorum. He chose to put his children in a public eye via campaign commercials and now via this public concession speech. I personally find Santorum very self serving here. If he thought about his children's welfare for a second over his political ambition, he would not have put them in this type of situation.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 4:50PM|

Media, that's a great photo, and the highball crack was excellent.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 4:53PM|

Santorum Wrong Here, sure he is, but.......Every politician does exactly the same thing. The flag and the kids. Flag behind, kids upfront, doting wife standing one step to the right and behind, demure smile, conservative Sunday-go-to-meeting suit, no cleavage. Well, except Gore's wife that is.....

Kap|11.8.06 @ 4:54PM|

It appears to me the young lad - innocently trying to help with the photo op - told his sister that he slaughtered and ate her pony, only to realized he had just implicated himself in a felony, thanks in part to his dad's cronies.

Karma: it'l get you in the end.

|11.8.06 @ 4:59PM|

And all this "it's his fault because he used his family as props" rationalization is just stupid.

Stop blaming other people for your own behavior.
And stop being so hateful and juvenile.

|11.8.06 @ 4:59PM|

Julian, that not only made my day, but my entire month. Hopefully, it will be emailed to Bill O'Reilly who will bust a vein ...

|11.8.06 @ 5:02PM|

Mediageek: they did indeed. Their infant child died, and they spent the next day passing the corpse around the living room, lavishing it with love and treating it as if it were alive. Fucking creepy, I tells ya.

And not terribly unusual, either. In fact, preparing the body of the deceased used to be normally done by the family up until about 50-60 years ago, when mortuaries were given monopolies by most states. Even then, almost all funeral homes today will allow family members to help prepare the body for burial.

Back then the body would often stay in the home until the funeral, and people would come by the home and pay their last respects. It's only during the post-WWII era that it has changed.

IIRC, Paul McCartney did this same thing with Linda's body after she died, and then did a no-no by not reporting her death to the local health department before shipping it out of the state. Of course, being a Wonderful and Popular Celebrity, he wasn't charged with a crime.

Regarding Julian's glee over a little girl's discomfort, I always knew Libertarians were snarky and insensitive, so I'm not terribly shocked by the juvenile piling-on here in the comments. It does, however, illustrate Reason #1,145 of why Libertarian Party candidates rarely get more than 2% of the vote: If they're not crazy, they're insufferably snotty.

|11.8.06 @ 5:03PM|

aaa aaa: Seriously, do you realize how stupid you sound? Here, I'll help: why not accuse me of thinking the gas chambers are funny?

|11.8.06 @ 5:04PM|

Santorum Wrong Here, sure he is, but.......Every politician does exactly the same thing. The flag and the kids. Flag behind, kids upfront, doting wife standing one step to the right and behind, demure smile, conservative Sunday-go-to-meeting suit, no cleavage. Well, except Gore's wife that is...

That reminds me: I would have voted for Gore if he and Tipper had released a 'stolen' sex tape. All the kissing photo ops were fun, but couldn't he have taken the "I promise: my marriage is healthy" thing to the next level. As for Gore's daughters...

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 5:05PM|

"In his Senate office, on a shelf next to an autographed baseball, Sen. Rick Santorum keeps a framed photo of his son Gabriel Michael, the fourth of his seven children. Named for two archangels, Gabriel Michael was born prematurely, at 20 weeks, on Oct. 11, 1996, and lived two hours outside the womb.

"Upon their son's death, Rick and Karen Santorum opted not to bring his body to a funeral home. Instead, they bundled him in a blanket and drove him to Karen's parents' home in Pittsburgh. There, they spent several hours kissing and cuddling Gabriel with his three siblings, ages 6, 4 and 1 1/2. They took photos, sang lullabies in his ear and held a private Mass.

"'That's my little guy,' Santorum says, pointing to the photo of Gabriel, in which his tiny physique is framed by his father's hand. The senator often speaks of his late son in the present tense. It is a rare instance in which he talks softly.

"He and Karen brought Gabriel's body home so their children could 'absorb and understand that they had a brother,' Santorum says. 'We wanted them to see that he was real,' not an abstraction, he says. Not a 'fetus,' either, as Rick and Karen were appalled to see him described -- 'a 20-week-old fetus' -- on a hospital form. They changed the form to read '20-week-old baby.'"

|11.8.06 @ 5:07PM|

If a 5 year old at a birthday party drops his cake and ice cream and starts bawling, are you filled with sympathy or do you smile and think it's kind of funny? Maybe both, right? Would you start threatening to crush the testicles of the adult next to you who thinks it is a little funny? Gosh, I hope not. What is wrong with having a little fun because a child is bawling her eyes out (or maybe bawling her eyes in, as it appears in the photo) over nothing? If I were her father, I would put my arm around her, smile, and tell her it's okay, and try to get her to laugh at herself for taking things so seriously. If she is going to have the opportunity to look back at this photo and laugh in 10 or 20 years, I can look at it and laugh right now.

lunchstealer|5.6.10 @ 2:42AM|

Hey, highnumber from the past, what's up? Do you have horse-and-buggies yet?

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:16PM|

Flying car, mang.

|11.8.06 @ 5:08PM|

TPG, that is fucking creepy.

|11.8.06 @ 5:08PM|

I must say that the crying fat girl pick isn't nearly as funny as the hystrionics on display here.

|11.8.06 @ 5:09PM|

Joe, you're missing the whole point of this thread.

Santorum is a political opponent. That makes everything about him and his family fair game. I mean, sure his kid was upset to see her dad suffer a crushing loss after an exhausting few months, an event she does not really understand and that makes it scarier, and little kids have a way of picking up the vibes of people around them and magnifying them. This was a bad, bad day for her (of course, as per Jon H it is nothing compared to being napalmed and bayonetted by baby-killing US marines). But that cannot, and should not, stop us from mocking her in a public way (and e-mailing / linking the hell out of this photo), and squeezing her suffering for all it is worth. Let us all follow Number 6's exemplary behavior in this regard.

Pro Libertate: Of course the loss of a newborn is a heart wrenching event. Coupled perhaps with post-partum, it is more than some people can endure, so it is not surprising that they did something we (who thankfully have never been through that) find strange. But their behavior seems odd to us, and that is as good a reason as any to bring it up 10 years later in an unrelated discussion, because it might make a political opponent look bad. Plus, as we have all learned here today, there is nothing funnier than dead babies, especially in a good cause!

|11.8.06 @ 5:10PM|

Okay, that's enough now.

|11.8.06 @ 5:10PM|

Wow.

OK, (1) anybody who doesn't find the above passage creepy needs to get their creep-o-meter checked, and (2) anybody who thinks Rick Santorum makes any distinction between the public and private sphere is insane.

|11.8.06 @ 5:11PM|

Please, please keep going aaa aaa! You have truly made an otherwise good day great.

|11.8.06 @ 5:13PM|

TWC-

Thank you, sir, for your kind words.

|11.8.06 @ 5:13PM|

Stop blaming other people for your own behavior.
And stop being so hateful and juvenile.


To that I'd label as "incredibly stupid" the remarks that Santorum had his family out there for political reasons. Number 1, thankfully this douchebag's political career is over. Number 2, just maybe he and his supporters really believe the "family values stuff" that we all mock around here and he thought that it was appropriate to have his family with him as he gave his concession (or whatever) speech.

|11.8.06 @ 5:13PM|

In the interests of shooting this one off of the bad-taste-o-meter:

Why are the kids freaked out? Because their father told that if he lost, then Gabriel Michael would come to visit again.

|11.8.06 @ 5:14PM|

Number 6: "aaa aaa: Seriously, do you realize how stupid you sound? Here, I'll help: why not accuse me of thinking the gas chambers are funny?"

But I'm following your example, laughing at the little kid of someone I disagree with, trying not to be "righteously indignant" about dead baby jokes. You're my moral superior, show me the way! I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm agreeing with you. Let's keep bashing the 8 year old girl!

Lazlo|11.8.06 @ 5:14PM|

Actually--and I mean this in all seriousness--why were the kids so upset?

They've spent the last eight or nine months listening to Daddy tell the world that he stands for all that is Right and Good; that God is on his side and that his opponents are all Heathens and Perverts and Terrorists who represent the forces of Satan.

Then, whoops, Daddy loses the election.

So if you're an eight-year-old from a highly religious family with a deep, abiding belief in the reality of God and Jesus and the Devil, that must mean that God has abandoned Daddy. Maybe Evil has just taken over the world, or perhaps the Tribulation has started and since they're all still here, they somehow missed the Rapture-Bus. I'd be crying too!

|11.8.06 @ 5:14PM|

JF- Or maybe Santorum's use of his family was cynically calculated. Given what you know about politicians, which seems more likely?

|11.8.06 @ 5:15PM|

Keep the hits coming, aaa aaa!

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 5:16PM|

Honestly people, fat people are funny. Fat kids are funnier. Crying fat kids are funnier yet. Crying fat kids holding dolls dressed exactly like them are hilarious.

But you really had to see the oldest boy crying his eyes out. It was definitely a "parents in the chili" cry.

|11.8.06 @ 5:16PM|

"'That's my little guy,' Santorum says, pointing to the photo of Gabriel, in which his tiny physique is framed by his father's hand. The senator often speaks of his late son in the present tense. It is a rare instance in which he talks softly.

Taking everyone's word that Santorum is a complete cockknocker as gospel, as a father I just don't find the way he treated his deceased son that horrifying. The man was grieving. The fact that he chose to publicize it is far more unsavory.

Jennifer|11.8.06 @ 5:17PM|

To that I'd label as "incredibly stupid" the remarks that Santorum had his family out there for political reasons. Number 1, thankfully this douchebag's political career is over. Number 2, just maybe he and his supporters really believe the "family values stuff" that we all mock around here and he thought that it was appropriate to have his family with him as he gave his concession (or whatever) speech.

As someone pointed out already, it was probably around midnight when the photo was taken. My own family had some pretty messed-up values, but when I was eight my parents damn well knew better than to force me to stay up that late at a noisy, boring grown-ups' function related to my father's career and then trot me out on stage while he made his speeches. To hell with Santorum's so-called "family values."

|11.8.06 @ 5:20PM|

Number 6,

I did say "just maybe" :)

However, like I said, his political career is over, which might eliminate the need for cynical manipulations.

Or, considering what a prick he is, who knows? Maybe I'm just looking at this from the view of someone who doesn't think that no matter how bad a person might be, their kids don't deserve to take shit just for that reason.

Timothy|11.8.06 @ 5:20PM|

Look, the two funniest things that can ever be on TV are a crying fat person and a crying kid. A crying fat kid is the perfect storm of comedy gold.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 5:21PM|

So if you're an eight-year-old from a highly religious family with a deep, abiding belief in the reality of God and Jesus and the Devil, that must mean that God has abandoned Daddy. Maybe Evil has just taken over the world, or perhaps the Tribulation has started and since they're all still here, they somehow missed the Rapture-Bus. I'd be crying too!

The gay men are coming and bringing their goats. And they are all going to rape daddy.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 5:23PM|

The fact that he chose to publicize it is far more unsavory.

You get prize. What you want?

|11.8.06 @ 5:25PM|

Walks into room.

**Blinks**

Walks back out.

|11.8.06 @ 5:26PM|

Oy. For the benefit of commenters who don't share my sense of humor, I'm not "going after" Santorum's daughter, who I'm about as sure as one can be will never, ever read this post and have her feelings hurt. Just making a joke about how good it is to be rid of this guy.

Then pick a picture where Santorum is featured more prominently. As the picture focuses on his daughter a perfectly acceptable reading of this write-up is that you are taking some pleasure in watching an eight year old cry.

_____________________

As for the "stage dressing" deal, it is common to have your family at such events, so that criticism has no merit whatsover.

_____________________

Clearly I have no sympathies for most of the positions of Rick Santorum, at the same time I am not going to anonymously beat up on his children on a blog.

|11.8.06 @ 5:26PM|

FinFangFoom | November 8, 2006, 5:13pm | #

In the interests of shooting this one off of the bad-taste-o-meter:

Why are the kids freaked out? Because their father told that if he lost, then Gabriel Michael would come to visit again.


or, he told them that if he lost, they'd all go to be with Gabriel Michael.

that said, although their handling of the dead baby is unusual, I have to give them respect for showing their kids the reality of their dead sibling, not trying to protect them from unpleasant truths or deny the existence of unpleasant truths

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 5:30PM|

As someone pointed out already, it was probably around midnight when the photo was taken.

It was 10 PM

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 5:30PM|

However, like I said, his political career is over, which might eliminate the need for cynical manipulations.

PA conservatives are already asking him to run for governor.

|11.8.06 @ 5:31PM|

I don't know about the handling of the baby with such young kids. It has a flavor of that Simpsons episode where Homer says something like, "Say your prayers, Bart, you might wake up dead."

|11.8.06 @ 5:31PM|

As for the "stage dressing" deal, it is common to have your family at such events, so that criticism has no merit whatsover.

Unless, of course, it's contemptible even if everyone does it.

|11.8.06 @ 5:32PM|

Why is she crying? I dunno, maybe because children often love their parents?

|11.8.06 @ 5:33PM|

This thread makes me realize how much I missed H&R. Good riddance, squirrels.

|11.8.06 @ 5:34PM|

Why is she crying? I dunno, maybe because children often love their parents?

Yes, and that makes this picture not funny because?

Seinfeld was on for what, ten years, doing this very type of humor? Please.

|11.8.06 @ 5:34PM|

Number 6,

How is it per se contemptable?

|11.8.06 @ 5:36PM|

Greg,

Being the heartless, morally bankrupt, etc. atheist that I am, I try not to find humor in the wholely innocent suffering of others.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 5:37PM|

Why is she crying? I dunno, maybe because children often love their parents?

Crying fat kids, who love their parents, and have dolls dressed exactly like them are hilarious.

|11.8.06 @ 5:38PM|

Zeno- Much as I hate the following phrase, it's appropriate here: If you don't know, I'm not going to bother trying to explain it to you.

|11.8.06 @ 5:39PM|

My friend and I watched the concession speech last night, and his first comment, in less than 10 seconds, was, "His son is gay." Not a slam, but he's one of those people who think they have perfect gaydar, and looking at one of his sons, he swore he could see it.
Might be interesting, in light of the predictions above.

|11.8.06 @ 5:39PM|

Being the heartless, morally bankrupt, etc. atheist that I am, I try not to find humor in the wholely innocent suffering of others.

Ok, I can appreciate that, but how deep is the suffering of an eight year old who is crying because her millionaire father just lost an election? This is no different than enjoying watching Duke players cry after a 3rd round exit.

|11.8.06 @ 5:42PM|

Number 6,

Then you have chosen to close off conversation on the matter. Not much I can do about that.

|11.8.06 @ 5:44PM|

Zeno-True enough. If you don't immediately grasp why using your children as political props is repugnant, then there's no point in conversing about the matter.

|11.8.06 @ 5:44PM|

Greg,

The Duke players are active participants (though I still wouldn't mock them - or at the very least I would try not to), this kid isn't. She's just the kid of a man who lost a Senate race; she didn't run for the office, etc.

|11.8.06 @ 5:47PM|

I try not to find humor in the wholely innocent suffering of others.


She is not suffering! Her daddy lost an election. He did not die. He is not going away for a long time. She is not in physical pain. No one is laughing at her suffering, because she is not suffering. She is acting like a brat. I can laugh at brats.

|11.8.06 @ 5:48PM|

Number 6,

That's the problem; your assertion is based on an undemonstrated assumption. Which is of course why it is not per se contemptable to have your kids with you during a concession speech.

Number 6|10.6.09 @ 4:10PM|

Three years later: FUCK YOU ZENO!!! YOU AND YOUR FUCKING PARADOX!

I guess I haven't grown much these past several years.

|11.8.06 @ 5:51PM|

highnumber,

Apparently you are intimately aware with the inner workings of this kid's brain; I am not. She appears to be suffering in the photograph and that's the position which I will hold to.

|11.8.06 @ 5:51PM|

She's just the kid of a man who lost a Senate race; she didn't run for the office, etc.

Ok, so it is no different than laughing at sobbing Packer fans after finally accepting the demise of their once great quarterback. If anything, that makes enjoying it all the more harmless. You didn't enjoy the tears of JJ Reddick? You truly have no soul. Denying the ability to enjoy the extremely minor sufferings of others is to deny very evident human nature.

|11.8.06 @ 5:52PM|

Anyway, I've said my piece on the matter. Cheers.

|11.8.06 @ 5:52PM|

The gay men are coming and bringing their goats. And they are all going to rape daddy.

ok. THAT,is funny.

|11.8.06 @ 5:54PM|

I'll end with this non-sarcastic comment. There are not that many libertarian web sites out there, and it is unfortunate to see this one sliding into DailyKos-hood. I know the magazine (and web site) is being reoriented towards a somewhat different market segment, and I guess you have to go where the eyeballs are, but it is a little disappointing how the quality of the "Hit & Run" blog has deteriorated. I would think people here would stand up more for a core libertarian value like personal privacy, but I suppose that is not the new target audience.

If you had a pic of Santorum crying, then unleash the hounds! He chose to be a public figure (the treatment here gives you a good idea why many very highly capable people don't). But I don't like to see attacks on the small children of politicians: it is not like the kids chose to be up there on stage. Yeah, they shouldn't be used as props, but that does not make us any better for making fun of a crying 8 year old girl holding a doll. Turning the personal into the political, and vice versa, is unhealthy for a democracy. Sorry for injecting a serious comment into all the levity.

Plus, I've never had a child die, and I don't have any idea how I would handle it, but unless they sell it on eBay I'm not about to criticize someone else for how they dealt with it.

Does that make me "righteously indignant"? I don't know, you tell me: let the ad hominens begin! Calling Number 6... [To allow you to focus your vitriol more effectively, I'm an atheist libertarian, non-US citizen living outside the US, with 2 small girls at home, I support gay marriage, and would not have voted for Santorum. I don't like to see people pick on little kids for fun, and I think it is both bad luck and in bad taste to make fun of someone's deceased child.]

|11.8.06 @ 5:56PM|

aaa aaa aaa,

You are a Canadian, aren't you? That would explain a lot. Cultural differences and all that...

|11.8.06 @ 5:58PM|

A vile swine. Indeed "A Generation of Swine" shoots low.
Upside of pic: by widely posting them, we may forstall anyone breeding with the offspring.
Crackpot Right Sunnyside Take: Santorum free for Supreme Court, or Sec Def, after folks remember (any takers here) about Gates DCI confirmation hearing.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 5:58PM|

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/061108/480/a7e555806d1144489f0158b8d4b3e7c3

THERE HE IS!

After Santorum goes for the photo op moment with the crying fat girl, we can see his son in the background!

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 5:58PM|

Also good:

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/061108/ids_photos_ts/r1012833467.jpg

|11.8.06 @ 5:59PM|

Thanks for participating mister, um, aaa aaa aaaa (if that is your real name). You did a much better job of expressing your feelings on the matter than I did. What with your not invoking testicle crushing and all.

Bob Z|11.8.06 @ 5:59PM|

I think this is the most entertaining thread I've ever seen on Reason. Thank God they traded in the server squirrels for server terriers or some such.
As a Republican-leaning Libertarian, I'm not thrilled with the overall election outcome, but the Casey win has to be one of the silver linings for me. Santorum was a total douche and gave credence to the left wing cries about a theocracy and a GOP Taliban. The man was so arrogantly pious I'm surprised he didn't go around wearing a halo. The big family is all part of the act so he had to drag young kids on stage after midnight. I'm convinced if Santorum lived circa 1 A.D. he would have been a Pharisee.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 6:01PM|

The big family is all part of the act so he had to drag young kids on stage after midnight.

It was 10 PM

|11.8.06 @ 6:02PM|

Maybe I'm just a sick bastidge, but I laughed so hard over this and the fark thread that I literally had teaars coming out of my eyes.

|11.8.06 @ 6:04PM|

Aaa aaa aaaa. Is that near Castle Aaa aaa aaaa?

You know, another way of looking at this is that at least people here are mocking some kid rather than lusting for her. The Gore and Bush children have to be kept in protective custody, even though they are adults.

Jennifer|11.8.06 @ 6:05PM|

It was 10 PM

Still damned late for an eight-year-old kid to be kept up at a boring grown-up function. A responsible parent would know that. Santorum apparently does not.

M|11.8.06 @ 6:08PM|

Has anyone reading this thread changed his or her opinion about its subject or learned something substantive from reading opposing perspectives?

|5.11.11 @ 7:26PM|

No.

VikingMoose|6.8.11 @ 10:40AM|

only learned that the freepers and santorum supporters are kookier than ever expected!

Bob Z|11.8.06 @ 6:08PM|

TPG,

I stand corrected. Now I do have to wonder, why there was so much bawling? I was trying to be charitable, but now I'm with some commenters up-thread; what was said to these children to make them so upset? You lost your seat in the Senate. So what? We don't execute the losers in this country. I would not put making his own children cry to engender sympathy past this ass-clown.

|11.8.06 @ 6:09PM|

Good guess, highnumber! Maybe it is a cultural thing, but I think it is more because I have two small kids. Before I was a parent I'd read some story about something bad happening to a kid and not really feel much about it. Now I visualize it happening to one of my kids and I have more of an emotional reaction. I can see where MK is coming from with his remark.

Sure, the kid may be crying because she wanted to wear a different color of shoes (the parents out there know what I'm talking about), but probably she's crying because she's genuinely upset about something bad which has happened to her father that she does not fully understand. There is a difference between criticizing her father, and making fun of her because she is sad. I just find it all in bad taste, and unfortunate that people find the need to go after the family of politicians they oppose. And the dead baby comments are just weird and disturbing.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 6:12PM|

Still damned late for an eight-year-old kid to be kept up at a boring grown-up function. A responsible parent would know that. Santorum apparently does not.

I was just point out that it was 10 PM. I have no dog in the time hunt.

I just like laughing at crying fat kids. MORE HFCS FOR THE SANTORUM KIDS!

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 6:13PM|

but now I'm with some commenters up-thread; what was said to these children to make them so upset?

Don't know, but it was all set up for that money shot of comfort that I posted above.

|11.8.06 @ 6:13PM|

I feel for any kid who has an asshat for a father.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 6:14PM|

but probably she's crying because she's genuinely upset about something bad which has happened to her father that she does not fully understand.

I'd cry too if the gay boogeymen were coming to sodomize daddy straight to hell.

|11.8.06 @ 6:15PM|

Thomas Paine's Goiter: "I'd cry too if the gay boogeymen were coming to sodomize daddy straight to hell."

And that's when I finally gave up on this website... Have fun everyone!

|7.30.10 @ 3:53PM|

In passing, I would like to note that "aaa aaa" is what German infants say to indicate a full diaper.

|11.8.06 @ 6:16PM|

Jose Ortega y Gasset,

Seconded. And, like aaa aaa, I suppose that it's being a parent that makes me question how somebody can make a statement like "Man, I haven't taken this much pleasure in the suffering of a small child in days" and find so many people willing to stretch rationality to defend it.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 6:18PM|

And that's when I finally gave up on this website... Have fun everyone!

What do I win?

Bob Z|11.8.06 @ 6:21PM|

I'm not a big TV watcher so someone chime in. I know bringing your family on stage as a prop is the politcal norm, but, seriously, is it customary for the family of a defeated politician to weep like this on stage? Now we just need the rending of garments and the gnashing of teeth. The crying fat girl is funny in a dark way, but overall this just adds to the whole creepy factor. I suppose now they'll go around for the next month in sackcloth and ashes.

|11.8.06 @ 6:22PM|

M asked:

Has anyone reading this thread changed his or her opinion about its subject or learned something substantive from reading opposing perspectives?

No, good sir, but most of us have had a good laugh.

|11.8.06 @ 6:22PM|

And the dead baby comments are just weird and disturbing.


Dead baby jokes are funny, partly because they are taboo, but not funny in the context of a thread about a family that has lost a baby. I agree with you about that. How they grieved may seem creepy or weird to us, but I will not judge. I have no idea how handle that, so again I agree with you. Chuckling at an 8 year old's bratty display, maybe it takes a United Statesian to do that.

|11.8.06 @ 6:25PM|

"Holy fuck, would you people just relax? It's not like anyone is up in the little girl's face screaming 'boooyaaaah, ya little twat! Daddy LOST! Your daddy sucks, so do you! Now you're gonna have to move to the poorhouse! HAHAHAHA!'"

Judging by this thread, I'm guessing only due to lack of opportunity.

I'll give Julian a pass because it seemed to me he knew he was being crass and heartless but he felt what he felt and decided to get a laugh out of it.

Peter K.|11.8.06 @ 6:27PM|

By far, the funniest photo / caption / heading combo from the midterms.

|11.8.06 @ 6:27PM|

I have to disagree. I don't find a kid crying funny.

But the zombie, he looks like he just spotted daddy's special "masseur" in the audience.

Kap|11.8.06 @ 6:36PM|

And the dead baby comments are just weird and disturbing.

Santorum makes a concerted point of describing how he and his wife crossed out "fetus" and changed it to "baby" on the death certificate. For someone who has made a career of religious-right political beliefs (read: pro-life, it's a baby, not a fetus) it seems he is the one who put the baby onto the playing field.

I mean, grieve and the world grieves with you, but use your dead baby as a political prop, and reap what you sow.

(Or "sew", depending on how depraved ManDogPig's family ceremony was.)

George Mason\'s Tonsils|11.8.06 @ 6:38PM|

Still like libertarians, but not so fond of Reason anymore. Goodbye.

Jon|11.8.06 @ 6:38PM|

For once, a South Park reference is the least funny thing about an H&R blog post. Bravo.

|11.8.06 @ 6:39PM|

In the immortal words from the FAR SIDE:

"Look, Harold! Nerds! And some nerdlings!"

|11.8.06 @ 6:39PM|

"I'll give Julian a pass because it seemed to me he knew he was being crass and heartless but he felt what he felt and decided to get a laugh out of it."

Oooh, how Big of you.

|11.8.06 @ 6:43PM|

I feel really bad for the girl. How long will it be before she understands that her dad lost because he is a colossal ass prick?

|11.8.06 @ 6:46PM|

I have to disagree. I don't find a kid crying funny.


To all the commenters who feel that way, imagine that you are a senator. (You don't have to be anything like Santorum. You can be a good politician - the mythical libertarian senator.) You lose an election. Your 8 year old daughter bawls like that next to you on stage as you concede defeat. Of course you wouldn't laugh in her face, you would comfort her. Later you sit down with your family and look at pictures of that night. You wouldn't see this picture and have a chuckle with your daughter for overreacting?

|11.8.06 @ 6:47PM|

"Oooh, how Big of you."

Thanks. That's just the kind of guy I am.

I'm not saying it wasn't funny. It was. I'm just saying crass can be funny, but it's still crass.

Jim Bob|11.8.06 @ 6:54PM|

/reads thread
/head asplodes

Are you people serious? 200+ comments about THIS? For fuck's sake explain to me why humor must be in good taste for some of you to find it amusing.

MisterDNA|11.8.06 @ 6:55PM|

The women of the Santorum clan look like they could easily form a Shaggs tribute band.

Jim Bob|11.8.06 @ 6:56PM|

Actually, nevermind. Please don't.

|11.8.06 @ 6:56PM|

I realize a certian percentage of people will just never find something like this amusing and, eh, whatever, but FWIW, as a couple others have noted:

(1) I very much doubt Rick Santorum's kid is even allowed on the Internet, let alone a Hit & Run reader. Nothing we write here affects her life for better or worse.

(2) Nothing actually bad has happened to her.

(3) The South Park headline and the "in days" were meant to convey a certain amount of tongue-in-cheekness here. As in "Santorum's so awful that if his children are crying, it's a good thing."

On the other hand, I am, in fact a bad person, so go ahead, crush my testicles.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 6:57PM|

but, seriously, is it customary for the family of a defeated politician to weep like this on stage?

I dunno cuz I skipped the election coverage and was watching House with the Old Lady. It was a good one too. It covered the DEA cracking down on pain medication AND the power of the Polezei to make one's life miserable.

|11.8.06 @ 7:01PM|

/reads thread
/head asplodes

Are you people serious? 200+ comments about THIS? For fuck's sake explain to me why humor must be in good taste for some of you to find it amusing.


It's for the children.

In all seriousness, political correctness has never been so self-righteous. Oh wait, it's always this self righteous.

toshiro_mifune|11.8.06 @ 7:08PM|

Poor, poor fat girl. Do your tears smell like ham ?

|11.8.06 @ 7:10PM|

toshiro,

I don't know why, but that was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

|11.8.06 @ 7:11PM|

Julian,

I, for one, do not consider you to be a bad person. Consider this your "Tim Cavanaugh rips people for taking vacations in Thailand right after the tsunami" moment.

|11.8.06 @ 7:12PM|

BTW, Julian, if you ever have kids, and a picture comes out of one of them crying, and someone who dislikes you posts something similar to what you did today, I expect you'll take it like a good sport.

|11.8.06 @ 7:18PM|

It's like the Amish cast of "Hairspray."

Jesse Walker|11.8.06 @ 7:19PM|

Y'know, while it's pretty clear to me that Julian didn't mean his post the way some commenters have taken it (if you took that line about pleasure in the suffering of a little girl literally, you're pretty tone-deaf), I have to say that a lot of the commenters who have been sticking up for it sound like sociopaths. The only people I've known who think it's innately funny to see a kid cry were fifth-grade bullies.

I also can't help noticing that some of you react to the thought of Santorum's dead-baby ritual the way Santorum reacts to the thought of two men falling in love. I guess tolerance has its limits, eh?

Eddy|11.8.06 @ 7:19PM|

You would cry too if you knew that guy just got loads of free time to spend with you.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 7:21PM|

The only people I've known who think it's innately funny to see a kid cry were fifth-grade bullies.

When my two year old throws tantrums or overreacts or brings the drama, I laugh. It's funny.

|11.8.06 @ 7:22PM|

Ah yes, Hit & Run. A family oriented blog.

|11.8.06 @ 7:26PM|

highnumber - what can I say? I just find the zombie and the bird-flipper funnier.

My crassometer is calibrated differently, that's all.

|11.8.06 @ 7:28PM|

Sorry, but only polito-geeks in certain corners of the blogosphere are aware of that slang. It's truly an inside joke, no pun intended.

You're joking, right? It's been referenced in Time, Newsweek and the Economist, to say nothing of the fact that spreadingsantorum.com comes up before Santorum's campaign website when you google his name. "Santorum's Google problem" has been all over the cable news for months.

Libertarians love privacy as long as it doesn't deprive them of the ability to merciless redicule someone who doesn't agree with them

Your right to privacy does not trump my right to ridicule you.

Has anyone reading this thread changed his or her opinion about its subject or learned something substantive from reading opposing perspectives?

Sometimes, we just enjoy talking to each other. Wow. Imagine that.

|11.8.06 @ 7:39PM|

The picture was taken just after Senator Frothymixture mentioned the upside is that he will now have more time to spend with his wife and children.

M|11.8.06 @ 7:42PM|

[M:] Has anyone reading this thread changed his or her opinion about its subject or learned something substantive from reading opposing perspectives?

Sometimes, we just enjoy talking to each other. Wow. Imagine that.

It was a question for information, not a criticism.

But please don\'t hurt me|11.8.06 @ 7:46PM|

go ahead, crush my testicles

After the courage you showed here, that would be gelding the lily.

|11.8.06 @ 7:48PM|

After 230 posts, it seems to almost refute Godwin's (it's not just a good idea, it's the) Law that no one has mentioned how much the Santorums look like the model NAZI family.

(No need to thank me. Somebody hasd to kill this thread.)

|11.8.06 @ 7:49PM|

Y'know, while it's pretty clear to me that Julian didn't mean his post the way some commenters have taken it (if you took that line about pleasure in the suffering of a little girl literally, you're pretty tone-deaf), I have to say that a lot of the commenters who have been sticking up for it sound like sociopaths. The only people I've known who think it's innately funny to see a kid cry were fifth-grade bullies.

I suspect some see the Santorum's of the world as projecting themselves as innocence abused. Maybe some of the apparently callous among us are reacting to that.

...also, many libertarians have become indifferent to "but what about the children" arguments. ...maybe some of them are reacting to that too.

|11.8.06 @ 7:52PM|

I'd probably cry like that too if I thought I might have to move back to Pittsburgh or some other god awful, Pennsylvania place.

|11.8.06 @ 7:55PM|

Just when I stopped laughing, Thomas Paine's Goiter posts more pics, and I realize that the doll she is holding looks like Linda Tripp ...

|11.8.06 @ 8:05PM|

On the other hand, I am, in fact a bad person

Oh, well ok then.

When my two year old throws tantrums or overreacts or brings the drama, I laugh. It's funny.

I have as well in the past when my child was throwing a temper tantrum. I don't think this girl is being bratty at all and I don't know where you are getting the impression that she is.

I'll say this for Julian, as tasteless and emotionally retarded as this whole topic was, some of the commenters did him one better and it was an interesting thread.

|11.8.06 @ 8:11PM|

As the child of for US Congressman, I was almost always in bed on election night and only at the HQ for the first win. After that, I was kept home.

And I do sympathize with this girl. Although my dad retired without losing, I know it would have been tough to see him get whacked.

But Santorum should not have let that happen. He knew he was toast and crying kids is just a photo op in the making. He should not of brought his kids up on stage. No way.

All that said, it is kinda funny. That guy was trash and has been indifferent to his consitutents for a while. A pic of a crying kid is no big deal.

And she has been photographed so much that she won't even remember this pic in a few years, or she won't care.

I remember when a news show did a story about my dad. They wanted to show me going off to school and they asked if I would hug my dad or kiss him on the cheek. Well, we're anglos and we don't do that. I found it very embarassing, but you know, what the hell. Life goes on.

|11.8.06 @ 8:12PM|

You would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh

david tiley|11.8.06 @ 8:12PM|

I though that policing people's sense of humour was something that the Evil PC Left did?

|11.8.06 @ 8:13PM|

Come on, the best part of the photo isn't the crying 8 year old or the wide-eyed son. It's the teenage daughter in the background, who clearly doesn't want to be there and, like any other adolescent, thinks her dad is a douche bag.

|11.8.06 @ 8:15PM|

Also, I think fatty crybabies right pinky finger is dislocated.

|11.8.06 @ 8:21PM|

TWC, I love that show! I was just today thinking that House, MD is the most (or only, so still the most) libertarian show on TV, with the constant flipping the bird at authority and drug use and all.

happy|11.8.06 @ 8:22PM|

Holy crap, that doll really does look like Linda Tripp. U can't stop laughing.

happy|11.8.06 @ 8:24PM|

But what would a talking Linda Tripp doll say?

"Don't go to the dry cleaners."
"Speak into this potted plant."

|11.8.06 @ 8:25PM|

That kid on the right has vengeance on his mind. Coming to a clock tower near you...

|11.8.06 @ 8:35PM|

mediageek writes:"Is it just me, or does The Mrs. look like she's really jonesing for a Highball?"

Nah, the Santorums aren't into anything so exotic. They're strictly missionary through a rough canvas sheet with a hole cut in it.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 9:14PM|

I have as well in the past when my child was throwing a temper tantrum. I don't think this girl is being bratty at all and I don't know where you are getting the impression that she is.

It's the same damn thing. She's bringing the drama.

|11.8.06 @ 9:22PM|

That photo was funny.

Not in the haha little kids suffering is funny, but in the everything else way. Heck I've seen my nephew whom I love greatly run and do a comical spill and come up crying and I laughed then. I of course went and helped him immediantly, but it was still funny and so it this.

Anyways I doubt it will hurt her later in life, I mean when Katie Holmes was the president's daughter she had all sorts of embarrasing photo's taken, and she came out ok......never mind.

thoreau|11.8.06 @ 9:22PM|

247 posts? Wow. Over this? Wow.

This is what I get for being gone for a few hours.

happy|11.8.06 @ 9:23PM|

I almost hate to do this but crying 8year old video is here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4RtG_ixGIns&mode=related&search=

(Santorum was, in fact, quite gracious in defeat.)

|11.8.06 @ 9:29PM|

happy,

I have to agree. So was Harold Ford.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 9:30PM|

Poor, poor fat girl. Do your tears smell like ham?

See now THAT was funny, too. But man, you're definitely on a snowboard to hell with greased runners for that one. You better hope there ain't no God.

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 9:33PM|

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4RtG_ixGIns&mode=related&search=

Yeah, see, there it is. The son on Santorum's right. THAT is pure gold.

|11.8.06 @ 9:34PM|

I don't think anyone has addressed the wide view of this photo. It seems to have a range of emotion like the Kubler Ross stages of grief.

Denial and isolation: "This is not happening to me." (Mr. Santorum)

Anger: "How dare God do this to me." (Younger Daughter)

Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate." (Mrs. Santorum)


Depression: "I can't bear to face going through this, putting my family through this." (Elder Daughter)


Acceptance: "I'm ready, I don't want to struggle anymore." (Moon Struck Son)

BTW, I haven't laughed this hard about a post in quite a while. It made my day. I'm still laughing.

Mr. Bojangles|11.8.06 @ 9:35PM|

That's no doll. That's Mr. Santorum's fetus child.

Kap|11.8.06 @ 9:37PM|

247 posts? Wow. Over this? Wow.

That's nothing. The South Park episode starting right now is labeled by the DirecTV system as the very "Scott Tenorman Must Die" episody of yummy tears fame, although what is actually playing is part 1 of last week's episode.

Clearly, God is on our side.

happy|11.8.06 @ 9:37PM|

"BTW, I haven't laughed this hard about a post in quite a while. It made my day. I'm still laughing."

The pics that show the Linda Tripp doll are the best. Way better than the crying kids, IMO.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 9:38PM|

Bio, the DEA references on House last night perked my attention right up and the cop, well, the cop is just an really interesting twist (don't want to screw it up for anyone who Tivo'd it). Of course, the plot lines are pushed to the almost to the point where suspense of disability is difficult but the dialogue and the characters are just great. I love the show as well. It is the one show that we do watch.

|11.8.06 @ 9:42PM|

Damn. Once again I arrive at a party after all the drugs are gone.

I think Lazlo had the best take on the whole thing.

It reminds me of the classic exchange:

Don't you know what good clean fun is?

No. What good is it?

Narr

|11.8.06 @ 10:01PM|

The kid with the glasses looks like the cannibal in Sin City... remember him?

Funny stuff. Thanks for this one!

|11.8.06 @ 10:06PM|

The comments ya'll have posted show you to be such hypocrites. You claim that Santorum is intolerant merely because he has defended traditional morality. Yet, you have no tolerance for his defense of marriage and hate him because he has refused to allow a redefination of marriage. You claim that he is mean spirited even though he has attacked homosexual activity not individual people. Yet you make personal on his family in a most hateful and cruel manner way. Have you no shame?

marley|11.8.06 @ 10:09PM|

Fuck Rick Santorum and fuck his family. These freaks have been trying to intrude into everyone else's personal lives for years. Turnabout is fair play.

Daniel|11.8.06 @ 10:11PM|

There is a silver lining however in the defeat that the Republicans have suffered. The leadership in the House and Senate (with the exception of Santorum) had gotten more concerned with maintaining its power than with supporting conservative principles. This defeat will drive the party back to the base. In two years we will come back with truly conservative candidates who are willing to stand for their priciples. So, thanks for the help and enjoy your victory while it lasts.

Jesse|11.8.06 @ 10:11PM|

If you don't like the comment about the kid because you felt bad for her, then you're a bleeding-heart liberal. Ha ha!

|11.8.06 @ 10:12PM|

for you whiners......ive seen tangeled heaps of corpses of kids (a lot skinnier) like Santorums unfortunate spawn. products of self righteous politicians no better than him. They are shrugged off- collateral damage. Tough luck. Suck it up.
And here, now, sanctimonious twats lecture on us laughin at live kids, props of thier live, vile parents.
ah, yes: priorities.
bugger off, im enjoyin myself.....

|11.8.06 @ 10:13PM|

I'm a little surprised by people who can't understand why the girl is crying and are devising all sort of whacky theories to explain why. I would have cried when I was eight if one my parents had been publicly humiliated, which is what a crushing defeat like this certainly is. As for whether the kids should have been up at 10 P.M., probably not, but is one incident really enough to condemn them as irresponsible parents? If it were someone you liked, no one would think so.

|11.8.06 @ 10:13PM|

Politicians cannot put their children on stage for their public appearances, then ask for privacy. This is fair, if tasteless, commentary. And it's pretty funny too.

|11.8.06 @ 10:16PM|

I think it's cute how you all are getting so animated and excited about the comments you're putting under a blog entry. Carry on and rotate yourself towards the sun once yearly.

|11.8.06 @ 10:16PM|

Its a common practice for kids to appear on stage for acceptance and concession speeches. Typically they are treated with respect.

|11.8.06 @ 10:21PM|

However, his daughter does have the look of Bull Dyke

happy|11.8.06 @ 10:35PM|

As I mentioned earlier, my father was in the House of Representatives. Those of you who are all up in arms about this are taking it way too seriously.

As the child of a politician she has been photographed, filmed, dragged to every fvcking farm show in the state etc. etc. etc. This one picture at this one moment is not going to scar her. She is sad, her dad lost. You can be sure that she worked to the extent that she could to help on his campaign, almost all kids of politiicians do.

But at the tender age of eight she probably has had more exposure to being the focus of public events then many will get until they are well into adulthood. This photo is no big deal.

Now that said, the 14 year old kid who is crying like mad. About him I know one thing. He woke up this morning and thanked God that he is home-schooled.

happy|11.8.06 @ 10:37PM|

In my last post it should read 'a focus' not 'the focus'

|11.8.06 @ 10:44PM|

You people are simply awful. Don't tell me you guys never crapped your diaper when you were eight.

|11.8.06 @ 10:53PM|

I have to admit it.
I'm laughing at almost everything here, and I feel REALLY dirty for it. And who said the road to hell is paved with good intentions...(sigh...giggle...cackle!). I really am terrible.

As for everyone saying his kids are fair game...wah?
It's not the kids who are fair game but the man himself. This is just as depressingly familiar as all the bad and terrible Chelsea Clinton jokes.
As for the girl being a brat, give me a freakin' break! She's 8 years old for crying out loud! Hell, I cried when I was eight because I forgot my notepad to take assignments for class when I really tried hard to remember! And hell, people in my grade were STILL having problems not pissing on themselves because our school wouldn't allow you to go to the restroom until recess which caused a many unfortunate accident that made my shoes smell terrible :(

Laughing at the weirdness of the Santorums is one thing. Telling really nasty things about the 8 year old daughter is really fucked up...

Thomas Paine\'s Goiter|11.8.06 @ 10:53PM|

You people are simply awful. Don't tell me you guys never crapped your diaper when you were eight.

HA!

|11.8.06 @ 11:06PM|

Could there be an ingredient of envy in this hostility? Would you prefer her to be hardened, like you?

|11.8.06 @ 11:07PM|

Daniel

"Have you no shame?"

None whatsoever.

Godfrey

"You people are simply awful."

And your point is?

"Don't tell me you guys never crapped your diaper when you were eight."

I peed my pants in front of friends when I was twelve. I survived.

|11.8.06 @ 11:09PM|

I can't wait to print this thread out and send it to Santorum's daughter!

|11.8.06 @ 11:16PM|

"Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture, ... When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm."

Rick Santorum quote

"If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery, ... You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does."

Rick Santorum quote

"I don't think it works. I think it's harmful to women, I think it's harmful to our society to have a society that says that sex outside of marriage is something that should be encouraged or tolerated, particularly among the young. I think it has, as we've seen, very harmful long-term consequences for society. So birth control to me enables that and I don't think it's a healthy thing for our country."

--Saying that birth control is harmful to women, society and our country. CN8's "Nitebeat with Barry Nolan", July 28, 2005.

"The notion that college education is a cost-effective way to help poor, low-skill, unmarried mothers with high school diplomas or GEDs move up the economic ladder is just wrong."

--Arguing that poor, unwed mothers don't really need college educations. It Takes a Family,

"I compared it to something that Adolf Hitler didn't do, as opposed to something he did do. And that's a big difference. It was an attempt to make a joke. You probably have learned this in your career, I'm still learning that you don't make jokes using Hitler."

--Clarifying that, rather than just comparing Democrats to Hitler, he was actually saying that Democrats were doing something that even Hitler wouldn't have had the audacity to do. And then saying that it was all just a silly joke anyway. "The Don Imus Show", MSNBC, June 23, 2005.

Timothy|11.8.06 @ 11:28PM|

Look, it is funny when people cry on TV because it's usually so obviously contrived. Santorum put his kid up there hoping that would happen, so people would feel bad for him. We laughed instead. The end.

|11.8.06 @ 11:28PM|

Jesse Walker,

To be fair, no one here suggested making the Santorum's mode of grieving illegal, or asserted that it would damn them to hell.

|11.8.06 @ 11:30PM|

Yeah, being an asshole is really a very witty thing, and oh so libertarian! Is this a big deal? No. Is Santorum an asshole? Yeah, no doubt. So what? The kid is not some extension of a politician, and it only the common numbskullery, of which Santorum no doubt is a prime example, that seeks to make every last thing on earth fodder for politics, even the behavior of some kid. A lot of you nitwits are just a mirror image of ol' Ricky.

|11.8.06 @ 11:31PM|

Aresen: I peed my pants in front of friends when I was twelve. I survived.

I notice you didn't say "I survived and got laid before college".

Mommy|11.8.06 @ 11:32PM|

My son has a Mom and a Mommy.

I love children - especially mine and I hate to see children cry. However, in light of how this "family man" has attacked my family - I couldn't help but laugh. There is nothing too low that could be directed toward a man who has no regard for my son or my family. Making fun of his display child is nothing compared to what he's said about my son, my spouse, me and my family. Although the photo of him eating the ice cream or doing whatever he was doing to the ice cream, made me laugh even more. I hope the Mrs. uses protection.

|11.8.06 @ 11:38PM|

TWC: "suspense of disability"?

Freudian slip?:)

|11.8.06 @ 11:41PM|

If I understand you correctly, mommy, the fact that Santorum is a prick to your child means that the intelligent response is for you to be a cunt to his.

happy|11.8.06 @ 11:42PM|

After reflecting on all of these pcitures it occurs to me that

1. It's not nearly as funny if she isn't holding that doll and if she isn't wearing the same clothes as the doll.

2. The oldest son looks kinda Jim Talent

|11.8.06 @ 11:45PM|

I thought this was a Photoshop edit for 10 minutes & I will forever love H&R even more now.

That doll must be a relative of Chucky, that explains it all.

The Wine Commonsewer|11.8.06 @ 11:46PM|

bio, I guess it was a freudian slip, eh? I didn't even notice it and was baffled at first to see your note.

Other than that, I did notice that my comment could have used some editing.

I blame the wine.

|11.8.06 @ 11:49PM|

Jesus people, as long as no one loses an eye, it is still funny.

Sandy|11.8.06 @ 11:50PM|

Wow.

I feel a little sympathy for the kid, because my parents had to warn me not to cry if Reagan lost in '80 (I was a young dork, what can I say).

But Julian's post is hilarious.

Seriously, relax, people.

|11.9.06 @ 12:03AM|

TWC, don't worry, PWI (posting while intoxicated) isn't illegal. not yet, anyway.

|11.9.06 @ 12:05AM|

Sandy, I also identified strongly with Michael J. Fox's character on Family Ties. he was the ur-young republican

|11.9.06 @ 12:06AM|

Toshiro =

I love you if only because your name is Toshiro Mifune - greatest actor of all @#$(*@ time. Also ham tears are funny.

here's a shot of toshiro rubbing his nipples to distrct the attention of some samurai shooting craps in a cornfield.

http://www.elpais.es/elpaismedia/babelia/media/200502/05/ensayo/20050205elpbabens_4_I_LBW.jpg

brando, eat your heart out

JG

|11.9.06 @ 12:07AM|

I laughed. Maybe that makes me a bad person (and I do enjoy schadenfreude a bit too much, admittedly). I think she's praying, which is even more hilarious.

Yeah, I pretty much deserve to die.

Or maybe all the beating up on Julian is just bitterness over Ms. Howley.

Anyway the best thing is imagining what horrible scenarios (certainly involving gays and Muslims) are playing out in that feeble 8-year old mind.

God have mercy...

|11.9.06 @ 12:07AM|

I'm a fan of reason and this blog. I am not a fan of Santorum.

Your post was not funny. The fact that it's "not funniness" is actually destructive is amply demonstrated by Jon H's reaction.

As for those would like people to relax? Well, that's a common, easy response: "Seriously, relax, people."

The more brave--even more libertarian!--response in certain situation is: Tighten up, people! The go-along or relax response is oh, so sheep-like.

|11.9.06 @ 12:09AM|

Best. Thread. Ever.

|11.9.06 @ 12:12AM|

A lot of you nitwits are just a mirror image of ol' Ricky.

I beg to differ good sir.

I dont pick of people because of politics. I pick on people because THEY ARE FUNNY.

we're not making fun of the thing because of any bias. If anything (which it's not!) whats potentially 'libertarian' about it is that we're willing to entertain certain pokes at social norms because they're harmless and amusing. if you're not amused, fine. change the channel. free world, etc. but stamping one's foot in indignation will do nothing but add to the amusement of those that find the whole thing a harmless toss off in the first place. as we have seen

JG

|11.9.06 @ 12:13AM|

Or maybe all the beating up on Julian is just bitterness over Ms. Howley

quite true, milord Duppy. and it didn't help that Ms. Howley was confessing her prediliction for Agent Provocateur on Hit and Run the other day. I spent the rest of the day (alright, week) daydreaming about Kate Moss and Kerry Howley.

|11.9.06 @ 12:17AM|

Those kids are like The Children of the Corn

Kap|11.9.06 @ 12:19AM|

If I understand you correctly, mommy, the fact that Santorum is a prick to your child means that the intelligent response is for you to be a cunt to his.



The fact that Santorum outlawed her family I think entitles her to merely laugh at his. He built a career on trying his level best to rend other peoples' families; I cannot feel sympathy for our merely mocking his.

I think it is very clear most of us that we mean the man's children no harm, it is dad who is the object of our scorn, and rightfully so.

Santorum will be Hell's janitor, facing an eternity of condoms flushed by gleeful queens.

|11.9.06 @ 12:38AM|

Wow, this is post 301. I got here late. What's the record for H & R comments?

Santorum must have the dorkiest looking family in the history of the world. This is one of those times when real life is funnier than satire could ever be.

Seeing fat people suffer always makes me happy especially fat christian conservatives.

As for you people upset at this thread, first Howard Stern went off of TV. This is my last oasis away from political corectness. Damn you to hell for trying to take that away from me!

|11.9.06 @ 1:09AM|

kap, if Santorum is the sole object of scorn, what is the logical reason for mentioning the kid at all? You are being disingenuous. You have decided that because Santorum is a prick, a third party who can't even defend herself as an adult should be treated with scorn. It is quite reasonable to thus conclude, in a very calm, non foot-stomping manner, that you are an asshole. See, doesn't ratcheting up the contempt with which we view one another, not because we have done something specifically immoral, but only due to our non-voluntary associations with others, improve our social atmosphere?

jg, apparently you have difficulty in differentiating between the set know as "a lot of you nitwits", and the set know as "you". If the comment didn't apply to you, fine, but many in this thread have specifically stated that it is Santorum's political views and actions which cause the kid to be a legitimate object of ridicule. It takes no foot-stamping or histrionics to reasonably think that people who think this way are merely the mirror image of that which they view with contempt.

Chalupa, it doesn't upset me at all to observe that some people in this thread are assholes. Hey, maybe it's funny!

Sandy|11.9.06 @ 1:15AM|

As for those would like people to relax? Well, that's a common, easy response: "Seriously, relax, people."

The more brave--even more libertarian!--response in certain situation is: Tighten up, people! The go-along or relax response is oh, so sheep-like.



That may be the more Libertarian Party response, but somehow I think inappropriate humor is at least small-l libertarian, if not universal.

|11.9.06 @ 1:31AM|

Wow...Santorum and K-Fed get their walking papers within hours of each other.

Maybe there is a God...

|11.9.06 @ 1:49AM|

What is the record for # of comments?

Kap|11.9.06 @ 2:17AM|

Will,

What did Mommy's kids do to deserve Santorum's scorn and attempt to break up their family? Aren't they also a victim of their non-voluntary associations? What has any gay person done to deserve his attacks?

Which is not to claim that I am not an asshole. We are all (at least those of us bringing the Fark) being assholes; that is the fun. You don't always have to be a Serious Grownup Libertarian Theorist. Nobody entered this thread expecting mature behavior, and if it offends you why are you still here in the middle of the night?

Santorum's kids are not in this room, and if they were nobody here would be making fun of them to their face. We'd all sidle out the back door, whistling quietly and pointing at Julian.

Don't claim that I am being disingenuous when you are claiming that Santorum's kids are actually being traumatized by this thread; no 8 year old reads Reason, except maybe Sandy, and he frightens us. If this thread was brought to their attention that would undoubtably be done by their father to extract yet more mileage from his family.

If Santorum himself showed up my response to him would be, "See, this is what it feels like when an asshole attacks your family." That asshole would be me. I'm not ashamed to play that role here, and I doubt I'd be the only one. The best way to deal with a gay-hater is to present him with a choice of assholes from which to select. We're only trying to be accommodating.

See, doesn't ratcheting up the contempt with which we view one another...


...by calling people cunts and assholes?

I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

/righteous indignation tastes like ham.

|11.9.06 @ 3:05AM|

Y'know, to be fair, I'm not convinced the kid is all that fat. I think a lot of it is just that dress and it's hideous puffy arms and lack of any belt to keep it from billowing out, combined with the scrunched-up face. Anyone can and will look fat if they wear clothes that are designed to remove the appearance of any sort of shape.

...yep, checked other pictures, kid is definately not fat.

God|11.9.06 @ 5:02AM|

Buahahahahahahahahahah.... Its like the reverse of the Adams Family. Shit they scare!

Bob|11.9.06 @ 5:06AM|

Why do parents hate their children.

Todd Frye|11.9.06 @ 5:32AM|

Funny stuff. If the kid's worst childhood memory turns out to be a photograph of herself during her douchebag father's concession speech, as well as a lot of catty sniping on a liberal blog about it, then she should grow up reasonably sane and pleasant (unlike dear old Dad).

|11.9.06 @ 7:31AM|

Libertarian, if you please. We do have some standards.

|11.9.06 @ 7:38AM|

I think it's a mistake to call Rick's spawn 'children' in the classic, human being-centric sort of way, really... they're more like Burtonesque constructs he whipped up in the basement whilst puttering. You don't really think he'd actually deposit his Seed near any filthy, nasty scary WOMAN PARTS do you? c'mon...

|11.9.06 @ 7:45AM|

What is the BFD here? Little girls cry at the drop of a fucking hat. She's not crying because someone killed her family or like--it's becasue her daddy dragged her ass out to participate in his public humiliation. If this is the worst thing that happens to her this week, she is luckier than most children in this world.

edna|11.9.06 @ 8:37AM|

'd probably cry like that too if I thought I might have to move back to Pittsburgh or some other god awful, Pennsylvania place.

not gonna happen. try the virginia suburbs, so daddy can rake in $4MM a year as a lobbyist trying to pick our pockets.

my 5 yr old cries just like that when i won't buy him the latest berenstain bears book.

ed|11.9.06 @ 8:38AM|

Can I be the last one? Please?

|11.9.06 @ 8:43AM|

many in this thread have specifically stated that it is Santorum's political views and actions which cause the kid to be a legitimate object of ridicule.

not really.

its more simply a coincidence of their digust for santorum (legitimate and due), and their assumption that its OK to make off color jokes.

Yes, we wouldnt be ragging on the children of politicians we actually admire (...any? me personally, none at the moment) - but this isnt 'political'. its irreverance. it's funny because it can be. Getting your panties in a twist simply gives people more reason to hoot over the topic, which is admittedly, in both subject and form, juvenile.

potential caption for photo? =

"But Jeebus, you Pwomised!!"

JG

m. takhallus|11.9.06 @ 8:46AM|

You really are a worthless human being. Deriving pleasure from a child's pain? That's not politics, that's a sickness down deep in your vile little soul. Get help.

|11.9.06 @ 9:03AM|

You know, before this thread gets buried in other posts, somebody at reason should post it up top so we can continue it.

ed|11.9.06 @ 9:29AM|

Nah, it's old news.
Time to start bashing Pelosi.

MeanBobMean|11.9.06 @ 9:36AM|

Well, it is funny and the auhtor notes he is not intentionally going after the little girl. But people who use their children as Campaign props get what they are demanding they get.

I think Santorum sincerely loves his kids, but one should be prudent enough to sequester one's most prized possessions from one's own stupidity. The kids get plenty of politics without being sleep deprived and traumatized. See Juniors classic reaction here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/aggressiveplaid/292015361/

|11.9.06 @ 9:56AM|

If nothing else, can we all agree that the "Yeah, well things are worse in (fill in the blank)" rationalization is kinda lame?

|11.9.06 @ 10:05AM|

I dunno. Have you ever been to (fill in the blank)?
Terrible there. Kids are forced to (blank) every day!

|11.9.06 @ 10:18AM|

kap, I'm not offended. I'm merely making the very reasonable observation that people who ridicule a kid becasue they don't like the kid's asshole father (and no, I'm not defending Santorum) are themselves just the mirror image of the same asshole. If they weren't ridiculing the kid the kid because of the kid's father, then some people in this thread wouldn't have gone to such lengths to explain why Santorum was so bad, which I happen to agree with.

|11.9.06 @ 10:27AM|

Isn't that Jim McGreevy over Rick's right shoulder? Another example of a gay politician costing the Republicans an election.

Lincoln|11.9.06 @ 10:28AM|

daydreaming about Kate Moss

Making fun little girls in anguish and dead babies is perfectly acceptable but this infatuation has crossed the line. Exactly what could you do with Kate Moss that wouldn't break every bone in her body? Real women have, you know, hips and breasts and maybe even an ass and are not built like 12 year old girls Biologist!.

|11.9.06 @ 10:32AM|

Can't say as i'm real happy with this entry. I've never thought Julian Sanchez added all that much to this blog anyway. Maybe it's time he moves on to the LA Times like the rest of 'em. I think with the firepower that Radley just brought aboard, nobody'd even notice Julian was gone.

I feel bad for the kid.

True story: a few days ago I was pulling into an IHOP parking lot. The car in front of me had a Senate plate, and I recognized the driver as our local Senator. She parked next to another truck, and a boy got out -- her son I assume. He looked about 8. He was crying his eyes out. No idea why. The Senator walked him over towards the restaurant, and sat on the curb with him and held him, while he cried and cried and cried. Eventually the kid was all right, and they came inside and ate. But I felt terrible for both her and her son. Then I started thinking about the juvenile attack ads that have been on TV attacking her lately.

Who knows what kind of shit these kids have to put up with, having parents running for office?

|11.9.06 @ 10:34AM|

Yes, little one, I have abandoned your daddy. And no, most of the voices your brother hears aren't coming from me, although I did tell him to sodomize your father at precisely the moment this photo was taken.

|11.9.06 @ 10:43AM|

I dunno. Have you ever been to (fill in the blank)?
Terrible there. Kids are forced to (blank) every day!


No, but I saw a documentary about (fill in the blank) on MSNBC once. Does that count?

Kap|11.9.06 @ 10:48AM|

Will, I was being overly defensive, as I am now convinced I am going to hell for participating in this thread. No hard feelings.

See, this is what I love about Rick Santorum: He has made our family stronger™.

(Wipes tear from eye.)

(With middle finger, like Santorum Jr.)

|11.9.06 @ 10:56AM|

You'd be crying or giving a scared shitless stare too if your daddy was Rick Santorum and you just found out he was going to be home more otfen.

Another Goddamned Liberal|11.9.06 @ 10:57AM|

How many tears did Santorum cause with his intolerant views and actions?

To me, it is the Santorum on the cake that he would parade his children out on stage as a means of garnering sympathy for his loser self.

And trust me, a day will come when that little girl will resent her parents for all of it. Especially the damn doll and the Laura Ingalls Wilder On Crack dress.

|11.9.06 @ 11:08AM|

First the Horse Lovers, now this.

ChrisO|11.9.06 @ 11:39AM|

I was critical of this, but on reflection, I suppose it *is* rather unlikely that the young Ms. Santorum will ever see this thread. Do you suppose that the Santorums actually use such newfangled inventions as electricity? All truly godfearing families read their KJVs by candlelight, just like Jesus did.

Alex R|11.9.06 @ 11:42AM|

Ok, there's gloating and then there's justbeing cruel. Good that he is gone, sad that his little girl is crying. As a daddy that makes me hurt a little. Still glad he's gone!

ChrisO|11.9.06 @ 11:42AM|

Fifty bucks says the Santorum kid picks his nose.

Pez Head|11.9.06 @ 11:52AM|

That little chum-gulper on the right has the thousand-yard stare of Onan The Republican. Watch out for that little fucker, he's going to be trouble when he grows up. I ga-ron-tee. He's already hatching some plan to "avenge" his deranged father's righteous ouster, you can see it in his eyes, and you can tell by the way he was raised. He's filled with hatred and the fire of publicized shame burns inside him. Daddy got crushed on TV.

Go east, young Santorum, go east. And keep on going till the bubbles stop coming out... or god help us all.

|11.9.06 @ 12:04PM|

Does Reason ever close threads?

|11.9.06 @ 12:15PM|

All of the moral scolds chiming in on this thread have made it even funnier.

Especially Daniel. I actually had to bite down on my finger to avoid laughing loud enough to attract the attention of my fellow cubicle-dwellers.

|11.9.06 @ 12:19PM|

Does Reason ever close threads?

I hope not - we could milk this one for months.

|11.9.06 @ 12:40PM|

Me too Mediageek, I am lucky to have an office in the basement, so my laughs are not so noticable. This thread should be bronzed for posterity.

dhex|11.9.06 @ 12:50PM|

yeah i mean this guy said "hey if dudes get married we're going to start pronging dogs and btw other straights will get divorced because TEH GAY is so overpowering etc etc etc etc and that's why we can't have gay marriage" frankly he's lucky we just don't link this to somethingawful.com right off the bat.

no one has photoshopped any bukkake on this or fake cocks or hitler moustaches (though the son on the right is asking for it), so take a pill that reads "chill" and then follow the instructions in step one.

dhex|11.9.06 @ 12:52PM|

"You claim that Santorum is intolerant merely because he has defended traditional morality."

no, because he's a fucking idiot who suggested that anal sex had non-local magical properties and the last dude to suggest that with any widespread popularity was ALEISTER FUCKING CROWLEY.

he's lucky we don't just cover him in oiled rent boys and then right before his greatest and worst fantasies and desires are realized we dump a whole kennel of dogs in the area and see if his theory held any water.

|11.9.06 @ 12:54PM|

Isn't this the guy that signed off grant money to study little girls sexual stimuli or some such crap?

Perhaps the little girl is crying because the funding she needed for her research is not going to be avialable anymore now that daddy is outta here.

Why can't the people of this country agree to allow people the freedom to do what they want in their own homes so long as they pay for it all themselves.

Its simple really.. Keep your morals out of my bedroom and your hands off my wallet and we will get along just fine. Why is this concept so hard to understand? I feel most people look at freedom as just that your free to do what you want so long as in doesn't infringe on anyone else and your free to be broke if you don't want to work. To many votes are bought these days and to many Evangelical meth snorting gay prostitute screwing bigots, between the two where can any common sense be found? How many times must we continue to give people more credit than they deserve for lying and cheating? This is one fucked up world!

|11.9.06 @ 1:03PM|

The boy looks like the guy in Sin City that moved quickly and ate people.

|11.9.06 @ 1:10PM|

No, but I saw a documentary about (fill in the blank) on MSNBC once. Does that count?


That liberal media outlet? No way. That does not count. You have to see (fill in the blank) with your own eyes before you can judge them. It's quite pretty actually. The (blank)s are huge - way bigger than they look on TV. Once you're there, you can understand for yourself why they (blank). I came away really believing in a higher (blank).

|11.9.06 @ 1:18PM|

We should be ashamed? Santorum should be ashamed. I don't simply "disagree" with him. We do not have a mere "difference of opinion." He was not just wrong, he was dangerous. He's taken religion and the Christian creed (things he and I presumably share and affirm publicly at least once a week) and twisted them into something repugnant, hurtful and evil. He was a danger to our body politic and our country will be better off with him out of Washington. Perhaps the Land of Nod has room.

|11.9.06 @ 1:24PM|

I think that Julian's post and ridiculous explanation to be tasteless and beneath the standards I expect of reason.

However, the comments are very entertaining.

I don't think the girl will suffer any permanent damage from this little episode. In a couple years all this will be forgotten.

I will not bash an eight year old girl for crying after her dad loses an election, but if the rest of you want to do it in an amusing manner I will certainly enjoy it.

Carry on.

|11.9.06 @ 1:31PM|

"David said: November 8, 2006, 3:44pm | #

Strange that an Evangelical Christian has a son at Hogwarts."

The Santorums are staunch Roman Catholics, who are one step above the Devil according to Evangelicals.

|11.9.06 @ 1:38PM|

I think that Julian's post and ridiculous explanation to be tasteless and beneath the standards I expect of reason.

...

I will not bash an eight year old girl for crying after her dad loses an election, but if the rest of you want to do it in an amusing manner I will certainly enjoy it.


Flyover, you're being a sissy.

|11.9.06 @ 1:39PM|

You have to see (fill in the blank) with your own eyes before you can judge them. It's quite pretty actually. The (blank)s are huge - way bigger than they look on TV.

That's what people like you always say when you go to (blank). We all know you really went to (blank) so you could (blankety-blank) with the (blank). You should be ashamed of yourself.

|11.9.06 @ 1:41PM|

OTOH, when in (blank), do as the (blank) do I guess.

dhex|11.9.06 @ 2:10PM|

"Flyover, you're being a sissy."

that's flyover country in a nutshell. let the coasts and those urban wealth accumulation areas do all the work. who do you think creates your reality? homosexuals and pagans. and pagan homosexuals. and interior designers who devote their lives to yog-shoggoth.

long story short, we are your gods. the sooner you accept that the better off things will be.

ed|11.9.06 @ 2:18PM|

I think I'd cry too if my doll just bit my nipple.

|11.9.06 @ 2:28PM|

I think Frowny is the best. She is trying SO hard to look sad... but in reality she can't wait to go home and tell her diary about all the fun she and her friends had at the meth-fueled lipstick party, while Daddy and Mommy were out campaigning.

Either that, or she'll die a fat virgin, and she really IS sad. Not sure which.

|11.9.06 @ 2:58PM|

You really are a worthless human being. Deriving pleasure from a child's pain? That's not politics, that's a sickness down deep in your vile little soul. Get help

Thats so sweet and moral. Will you be my daddy now?

I think we now understand that you have a sincere, intense contempt for people who laugh at A FUNNY PHOTO OF A FAT KID CRYING.

I admire your "moral" priorities: slam someone as a "worthless human being" simply because their sense of humor doesnt work for you. You would have made a great guidance counselor. In the middle ages.

I kind of find this righteous indignation thing hard to believe. We've probably slain 10,000 sacred cows on this blog, and THIS is what people suddenly draw the line at? The pudgy weeping daughter of RICK SANTORUM??

Seriously, I think this girl should now become the OFFICIAL mascot of H&R.

Her name, BTW, is Sarah Maria Santorum.

Me personally, i dont derive pleasure from a child's pain. Thats why I always gag them first.

I think that Julian's post and ridiculous explanation to be tasteless and beneath the standards I expect of reason.

Uhm. Isnt this the blog that covers things like ...oh, the right to eat horses, links to newsworthy items like "Naked man arrested after pulling awl from rectum", pays homage to the Weekly Standard in 'racist' Step'n'fetchit-speak, and describes Tim Haggard as, "one of God's tough guys, equally at home cutting down trees and sharing his enormous penis with his young son."...and where blog writers occasionally bitch-slap their readers if they get too snarky?

Maybe you should find a blog where you can share your sense of outrage http://tellsomeonewhocares@blogspot.com

|11.9.06 @ 3:12PM|

mk,

(Blank) you! I resent that implication. (Blank) your mother while you're at it. (Blankety-blank blank BLANK)!

Bon Bon|11.9.06 @ 3:15PM|

Senate campaign race: $3,000,000 dollars

Demonic looking doll to match your daughter's catholic school uniform: $35 dollars

Inadvertently making the case for gay marriage by showcasing what straight sex can create: Priceless

|11.9.06 @ 3:38PM|

You would have made a great guidance counselor. In the middle ages.

I'm sorry GILMORE but, after defending your right to find crying children funny, your accusing someone else of being a lousy candidate for a guidance counselor got my eyes rolling.

|11.9.06 @ 3:53PM|

I'm sorry GILMORE but, after defending your right to find crying children funny, your accusing someone else of being a lousy candidate for a guidance counselor got my eyes rolling.

Don't roll your eyes, fruitcake. That little girl needs to learn how to take it like a MAN. When my man Haggard was contending with both dirty sanchez and santorum, he didn't cry; he grabbed some meth and took it like a champ!

|11.9.06 @ 4:09PM|

Oh,I was thinking regular school guidance counselor, not Jesus Camp guidance counselor.

It all comes down to context, I guess :)

|11.9.06 @ 4:15PM|

Context, schmontext. I'll give that girl something to cry about.

Let me also take this moment to clarify something that has often been misquoted. I never said "turn the other cheek" or "offer the other cheek," or any such nonsense. I said "spread your cheeks," which means something different altogether.

|11.9.06 @ 4:41PM|

How much for the little girl?

|11.9.06 @ 5:04PM|

How much for the women?

|11.9.06 @ 5:10PM|

How much for the boys?

|11.9.06 @ 5:28PM|

Who is that standing in the balcony in the upper left corner? It looks like Michael Meyers from the Halloween movies.

I need a life. I'm doing anything I can to keep this damn thing alive.

Hey, webmaster! Close this thread for comments already before it ruins me. I've got a problem.

|11.9.06 @ 5:31PM|

highnumber, as a libertarian, you are responsible for your own actions. don't ask authority to protect you from the consequences of your own poor choices. :)

|11.9.06 @ 5:44PM|

I am big enough to admit when I need help. I don't want the gov't to step in. I just want my friend the webmaster to help me out.

|11.9.06 @ 6:08PM|

No, keep it going. Say something incendiary, quick!

|11.9.06 @ 7:20PM|

Phew! That killed it.

Sarah|11.9.06 @ 7:59PM|

Oh, please. I know fake crying when I see it.

|11.9.06 @ 8:16PM|

Goddammit!

|11.9.06 @ 8:26PM|

I'm sorry GILMORE but, after defending your right to find crying children funny, your accusing someone else of being a lousy candidate for a guidance counselor got my eyes rolling.

I know. You must have to do that a lot.

someone who knows that having a laugh isnt the same as a moral failing, dont toss out statements declaring people 'worthless human beings' over petty issues, have a habit of turning meaninless issues into opportunities to tout their own rectitude etc..... yes, that person would make a better guidence counselor.

and to be clear, its not that 'crying children are funny'

THIS crying child is funny.

Also, i hear Laughter is Gods Sunshine

http://www.stickergiant.com/page/sg/PROD/j/t30535

JG

|11.9.06 @ 8:47PM|

One last thought

The more brave--even more libertarian!--response in certain situation is: Tighten up, people! The go-along or relax response is oh, so sheep-like.

(i was rereading some posts to find previously unseen greatest-hits)

Tighten up?

I am really unsure what that means.

all i can think of is either squeezing my buttcheecks, or Archie Bell and the Drells

http://www.soul-patrol.com/philly/archie.html

neither of which are uniquely libertarian as far as I know.

Maybe 'big L' libertarian?

JG

|11.9.06 @ 8:55PM|

It will not die!!!!! Why can't I just walk away? I think the law of diminishing returns will save me. I am going to leave the office now, but I know that when I get home, I'll see the computer, and I'll think, "Maybe I can take one last look at the crying Santorum girl, then I'll check my email," but no, I'll have to scroll down and see if anybody wrote anything like

I see a "Santorums" sitcom...

No lie, after looking at that picture, I think my tubes just tied themselves.

I'm not sure if she is crying or is preparing to detonate.

Walks into room. **Blinks** Walks back out.

The gay men are coming and bringing their goats. And they are all going to rape daddy.

She appears to be suffering in the photograph and that's the position which I will hold to.

Are you people serious? 200+ comments about THIS? For fuck's sake explain to me why humor must be in good taste for some of you to find it amusing.

Poor, poor fat girl. Do your tears smell like ham ?

You people are simply awful. Don't tell me you guys never crapped your diaper when you were eight.

I peed my pants in front of friends when I was twelve.

Fifty bucks says the Santorum kid picks his nose.

Let me also take this moment to clarify something that has often been misquoted. I never said "turn the other cheek" or "offer the other cheek," or any such nonsense. I said "spread your cheeks," which means something different altogether.


Hopefully I'll be disappointed, and I'll never have to check again. No, even if I'm disappointed, I'll have to check again. There's always that chance. Please close the thread to comments. Please.

|11.9.06 @ 8:56PM|

Also, i hear Laughter is Gods Sunshine

Actually, sunshine is my sunshine. Twit.

|11.9.06 @ 10:42PM|

I wonder what they told the poor kid was riding on this election. I mean the only reason I'd have gotten that wigged out if my dad lost a job was if I'd thought they'd have to send me off to the Poor Farm.

Surely they must have said something to traumatize the girl. "If daddy loses, it's because you weren't photogenic enough. Sorry, honey. It's your fault we won't make the mortgage this month."

shandango|11.9.06 @ 11:05PM|

I didn't even think it was a real picture at first...it looked like something the Onion photoshopped. Her and her doll are wearing matching dresses. Clearly it was planned that she should be holding a doll, that kind of coordination does not just happen. Unless all her clothes are made of the same bolt of red plaid fabric. She looks less like she is crying, more like she is pouting in the most unflattering way. It just looks really odd, that's why it's funny.

|11.9.06 @ 11:39PM|

I've never thought Julian Sanchez added all that much to this blog anyway.

Bull fuckin' shit! Don't listen to any of these people, Julian. When you write a book I will buy it.

|11.10.06 @ 12:35AM|

Kinda looks like something Norman Rockwell would have painted if he worked for Mad Magazine.

It's Bizarre, other-worldly, and hysterically funny.

|11.10.06 @ 1:42AM|

Kinda looks like something Norman Rockwell would have painted if he worked for Mad Magazine.

ROTFLMAO!!

I've been looking for the words to describe that picture all day, and here you've captured it perfectly!

I doff my cap!

Frater Plotter|11.10.06 @ 3:01AM|

As a former fundamentalist child (happily reformed -- an atheist libertarian adult, huzzah!) I have to sympathize with M. Santorum's kids. It sucks to find out that your parents are _not_ really so much in touch with God and the world, but rather are just another misbegotten spawn of the uncaring universe.

I, for one, hope that the Santorum family has spared no expense on the education of those children ... it doesn't really matter if an eight- or eleven-year-old has learned evolution or creationism; if he or she has learned to *ahem* REASON about the world, then sooner or later s/he will have an encounter with the Great Truth which cannot be explained in terms of partisan favoritism or narrow sectarianism ...

And if the strange & fickle goddess Fortune does smile, the young Santorums may someday join the keening and sighing chorus that calls on Mighty Cthulhu and Mother Hydra ....

(Damn you, Dan Savage! As if my own name didn't give me hell enough as a child. A kid has a hard enough time sharing a surname with Jason Voorhees ... being shunned from hockey was bad enough ... to have a name that means frothed shit is infinitely worse.)

Kate S.|11.10.06 @ 9:56AM|

Since when is pitching a crying fit because she didn't get what she wanted "suffering"?

Pansy-asses like aaa are what make America easy prey to terrorists. Next time your 8-year-old starts wailing in public because something didn't go her way, tell her to quit whining.

|11.10.06 @ 10:44AM|

One picture is worth a thousand abstinence education classes.

On second thought Kerry. I think you are being selfish in not breeding with Julian right away. Having your own depressed "fat" kid would be a neverending source of hilarity for him. How can you be so selfish?

|11.10.06 @ 11:33AM|

"Pansy-asses like aaa" are actually Canadian.

|11.10.06 @ 1:55PM|

The whole bunch looks like the Addams Family.

The photo could only be made funnier if we learned that the fat little girl had Tourettes and Frodo Baggins there on the right turned out to be "good with colors" and a fan of Liza Minelli. Even if he didn't, I'd still wager a bright, shiney nickel that he'll snap at some point and become a serial killer.

|11.10.06 @ 2:45PM|

The whole bunch looks like the Addams Family.

You rang?

|11.10.06 @ 2:59PM|

Oh god. THis photo is gonna show up on Somethingawful.com's Photoshop Friday isn't it.

Christopher Gillibrand|11.10.06 @ 3:30PM|

"Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of God."

Only lefties would be able to come up with some of the comments above. What if it was your children crying for you?

|11.10.06 @ 4:03PM|

Well, Mr Gillibrand, I would comfort her and try to make her understand that she does not have to cry about my career taking a different direction. I would try to make her laugh at herself then for taking it all so seriously. What would you do?

|11.10.06 @ 4:24PM|

highnumber,
Your "world's greatest dad" t-shirt is NOT in the mail; Neither is the coffee mug.

You guys are a bunch of prudes|11.10.06 @ 4:26PM|

I know! I know! Rape her. C'mon, now that's funny!

|11.10.06 @ 4:28PM|

mk,

Where do I pick it up?

Are you addicted to this thread, too? We should start a support group.

|11.10.06 @ 4:50PM|

I just want it to get to 400. Is that so wrong?

Are you addicted to this thread, too?

The first step is admitting that you have a problem. The second step is getting a life. I forget what the other ten are as I never get past number two.

|11.10.06 @ 5:27PM|

I just want it to get to 400. Is that so wrong?

No. You humans should continue mocking Santorum for as long as he lives. After that, I shall ravage his anus in the afterlife.

396|11.10.06 @ 5:54PM|

396

397|11.10.06 @ 5:54PM|

397

398|11.10.06 @ 5:54PM|

398

399|11.10.06 @ 5:55PM|

399

400|11.10.06 @ 5:55PM|

400. Happy?

|11.10.06 @ 6:00PM|

sadly, no. It's a bit of a letdown.

|11.10.06 @ 6:17PM|

More! More! More! Don't let it stop.
I don't know if I'm talking about the thread or what Jesus is plotting for Santorum.
Would Jesus's santorum be sacred?

|11.10.06 @ 6:17PM|

Actually, 400 did it for me.
See ya!

|11.10.06 @ 7:58PM|

This is amazing! I never thought for a minute that Satan could have a family, let alone a family with feelings.

|11.10.06 @ 8:47PM|

At first, I felt bad laughing at the photo. Then I remembered that my tax dollars went to pay for this kid's cyber-school although she's probably spent less than 10 days in PA since birth. The kid on the right is just plain scary. You guys are on the target with him looking like Kevin (Elijah Wood's character) in Sin City.

adam|11.10.06 @ 11:21PM|

Santorum isn't a fundie, he's Catholic. At least get your facts straight

WBY|11.11.06 @ 12:39AM|

"But popular rage,
Hysterica passio dragged this quarry down.
None shared our guilt; nor did we play a part
Upon a painted stage when we devoured his heart."

- William Butler Yeats

Joe|11.11.06 @ 7:52AM|

So many comments from the folks who gave us the "Mean People Suck" bumper sticker. You are such noble promoters of tolerance. Can anyone say, "hypocrite"?

|11.11.06 @ 11:49AM|

How do you tell the difference between dead babies and live babies when you are unloading them from the back of a pickup with a pitchfork?

The live ones kick.

|11.11.06 @ 1:58PM|

Santorum isn't a fundie, he's Catholic. At least get your facts straight

I noticed that too, adam.

Interestingly enough though, he seems to have spent his political career pandering to people who at best consider his church seriously in error and at worst the Anti-Christ itself.

|11.11.06 @ 6:07PM|

If only his mother or grandmother had been there! What a hoot it would have been to mock her too!

VikingMoose|12.29.10 @ 5:45PM|

we couldn't find her, so we're mocking YOUR grandma, instead.

mein gott does she smell!

Harmonika|11.11.06 @ 8:49PM|

I vote we puree the whole lot of those kids, stick a funnel in mom's snootch, and pour the little motherfuckers back to whence they came.

But I've never liked children, so don't lissen to me, y'all...

sdfsds|11.11.06 @ 10:15PM|

You are a piece of shit.

art|11.12.06 @ 3:09AM|

This website is called "reason.com?" Interesting, then, that your comments re: the photo (and most of the comments in response) are so totally devoid of any reason, logic, or class.

VikingMoose|12.29.10 @ 5:45PM|

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a wall, who also has internet connections?

Art.

|11.12.06 @ 8:44AM|

Just remember this: the future belongs to the Santorums because they are the ones having children. These vile people making fun of them will leave nothing but a fart behind.

Chris|11.12.06 @ 1:51PM|

Wow. This post and the many of the affirming comments remind me more of a Kos diary than something I'd expect to read here.

The fact that you're joking (for those of you who really are) in no way justifies your behavior.

|11.12.06 @ 1:54PM|

What happened to this site?

maozowdong|11.12.06 @ 1:57PM|

Good thing people like you all are being aborted out of existence. You all stink like piss on a hot plate.

Finn|11.12.06 @ 2:15PM|

The "your tears are so yummy and sweet" line from Eric Cartman on South Park is really funny because it's a cartoon with imaginary characters.

The douchebag who made the statement here and the little girl were both real. Not funny.

|11.12.06 @ 2:18PM|

I don't like Santorum some of the comments here were very funny. But it isn't cool to make fun of an 8 year old. Wait a while she will grow up and have a pizza face then you can really have fun at her expense.

|11.12.06 @ 2:21PM|

I am an "uber-conservative," alerted to this thread via Free Republic, but I must confess, I've laughed out loud at some of the comments here.

|11.12.06 @ 3:21PM|

Making fun of crying kids gets you off, eh? What a pathetic waste of the Earth's resources you are.

|11.12.06 @ 3:28PM|

Oh the pleasure I will take watching you sick little freaks shit, piss, and cry as you put to death for treason. Just remember who will be blamed when several American Cities are destroyed by nukes. The groundwork has already been laid, helped along by your allies in Iran, N Korea and Al-Queda, with their public statements of thanks to the democrat party. The finger of blame will be put squarely on liberal freaks like you. Why do you think that Bush isn't that upset with the narrow loss of both houses? You have now paid your nickel to be on the Titanic as it sinks (think about it). So enjoy pounding your pud over the disappointment of an 8 year old child, I suspect that it will be nothing compared to what you will be feeling soon.

|11.12.06 @ 3:33PM|

What makes me laugh is the average IQ displayed by the jokers over here. Reminds me of a typical 11-year-old boy who blows milk out of his nose laughing whenever anyone says "fart" or "breast".

I'm going to give y'all the benefit of the doubt and assume that lethal doses of bad Saturday Night Live skits and a South Park addiction has made your brains soggy. Sheesh.

|11.12.06 @ 3:34PM|

I see we're hearing from the Crotch of America Choir now.

|2.3.11 @ 5:25PM|

To be perfectly honest, other than a few zingers, I found the thread upstream to be meh. And then the Santorum defenders come on and I'm rolling on the floor now. Reminds me of the "Everyone draw Mohammed Day" thread where the entire Middle East decided to pile on.

PaulCameron is right|11.12.06 @ 4:09PM|

Homosexuals like Sanchez should avoid wallowing in evil publicly. It only confirms what conservatives say about their heartlessness, sadism, and utter depravity.

|11.12.06 @ 4:11PM|

What a silly and mean-spirited post, picking on a little girl. I support most libertarian views and defend them all the time around the net. Thanks for making my job that much harder. I used to subscribe to Reason, but it's gone way down hill in tone since Postrel left. Snide, snarky stuff like this is the reason I dropped my subscription.

|11.12.06 @ 5:57PM|

Those of you making fun of the Santorum's deceased child should be absolutely ashamed of yourselves. I lost my precious son when he was 11 months old. It is a searing pain that hasn't gone away, even after 12 years. There is NOTHING humurous about dead children. Making fun of the eight year old would be embarrasing to most adolescent boys, but each to his own. These tasteless comments about the baby are waaaay over the line of acceptable discourse.
Even though those of you participating in the comments about the baby are reprehensible to me, I pray to God that you never feel the pain that I have endured over my boy's death. I really mean that. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone for any reason.

Chucky|11.12.06 @ 6:24PM|

Senate campaign race: $3,000,000 dollars

Demonic looking doll to match your daughter's catholic school uniform: $35 dollars


The doll is $149. The matching clothes are even more.

http://www.mytwinn.com

|11.12.06 @ 6:42PM|

Her tears give me vitality!

Dave|11.12.06 @ 7:33PM|

How can I "share" your sense of humor when you don't have one?

John|11.12.06 @ 10:03PM|

I would have voted against Santorum myself if I lived in Pennsylvania (eh, at least I got to help ditch Allen in Virginia), but this post is completely tasteless. The young kids of politicians regardless of party should be off-limits and anyone who finds joy in their sadness is truly one sick fellow.

|11.13.06 @ 12:45AM|

Do I hear 500?

Scott Tenorman|11.13.06 @ 3:58AM|

Avenge me!

Chris|11.13.06 @ 9:55AM|

Your joy at the misery of a child shows you are a loathsome human being.

You can hate on Santorum all you like, but your vitriol directed at children is grotesque.

"Reason", indeed.

|11.13.06 @ 10:43AM|

Whenever I start thinking I might be a libertarian, I run into this kind of heartless crap and the urge goes out the window. This lovely posting will keep me out of the movement another year.

billa|11.13.06 @ 11:32AM|

Now I understand why Reason is not as high on my list of things to read. When half the posters are mocking human feelings, small children, and families working together for what they believe, there's something worse than confusion.

S.C.|11.13.06 @ 11:50AM|

Wow. What a bunch of assholes. This is the first time I've come here, and the last time; if I want mindless bile I'll go to DailyKos.

Daemp424|11.13.06 @ 12:24PM|

Wow! Such an intellectual discussion! Let's attack a man's family because we disagree with his values. And let's not forget the name calling. I would thought that readers of a magazing called REASON would actually have something worth saying. I am wrong.

Demographer|11.13.06 @ 1:27PM|

Most libertarians are childless potheads, homosexuals, computer professionals or policy wonks. Their movement is a bigger abortion than liberalism.

|11.13.06 @ 1:51PM|

When I was young and knew no better (read: college), I was a libertarian. When I grew up, I left that arrogant idiocy behind. This post reminds me why.

|11.13.06 @ 3:56PM|

I'm sorry now that I let my subscription to Reason lapse several years ago as I am not able to cancel it in response to this unbelievable churlishness.

I think the reason I let the magazine go was its turn to the left. I see it is now attracting a good supply of Kos Kidz so I guess I did the right thing.

|11.13.06 @ 7:26PM|

"Man, I hope you guys never have kids of your own."


Libertarians don't have children. They eat them.

Jeff Culbreath|11.13.06 @ 11:04PM|

"Most libertarians are childless potheads, homosexuals, computer professionals or policy wonks."

Don't forget the ones who run tatoo and body-piercing joints. Oh, and some are into bail bonds. Nice crowd.

Paul|11.13.06 @ 11:45PM|

It's like the Amish cast of "Hairspray."

GB wins the thread.

Paul|11.13.06 @ 11:49PM|

Most libertarians are childless potheads, homosexuals, computer professionals or policy wonks

I resemble that remark. Except I have a child of age four. Eh well, 2 out of 4 ain't bad.

Jeff Culbreath|11.14.06 @ 12:22AM|

"I resemble that remark. Except I have a child of age four. Eh well, 2 out of 4 ain't bad."

Libertarian, eh? There's still hope. Do you have a ring in your nose? Wear a pony-tail? Are you trans-, cross-, pan-, or multi-gendered? You get bonus points for these.

John D.|11.14.06 @ 7:04AM|

[i]I thought that last night. No way I would have dragged my kids out on that stage. That was obviously a tough night for them, too.

Whether they were there as props, or as support during his hour of need, he made them stand out there on the stage with him. Be an effing MAN, dude. Don't hide behind kids.[/i]

familys stick together...it's a value, not a sign of being a MAN, dude.....a value you obviously are not familiar with...a shame

|11.14.06 @ 7:15AM|

I'm sure the poor girl, besides having been given the matching stepford dolly as a companion, has been told that Daddy's reelection was necessary for the world's salvation and now thinks the end is near. The whole family reeks of Christian smugness having to face harsh reality. When Dad loses his reelection bid by 17 points, it means he is despised. Deal with it, kids, life ain't a cakewalk.

|11.14.06 @ 8:57AM|

And when you look at that picture, it's like Mom is putting her daughter forward as if to say, "Look what you've done, you mean voters of Pennsylvania, you gone and made my daughter cry!" It's really grotesque. Jim Talent, another relgious conservative senator who lost last week, didn't pull a stunt like that and went out with his dignity intact. Looks like the Saintorums were smugly self-righteous to the end.

|11.14.06 @ 10:35AM|

Crying Santorum girl,

I wish I knew how to quit you!

Popeye|11.14.06 @ 11:19AM|

Don't forget the ones who run tatoo and body-piercing joints. Oh, and some are into bail bonds. Nice crowd
Now that tattooing is legal in most states you don't see as many heavily tattooed weirdos at LP functions. No great loss. Still to many sociopathic homosexuals like Sanchez though.

|11.14.06 @ 11:58AM|

Mr. Santorum is a better person than the great majority of the classless people posting here. He was willing to stand up for what he believes and articulate it to the people, unlike the cardboard, stealth Casey who ran on his Daddy's name. You people are the ugly side of America and you are certainly showing it here. God bless Rick Santorum and may you all go to where you certainly belong.

|11.14.06 @ 12:14PM|

What this also shows is that you are really just a group of bigots against religious people and people with traditional values. You think Santorum is self-righteous, but I think that shoe definitely fits many of the posters here. I don't think if Santorum were looking at a picture of your daughter crying that he would react the same way. But that's the difference between people with Christian values and some so-called libertarians. No class or kindness, just the desire to do whatever you want whenever you want and everyone else in society be damned. Perhaps you should examine your hearts and bigotry before you judge anyone else.

Allegra|11.14.06 @ 12:35PM|

I'm chiming in pretty late here but honestly... the most amusing part of this post is how worked up people are getting. The look on that kid's face is priceless. On the other hand, I was one of the lucky few to rise from a conservative Christian background relatively unscathed and I feel, not sorry that her idiot daddy lost the election, but sorry that it's going to be a long time, if ever, before she and her siblings have a normal life. The things conservative Christians and nationalistic morons do to children ought to be illegal. To paraphrase someone's post, man I hope you overreacting guys never have any kids of your own.

John|11.14.06 @ 12:52PM|

Except for some of Ron Bailey's stuff, I haven't found an article worth reading on Reason for years. Your magazine is boring and predictable and I can see now, with this post, reprehensible.

|11.14.06 @ 12:53PM|

Funny joke. Really, you slay me. Know what would be funnier? Seeing your family members crying someday when somebody kicks the crap out of you for being a f*cking azzhole. Now, THAT will be hilarious.

BTW, F you if you can't take the joke.

|11.14.06 @ 12:53PM|

Santorum is a Catholic.

So, what politicians do you know who do not make concession speeches or victory speeches without their families on stage with them?

I have seldom read such hate and vitriol. Nor such adolescent attitudes.

Steve in Texas|11.14.06 @ 12:54PM|

It is odd to see a politician with his family on stage. Totally unprecedented!

You people need to grow up.

Cycloptichorn|11.14.06 @ 12:56PM|

Priceless.

Santorum has made it his life's work to ruin any family that doesn't agree with his defintion of what a 'family' is, and doesn't expect others to take joy when he gets his comeuppance?

It's nothing more than he deserved, he's an asshole.

Maybe the kids of the family will wake up to the fact that their dad is an asshole before it is too late. Sometimes things like this can be cathartic - the kid in the glasses looks like he's getting a flash of the future of living with his asshole dad at home a lot more often. He has that look on his face, for sure.

|11.14.06 @ 12:59PM|

"The things conservative Christians and nationalistic morons do to children ought to be illegal."

Then who would have children (besides Muslims, of course, they have litters of them)?

Because libertarians are too selish and leftists love abortion too much.

Maybe when a Democrat concedes, we can have a picture of their sad-faced cats. All 22 of them. And when a libertarian concedes, we can have a sad-faced picture of, well no one at all. Because no one gives a hoot in hell when some idiot libertarian gets .0001% of the vote and loses - again.

|11.14.06 @ 1:00PM|

I'm happy to see Santorum gone, but you just threw "Reason" out the window...

This post is about as funny as Rush Limbaugh referring to then 12 year old Chelsea as the "Clinton's dog". You sure that's the kind of company you want to keep?

|11.14.06 @ 1:04PM|

Interesting - John Podhoretz just made an indignant post about this thread over at the Corner, but now it's gone.

wingnutx|11.14.06 @ 1:05PM|

When my bleeding-heart sister lost her baby to SIDS, she cuddled it for a couple of hours. I even held it for a while. Looked like he was sleeping.

They celebrated his birthday for the next several years.

Slightly creepy, but if that's how she deals with her loss then good for her. I definitely wouldn't take any shit from anyone about it.

Bryan|11.14.06 @ 1:08PM|

No, I guess I don't get your sense of humor. Hey, I can appreciate that sort of joke...but stuff like that is better off the cuff, not as a blog post where people can comment and tell you how unfunny you are.

Matt|11.14.06 @ 1:12PM|

One descriptor we'll never see in Julian's bio is "comedy writer."

|11.14.06 @ 1:21PM|

Wow, well done Sanchez for opening this can of worms. These comments indicate the same class and intellectual horsepower of the idiots at Kos and Atrios.

|11.14.06 @ 1:40PM|

If I believed in God I would pray that Sanchez would get a horrific case of pancreatic cancer and die. As it is, I hope someone murders any children he has or ever has. That goes double for the rest of the Kos Kids on this thread.

|11.14.06 @ 1:42PM|

Sorry folks. I'm just jealous that that picture looks better than my bio picture. I thought photoshop could get rid of my acne scars.

V the K|11.14.06 @ 1:43PM|

Man, I haven't taken this much pleasure in the suffering of a small child in days.

America's Left. Always a class act.

|11.14.06 @ 1:44PM|

Come on, we all know why some hard-core Libertarians can be such vengeful, vindictive sore winners, don't we?

After all, it's Libertarians talking about Rick Santorum here; and we all know what the hardest thing about being Libertarian is...

Telling your parents that you're gay.

|11.14.06 @ 1:46PM|

gaius marius said: lol -- republicans and fellow conservatives (if in fact you are), you should be able to take your decimations with more grace than this.

Really? You mean...like the democrats and fellow liberals took THEIR decimations in 1994, 2000 and 2004?

Corey|11.14.06 @ 1:46PM|

Jon H.--

Why am I not surprised that your political differences with Santorum eventually would give way to attacking his family? Shocking development. And your making a joke about his deceased son gives new meaning to the word "douchebag".

Many of you have no respect for a child while it is still in the womb, so how can I expect you to extend any decency toward a child only two hours out of it?

d.kelly|11.14.06 @ 1:59PM|

hands off chelsea, but the santorum children
are fair game? doesn't seem very pc, does it?

|11.14.06 @ 1:59PM|

Where's the photo of Bob Casey's victory photo?

Or did he drool too much for that photo to be published?

Joe|11.14.06 @ 2:05PM|

While I don't think taking glee in his daughter crying is fair game, I would like to point out that Rick Santorum has certainly taken glee in insulting children with gay parents, by telling them their parents are perverts and disgusting immoralists. Here's hoping the young Miss Santorum doesn't take that lesson to heart.

And I've said it before; I'll say it again: homeschooling is a form of child abuse. It stunts childrens' growth, robs them of common life experiences with their peers, and sets them up to act like a servant all their lives. It is criminally selfish and should be banned, and any parent who takes out their grievances on their kids that way should be locked up.

|11.14.06 @ 2:16PM|

Oh please, I attended public schools for 12 years and they sucked hard. I learned virtually everything I needed to on my own, by reading books on my own at home where I couldn't be distracted by the other "students".

The only thing public schools are good for are to create jobs for Democrats and to force children to associate with their "peers", most of whom are cruel, stupid and above all, bad influences. Public schools waste inordinate amounts of time indoctrinating students rather than teaching them. Public schools are woefully overfunded while they ridiculously underperform, by any reasonable comparison to other nations.

Parents should be encouraged to home school their children and should receive the same per pupil funding public schools in their location receive. Public schools are nothing but a racket and a ripoff.

Education should be funded publically, but public schools are not at all necessary and if they exist at all, should have competition.

|11.14.06 @ 2:23PM|

I found it funny. Mainly because it demonstrates how much of a complete tool Rick is. Putting his family out there for a CONCESSION speech is just wrong.

/one ticket to hell
/window seat please

Joel|11.14.06 @ 2:28PM|

Where I come from, we have a word for guys who "go after" little girls to "take pleasure in their suffering."

|11.14.06 @ 2:28PM|

Before you put a hex on him and his family don't forget that Santorum was on the compassionate side of the following liberal pet-issues:

1) Stopping genocide in Darfur
2) Combatting AIDS in Africa
3) Poverty and 3rd world debt relief

Just because he's against abortion-on-demand and gay marriage doesn't make him the antichrist. Come on people, where's the love?

FdS|11.14.06 @ 2:51PM|

"The things conservative Christians and nationalistic morons do to children ought to be illegal."

"Homeschooling ... is criminally selfish and should be banned, and any parent who takes out their grievances on their kids that way should be locked up."

So much for free minds and free markets!

Scratch the a libertarian, and there's usually a fascist lurking beneath.

Joe|11.14.06 @ 2:59PM|

Parents don't own their kids; they are guardians and custodians of them. So they have a duty to act in their childrens' best interest.

I guess by your logic, laws against child sex abuse are wrong - "hey, let's have the 'free market'!"

|11.14.06 @ 3:02PM|

I'm not "going after" Santorum's daughter

And I'm not canceling my subscription.

Oh, wait, neither one of those is true.

Joe|11.14.06 @ 3:05PM|

Ah yes, Africa: one-stop shop for any person who's done something controversial or questionable. Just pose with some famine victim or war orphan and watch your public image improve. "Why, no one who would care about a poor African can be bad!"

Brian: your depiction of public school is ridiculous in its paranoia. You are insulting everyone who went to public school - "Halp me Briean imm brainwasshed". Public school teaches more than 492 and 1776; it teaches how to interact with others. Of course, conservatives (who only want to watch Propaganda News Channel, live in a gated community, attend all-white country clubs, and homeschool their kids) spend their whole lives hiding from the world. So what would they care?

|11.14.06 @ 3:06PM|

Oh, come on, you conservative Reason critics, don't you think these kids need to be counting their manifold blessings instead of sobbing and sulking? Suppose one of them got cancer or was hit by a car or their house burned down. Losing a political race is not the end of the world, except in Santorum Land. And, come on, it's been obvious for months that Santorum was going to get pasted. Did they think God was going to fix the voting machines or something?

V the K|11.14.06 @ 3:15PM|

Recurring Theme: "It's okay to mock Rick Santorum's dead child because Santorum doesn't support the gay agenda."

Just how hard does your sphincter have to squeeze your cranium before that seems fair and reasonable to you?

You Kostards are the most disgusting, inhuman mutant scum-beings ever to crawl out of the sewers.

V the K|11.14.06 @ 3:20PM|

I guess picking on little girls and dead children makes you libbies and kostards feel really butch and manly, doesn't it? Especially you kostard females and trannies.

V the K|11.14.06 @ 3:25PM|

(Dead baby jokes have a certain cache in my social circles).



Yeah, they did when I was in Second Grade, too.

|11.14.06 @ 3:28PM|

What public school did you attend Joe? Did you attend the ones here in DC, where kids are regularly shot, half don't graduate and the per student expenditure is over $11,000 per year? How about the public schools in New Orleans? LA? NYC? Newark? Miami?

Or were you fortunate enough to attend a public school not run by Democrats?

Sending a child to a public school run by Democrats IS a form of child abuse.

FdS|11.14.06 @ 3:29PM|

Apparently in these social circles, dead-baby jokes are the pinnacle of wit and sophistication -- but mourning the loss of your child is "creepy."

Everybody got it?

Joe|11.14.06 @ 3:34PM|

I never said it was ok to make fun of her. And while you're crying your eyes out over how mean people are being, why don't share your outrage at Santorum telling kids with gay parents they are living immoral and wicked lives? Oh that's right - you don't care about that. Guess that makes you the hypocrite.

Brian, "kids are regularly shot"? You are off the deep end, Mr. Hysteria.

|11.14.06 @ 3:38PM|

How "regular" is "regular" enough for you Joe? Once a month, or is once a year tolerable?

By the way, weren't those rich white Columbine kids homeschooled? Good thing those kids were able to mix with fantastic peers like Dillon and Eric. That will help them a lot later in life.

V the K|11.14.06 @ 3:41PM|

Not "crying my eyes out," just shaking my head in disgust and contempt at how juvenile and hatred-filled y'all are.

I never feel better about being a conservative than when I see how sick, hate-filled, dishonest, cowardly, and childish the other side is.

Rick Santorum is a thousand times the human being you'll ever be.

Ever_Falling|11.14.06 @ 3:45PM|

isn't it great that we can argue over a picture? If I was 8 I would cry too. If I was a mother I'd see my child crying and lead her off stage. I am neither of these and I wasn't there so my opinion can't count. Wow, this wasn't even really an article but it's spawned debate over what the family should be and other compleatly unrelated nonsence (including this saying that it's nonsence). We've stopped looking at them as people and now we're looking at them as ideals or figurative models of whatever. Is this girl hurt? Will she ever see this post? What does it matter?

|11.14.06 @ 3:46PM|

EF - you're right - everyone back to work, you goldbricks!

Mike B|11.14.06 @ 3:53PM|

Wow, be ashamed you nasty little twit.

BTW, I'm betting that little girl could kick your ass.

Joe|11.14.06 @ 3:57PM|

Oh right - some schools aren't perfect so let's just give up and hide. Good thing you're not fighting the terrorists. Ya know, I once saw a car run a red light - that PROVES that we shouldn't have streets!

Rick Santorum is a sanctimonious, hypocritical bigot and anyone who supports him gives up a little of their humanity. He's teaching that little girl to hate like him. Good, decent people don't support assholes like that. I'll never cease to be amazed at the stuff the right excuses: racism, sexism, and general intolerance. Those people are the American Ayatollahs. You know it's true....

V the K|11.14.06 @ 4:05PM|

Bono praised the work Rick Santorum did on behalf of the world's poor. I guess that makes Bono a hate-filled right-winger now. Santorum also worked to secure millions in research to help autistic kids.

But, as we all know, helping millions of people in poverty, or helping autistic kids means nothing if you hurt the precious little feelings of upper-class American homosexuals, who also suffer the brutal oppression of not being able to get a piece of paper from a state bureaucracy to validate their interpersonal relationships. I mean, compared to that horrible insensitivity, poor people and sick kids should just shut up their whining, I guess. I mean, starvation and disease are just modest inconveniences compared to the horrors of a politician who hurts people's feelings.

Ever_Falling|11.14.06 @ 4:12PM|

Come on. When are people going to learn that just because you contribute to charity that that doesn't make you a good person by defalt? I can go throw 50 cents into a Salvation Army tin then go kick a puppy when no one is looking.
(Why am I still writing in here? Oh well.)

emerod|11.14.06 @ 4:39PM|

I think the photo is funny, for a minute--it's classic schadenfreude.

However, schadenfreude about Santorum brings out all the whiny socialists who consider themselves "emancipated" from prejudice.

Oh right - some schools aren't perfect so let's just give up and hide.

Let's see--the claim by public school advocates is that ONLY the government is qualified to educate children; moreover, the parents are not even qualified to disagree. Have you got a libertarian argument to support that?

Good, decent people don't support assholes like that. I'll never cease to be amazed at the stuff the right excuses: racism, sexism, and general intolerance.

Nothing like Reason columnists...best known for telling Christian children that their parents are all stupid hypocrites.

V the K|11.14.06 @ 4:48PM|

Nothing like Reason columnists...best known for telling Christian children that their parents are all stupid hypocrites.

Burn!

As for Ever-Falling-Past-Any-Hope-Of-Getting-The-Point, no, merely extending charity and compassion to fellow human beings does not demonstrate virtue. No, in this day and age, virtue is demonstrated by mouthing the proper politically correct talking points vis-a-vis "diversity" "social justice" "same sex marriage" and "global warming." As long as you parrot the right talking points, you can kick all the puppies, ridicule all the little girls, and sexually exploit all the interns and pages you want, and the left will sing your praises loud and far.

joe|11.14.06 @ 4:53PM|

Rick Santorum is a stupid hypocrite. That was all I said. One of my favorite lines of his: "If we allow people to do whatever they want, they'll just drive through red lights!" How that idiot got through law school is beyond me. Next time you heard a conservative lecture about not enough arithmetic in school ask them to condemn Santorum's stupidity too. But they won't: one is wrongheaded feel-good policies, the other is just one person's beliefs. Hypocrites.

I never said the government had to run the school; I only said the kids had to socialize with each other to prepare them for life, which homeschooling doesn't do. Try to keep up...

|11.14.06 @ 5:00PM|

I am an extremely liberal progressive who could not be in deeper disagreement with Rick Santorum over all of his policies. And I am completely disgusted that you people call yourself progressives. You are no better than Limbaugh, Savage et al. This is a sickening attack on defenseless and understandably sad CHILDREN. I will not even deign to address the scumbag who referenced his deceased child except to say you should be profoundly ashamed of yourself. Progressives should not be saying to progressives: Have you no decency, sir? At long last?

|2.3.11 @ 5:37PM|

This thread is effing hilarious by now. I just wish more people on Team Reason had kept responding...

|11.14.06 @ 5:03PM|

You people are inhuman sickos. Perhaps it's a good thing you kill your unborn children.

dhex|11.14.06 @ 5:40PM|

holy shit can i elect all of you president?

"Oh the pleasure I will take watching you sick little freaks shit, piss, and cry as you put to death for treason. Just remember who will be blamed when several American Cities are destroyed by nukes. The groundwork has already been laid, helped along by your allies in Iran, N Korea and Al-Queda, with their public statements of thanks to the democrat party. The finger of blame will be put squarely on liberal freaks like you. Why do you think that Bush isn't that upset with the narrow loss of both houses? You have now paid your nickel to be on the Titanic as it sinks (think about it). So enjoy pounding your pud over the disappointment of an 8 year old child, I suspect that it will be nothing compared to what you will be feeling soon."

this is amazing. it's art! it's above art! it's META-ART.

hail free republic! you are the situationists our generation has longed for since time immemorial. you are the dadaist glue that keeps our great internet civilization alive and well.

also: bottom post!

|11.14.06 @ 5:47PM|

also: bottom post!

Not anymore.

You know what this page needs? Horse meat! Yummy horse meat.

dhex|11.14.06 @ 5:49PM|

I SAID BOTTOM POST!

also:

"Oh the pleasure I will take watching you sick little freaks shit, piss, and cry as you put to death for treason"

and we're the sick little freaks? who's the one slow-stroking to our imminent AND RIGHTEOUS deaths, bruh?

free republic, heal thyself!

|11.14.06 @ 5:52PM|

And I am completely disgusted that you people call yourself progressives.

We're not progressives. We're libertarians. Very few actual democrats among us.

|11.14.06 @ 5:53PM|

Ooh, dhex, *Denied!*

dhex|11.14.06 @ 6:07PM|

you goddmamn lollertarians with your permissive asexual sexuality and all those piercings! go smoke some pot while rome burns, fuckers.

my ideal burning man btw is fooling a bunch of freepers to come hit the desert, dosing them with mdma and playing nothing but speedy j until they descend into a sweaty mass of conservative man-love. it'd either devolve into mass suicides or immimantize the eschaton, i know not which.

also yeah don't call us progressives that makes me think of car insurance; as i don't drive you're really fucking with my head, man.

(b o t t o m p o s t)

V the K|11.14.06 @ 6:07PM|

Wheeler, it's unfortunate there aren't more progressives like you. I despise Nancy Pelosi and everything she stands for. But if one of her grandchildren died, I would never think of making obnoxious, snarky comments about it in a weblog.

As for libertarians, well, libertarians are uber-materialists who think that all of society's problems can be solved with open borders, legalized drugs, and unbridled hedonism. That self-centered people hate children is no revelation.

I would have called myself a libertarian in college, but their absence of humanity, compassion, and common sense drove me away. I guess some of us grew up eventually, and realized that there was more to the world than gratifying our own selfish wants.

|11.14.06 @ 6:12PM|

Why do so many people conflate libertarians and libertines?

dhex,
THERE WILL BE NO BOTTOM POST!!!

FdS|11.14.06 @ 6:14PM|

"Why do so many people conflate libertarians and libertines?"

Because so many libertarians are libertines.

dhex|11.14.06 @ 6:14PM|

"As for libertarians, well, libertarians are uber-materialists who think that all of society's problems can be solved with open borders, legalized drugs, and unbridled hedonism."

hmmm, i like the way you think. may i subscribe to your pamphlet?

also, for the record i had no idea santorum had a child who died. it is immaterial to my central thesis that he is utterly fucking insane OR possibly an evolved plant for an extended OTO conspiracy attempting to bring forth the word of thelema by subtly invoking the power of the black grail. this way everyone thinks upon consensual anal sex as a powerful magickal operation, thus increasing the power of anal sex as a magickal operation.

YOU'RE PLAYING RIGHT INTO THEIR HANDS!

V the K|11.14.06 @ 6:16PM|

Why do so many people conflate libertarians and libertines?



Maybe because libertarians champion drug legalization, anything-goes sexual mores, and, as we see in this forum, viciously attack those who believe in traditional moral values.

V the K|11.14.06 @ 6:20PM|

Why do so many people conflate libertarians and libertines?



Take for example a fellow who comments at the GayPatriot blog under the nick "kdogg." He loudly proclaims that he's a libertarian at every opportunity. But he strongly supports the oligarchic use of courts to impose his social views; whether it be same-sex-marriage or any other issue in which the democratic consensus is at odds with how he feels things should be.

Scratch a libertarian, find a fascist indeed.

|11.14.06 @ 6:59PM|

.

|11.14.06 @ 7:05PM|

Okay, I'm stooping, but here we go...

libertarians champion drug legalization


Legalization, not use. It is your body. Do with it as you wish.

anything-goes sexual mores


It is your body. Do with it as you wish.

viciously attack those who believe in traditional moral values


Sir, I am married and have a family. It is increasingly rare that I attack them.

Take for example a fellow who...


No, I will not, unless you will take as examples Adolf Hitler for right-wingers and Josef Stalin for left-wingers. (Godwin has been invoked a few times already, so I'm clear.)

|11.14.06 @ 7:11PM|

Hey Reason Mag, next time you're not taken seriously, return to this link for evidence why.

Ed Darrell|11.14.06 @ 7:27PM|

Julian, I think your post unnecessarily poked fun at a sad little girl.

But who in the hell set up that photo anyway? What was she doing there at all, at the concession speech, posed as some sort of family photo?

I think back to the campaigns I was familiar with in Utah, where parents generally spared their kids from potential humiliation even when mommy or daddy won.

Were there no parents in the Santorum campaign? No wonder he lost.

Rick Santorum|11.14.06 @ 7:31PM|

Julian,

Your blog and it's readers are all class!

Rick Baby

Highlander|11.14.06 @ 7:34PM|

Who are you to define traditional moral values? My idea of values are kindness, decency, tolerance, and letting people live in peace. Neither Santorum nor the original poster here seem to follow those.

Btw, that kid IS too old for a doll.

|11.14.06 @ 7:47PM|

Hit and run is right. Julian, screw your PS, this is as wrong as the right's attacks on Chelsea were.

|11.14.06 @ 7:58PM|

*stunned silence*

Ever_Falling|11.14.06 @ 8:12PM|

"As for Ever-Falling-Past-Any-Hope-Of-Getting-The-Point, no, merely extending charity and compassion to fellow human beings does not demonstrate virtue. No, in this day and age, virtue is demonstrated by mouthing the proper politically correct talking points vis-a-vis "diversity" "social justice" "same sex marriage" and "global warming." As long as you parrot the right talking points, you can kick all the puppies, ridicule all the little girls, and sexually exploit all the interns and pages you want, and the left will sing your praises loud and far."

Thank You! You have no idea how happy that makes me! Most little girls i know are idiots, oh did I menchion that I'm a 16 year old girl myself? So by insulting ME how are you proving your point?

Sam Boogliodemus|11.14.06 @ 9:50PM|

So... The true face of Libertarianism exposed. Now I can understand why you voted for BlueBoy (Stan Jones). Is this really the face of Libertarianism? Pathetic.

|11.14.06 @ 10:16PM|

So, have we finally driven all the Republicans out of the Libertarian Party?
Thank goodness.

Dan Kauffman|11.14.06 @ 10:20PM|

"Yeah, but going after his 8 year old girl, and his deceased child, is."

Agreed most of what I see above is perfect for anyone who wants to make certain that Libertarian political asperations are marginalised as fringe deranged rantings.

"o... The true face of Libertarianism exposed"

Not true but they do seemed determined to present that impression.

I didn't go through the whole thread if there is some statement by the owners of this website disowning some of the more exreme statements it would be nice to know it.

Otherwise I will have to conclude this place is a waste of time for some reasoned Libertarian values and discussions I would reccomed any blog the Life, Liberty and Property online community.

http://truthlaidbear.com/communitypage.php?community=lifelibertyproperty

If I want to read stuff like this I can go to DailyKos or the Democratic Underground.

Eeyore|11.14.06 @ 10:23PM|

That was completely lacking in class. It also snuffed out any lingering regret I had over letting my subscription lapse, so it wasn't entirely without value. I miss Virginia Postrel.

|11.14.06 @ 10:32PM|

Anyway, now that we can finally be ourselves again, like I was saying...
I'm porking one of my 7 year old man-wives the other night when suddenly I realized that I hadn't taken my silver/morphine pill for the day. (I find it really hard to finish off with a dirty sanchez unless I get my medicine.) So I climb off the kid and walk across my floor which I've just lined with kitten furs painted with Jesus sucking cock, when I trip over one of the kittens that I hadn't finished deboning. I land on the loaded assault weapon that I keep on the floor where the kids can get to it (just in case). Luckily, it fired through the wall to the outside where it struck a 16 year old pregnant girl on her way to Planned Parenthood for her state sponsored abortion. She was fine, but I did save the taxpayers some money. Unfortunately, the automatic weapon discharged more than once. One of the next couple of dozen shots struck my horse/lover that I kept in my illegally zoned barn. Trigger 69 (that is, was, the horse's name) wasn't dead when I ran out to him, his eyes glistened as he stared lovingly into my eyes.
So I ate him.

|11.14.06 @ 10:39PM|

Funnier would be Dick Cheney taking Nanny Lugosi hunting... And well, to see the gushing stump that once held that botoxed Berkeleyan monstrosity would be more delightful than Borat.

Jennifer|11.14.06 @ 10:43PM|

As long as you parrot the right talking points, you can kick all the puppies, ridicule all the little girls, and sexually exploit all the interns and pages you want, and the left will sing your praises loud and far.

When did the left start singing the praises of Republican Mark Foley?

|11.14.06 @ 10:54PM|

I don't like Santorum, but I have no problem with home schooling in general. There are definitely some nutty home schoolers, though. There was a big debate in some home schooling material, the prominent Sonlight I believe, about whether it is okay for women to wear pants or not to wear bras. Don't know where old Rick stands on that point. But as a libertarian, I certainly can see why some parents would want to teach their kids themselves instread of handing their kids over crummy schools with idiot, socialist teachers. A lot of parents are more qualified to teach their kids.

|11.14.06 @ 11:38PM|

If I want to read stuff like this I can go to DailyKos or the Democratic Underground.

Then go there and take your sanctimonious jackassery with you. We certainly don't want it.

|11.15.06 @ 2:35AM|

"Scratch the a libertarian, and there's usually a fascist lurking beneath."

Actually, they're almost exactly the opposite. They used to be anarchists with a thin sheen of respectability...now with their wide support for abortion, drug use, draft-dodging/desertion, they're just Democrats that don't want to pay taxes.

|11.15.06 @ 2:39AM|

"So, have we finally driven all the Republicans out of the Libertarian Party?
Thank goodness."

What a coincidence. We're saying the same thing about you guys. Oh, and your count of election victories is up to how many now?

|11.15.06 @ 3:22AM|

I were you, I wouldn't be talking about election victories right about now. The whole 'blindly linking yourselves to a bunch of soulless oportunists in order to sublimate some feeling of stark terror of the unknown' doesn't seem to have the cachet it once enjoyed.

|11.15.06 @ 4:03AM|

My god. It's full of comments.

|11.15.06 @ 4:15AM|

I had a subscription to Reason for 15 years and I am a card carrying Libertarian. Reason was my favorite magazine. I sent subscriptions to friends as gifts. It is sad to see a magazine with such integrity sink into the Daily Kos style of journalism. I was once a very proud reader. Then I moved to buying it occasionally and, finally, to reading the freebees on the internet. Now I am ashamed of the magazine, don't subscribe to it and will most likely stop reading it entirely.
I am certain your response will be, "Then go there and take your sanctimonious jackassery with you. We certainly don't want it," (or some other insult) as you responded to another disgruntled reader.

This is not the Reason Magazine I used to cherish.
Eeyore, I miss Virginia Postrel too.

VikingMoose|6.7.11 @ 11:42AM|

we get it, Mona. You're canceling your subscription.

|11.15.06 @ 10:36AM|

Geez, why don't you guys go and marry Postrel if you love her so much?

This was just one post out of thousands by one particular Reason writer. Being individuals in an environment that promotes individuality, it would be wrong-headed to see Julian's ill-mannered thread as indicative of Reason generally. Not that the freepers care much. I'm convinced that they are only here because they saw an opportunity to wag their fingers at the evil "libertines". We'll probably see Medved here before it is all over.
If I hadn't been so angry when I originally posted (about 400 comments ago), I was going to quote Marcus Aurelius who said something along the lines of "Show humility in victory, dignity in defeat". We can see examples on both sides of why that advice should be well taken on this thread.

dhex|11.15.06 @ 11:25AM|

"Geez, why don't you guys go and marry Postrel if you love her so much?"

cause she's already married and like, that's immoral. i gave copies of the future and its enemies to everyone for christmas last year though, so that's kinda like marriage, i think.

i get so confused sometimes. must be the drugs/guns/general libertine ethos or whatever.

i'd say "if you guys like republicans so much why don't you marry them" but then the gay marriage conundrum gets flagged and well, we know where that leads to. consider the privacy shredding, police-state loving constitutional degredation of the last six years republican years, having the democrats pay some kind lip service to liberty will be a refreshing compromise of sorts. hey, remember when republicans were kinda against expanded government? yeah, so do i, when clinton was trying to get all that wiretapping malarky passed.

the fact that occult operatives/statist pigfuckers like santorum are getting bounced out on their illuminati-loving earlobes is just icing on the cake of lux. (ps don't ask what's in the cake)

bottom post (no homo)

|11.15.06 @ 11:34AM|

Belated apologies to the Aristocrats for my post from November 14, 2006, 10:32pm.

|11.15.06 @ 11:38AM|

well, I admit that I sighed a bit when I was writing it. Postrel is definitely marriable from what I can tell.
Now I'm fondly remembering that episode of Pee-Wee's playhouse where Pee-Wee married the bowl of fruit salad. Oh, someone should do a mash-up of that and Santorum giving a speech. The Freepers would love it. See! See what happens!

No bottom post! Yes homo!

|11.15.06 @ 11:39AM|

What a bunch of vile, inhuman scum most of you are. But coming from libertarians who push an inhumane, immoral, completely unethical ideology, none of this should come as a surprise. What normal, decent adult would make fun of, or attack children? You people aren't emotionally any older than that little girl.

dhex|11.15.06 @ 11:49AM|

hey laura is preventing gays from marrying righteous or merely awesome? i have a hard time telling the difference sometimes.

it is immoral to use the state to make violence against human love. IMMORAL above and beyond your petty ideas of virtue.

so take the sanctimony and peddle it with the freepers, sister; this libertine immoralist ain't buying it!

|11.15.06 @ 11:56AM|

I think this thread will keep growing until it consumes the internet.

I think this is an example of the "long tail." It allows so many humorless scolds to come together in one place.

|11.15.06 @ 12:47PM|

Which one of Santorum's kids do you think has the longest tail?

dhex|11.15.06 @ 1:05PM|

whichever one they decided to give over to satan first?

ave satanas! (bottom post)

emerod|11.15.06 @ 2:23PM|

joe irrationally opined:

I never said the government had to run the school; I only said the kids had to socialize with each other to prepare them for life, which homeschooling doesn't do.

Finally, someone has explained to us the true purpose of educational institutions! Why not pay $6000 per year for every child to join a country club?

|11.15.06 @ 3:27PM|

They'd probably learn more at the country club.

|11.15.06 @ 4:16PM|

You people are reprehensible creatures. You don't even know how vile and sick you all are or how wrong it is to hurt children. You think making nasty comments about Santorum's children is funny. As I've said and will continue to believe, and as has been proven here, libertarians are creatures devoid of concience, ethics or morals. Thank God America will never subscribe to your warped ideology.

|11.15.06 @ 4:20PM|

highnumber I would say you have the longest tail. Every male on this board deserves to have their dicks cut off.

|11.15.06 @ 4:26PM|

Laura,
What, no testicle crushing?

|11.15.06 @ 4:39PM|

highnumber I would say you have the longest tail.

I win!
Close the thread.

|11.15.06 @ 4:46PM|

aaa aaa, it should not be unexpected that "people" who have no qualms about allowing children to die because their parents can't afford medical care, would have any qualms about making fun of children or telling an 8 year old to "grow up". Did you expect to come here and find people who actually have a concience? Libertarianism is a monstrous ideology and its adherents are inhuman. How pathetic and cowardly it is for adults to attack and mock children.

A good definition of "libertarian" is: "One who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing, other than himself."

Would any sane person ever allow these spoiled, hate-filled, self-indulgent human beings to be in charge of anything?

|11.15.06 @ 5:01PM|

Laura,

aaa aaa can't hear you. It's just you and me now.

What are you wearing?

|11.15.06 @ 5:28PM|

Y'know Laura, there's something highly ironic about someone butchering an Oscar Wilde quote to make a comment about supposed libertines. Wilde must be spinning in his gay-sex loving grave right now.

Ever-Falling-Past-Any-Hope-Of-|11.15.06 @ 6:01PM|

That picture is so stupid, it's funny. Millions of children cry, why don't people lighten up? Her dad is smiling. Her mom looks... I don't know WHAT she is thinking and there is nothing there to do with gay marriage. THIS DEBATE CAME FROM NOWHERE. :-0 Amazing. Absurdist Amazing. Wouldn't it be great if presidential debates went like this? We'd show them a picture, give them one fact about it and see where we go.

happy|11.15.06 @ 11:45PM|

Best thread ever. And now the idiots freepers are here. Absoultely brilliant.

dhex|11.15.06 @ 11:54PM|

"Would any sane person ever allow these spoiled, hate-filled, self-indulgent human beings to be in charge of anything?"

no, which is why it's a great thing that santorum failed in his re-election bid.

i mean, let's face it - do we really need MORE occult operatives in the government?

how many masons can you fit on the head of a skull and bones pin in a skull and bones?

a lot. a whole fucking lot.

so spare me your squishy-soft claptrap, sister. your capitulationist attitude towards the occultist homosexual agenda makes me sick. are you just going to let them herd the breeders into the camp beacause one of your supposed "masters" uses his children as a shield? we're so busy laughing at santorum that we don't see the tentacles of leviathan wrapped around our necks.

huh, cut our dicks off. just the kind of sexual sadism i've come to expect from you degenerates. pretending to be some kind of upright citizen with the usual sexual sublimation issues; your standard jimmy bakker routine. you hold us in such contempt that you don't even expect the "sheeple" to recognize a direct reference to the masonic ritual of the "killing of the king," or the far older icon of ourobouros, the snake that eats its own tail and the priapic symbol of the self-generating generative organ.

you illuminati bastards make me sick. you think you're so great, with your robes and high church latin. well, we'll show you! just you try your satanic agenda mindfuck deathrays here; the red-blooded americans will toss your heathen asses right out of this great nation of ours.

|11.16.06 @ 1:54AM|

Last post!

|11.16.06 @ 8:27AM|

Last what, Shem?

|11.16.06 @ 11:44AM|

I invoked testicle crushing several hundred posts ago and now I find myself amongst those who need their dicks cut off.
We have come full circle. The left side of the tennis court is now the right side of the tennis court.

dhex|11.16.06 @ 12:22PM|

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

POST IS BOTTOM

|11.16.06 @ 1:13PM|

Threads like this are the reason that intelligent, wise, worthwhile people go into the private sector and never run for office.

|11.16.06 @ 1:54PM|

Threads like this are the reason that most people think the internet is crawling with cranks and jackasses. Regular commenters excluded.

What do I win if I have the last post?

dhex|11.16.06 @ 3:57PM|

nothing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

walto: i agree. hopefully it will keep the santorums of the future from running for office.

|11.16.06 @ 4:24PM|

I think the "freepers" are gone.

dhex,
What if I told you that I am really a dying 12 year old boy named Timmy, and my "make-a-wish" was to see Santorum lose and his family be humiliated and have the last laugh about it?

No go, eh?

dhex|11.16.06 @ 4:35PM|

wish on this, death boy!

hang on freepers / freepers hang on!

(buh bum, buh bum, buh bum, buh bum)

no wonder we're losing the war on some terror.

|11.16.06 @ 4:53PM|

What if they never close the thread while it is still being commented on?

I miss Laura.

|11.16.06 @ 6:54PM|

You mean the internet ISN'T crawling with cranks and jackasses?

I interned for a congressman 20 years ago. A terrific guy, everything you'd want in Government. Master's degree in a technical field, spoke 4 or 5 languages, had built a $100 million company from nothing before he went into congress.

I happen to be gay. He was very straight, happily married to his high school sweetheart, 3 kids. Once a week someone tried to extort him by claiming that he, his wife or his kids were gay, drug users, pedophiles or some other form of criminals. He left after 2 terms, he's making 50 times as much now in the private sector.

We get the leaders we deserve. Looking at this thread we deserve a lot worse than what we have.

|11.16.06 @ 8:09PM|

Walto,

Yeah, I slept with that guy while his wife shot my smack. Cheap bastard wouldn't pay me a dime!

I'm so naughty I don't deserve a leader.

This is getting beyond tired. This is lame. Everything serious that could be said was said a week ago. Some of it by me. Really, I did mean it. Still believe it. just so tired. must be last post. must be last post. must be last post.......

|11.16.06 @ 9:29PM|

NEVER!

happy|11.17.06 @ 1:53AM|

I keep waiting for this thread to be listed on memepool

|11.17.06 @ 8:24AM|

Looks like we've finally rid ourselves of that pesky dhex, eh, my precious?
Now for Shem and Happy. How will we treat them, precious? Oh, not well, not well at all, my precious.

|11.17.06 @ 11:06AM|

Still here.

|11.17.06 @ 11:32AM|

Wave your hand so I can see you.

|11.17.06 @ 11:36AM|

I'm winking with all 1,000 eyes.

|11.17.06 @ 1:49PM|

How many fingers am I holding up?

dhex|11.17.06 @ 3:16PM|

it looks like you're holding up BOTTOM POST!!!!!

Sandy|11.17.06 @ 3:20PM|

Sorry Dhex, but I had to announce that this will be my Christmas card image...with suitable holiday-themed Photoshopping, of course.

And no, she's not getting a pony.

|11.17.06 @ 3:36PM|

Geez, people. Get a life.

[Good ole reverse psychology]

Christmas card? You're playing right into Santorum's hands.

|11.17.06 @ 5:26PM|

2nd thought:
I am going to send out Xmas cards with santorum on them.

|11.17.06 @ 6:00PM|

EWWWW!










Last post.

|11.17.06 @ 6:14PM|

Shem,

You're getting one, you old bastard!

Beth|11.17.06 @ 8:37PM|

Well, I'm not a "freeper," but I'll say this: This post (especially) and the sycophant comments cheering it on are why the Libertarians will always be collecting dust in the margins.
What a bunch of fucking assholes.

Flame away, losers, I assure you, I have no interest in returning to a Libertardian feces-flinging mosh pit such as this.

(And to think, I once was actually a Reason magazine subscriber!?!)

Enjoy obscurity and irrelevance!

|11.17.06 @ 11:04PM|

Were you a subscriber?

Excuse me, were you a subscriber!?!!

Darleen|11.17.06 @ 11:31PM|

What Beth said

Big "L" libertarians are proving themselves as the ideological prigs they have always been accused of

fratboy mentality writ large.

One doesn't attack children. Period.

Really hard, eh? No Chelsea jokes, no drunk twins crap, no "necco wafers" or "were they illegally adopted" sh*t about the Roberts' kids, and the bovine excrement that you all have gleefully embraced vis a vis the Santorum children?

Please, DO have yourselves spayed. I wouldn't wish any of you as parents on any unsuspecting child.

meshugganahs!

thoreau|11.18.06 @ 1:01AM|

Wow, 589 posts and counting!

|11.18.06 @ 1:30AM|

And counting?
Really?
I stopped counting when the freepers and assorted weirdos showed up.

|11.18.06 @ 1:49AM|

Let me offer an apology to all those who have been offended here.
Most had thoughtful, reasoned responses to this despicable post by the most hated Julian Sanchez. I can assure you that due to the application of Santeria and good old black magic he and his spawn will not enter the Heaven that the Lord, our Saviour, has reserved for you. That goes double for the nefarious commenters who have also taken it upon themselves to denigrate this fine beautiful, dare I say, luscious, young fruit of the honorable Senator's loins seen at the top of this page expressing the genuine, heartfelt grief that we all shared. If you read the comments on this page carefully, you will clearly see that most of the devil's work present here was done through two individuals. It is my duty to offer up these two as a sacrifice to save our souls, which are sorely in need of saving after this horrible exhibition. May God have mercy on them.
Their screen names are dhex and Shem.

dhex|11.18.06 @ 2:43AM|

"One doesn't attack children. Period. "

another reason to cheer santorum's loss, interfering with gay marriage and adoption and the like.

oh, wait, that's probably not what you meant. sorry. didn't mean to introduce morals and values into the pissing contest.

dhex|11.18.06 @ 2:44AM|

may god have mercy on my BOTTOM POST.

Beth|11.18.06 @ 9:29AM|

I'm guessing the average age of most of the commenters here is about 15. Someday, this picture and this thread will be seen by the Santorum family, and it's just plain mean.

Why don't you talk about Libertarian stuff?
Or maybe there really isn't any Libertarian stuff to talk about.

|11.18.06 @ 10:38AM|

Right, Beth. Have you checked the other pages at reason.com? No? I'll wait for you to get back to us.

Darleen|11.18.06 @ 10:55AM|

dhex

Did Santorum pick on children? Got some quotes?

OH, I see, he questioned the wisdom of radical change to established law concerning the configuration of the PUBLIC institution of marriage. So that makes his children "fair game" for vile, despicable displays of ad homenim attacks, rather than any Reason[ed] arguments.

Sure, that makes so much sense.

Two points. Libertarians don't believe in marriage statutes in the first place, so the "L" true believer has no pony in the race, and the whole thrust of the "if you're not celebrating gay marriage (sic), you must be a homophobe" meme is straight from the identity-politics dogma of the far-left.

Sheesh. "Losertarians" indeed.

|11.18.06 @ 11:23AM|

Darleen,

Losers say what?
Oh, that's right, they say "I'm a social conservative."

|11.18.06 @ 12:09PM|

Non-libertarians who keep finding this thread:

Please move along and do not comment here. This thread is, for any serious purpose, dead. It is very very important to me, for no good reason, to outlast these other "losertarians," as you so wittily like to refer to us, to be the last commenter. This is not about you. This is about

BOTTOM POST!

|11.18.06 @ 12:11PM|

OH, I see, he questioned the wisdom of radical change to established law concerning the configuration of the PUBLIC institution of marriage.

Nope, he said that children of gays had abominations for parents. Made repeated comments about gay families. This is a guy who has built a political career on being a bastard to politically unpopular people. Hard to feel sympathy for him now that he's gotten what he deserved.




In the name of Baphomet, LAST POST!

|11.18.06 @ 12:25PM|

Cheer Cheer for highnumber guy!
Strike out the banners, carry them high!
Let's all shout our victory cry,
Never surrender!
Never die!

(To the tune of the Notre Dame fight song)

Darleen|11.18.06 @ 12:53PM|

he said that children of gays had abominations for parents.

Source, please.

|11.18.06 @ 1:11PM|

He equated homosexuality with beastiality. In an interview with the AP, he said that being tolerant of homosexuality would lead to beastiality being accepted. To say nothing of all the less egregious comments he's made about gay adoption. What exactly is the child of a gay parent supposed to make of a comment like that?



For the love of God, let it be last post.

|11.18.06 @ 1:33PM|

Shem,

I was looking for some sources to back you up and I stumbled upon this website:

www.christianexodus.com/

It's a free state project for Christian nutjobs.
Scary stuff, eh?







last post?

Darleen|11.18.06 @ 2:18PM|

He equated homosexuality with beastiality

Only for those that got "D"s on reading comprehension

And still doesn't give me a quote of Santorum attacking children.

Is Santorum associated with "exodus"? No? Well then why bring it up?

Or is it fair game to bring up NAMBLA when discussing gay-identity politics?

|11.18.06 @ 3:10PM|

I don't have time for this right now.
If she gets the last comment, I hold you responsible, Shem.

|11.18.06 @ 4:38PM|

"Yes, but [freedom] destroys the basic unit of our society because it condones behavior that's antithetical to strong healthy families. Whether it's polygamy, whether it's adultery, where it's sodomy, all of those things, are antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family."

Excuse me, it wasn't beastiality, it was adultery. Santorum doesn't believe that gay people can produce a stable, healthy family. This is essentially an attack on all the stable, healthy gay families that already exist, which, incidentially enough, includes children. Telling a kid that their parents are immoral and unfit is a pretty serious attack, even if you have to coach it in more moderate language to avoid dammaging your chances at a Senate election.

Please for the love of God last post.

|11.19.06 @ 11:29AM|

Thank you, Shem.

|11.19.06 @ 3:14PM|

Dammit.


The power of Christ compels last post.

|11.19.06 @ 6:45PM|

Your Christ can't help you here.

happy|11.19.06 @ 9:33PM|

"Someday, this picture and this thread will be seen by the Santorum family, and it's just plain mean."

OK, so if you are reading this and you know Rick Sanitorium, please tell send him a hearty GFY from a former constituent.

|11.20.06 @ 1:09PM|

Darleen,

Is Santorum associated with "exodus"? No? Well then why bring it up? Or is it fair game to bring up NAMBLA when discussing gay-identity politics?

As far as I am aware, no, he is not associated with it. I was not directing the comment to you. That is why I began the comment with "Shem." I thought Shem might find it interesting.
I think it might be more appropriate to bring up NAMBLA when discussing Santorum since he is Catholic.

|11.20.06 @ 2:56PM|

Shem did not even notice it until now. Shem just figured Darleen had stopped taking her meds. Shem also hopes that talking in the third person will get him LAST POST.

dhex|11.20.06 @ 3:25PM|

"OH, I see, he questioned the wisdom of radical change to established law concerning the configuration of the PUBLIC institution of marriage."

and fought to make sure that members of the PUBLIC who fall into a certain category cannot form legally-recognized stable relationships.

that is indeed a crime against children, far worse than mocking. and it is a crime against any adult who feels they have the right to define their life and their love as they will with other adults, to form families as they will, without interference by the state.

|11.20.06 @ 3:55PM|

I've done a little research. Threads from November 6 are starting to close to comments. Comment threads must be set to expire after 2 weeks. We're on for Wednesday. I hope you guys aren't working half-days. You might be stuck in the car when post the last comment.

|11.20.06 @ 11:28PM|

I don't work. I'm a college student. I have nothing but time. See you at 2:44.

|11.21.06 @ 12:57AM|

Oh, and thanks for warning me. I didn't know that at all. What's more, I would have kept that to myself, ensuring victory. Damn sporting of you.

|11.21.06 @ 1:03AM|

Just wanted to get this on the record;

"I remember listening to the radio when Santorum said something obnoxious about gay couples: An anti-gay-marriage amendment was a homeland-security measure, Santorum said, which makes gay couples terrorists. My son, who happens to be the same age as Santorum's younger daughter (the one weeping and clutching a doll in that widely circulated photo), was in the room at the time and he got pretty upset. So, yeah, we should all feel bad for Santorum's kids, but let's also feel bad for all the other kids that Santorum hurt."
--Dan Savage

Just for anyone who views this thread in the future who thinks that Santorum was any sort of nice guy.

|11.21.06 @ 10:08AM|

Shem,

I was in a fair play kind of mood when I posted that. I like the competition. In that spirit, I expect you will refrain from repeatedly posting, for example, single characters at the deadline to simply have the last post, nonsensical or not.

|11.21.06 @ 11:09AM|

Of course not, that's just lame.

|11.21.06 @ 4:11PM|

I got first post on this monstrosity. There's gotta be some sort of prize for that, right?

Right?

|11.21.06 @ 10:16PM|

It's not nearly as cool as the prize for last post.

|11.21.06 @ 10:52PM|

I've decided to yield. I've had a lousy day, and I really don't want to wait until noon tomorrow to head for home, so other than a possible ceremonial last attempt tomorrow morning, I won't be trying. Congratulations to whomever manages to win, I have no doubt you will get exactly the prize you deserve, if not in this life, then when you face the wrath of mighty Baphomet in the next.

|11.22.06 @ 12:30PM|

Ceremonial last post!

|11.22.06 @ 1:25PM|

We got more time, don't we?

|11.22.06 @ 1:41PM|

Well, it looks like I may be the last. Shucks! I don't know what to say. I didn't really expect this, so I don't have anything prepared. I'd like to thank all the little people.

Shem, I hope that you, Baphomet, and all the rest of the Masons have a happy Thanksgiving Day.

dhex, I wish you the best in your quest to defend gay couples' kids and nearly forsake capital letters.

Happy, I hardly knew ye.

Jake Boone, thank you for initiating a wonderful comment thread by not sort of picking on the girl, but also bringing her apparently psychotic brother into the mix. You're a good man.

Freepers, you are the unsung heroes. Without your eventual discovery of the thread, we might have all forgotten about it. Please do us the favor of forgetting about this website. We really don't need you nor do we want to enter into dialogue with a bunch of uptight Christians. We're all full up on crazy already.

Last, but not least, Mr Julian Sanchez, a hearty thanks to you. Great post - beautiful in its simplicity and hilarious in its spite.

Top of the world, Ma!

|10.2.09 @ 1:37AM|

Yoink!

Now, at long last, I emerge victorious! Gaze upon Jake, the Alpha and the Omega of the fabled Salty Ham Tears Thread! Muahahaha!!!

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:06PM|

"Yoink" backwards is "knioy."

It's true. You can look it up.

FrBunny|10.5.09 @ 3:27PM|

A relaunch coup! This is urine on the memorial of highnumber's greatness. Squirrels' heads should roll.

|10.5.09 @ 4:09PM|

Here's an update from the future. The girl was arrested for prostitution in late Twenty-Aught-Eight; the boy with the thousand-yard stare was arrested in an attempt to shoot people from a college bell tower.

Santorum, of course, took over Late Night with Jimmy Fallon when Fallon got canned after his first episode. Yeah, you're reading that right--they gave Jimmy Fallon a talk show. Go figure!

|10.5.09 @ 4:19PM|

Dammit! I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that meddling FrBunny!

|10.5.09 @ 4:22PM|

Jake,

I ratted you out to fellow Urkoboldian, highnumber.

You knew it was me, Jake. I broke your heart! I broke your heart!

|10.5.09 @ 4:28PM|

Maybe this site design isn't so bad, after all. I still hate threaded comments, but being able to post for all eternity in this thread, well, there's something to be said for that.

|10.5.09 @ 4:33PM|

Well, it was worth a try. I was hoping the squirrels would close this loophole before anyone else noticed what I'd done, and I could then gloat about my victory.

But noooooooooooooo... the servants of Urkobold* just had to foil my plan!

* All praise be upon him

|10.5.09 @ 4:37PM|

Be a man, Jake. Don't win this thread the sneaky way. Do it mano-a-mano by simply outlasting highnumber, who should be here any minute with a scathing attack on your mother.

Good luck!

FrBunny|10.5.09 @ 4:47PM|

Y'know, having been FIRST!!!111!!, there is some harmony in Jake also finding a way to be last.

(Easy for me to say now that I've ratted him out.)

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 4:48PM|

What? Sorry I'm late.

Jake, yer mom wanted me to tell you the basement's flooded. She thinks she cut the power soon enought to save your Super NES, but your comic books and your Sports Illustrated are ruined.
And she said to remind you not to forget the sudafed this time.
And the Everclear.
And the Early Times.
Yer mom's a fun lady. Cheap, too!

|10.5.09 @ 4:52PM|

Santorumdome!

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 5:07PM|

Cool it, pal!

VikingMoose|10.5.09 @ 5:11PM|

You know, salty ham tears go great as salad dressing.

|10.5.09 @ 5:13PM|

There's no better betrayal than betrayal by your friends and family.

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 5:16PM|

Cut it out, both of youse!

|10.5.09 @ 5:18PM|

Okay, I'll stop. But how does Viking Moose even know about this? Is he, right now, posting the news about the re-opened Santorum thread on Urkobold?

Is this somehow connected to the theft of your bicycles?

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 5:20PM|

Herr Moose has spies throughout the intertoobz. He even knows what you do when you're browing with Chrome.

VikingMoose|10.5.09 @ 5:20PM|

It is not connected. And I'm way behind on All Things URKOBOLDIAN.

I suspect this is Sugar Free's fault. Or Warren's.

|10.5.09 @ 5:23PM|

Geeze, ^#, I'd have thought you'd have checked this thread quite a while back. *I* came here as soon as I discovered the threadlock was gone. Clearly, I love this thread more than you do, ergo, I deserve this victory.

I'm feeling a bit vengeful, though, so I'm off to tell Shem that this thread is up for grabs once more. Even if the victor isn't me, it will be a Grylliader, not one of you upstart Urkoboldians!

|10.5.09 @ 5:24PM|

Wasn't there a space in his name before?

VM|10.5.09 @ 5:25PM|

As an original Grylliader, too, I can impartially declare Highnumber the winner.

and can get your taint withered as a bonus!

|10.5.09 @ 5:28PM|

Are we in competition? Except for Viking Moose's soul, I mean.

Jerry CHandling|10.5.09 @ 5:30PM|

That dude is crazy! I LOLed all day on this one!

RT
www.anon-web-tools.net.tc

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 5:32PM|

You?! You deserve a thousand years of whithering while sitting front row at a Bruce Springsteen/Rush/ABBA/Genesis/Barbra Streisand Green Party benefit concert with special guest emcee Ashton Kutcher.

Sucka.

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 5:33PM|

Wait a sec.

Anonymity-bot is in the competition?

Really?

I'm gonna go find Crane.

|10.5.09 @ 5:34PM|

Whoa. Even the anonymity bot has found this thread out. Did someone take out an ad or something?

|10.5.09 @ 5:36PM|

I was just thinking, "Actually, it'd be kinda cool if the Salty Ham Tears Thread turned into a place where the H&R oldtimers from various new hangouts could congregate without those annoying newbies..."

And then Anonymity Bot showed up. Goddammit.

|10.5.09 @ 6:00PM|

A secret clubhouse as it were.

|10.5.09 @ 5:37PM|

NO! I am Spartacus

Viking Moose|10.5.09 @ 5:38PM|

Yeah - Get crane

|10.5.09 @ 5:39PM|

I think highnumber should start another blog here. Is YourTearsAreSoYummyandSweet.com available for redirecting purposes?

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 5:41PM|

I sent up a flare.

Ellie|10.5.09 @ 5:45PM|

This one time? Viking Moose emailed me some pictures of kittens and they were SO CUTE and I was happy for days. Because he is the best EVER (sorry, everyone else, but you know it's true.)

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 5:46PM|

We definitely need Crane.

VikingMoose|10.5.09 @ 5:47PM|

YAY, ELLIE!!!!! (I lost your email address - the other Grylliadanders helped me out with that!)

VM|10.5.09 @ 5:48PM|

BTW - what about the other mega thread? (where PillyPeckr gets Pwnd?)

|10.5.09 @ 5:49PM|

I'm only hanging out if linguist and gaius marius post here ☺

|10.5.09 @ 5:50PM|

I tried to access that one, too (on Saturday, I think), but Reason's servers wouldn't even let me see it.

VM|10.5.09 @ 5:54PM|

jah. bummer.

|10.5.09 @ 5:50PM|

I'd do the older daughter.

|10.5.09 @ 5:52PM|

That reminds me. This thread was pre-Warty.

Warty|11.17.09 @ 3:47PM|

I was a lurker then.

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 5:52PM|

Over the line!

VM|10.5.09 @ 5:52PM|

ProGLib - Linguist and Fiance Linguist supped with us last week. A most enjoyable time. They're fantastic people. Ellie level of fantastic, even!

|10.5.09 @ 5:52PM|

I still think it's funny that the younger daughter got all the comments. That boy. . .staring. . .it's got to mean trouble for somebody.

|10.5.09 @ 5:53PM|

That's right, I heard she was engaged. She should go ahead and nup already! I like marriage better than engagement. Less planning. In fact, Mrs. Libertate does all that; I just agree.

|10.5.09 @ 5:53PM|

That's right, I heard she was engaged. She should go ahead and nup already! I like marriage better than engagement. Less planning. In fact, Mrs. Libertate does all that; I just agree.

|10.5.09 @ 5:54PM|

WTF?

|10.5.09 @ 5:54PM|

VM... next time you see linguist, tell her hi from all of us at Grylliade.

But especially me, because I'm awesomest. ;)

VM|10.5.09 @ 5:56PM|

you bet, JB!

ProGlib - went a little nuts with "send", there, eh?

They're nupping in May in Costa Rica. Andonyx, the hubbie to be is awesomely cool. Smacky is someone who doesn't get to town hier enough.

and Crane has been captured by evil fixiks types. They captured him something like 69 days ago!

|10.5.09 @ 5:57PM|

VM,

It's like the old days here, with treble posts and everything!

Costa Rica is nice.

|10.5.09 @ 5:58PM|

BTW - what about the other mega thread? (where PillyPeckr gets Pwnd?)

"The DEA Steals From California's Teasury" December 14, 2007, aka The anarchist circle jerk?

I'm getting a timeout whe I try to call it up.

|10.5.09 @ 5:59PM|

Ah, fond memories.

VM|10.5.09 @ 5:59PM|

ProGLib - yes it is!

woo hoo!

JSub - that's the one.

Highnumber - just make sure you toe the line before towing it!

|10.5.09 @ 6:08PM|

Nobody tell Reason.com about this.

What happens in Your Tears are so Yummy and Sweet, stays at Your Tears are so Yummy and Sweet.

|10.5.09 @ 6:09PM|

Good luck with that. The Squirrel appears to be all-knowing, all-seeing.

|10.5.09 @ 6:11PM|

Well he gave me preview back, so he is a just squirrel.

|10.5.09 @ 6:14PM|

And he gave me another chance to steal this thread, so he is also a merciful squirrel.

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 6:23PM|

That squirrel is a vicious mother.

|10.5.09 @ 6:27PM|

Blasphemer!

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 6:30PM|

So's yer mom!

|10.5.09 @ 6:34PM|

I joined the H&R peanut gallery after this thread. I'd heard about it often, seen the photo many times but this is the first time I've visited it.

It's kinda like a Hajj for reasonoids.

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 6:49PM|

um, so's yer mom?

|10.5.09 @ 7:05PM|

Touche.

Fin Fang Foom|10.5.09 @ 7:09PM|

You know he's considering a run for the presidency now.

Fin Fang Foom|10.5.09 @ 7:09PM|

You know he's considering a run for the presidency now.

Isaac Bartram|10.5.09 @ 11:25PM|

So good you had to post it twice, eh?

highnumber|10.5.09 @ 7:18PM|

Back at ya!

My heart just isn't in this anymore.

Let's all talk about how our lives have changed since this thread.

VM|10.5.09 @ 7:52PM|

just realize that you're not going to own the final post...

...
this time...

bohahahahahahwahahahahwahaahahahwahaha

D.A. Ridgely|10.5.09 @ 10:31PM|

Perhaps there should be some sort of Salty Ham Tears Reunion here every year complete with pulled pork sandwiches and HFCS sweetened beverages?

|10.5.09 @ 10:57PM|

Aw fuck. I really don't want to refight this war. It's like John McCain being invited back to Hanoi for an authentic Vietnam reenactment.

Say, next time some upstart accuses me of being too new to understand how things work around here, can we point them to this thread?

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 12:12AM|

No.

|10.6.09 @ 12:29AM|

I hate you too, highnumber.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 7:26AM|

There's no courage in hatred, only in love.

|10.6.09 @ 10:27AM|

Gay.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 11:09AM|

Taken!

|10.7.09 @ 12:27AM|

And yet, still oh-so-very gay.

|10.6.09 @ 1:54AM|

It's late. Go to bed.

I'll take care of the thread.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 6:37AM|

How's the thread been?

|10.6.09 @ 11:27AM|

The thread slept like a baby. Especially after I gave it all that whiskey.

FrBunny|10.6.09 @ 8:16AM|

Anonymity Bot was me. Your secret clubhouse is safe(ish).

VikingMoose|10.6.09 @ 8:21AM|

High# - I knocked to check on the thread, but all Jake said was this, so I figure all was well.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 9:49AM|

No UToob at work. Is it Little Richard? (Pencil Dick was what yer mom called him.)

|10.6.09 @ 10:13AM|

Let's all talk about how our lives have changed since this thread.

Well, since then, my politics have become racist--or so I am told--and I've been on Conan's show twice to promote Urkobold.

FrBunny|10.6.09 @ 10:18AM|

I was on Letterman.

GET IT?!?

VM|10.6.09 @ 10:47AM|

High#: Go Way. Batin'

and my "ignore poster" list has grown about 10fold with the arrival of the new administration.

thoreau|10.6.09 @ 11:07AM|

"Go way. I'm batin" will be the announcement that people hear when they knock on my office door on a furlough day.

|10.6.09 @ 11:30AM|

So my operating theory is that the upgrade reset all the dates on all the old threads. If that's the case, then the open threads should lock up again after a little while (was it two weeks?).

Either that, or it'll stay open forever (or until some staffer decides to do something about it).

|10.6.09 @ 11:33AM|

I vote forever.

thoreau,

I'd use "Deliberbatin'" or "Concenbatin'".

VM|10.6.09 @ 11:37AM|

Jake - so the question is when was this thread reset? that would help figure out when the horse race happens towards the end :)

and Doktor T: that was awesome. Note I used the same clip you did (forgot the h/t. apologies).

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 11:47AM|

Does anyone around these parts have a freeper login?

|10.6.09 @ 11:51AM|

Highnumber:

No, why? Are you considering inviting them back to the thread?

|10.6.09 @ 11:55AM|

Welcome back my friends,
To the thread that never ends.
We're so glad could attend,
Come inside, come inside.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 12:05PM|

No, never mind. Forget I asked.

FREEPER|10.6.09 @ 12:11PM|

THIS IS NOT NORML. HORSE MEAT HORSE MEAT. IT'S NOT TORTURE. IT'S WASHING AWAY THE ISLAM TO GET TO THE BAPTIST THAT'S WITHIN. CHEERLEADER ANTICS

WHO THROWS A SHOE?

PICKING ON CHIDREN (sic). IT'S FOR TEH CHIDREN!!!!!!!!!!11!!!oneone11eleven

|10.6.09 @ 1:33PM|

Looking upthread, I see that I referred to "Children of Santorum" à la Billy Thorpe, but I didn't post any lyrics. That curious omission shall now be rectified:

People of the Earth can you hear me?
Came a voice from the stage on that magical night.
And in the colors of a thousand sunsets,
They traveled through the crowd on a silvery light.

The people of the Earth stood waiting,
Watching as the cars came one by one.
Setting fire to the speech as they entered,
Carrying to the world, Children of Santorum.

All at once came a sound from the podium,
Then the dreams of the right hit the ground.
Everyone felt the sound of their heartbeats,
Every man - every woman - every child.

They passed the limits of campaigning,
Through the doors - to a world - of another time.
On the journey to millions at a lawfirm,
With the Children of Santorum - They started their climb.

No more campaigning, nothing holding them down.
Floating endlessly, as their Dad leaves the town.
Through the halls of slime - at the speed of light.
Cry with Sarah Maria on her political flight.
On her political flight.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 1:49PM|

I'd be so disappointed if that was the last post.

VikingMoose|10.6.09 @ 1:52PM|

Don't worry. It won't be.

However we can tell something to our freeper friends:

"I can tell you're looking for a way to live/ where truth is determined by consensus/ full of codified, arbitrary directives/ come join us".

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 1:58PM|

The rest of those lyrics:

We all are fine musicians/We practice every day/And if you'd like to join us/We'll show you the way
Come join us. Come join us./Come take a part and join us!

Minion of URKOBOLD|10.6.09 @ 2:00PM|

And for that, the taint of a random passer by shall be withered.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 2:02PM|

Ta-tada-ta-ta, ta-tada-ta-ta, ta-ta, ta-ta, ta-a-a
Waaah, Waaah, Waaah, Waaah
Oom-pa, oom-pa oom-pa oom-pa, oom-pa-oom
Waaah, Waaah, Waaah, Waaah
Deedle-ee dee dee, Deedle deedle dee-dee deedle-deedle dee
dee deedle deedle dee!

|10.6.09 @ 2:03PM|

Are you objecting to the ELP lyrics or the "Children of Santorum" lyrics? I rather like "Children of Santorum."

I'm not an ELP fan, incidentally.

VM|10.6.09 @ 2:09PM|

well, a lot of the objection is to Highnumber's objection. and to the next post.

|10.6.09 @ 2:11PM|

I meant which post would he be disappointed to see be the last?

|10.6.09 @ 2:12PM|

Will all of these atemporal posts be lost if they close this wormhole into past threads?

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 2:17PM|

I'b de bisappointed if theos p[paser awas ther alasr waspecialltr',

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 2:18PM|

i;m leasdfing tr touchjtyupe, this is east.

VikingMoose|10.6.09 @ 2:19PM|

That's a disappointment. It wasn't anywhere near close to authentic frontier gibberish.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 2:19PM|

and I think that I figutrf out a certain me,etary loiter's [robleem.

VikingMoose|10.6.09 @ 2:24PM|

Mental deficiency?

|10.6.09 @ 2:23PM|

I'b de bisappointed if theos p[paser awas ther alasr waspecialltr',

You'd be disappointed if God phasered away the last rascally rabbit?

VM|10.6.09 @ 2:24PM|

just taze him in the jumblies and be dun wit it.

|10.6.09 @ 2:28PM|

Why would God use a phaser?

VM|10.6.09 @ 2:31PM|

No. no. no. it's why god would need a spaceship.

mein gott.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 2:35PM|

I also gifuted how to type in Welsh.

VM|10.6.09 @ 2:38PM|

blame Kanada, too.

gefilte fisch.

greg|10.6.09 @ 2:54PM|

Gesundheit.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 2:54PM|

oops.

VM|10.6.09 @ 3:14PM|

as in Graffin?

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 3:21PM|

That would be a good ending right there.

lunchstealer|10.6.09 @ 3:43PM|

Damn, I thought I was directly involved in this thread. I guess I was mentally convolving this with the Grylliade meta-thread.

VM|10.6.09 @ 3:50PM|

*purloins 3.43 pm mid-day meal*

|10.6.09 @ 3:59PM|

Good ending? You assume this thread has a teleological nature?

lunchstealer|10.6.09 @ 5:00PM|

Maybe he meant happy ending.

Number 6|10.6.09 @ 4:00PM|

Let's just label this the greatest thread anywhere, ever, and be done with it.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 4:14PM|

Yes, let's do that. This thread may or may not have an end, but to wonder misses the grandeur that is this thread. To some this thread may look like a clusterf*ck. To others this thread may be proof of everything that they have been trying to tell you, dammit. Still, to other others this thread may be a big ball of gas that be on its way to escaping these pipes of the intertubes and forming its own solar system. Yet, to other other others, this thread may be the thread that proved incontrovertibly that I am The Man. And to other other other others, this thread is all but forgotten, a brief brush with idiocy. But to other other other other others, this thread may have reawoken to allow us to revisit that glorious moment when we all clearly hated social cons and wanted nothing to do with nutjob Republicans. I, for one, believe that this thread is all of those things, but not all at once, or even some of them ever, at all, not even a bit, but wholeheartedly, like a puppy tied to the bumper of a station wagon in the desert when the flodding rain comes, and like that puppy starting to float in the raging currents as the fully laden station wagon tries to pull away, it knows that this too must pass.

VikingMoose|10.6.09 @ 4:38PM|

raises hand. I'll have what he's drinking.

Make it a double.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 4:56PM|

Bartender! Two Shirley Temples with balls, mannish style. Yes, of course with a No-Doz dusted rim, thankyouverymuch.

|10.6.09 @ 5:09PM|

Hey, man, you don't talk to highnumber. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll. . .uh. . .well, you'll say "hello" to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you. He won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say, "do you know that 'if' is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you." I mean I'm no, I can't. . . . I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's. . .he's a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas. . . .

VM|10.6.09 @ 5:23PM|

wait a sec. woah.woah.woah.

the apocalypse is "back then", not "now"....

|10.6.09 @ 5:26PM|

One through nine, no maybes, no supposes, no fractions. You can't travel in space, you can't go out into space, you know, without, like, you know, uh, with fractions. . .what are you going to land on. . .one-quarter, three-eighths? What are you going to do when you go from here to Venus or something? That's dialectic physics.

VM|10.6.09 @ 5:45PM|

You know something, man, I know something that you don't know. That's right, jack. The man is clear in his mind, but his soul is mad. Oh yeah. He's dying, I think. He hates all this, he hates it! But ... the man's ... uh ... he reads poetry out loud, alright? ... And a voice! A voice. ... He likes you because you're still alive. He's got plans for you. Nah, nah, I'm not going to help you, you're going to help him, man. You're going to help him. I mean, what are they going to say, man, when he's gone, huh? Because he dies, when it dies, man, when it dies, he dies. What are they going to say about him? What, are they going to say, he was a kind man, he was a wise man, he had plans, he had wisdom? Bullsh-t, man! Am I going to be the one, that's going to set them straight? Look at me: wrong! ... You!

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 5:46PM|

Are the different colors of Smarties really different flavors, or is my mind playing tricks on me?

JasonL|10.6.09 @ 5:50PM|

Smarties are all the same. Ass flavor. What is the flavor of a circus peanut?

|10.6.09 @ 5:52PM|

Why did you take the "i" out of bullshit, VM? Why would you disrespect the man's work when he's laid up in the hospital? Why?

highnumber,

I thought they were all sugar-flavored.

lunchstealer|10.6.09 @ 5:53PM|

They are. There's one that sucks. I thought it was the white ones, but it wasn't. It was the yellow ones. The yellow ones are banana, man. Who does that? Who makes things look like they should be lemon flavored but makes them taste like bananas? That's just wrong. It's bait and switch! Its un-fucking-American! Like when they replaced lime lifesavers with that sour apple crap. Timothy knows.

VM|10.6.09 @ 5:54PM|

Sometimes the "I" has to be removed from the bullshit.

Circus peanuts taste like purple

And different color smarties taste the same, but their vaso-dilation properties vary by color

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 5:55PM|

Sweet! My mind IS playing tricks on me. I love you, mind. You do your darndest to keep things interesting. Keep up the good work!

Circus peanuts are almond flavored. You can look it up.

JasonL|10.6.09 @ 5:56PM|

Give me a break. Lime is the worst flavor of everything - life savers, jello, jolly ranchers ... everything. They always sneak lime in there to take up space, apparently because good flavors are a scarce commodity.

VM|10.6.09 @ 5:57PM|

that is 100% wrong, Lunch. mein gott. Banana flavor is now black beans and rice flavored. "Sour apple" is this season's merkin of choice.

|10.6.09 @ 6:12PM|

When you have a bag of sweets--let's say jelly beans--and you go for the green one, aren't most people hoping for mint? Come on, be mint, come on, be mint. And sometimes, it is!

Ellie|10.6.09 @ 6:14PM|

Let's all talk about how our lives have changed since this thread.

I touched a boob!

(It wasn't mine.)

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 6:16PM|

I am not going to get between the lime and sour apple crowd.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 6:16PM|

The mint jelly bean crowd, on the other hand, can go to hell.

|10.6.09 @ 6:24PM|

What? How can you hate mint? Sour apple is also good, but lime? Lime is an abomination in candy.

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 6:38PM|

Mint is great in the right application. Leave it out of my jelly beans.

|10.6.09 @ 6:39PM|

What? How can you hate mint? Sour apple is also good, but lime? Lime is an abomination in candy.

BLASPHEMER!

highnumber|10.6.09 @ 6:39PM|

WAIT A MINUTE!

Ellie, did you have some more to tell us?

D.A. Ridgely|10.6.09 @ 11:07PM|

For example, only one boob?

Are you being metaphorical or is there a Betty Ford joke ("Once you've seen one, you've seen them all.") lurking on the horizon?

Urkobold™|10.6.09 @ 6:44PM|

THAT IS WHY YOU FAIL, HIGHMINION.

ELLIE, BY TOUCH, DO YOU MEAN FONDLE? WERE HER NIPPLES LIME-FLAVOURED?

Urkobold™|10.6.09 @ 6:51PM|

IGNORE THE CRASS COMMENTS OF THAT OBVIOUS IMPOSTOR! ONE WHO CANNOT EVEN PROPERLY TRADEMARK HIS NAME! THE URKOBOLD MOCKS THIS PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT SUBTERFUGE.

SO, ELLIE, WERE HER NIPPLES MINT-FLAVORED?

D.A. Ridgely|10.6.09 @ 11:08PM|

As long as they weren't salty ham flavored...

Ellie|10.7.09 @ 12:21AM|

Two boobs. It was nighttime. We were outdoors on the porch. She had long brown hair. She's a libertarian. There was fondling. And kissing. Her mouth tasted like red wine and cigarettes. I don't know what her nipples tasted like; we didn't get that far.

Best Dragon*Con ever.

MINION OF URKOBOLD|10.7.09 @ 11:31AM|

ELLIE MINION MUST COME BACK WITH A FULL FLAVOR REPORT, COMPLETE WITH HAPPINESS.

HIER IS A KITTEN:
kitteh

|10.7.09 @ 12:34PM|

Lime is delicious.

highnumber|10.7.09 @ 12:54PM|

Clearly, I lost the thread. It was indisputably mine for almost three years, but now it belongs to Ellie.

Für Ellie

|10.7.09 @ 5:15PM|

Not going to be that easy, highnumber.

|10.7.09 @ 6:16PM|

You people still haven't repented?
Damn you're still just like Daily Kos.

highnumber|10.7.09 @ 6:55PM|

You can't win, Shem.

|10.7.09 @ 7:04PM|

You know, since the Anarchrist thread is still unreachable, it's possible (though perhaps unlikely) that this one could, conceivably, surpass it in length, taking the title of Longest H&R Thread Ever. Maybe then the spirit of the Salty Ham Tears Girl would find peace at last.

highnumber|10.7.09 @ 7:11PM|

You can't win either, Jake.

|10.7.09 @ 7:29PM|

Oh, I know. That's why I'm not trying any more. My only hope was stealth, and now that's gone.

(Curse you, Pro Libertate!)

|10.7.09 @ 8:08PM|

highnumber - I was just going throuth the thread and I have to ask, how's your son. At three plus, he should be a blast to hang out with.

highnumber|10.7.09 @ 9:42PM|

Thanks for asking. He's a riot. Smallface (I have assigned him an internet handle) is great, great fun to hang out with, though a real bear to wake up in the morning. I still find most of his tears sort of cute and amusing.

I just reread almost the whole thread, and I gotta say, kids are sensitive, but that is no reason that adults need to act like every time a kid cries we can't find something humorous in it. When smallface has been crying over something silly, I often smile at him and point out that it's silly. It may take him a few minutes to come around, but he gets over it and seems to be able to laugh at himself.

|10.8.09 @ 1:42AM|

One of my own parenting tricks has been to say, "Don't laugh! You'll ruin the cry!" Converts the waterworks into giggling almost every time.

highnumber|10.8.09 @ 7:29AM|

Nice move!

VikingMoose|10.8.09 @ 9:47AM|

Smallface is a really cute kid. And has athletic talent!

|10.8.09 @ 1:26PM|

I still feel sorry for the Children of Santorum (Children of Santor-um-um-um)--he had no business dragging them on stage if they were going to be that upset.

Jake,

Sorry, but I can't betray highnumber in this thread. Well, not again, anyway.

Minion of URKOBOLD|10.8.09 @ 1:45PM|

THAT IS CORRECT PROMINION. YOUR PLOT TO BETRAY THE URKOBOLD HAS BEEN BETRAYED BY MR. STEVEN CRANE.

|10.8.09 @ 1:48PM|

Betray the Urkobold? No. Betray other minions? Well, only when under orders.

VM|10.8.09 @ 4:45PM|

Exactly what I would expect the equivalent-of-Judas to say!

|10.8.09 @ 4:49PM|

Judas? Me? I'm the least Judasest of us all! Heck, I'm the one that told highnumber that his thread was being threatened by Evil Jake!

In fact, how are you even here?

|10.8.09 @ 4:57PM|

Oh, I know. That's why I'm not trying any more. My only hope was stealth, and now that's gone.

(Curse you, Pro Libertate!)

Hey! I'm pretty sure I ruined your day. ProLib then sounded the alarm.

|10.8.09 @ 5:03PM|

Validate me!

|10.8.09 @ 5:04PM|

You ignorant slut.

|10.8.09 @ 5:05PM|

FrBunny revealed Jake's insidious plans to the Hit & Run world--I can confirm that. I just told highnumber, who has a personal interest in "owning" this thread.

|10.8.09 @ 6:20PM|

Then you're both to blame!

Curse you, FrBunny and Pro Libertate!

|10.8.09 @ 6:24PM|

Joint and several evilability.

highnumber|10.8.09 @ 7:08PM|

What's with all the cursing? There are children pictured on this thread, ferpetesake!

|10.8.09 @ 7:09PM|

Don't worry. Warty is sexting them as we speak.

|10.8.09 @ 8:31PM|

They weren't unresponsive.

highnumber|10.8.09 @ 10:56PM|

I had better check on the kids right now.

VikingMoose|10.9.09 @ 10:04AM|

All the while, this moose is secretly plotting a secret plan.

highnumber|10.9.09 @ 11:16AM|

Shoot! No you haven't. You've been openly potting plants from your secret garden.

By the way, the building super said to tell you that the subbasement doesn't get enough light for your Hibiscus and that could be the problem. He says the Shaggy Manes look real nice, but he wants to have a word with you about the growing medium.

VM|10.9.09 @ 2:25PM|

pssst. guys - highnumber has gotten into the whippets again...

|10.9.09 @ 3:19PM|

What's the record again? This is comment 811.

|10.9.09 @ 4:08PM|

Somewhere north of 2000, on the Anarchrist thread.

highnumber|10.9.09 @ 3:19PM|

Arrroooooo?

VM|10.9.09 @ 3:31PM|

arwooo?

highnumber|10.9.09 @ 5:41PM|

No.

VikingMoose|10.9.09 @ 5:51PM|

THUNDERCHICKEN would whip this thread back into shape.

hier is a pic of a diabetic foot ulcer.

highnumber|10.9.09 @ 6:19PM|

Whoa.

You're busting out the big guns.

take a look at an emaciated Buddah.

VikingMoose|10.10.09 @ 1:04PM|

THUNDERCHICKEN is definitely one of the biggies.

Urkobold™|10.11.09 @ 12:46AM|

[Sniffs the air]

[Mutters to self]: THAT SCENT...NO, NOT CRANE...BARBECUED PUFFIN? NO. I KNOW IT...AW, NUTS!

[Lumbers away]

Urkobold™|10.11.09 @ 12:47AM|

FIX THAT ALREADY.

FIX IT!

|10.11.09 @ 1:57AM|

How am I to tell which is the true URKOBOLD and which is the impostor, when both mess up the trademark?

Truly, the ways of the prime troll are mysterious and dark.

highnumber|10.11.09 @ 2:19AM|

More like pitiful and ignorant.

VikingMoose|10.11.09 @ 9:39AM|

Jake - you go up to the ur- and übertroll and yell BOOM at the top of your lungs.

If you emerge without a withered taint, it's the impostor.

Urkobold™|10.12.09 @ 9:59AM|

THE URKOBOLD DOES NOT ERR EXCEPT IN ONE THING: HIRING THE OCCASIONAL INCOMPETENT YOKEL TO TYPE THE URKOBOLD'S DICTATION.

VIKING MINION! HUNT DOWN AND DESTROY THE FALSE URKOBOLD OF POOR HTML ABILITY, HIRE THE URKOBOLD A NEW SECRETARY WITH LARGE BOSOMS UPON WHICH THE URKOBOLD CAN BLOW HIS NOSE, AND GET THE URKOBOLD AN IRISH COFFEE MADE WITH BEER LIQUEUR.

VM|10.12.09 @ 10:27AM|

bouncy bouncy.

highnumber|10.12.09 @ 2:41PM|

Maybe we could call that a German coffee?

What is "beer liqueur"? Is that like the Sam Adams Triple Bock?

Urkobold™|10.12.09 @ 2:56PM|

WHATEVER IT IS, THE VIKING MINION BETTER FIND IT.

"GERMAN COFFEE" IS AN IMPROVEMENT, BUT THE URKOBOLD THINKS THAT "NAZI COFFEE" IS MORE APPROPRIATE TO HIS MOOD.

highnumber|10.12.09 @ 3:13PM|

Your server is ready for your order:

hier

Urkobold™|10.12.09 @ 3:36PM|

YES, THE URKOBOLD IS PLEASED! HE PROMOTES HIGHMINION TO WHATEVER IS GREATER THAN VIKING MINION, WHOM HE DEMOTES TO SOME LESSER STATUS.

THE URKOBOLD WILL GO BLOW HIS NOSE IN NAZI BOSOMS RIGHT NOW, AS THE URKOBOLD HAS A REALLY ANNOYING COLD.

highnumber|10.12.09 @ 4:22PM|

Suck it, VM!

VM|10.12.09 @ 6:38PM|

NAZI BOOZOOMS. CUZ YOU CAN'T MOTORBOAT A PERSONALITY.

highnumber|10.13.09 @ 10:23AM|

I doubt that you have tried.

VM|10.13.09 @ 12:43PM|

You'd be surprised what you try when you're away at sea!

highnumber|10.13.09 @ 5:34PM|

Ooo-eee, ooo-eee baby!

|10.14.09 @ 11:02AM|

William Riker is the greatest Captain in all of sci-fi, and makes Bill Adama look like an away-team lieutenant.

VM|10.14.09 @ 11:41AM|

Old School BG for the win!!

highnumber|10.14.09 @ 12:25PM|

This is the kind of stuff that confuses me.

Everyone knows the greatest captain.

|10.14.09 @ 3:15PM|

Why did VM post a picture from Bonanza: TNG?

|10.14.09 @ 3:16PM|

"This time there's a black guy!"

VM|10.14.09 @ 3:21PM|

Hoss: The Revenge

|10.15.09 @ 11:37AM|

This thread might never die.

VikingMoose|10.15.09 @ 12:35PM|

that's what you'd like the rest of us to think, Jake. that's what you'd like...

lunchstealer|10.15.09 @ 1:31PM|

It's gonna keep lumbering on like some sort Mick Jagger retirement tour, only with fewer narcotics.

VM|10.15.09 @ 4:44PM|

and a better complexion...

lunchstealer|10.15.09 @ 6:03PM|

And, of course, more salty ham tears.

VM|10.16.09 @ 1:11PM|

omg! omg! omg!

we made the neighbor's kid cry and used the salty ham tears as the base for a marinade. delicious!!

|10.16.09 @ 3:01PM|

I applied for the Gray Internship. When I get it, my first task will be to close this thread again. Only one of you will get the heads-up...

highnumber|10.17.09 @ 11:10AM|

Will it be me?

|10.17.09 @ 11:46AM|

Not a chance, highnmber.

It will be someone who is witty, sophiscated, hung like a Missouri mule, i.e. moi.

|10.17.09 @ 11:58AM|

TV's greatest Captain.

highnumber|10.17.09 @ 12:11PM|

Hung like this Missouri mule?
My condolences to your special lady friend.

highnumber|10.17.09 @ 12:12PM|

Try link again.

VM|10.17.09 @ 1:14PM|

sher sher.

lunchstealer|10.19.09 @ 11:48AM|

Or potent as a Missouri mule?

|10.19.09 @ 12:30PM|

The greatest television captain? You're all wrong. It's Kangaroo. He saved my ass twice in 'Nam.

|10.19.09 @ 3:39PM|

It will be someone who is witty, sophiscated, hung like a Missouri mule...

"You wouldn't know a classy broad if she took a dump on your head."

Also, my captain can beat up your captain.

VM|10.19.09 @ 6:39PM|

just realize that an impostor calling himself "Morgan" has been trying to seize the mantle of Captain.

This "Morgan" possesses neither the captainness or captaindom to be able to make such a claim!

VM|10.20.09 @ 1:21PM|

You know, Moose, that's really interesting.

Let's see how long we can chat with ourselves before ere others interrupt join in

VM|10.20.09 @ 1:39PM|

Indeed. I'll check back with you later today. In the meantime, I'll bask in your brilliance.

VM|10.21.09 @ 8:24AM|

Well, top of the morning to you, Moose.

I heard that they had a DJ at the gym last night, and he was spinning the loudest of Euro Techno and Dance hits.

At least the guide length is adequate, and you don't have to worry about going over time...

VM|10.21.09 @ 9:23AM|

Indeed. that was annoying. and about the guides. Heh!

|10.21.09 @ 12:15PM|

Hi Moose.

Pass that doobie this way.

|10.21.09 @ 12:52PM|

Is this a safe place to vent about how sick I am of John Tagliaferro (and the rest of the "Suki" mob)?

Screw big tents.

Urkobold™|10.21.09 @ 2:07PM|

WHAT ARE YOU, GAY? THE URKOBOLD LOVES BIG TENTS!

VM|10.21.09 @ 1:10PM|

Jsub - sorry - am a non user... will be glad to share the wild turkey 101 with you, however!

Fr Bunny - this is a safe place. What's his deal and what's the Suki mob?

(Hay Moose: I think the guides are trimmed down. the stimuli are up and ready to go. we have the euro translations. things are coming together)

VM|10.21.09 @ 1:34PM|

that's great news, Moose.

What about that thought you had a few minutes ago? That was hilarious! What do you think?

Urkobold™|10.21.09 @ 2:09PM|

VIKING MINION! WHY ARE YOU WASTING TIME IN THIS LOST BLOG THREAD TALKING TO YOURSELF? DIDN'T THE URKOBOLD INSTRUCT YOU TO STEAL HIGHMINION'S NEW BIKES?

YOUR TAINT IS ONCE AGAIN IN THE DIREST JEOPARDY.

VM|10.21.09 @ 2:09PM|

that was a good one. good call, Moose. But wtf were you thinking something like that at WORK? Mein gott, man. be professional hier.

still on for the ff this evening?

Urkobold™|10.21.09 @ 2:09PM|

VIKING MINION! WHY ARE YOU WASTING TIME IN THIS LOST BLOG THREAD TALKING TO YOURSELF? DIDN'T THE URKOBOLD INSTRUCT YOU TO STEAL HIGHMINION'S NEW BIKES?

YOUR TAINT IS ONCE AGAIN IN THE DIREST JEOPARDY.

lunchstealer|10.21.09 @ 2:35PM|

FrBunny,

Everywhere is a good place to complain about stupidity, but you may feel at home at Grylliade.org, a website built and populated by various Hit & Run refugees. Of particular interest may be the "Hit & Run Idiocy" thread. No longer must you are suffer alone.

|10.21.09 @ 3:13PM|

I am heartened immeasurably to know this place exists. Thanks!

|10.21.09 @ 3:11PM|

What's his deal and what's the Suki mob?

He is constantly posting garbage like this. Emphasis on constantly. The guy is a positively joelific poster.

Best I can figure, Sukiproject or Sukisite or something is a blog based on John T's crap softcore porn fiction. His clan has overrun H&R recently.

lunchstealer's link sums it up very well, so I'll move my bitching there.

VM|10.21.09 @ 3:32PM|

oh hay hai gai. Moose - am hoping. depending on if/how long the debrief goes. that's why the morning (truncated) routine was so important today.

FrB: and the sites founders and maintainers Ellie and David are FANTASTIC PEOPLE. there's only one really scheisskerl member (srsly. a total jagbag twaddlenock quixelnof (that's incredibly obscene, btw)), but everybody else is okay, and they like disagreement, they mix it up, and have a great time.

and thanks for the info about JT et al.

moose - catch up with you in a bit.

lunchstealer|10.21.09 @ 3:53PM|

there's only one really scheisskerl member

Dude! Why you gotta be talkin bout me like that? Also, I'm more of a mittagessendieb than a scheisskerl.

lunchstealer|10.21.09 @ 3:50PM|

No longer must you are suffer alone.

And no longer must I am make grammatical errors.

VM|10.21.09 @ 4:31PM|

ha! :)

i was actually serious about the one poster. He's filtered big time. I hope he eats his face and sets the stump on fire.

if i were still there, i'd be banned, probably, for how i'd berate him...
(Mr. Steven Crane could tell you who. He shares this opinion about the scheisskerl part)

lunchstealer|10.21.09 @ 5:39PM|

Have you been by there recently? I know at least one sanctimonious prat has left our shores, under the ban hammer of the great and terrible Ellie (PBUH).

|10.21.09 @ 5:40PM|

Jsub - sorry - am a non user... will be glad to share the wild turkey 101 with you, however!


Bourbon (hell any good whiskey) is always acceptable. Old Grandad makes a 114 that even manly men only dare sip at.

highnumber|10.21.09 @ 6:44PM|

I tried that Old Grandad 114 once. It was much better than I would have thought. It was very drinkable. That particular bottle had sat under the bar sealed for a couple of years, tho. Don't know if that might woulda mellowed the old guy.

VM|10.21.09 @ 6:56PM|

J sub - sounds good and grizzled. Bookers is another fave.

High# - you ARE grizzled!

lunch - not gunnels, but his newest iteration at UO with his bullshit about what he parrots from economic opinion sites (sans analysis) is just as silly as the pontificating on how much Jean Bart loved the EU... :)

mmm grizzled.

hay moose - things went well. approaching time to knock off for the day.

highnumber|10.21.09 @ 7:01PM|

Yer an old guy that needs to get mellowed!

Bookers is good. Real good.

VM|10.22.09 @ 8:06AM|

GRIZZLED!!!!!!!!

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 8:42AM|

Well, at least you stopped kissing yer own ass. Yoga really paid off for you, eh?

VM|10.22.09 @ 10:14AM|

gone from that to gentle tongue tainting.

|10.22.09 @ 1:25PM|

Makers Mark is nice.

VM|10.22.09 @ 1:42PM|

tis. Evan Williams is also worth a gulp.

lunchstealer|10.22.09 @ 2:37PM|

Buffalo Trace.

|10.22.09 @ 3:29PM|

Basil Hayden, or, until payday, Four Roses Yellow Label.

highnumber|10.22.09 @ 4:24PM|

No, not Basil Hayden. As I recall, it's too sweet.

VM|10.22.09 @ 4:30PM|

see, Fr. Bunny, Highnumber cannot stand not being the sweetest thang in the room.

how about this:
Q: Favorite bourbon
A: whatever I'm savoring at that moment

highnumber|10.26.09 @ 1:37PM|

Actually, I'm quite bitter.

|10.22.09 @ 5:11PM|

Any Glen will do.

highnumber|10.26.09 @ 1:36PM|

That's what she said!

VM|10.22.09 @ 5:52PM|

WARNING for what highnumber is doing upstream!!! (hint: it's awesome)

highnumber|10.25.09 @ 4:02PM|

It may look awesome from the outside, but from where I stand, it's a thankless task.

Mo|10.22.09 @ 10:52PM|

This thread warms the cockles of my heart.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:19PM|

Hmmm.

I am not attempting a google image search.

VM|10.23.09 @ 9:47AM|

and we all know that a Mo with warm cockles is a Happy Mo.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:17PM|

Happy Mo to you too!

lunchstealer|10.23.09 @ 11:56AM|

May I assume that I'm not alone in thinking that Jack Daniel's No 7 is frikkin sugary?

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:15PM|

The world's a big place.

VM|10.23.09 @ 12:07PM|

couldn't tell you - not a drinker of Tennessee sippin whiskey...

Is it as sweet as Wild Turkey Rare Breed (decent, but on the sweet side)?

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:14PM|

Is a chicken a rare breed of wild turkey?

lunchstealer|10.23.09 @ 2:03PM|

I honestly haven't gone too far afield in my bourbon explorations. I tend to try things when offered, and then settle on a favorite for a while. I'd say that Jack Daniel's (No 7 is the standard wide-distribution variety) is to corn likker what Crown Royal is to non American new-world whiskey. Unoffensive, but too sweet, and rather badly over-rated.

See also - Jackasses that order "Jack and Coke" or "Crown and Coke". Translation "I like people to think I'm a whiskey drinker - a GOOD whiskey drinker - but I hate anything that doesn't taste like Coke."

Although actually cheap scotch blends well with Coke, and actually adds an interesting flavor. But otherwise, Srsly, just order a rum-and-coke or a chocolate martini and get it over with.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:13PM|

Poor man's chocolate martini:
Yoo Hoo and Svedka

VM|10.23.09 @ 2:39PM|

"chocolate martini". giggle.

or drinks served in martini glasses that don't have vodka or gin or vermouth, yet people still call 'em "martinis".

what about 7 and 7 or "gin and ginger"
[ducks]

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:10PM|

There's nothing wrong with a good cocktail. You didn't name any, but I'm saying that if you did...

lunchstealer|10.27.09 @ 1:18PM|

With the right ginger-ale gin-and-ginger (or bourbon and ginger) can be pretty interesting. I suggest Good Old Bleinheim's Ginger Ale, although the mild (gold caps, not red caps) so you still get some of the juniper and herbal elements from the gin.

Canada Dry is useless.

lunchstealer|10.27.09 @ 1:25PM|

Oh, and like a 3-1 or 4-1 gin-to-ginger ratio.

|10.23.09 @ 2:44PM|

See also - Jackasses that order "Jack and Coke" or "Crown and Coke". Translation "I like people to think I'm a whiskey drinker - a GOOD whiskey drinker - but I hate anything that doesn't taste like Coke."

Give me 5 cents worth of HFCS, artificial coloring and flavoring and carbonated water. Oh yeah, pour in $3 worth of whiskey.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:09PM|

Some folks don't drink to impress.

I understand, tho, that if you live in Detroit, you have nothing else.

lunchstealer|10.27.09 @ 1:21PM|

I think the point is that if you're putting it in Coke, you really aren't going to taste the difference between Crown Royal and McCormicks Bourbon-Flavored Distilled Alcohol Beverage Product, so why pay call or premium prices when well will get the job done. Because the job is just to get drunk without tasting anything but Coke.

|10.23.09 @ 3:49PM|

Looks like you spluged one too many references to this thread out on the tubz.

I'm in.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:06PM|

Yes, yes, we're all in now.

|10.23.09 @ 4:55PM|

highnumber,

Nice. There's a little of this going on in several threads of the current blog, in case you haven't noticed yet. It's easier to do what you're doing if others aren't trying to do the same thing, but my goal wasn't to create. . .but to destroy.

After I started making obnoxious preemptive comments, I started to wonder if that wasn't your secret plan. Should've consulted with you sooner.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:04PM|

On second thought, replying to all the comments going up the thread sounds fun too!

|10.23.09 @ 11:50PM|

highnumber,

Do you mark territory like a dog?

highnumber|10.25.09 @ 10:49AM|

More like a wolf.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:02PM|

I am not trying to destroy or create. I am just pissing all over something to let it be known that it is mine.

highnumber|10.23.09 @ 7:03PM|

I should have made that comment as a reply, in order to save myself a bit of work further down the line.

|10.23.09 @ 11:54PM|

I see this as the nuclear weapon of commenting. Some--like highnumber--only use it in a safe, buried testing ground. Like this thread. Other, more revolutionary types, just hand out bombs left and right to random commenters to use in the latest threads.

I'm just doing my part to help out good ol' entropy.

highnumber|10.26.09 @ 1:33PM|

I haven't decided if I have to reply to every reply.

|10.23.09 @ 11:09PM|

You've created a new art form.
Huzzah

highnumber|10.25.09 @ 3:59PM|

Sisyphean, it is.

|10.26.09 @ 1:34PM|

You know, it somehow seems wrong to do this to a classic thread. Like colorizing movies wrong.

highnumber|10.26.09 @ 1:58PM|

I did not start this, but I will be the one to finish it (again).

|10.26.09 @ 1:38PM|

Just recovered from a bout of the bacon plague, and I return to discover the thread still open. I hereby declare it immortal... at least until spambots discover all the old threads again.

Also, I didn't realize I had driven VM away from Grylliade, but I am not going to eat my own face and set the stump on fire no matter how much he berates me!

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:10PM|

Masochism

VM|10.26.09 @ 4:43PM|

A neck stump as supple as yours is not for the fire. it is to be gently made love to.

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:11PM|

Stumpophilia

VM|10.27.09 @ 12:16PM|

that's right, Moose. You certainly, um, "nailed" that.

Most interesting.

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:12PM|

Onanism.

|10.27.09 @ 5:32PM|

This thread seems to bring out the strangest psychoses in people.

highnumber|10.29.09 @ 1:13PM|

The wierd thing is that I had not read this comment when I started to diagnose the above three comments.

VM|10.27.09 @ 5:55PM|

psst. Quiet Moose. ProGlib, known Snitch to URKOBOLD, feared and beloved über- and ur-Trolls of the internets is around...

|10.27.09 @ 6:00PM|

Snitch? No. Zealous advocate? Perhaps.

Hang in there, Moose, help is on the way!

Could this be where evil physicist thoreau is hiding Mr. Steven Crane? Maybe highnumber will find him in between one of these thousands of posts.

VM|10.28.09 @ 2:57PM|

looks up from pleasuring the neck stump

oh hay hai ProGLib. Help definitely is coming soon.

|10.28.09 @ 3:03PM|

Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

VM|10.29.09 @ 1:14PM|

Hay Moose.

do you remember that time with the thing that guy said when that happened?

VM|10.29.09 @ 1:42PM|

OMG!OMG!OMG!!!!

that's awesome. fantastic.

d00d! I'm heading to the supply closet on four to bate for a bit.

VM|10.30.09 @ 11:41AM|

morning, Moose.

Crane called during work yesterday. Good to hear from him! The Halloween mask also looks good. well played, Sir!

lunchstealer|10.30.09 @ 3:52PM|

Ah, did you wear your functional alcoholic costume again?

|11.2.09 @ 12:32PM|

Did highnumber give up on his colorization of this thread?

highnumber|11.2.09 @ 12:39PM|

occasionally, life beckons.

|11.3.09 @ 3:38PM|

I would hope that this "life" business would not interfere with your blog commenting and, for that matter, posting, duties.

VM|11.2.09 @ 1:10PM|

Highnumber went as "the guy about whom the neighbors said, 'you never would have known'".

I went as "Pinky", the first offstage guard in scene 24 in 'The Big Red One' starring Lee Marvin and Mark Hamill

VM|11.2.09 @ 5:10PM|

Brilliant, Moose. Most impressive.

now, you're not going to wuss out at the gym tonight, are you?

just think of the build up of adipose tissue... or the adipose tissue that was just eliminated!

VM|11.3.09 @ 9:47AM|

Good job, Moose. But you skimped on the overhead lunges. That plate has your name on it today...

am curious about what's gonna happen with that thing today.

VM|11.3.09 @ 10:51AM|

Now we'll see if there was a...errrrr... "realignment" that'll take place in January.

Which would not only suck, it would reveal all (which ultimately wouldn't suck, cept for a short period of time while it's sucking. But then it would be better and not suck. Because then the period of suck would be over.)

But hier's to hoping that it's not the case!

VM|11.3.09 @ 1:45PM|

potential for suqitood is still high, but there are signs that it might not be too bad. Some suck, but within normal threshhold

|11.3.09 @ 4:01PM|

A guy in my office just said that he doesn't believe dinosaurs existed. Ever.

He refused to elaborate, but admitted that it was a "religious belief".

This guy is qualified to do the job that I also do. Now I'm sad.

|11.4.09 @ 11:40AM|

You need to develop a religious belief that that guy never existed.

Then go all evangelical about it. See how many of your coworkers you can convert.

VM|11.4.09 @ 12:35PM|

fantastic advice, Jake! Awesome!

Fr Bunny - yikes!

Wednesday Contest: how many Randians could we fit into a phone booth?

(that is phone book qua phone book)

VM|11.4.09 @ 3:00PM|

MS 2010 sucks.

nuff said.

VM|11.5.09 @ 2:04PM|

Yah. it does.

but the 9am CARD was good. letsee if the 1:30 is as good.

sehr guat.

|11.5.09 @ 5:46PM|

Say, does this not-quite-abandoned thread get indexed by Google?

|11.5.09 @ 8:24PM|

If it doesn't then it really doesn't exist. This could all be a shared delusion.

|11.5.09 @ 8:26PM|

Oh yeah -
SCREW THREADED COMMENTS!

They should be forever banned from the yummy tears thread,

VM|11.6.09 @ 9:52AM|

yeah

|11.6.09 @ 12:44PM|

I agree. That's why I don't use them.

VM|11.6.09 @ 5:59PM|

Perhaps both of you should be a little more open minded re: threading?

|11.6.09 @ 4:13PM|

J sub D,

You'd better not start reading from the top of this thread. highnumber is colorizing this work of art via threaded commenting technology.

VM|11.6.09 @ 5:58PM|

moose -- you still there?

got a question fer yah.

VM|11.7.09 @ 12:24PM|

yah - vot's up?

|11.7.09 @ 7:23PM|

J sub D,

You'd better not start reading from the top of this thread. highnumber is colorizing this work of art via threaded commenting technology.

Yikes! Shades of 1984. highnumber is an evil, arrogant and historey altering quadrisexual asshole.

NTTAWWT.

VM|11.8.09 @ 9:04AM|

however, not that you're under the spell of the Salty Ham Tears thread, you can never escape!!!

lunchstealer|11.10.09 @ 2:25PM|

Escape? Why would anyone choose to leave? We attend to all your needs.

|11.11.09 @ 2:45PM|

J sub D,

highnumber asked himself, WWTTD? ("What Would Ted Turner Do?")

lunchstealer|11.13.09 @ 1:26PM|

You mean aside from Jane Fonda?

|11.16.09 @ 2:09PM|

Yes, aside from that.

|11.17.09 @ 1:54PM|

Crapola! Time to relocate to the undisclosed locxation.

|11.17.09 @ 3:04PM|

I loved it so much... that I have to destroy it.

|11.17.09 @ 1:57PM|

Nothing to see here! Move along!

Hugh Akston|11.17.09 @ 2:00PM|

I refuse to post a comment on this thread.

Kolohe|11.17.09 @ 2:18PM|

It's more of Rifftrax than a colorization though, no?

|11.17.09 @ 3:55PM|

Ever wonder whether we're actually posting back in 2006? I think I remember reading this comment back then.

May be some sort of blogging wormhole. A bloghole, if you will.

Hugh Akston|11.17.09 @ 4:14PM|

Everything goes down the bloghole eventually ProLib.

VM|11.17.09 @ 4:48PM|

and then gets inserted gently into the neck stump...

VM|11.17.09 @ 4:50PM|

that was probably unnecessary, there , VM.

VM|11.19.09 @ 6:05PM|

still, beats being on the road, fer sher.

hope the brit endocrinologist is fun...

|11.20.09 @ 2:39PM|

Where VM walks, I cannot follow.

lunchstealer|11.20.09 @ 4:20PM|

That's because VM has passed beyond the event horizon of the bloghole.

VM|11.23.09 @ 5:26PM|

that's okay, Moose. You can go it alone.

and remember, "it's there and it's happening to me along the way"

highnumber|11.27.09 @ 5:55PM|

Look! See the footprints in the sand? The Santorum family was walking beside you the whole time.

VM|11.25.09 @ 11:42AM|

I am hereby taking over this space, in a move that is redolent of Highnumber's private blog on a post, all those years ago.

However, I shall call this "My Bland". full of the most bland, uninteresting life's details.

highnumber|11.27.09 @ 5:53PM|

make sure you tell us what kind of hair day yer having.

VM|11.30.09 @ 5:21PM|

excellent suggestion (see below)

|11.27.09 @ 11:14AM|

Book, movie deal to follow.

highnumber|11.27.09 @ 5:53PM|

Meryl Streep is already cast to play the Moose.

|11.30.09 @ 5:15PM|

"I just don't know if Streep was the right choice."
"Meryl Streep could be cast as Batman and be the right choice."

Kolohe|11.29.09 @ 1:12PM|

Zero Mostel unfortunately unavailable to play highnumber

Sandra Oh, however, is.

VM|11.30.09 @ 5:20PM|

hard to control static in hair today. May need extra product.

|11.30.09 @ 5:54PM|

The part of Pro Libertate to be played by Kurt Russell or Rowdy Roddy Piper, whichever is available.

VM|12.1.09 @ 11:59AM|

*thinking about different types of flowering, yet poisonous, plants*

hmmmmmm

Dear Bland:
I saw something really deep and meaningful this morning. A car that was going the wrong way down a one-way street. It makes you wonder what happens in a world where street signs are at odds with behaviors.

Breathless Bland Follower (VM)|12.1.09 @ 2:16PM|

OMG!OMG!OMG! you're so deep and insightful, moose. you're the natural, pure, herbal cure to the pharmaceutical-company bribed world out there.

VM|12.1.09 @ 4:42PM|

huh. i don't get it.

relax moose. it's pretty simple.

oh, okay. and so it is.

GROUP HUG!

ewwwww. get away from me. and put that thing away. mein gott. woah. huge

see? toldja so. and did those feet in ancient times.

indeed, moose. indeed.

VM|12.2.09 @ 11:08AM|

am unsure about today. just plain ol' unsure. /kicks pebble

|12.2.09 @ 5:15PM|

VM,

Rather than comment here, why not comment over at Urkobold? We're down to an average of .3 comments per post and are in dire risk of losing our advertising revenue.

Vm|12.3.09 @ 4:41PM|

actually - a brilliant idea. hmmmmm...
(I have to admit, I've not had any good inspiration for Emo Vampire or the Noir). and have been too busy to bate.

|12.8.09 @ 6:01PM|

How about an excerpt from your new book, Batin' for Internet Trolls?

VM|12.3.09 @ 4:40PM|

am rather pressed for time these days. can grab a few lines hier and there as I'm waiting for people to shuffle on by. or papers. or data. or computer programs to execute. certainly don't see any "downturn" hier, that's fer sher. :)

VM|12.4.09 @ 11:53AM|

OMG! I'm blogging about blogging!

VM|12.4.09 @ 5:58PM|

in true visionary fashion!

You really manage to bring out the mundane in everything!

Trackback| 12.5.09 @ 3:36PM

san diego yoga, on san diego yoga, links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:

If you are pregnant, your body undergoes changes each day. While a pose may feel wonderful today, it may not feel too good some other day. The most important thing to keep in mind while exercising is the principle common to all forms of yoga, which is non- violence to yourself. It involves allowing and accepting limitations in your body caused by pregnancy and selectively doing poses which make you feel comfortable. This is because the growing baby often changes positions, causing a certain…

VM|12.6.09 @ 10:59AM|

Still am puzzling over the Randians and the phone booth.

Does anybody else remember those epic arguments between Lefty and Laz Long? those were the days.

VM|12.6.09 @ 11:00AM|

That ^^ of course is in contrast to New York Yoga, which is total violence to yourself.

VM|12.6.09 @ 11:17AM|

and tagsky also recommends San Diego Yoga.

We all remember what "San Diego" means in English.

Kolohe|12.6.09 @ 1:13PM|

You mean what it means in German, right?

VM|12.6.09 @ 3:28PM|

exactly: San Diego is German. The English equivalent is...

(nice pickup, too)

VM|12.7.09 @ 7:08AM|

hay moose - sup, man?

Kolohe|12.8.09 @ 3:15AM|

I may start camping out here too, since they've just decided (when I was at lunch) to block all "Message boards and Forums" at work, but without provding any other non-work internet pay or free - so no Gryl anymore for the time being.

Also blocked now:
positiveliberty
The Websense category "Message Boards and Forums" is filtered.

highclearing
The Websense category "Society and Lifestyles" is filtered.

and last but not least
urkobold
The Websensecategory "Uncategorized" is filtered.

(ironically(?) most of the milblogs are also 'uncategorized' and now filtered as well)

highnumber|12.11.09 @ 1:32PM|

How can "uncategorized" be a category?

Kolohe|12.12.09 @ 3:43AM|

It's a US Government computer system, does that explain it?

|12.8.09 @ 6:05PM|

Should Urkobold be categorized? What as? The only categorization that I know of is Dondero's "Urkobold [is] a widely-read (sic) libertarian culture site." Would that keep us blocked?

Probably--everyone hates libertarians.

highnumber|12.11.09 @ 1:34PM|

Even I hate them. And I don't hate anyone. And I have, at times, self idenified as a libertarian.

VM|12.9.09 @ 8:20AM|

Kolohe - bummer stuff.

"uncategorized"... obviously, the web "master" is afraid of what might happen to the taint of a passer by! how about going via proxy (anonymouse, for instance)?

highnumber|12.11.09 @ 1:35PM|

The first thing I would ban if I ran the Websense is any site that allows you to surf anonymously.

VM|12.9.09 @ 5:45PM|

funny thing, moose - the desk isn't more clean. oh well.

*chomp*

highnumber|12.11.09 @ 1:40PM|

No, it's cleaner>.

*slurp*

VM|12.12.09 @ 4:55PM|

now it is more clean!!

Kolohe|12.10.09 @ 11:18AM|

how about going via proxy (anonymouse, for instance)?

I have neither the brains nor the balls to go 'around the system'.

This isn't 'Nam, there are rules.

VM|12.10.09 @ 3:50PM|

why do you keep on having to bring up vietnam? give him the seven. and put the piece away

|12.10.09 @ 6:21PM|

I'm surprised no one has ever marketed Vietgum. Its slogan? "Hey, Joe, chew you long time."

VM|12.11.09 @ 11:24AM|

Vietnam's steak sauce should be called b52?

|12.11.09 @ 2:32PM|

Too soon!

Kolohe|12.12.09 @ 3:55AM|

And then there's the ad for salad dressing

"Made with ordinary vegtable oil?

Nay, Palm!"

VM|12.12.09 @ 4:55PM|

SERVED BY MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!!

Kolohe|12.12.09 @ 3:51AM|

Here's something curious I just discovered. All the Atlantic bloggers get through the filter except Ta-Nehisi Coates (The Websense category "Social Networking and Personal Sites" is filtered.)

I would say that the Man doesn't recognize that an African American can be a professional blogger nowadays, but Tony Pierce's site get's through the filter, too.

Kolohe|12.12.09 @ 12:09PM|

And now a seemingly random selection of the blocked sites listed above are now accessible.

VM|12.12.09 @ 4:56PM|

that sucks. what about scienceblogs?

VM|12.14.09 @ 1:40PM|

brain in syrup + major changes to a report = stoopid-feeling moose.

VM|12.15.09 @ 10:15AM|

grrrrrrr.

(plan to overcome this)

VM|12.15.09 @ 5:26PM|

so far, so good.

just wait til the 7am is done tomorrow... then we'll see.

oh yes.

we'll see :)

|12.18.09 @ 2:59PM|

Merry Christmas to everyone back in 2006! Don't worry about the future. It's totally not true that we're in a major recession and that socialism is back in vogue among our leaders.

VM|12.20.09 @ 1:33PM|

was totally in vogue back in 06, too. don't forget who started the bailout bullshit!

Hay 2006 folks: people who liked GWB's economic policies (e.g., rebate checks) - you'll get to see why shit like that is a horrible idea.

and don't bet on the Cubbies for the next few seasons!

Kolohe|12.25.09 @ 10:30AM|

And a merry xmas to those in this timeline.

VikingMoose|12.28.09 @ 11:33AM|

and happy flying spaghetti monster merkins to all!

|12.29.09 @ 1:25PM|

Weird. I came to work today, and everyone was dressed funny. And this one dude--my aide-de-camp--has a beard.

VikingMoose|12.29.09 @ 2:18PM|

excellent stuff. They're celebrating!

VikingMoose|12.30.09 @ 9:58AM|

time for some serious salt mining.

|12.30.09 @ 3:01PM|

VM! I just learned that I've commuted to a parallel universe, where everyone is an evil twin!

VikingMoose|12.30.09 @ 5:42PM|

that's really cool.

is it true that everybody sports a goatee in said parallel universe?

and are taints on the forehead?

highnumber|1.3.10 @ 11:44PM|

Have you ever met the bizarro version of a friend, relative, or acquaintance? Since this happened to me, I think Seinfeld may have visited this notion. Let me say that when you discover that your friend is not the lumpy, funny talking one, it's a good feeling.

VikingMoose|1.5.10 @ 4:22PM|

since when is Lumpy a bad thing???

VikingMoose|12.31.09 @ 11:34AM|

go 'way. batin.

|1.6.10 @ 6:36PM|

highnumber,

I used to go to the same bar as one of my look-alikes. I like the think that he's patiently waiting for my moment of fame, so that he can make some money on the celebrity impersonation circuit.

Incidentally, I made it a point to never talk to him. He could, after all, be made of antimatter.

Trace Armstrong used to go to the same bar, but I never saw his evil twin. Maybe the school doesn't allow that for athletes?

|1.6.10 @ 6:45PM|

I like to think. I'm not rich or famous enough to have someone correct my blog comments.

|1.8.10 @ 3:20PM|

Where is everyone?

|1.12.10 @ 1:35PM|

Everyone is suffering from crippling Avatar depression.

|1.12.10 @ 1:55PM|

Oh, okay. I haven't seen it yet, so that explains everything.

VikingMoose|1.14.10 @ 1:59PM|

maybe they've eaten too much fresh fruit...

VikingMoose|1.25.10 @ 11:45AM|

welly welly well...

VikingMoose|1.27.10 @ 2:22PM|

yar.

|1.28.10 @ 5:53PM|

You know what, VM? Everyone is still here. They're just massively lurking, watching you. Wondering whether you'll crack under the strain of their massed silence rays.

Just thought you should know.

|1.28.10 @ 5:53PM|

I'd glad you posted over at Urkobold. It's been way too quiet over there.

|2.1.10 @ 12:54PM|

What's up with President Hassan's hair?

|2.2.10 @ 2:46PM|

Just thought I'd stop by and say "Hi".

I see you still haven't discovered a Nordic cervid repellant.

Go Saints (because I hate he Irsay family and want to see them to cry like Santorum's spawn).

VikingMoose|2.3.10 @ 1:51PM|

oh - I've been trying to see if I'll crack under the enormous strain of ignoring myself!

|2.5.10 @ 5:26PM|

I think Chris Tucker's character from The Fifth Element has a solid IP case against Lady Gaga.

|2.8.10 @ 6:32PM|

What do you mean? Lady Gaga is Chris Tucker. I thought everyone knew that.

|2.17.10 @ 4:43PM|

Slow week on this blog, huh?

|2.17.10 @ 5:26PM|

I gave up salty ham tears for Lent.

|2.22.10 @ 9:43AM|

I fear you have transgressed, then.

I wish someone would give us an update on the kids. Particularly the upset daughter and the son with the thousand-yard stare.

|3.5.10 @ 4:28PM|

Yeah. You'd think the Santorums would have the decency to send us one of those family Xmas letters.

Billy's treatment for his barbituate habit is proceeding nicely while Janie now goes to the mall without carrying her dolly, Mrs. Beazley.

|3.8.10 @ 10:41AM|

That's a great idea! They should reboot A Family Affair as a quasi-reality show, starring the Santorum family! Oh, so full of awesome.

Who would play Mr. French?

VikingMoose|3.13.10 @ 3:39PM|

this is the dumbest fucking holiday.

glad to be done with errands.

if any of those big, drunken assholes could point out ireland on a map (correctly), that'd be impressive!

Kolohe|3.15.10 @ 7:06AM|

Happy Ides of March everyone!

|3.15.10 @ 1:21PM|

I'm celebrating with the traditional soothsaying, drinking, toga-wearing, and ritual, simulated murder of close friends in high office.

VikingMoose|3.19.10 @ 10:15AM|

We dressed up in crazy robes and made proclamations off of our balcony.

|3.19.10 @ 1:08PM|

It's what the day is all about.

VikingMoose|3.19.10 @ 5:40PM|

and that's the beauty of it.

VikingMoose|3.25.10 @ 11:57AM|

a disturbing trend is emerging hier.

i believe it is time to watch. and judge.

VikingMoose|3.25.10 @ 11:58AM|

*watches*

VikingMoose|3.25.10 @ 11:58AM|

*judges*

VikingMoose|3.25.10 @ 1:17PM|

mmm. lunch tomorrow from hier.

will let you know how it goes

VM|3.26.10 @ 3:03PM|

twas good. overate to the point of not feeling good, now.

VikingMoose|3.29.10 @ 10:31AM|

Good morning, reason.

VM|3.29.10 @ 10:31AM|

DO NOT tell me what kind of day to have.

k?

Kolohe|3.31.10 @ 12:03AM|

How about, have a good night?

VikingMoose|3.31.10 @ 9:37AM|

that depends:
1) is stevo's bunk free
2) is the noam chomsky blow up doll unsoiled
3) is the leather-bound edition of "Heather Has Two Mommies" (the one with the sweaty pillow fight scene on page 69) in its proper place
4) the air temperature and pressure are just right for BATIN.

then, just then, maybe.

VikingMoose|3.31.10 @ 9:38AM|

BUT DON'T PUSH YOUR LUCK!

Norbert Wronkletoad|3.31.10 @ 9:39AM|

oh, jeez, Vik. Why'd you hafta go and say summfin like that?

Kolohe|3.31.10 @ 2:23PM|

I am no Michael Larsen, so I will just say 'toodles'.

Toddles!

Kolohe|3.31.10 @ 2:25PM|

Missed it by that much.

VikingMoose|3.31.10 @ 2:50PM|

just beware the wrath of the WRONKLETOAD

|3.31.10 @ 5:30PM|

What's the record for the longest comment thread? Temporally speaking, I mean.

|4.4.10 @ 7:12PM|

April is the crappiest month of the year.

VikingMoose|4.7.10 @ 12:29PM|

and the cruelest?

ProGlib - check out the NORML/Pilly Pecker thread. That's close.

And the "invade canada" one from way back.

VikingMoose|4.9.10 @ 1:44PM|

WRONKLETOAD!

VikingMoose|4.12.10 @ 11:45AM|

Dear Bland:

softly falling
gentle blanket
welcomed darkness
of Sylvia's stove

VikingMoose|4.14.10 @ 3:08PM|

how very interesting.

VikingMoose|4.16.10 @ 1:19PM|

thai for lunch.

winner.

|4.19.10 @ 1:26PM|

I meant the world record.

VikingMoose|4.19.10 @ 1:34PM|

69,000 posts

|4.23.10 @ 10:01AM|

Taking your answer seriously for no rational reason, I fear we have a long way to go.

VikingMoose|4.25.10 @ 12:10PM|

how many is this now?

and you knocked em out of the part with your URKOBOLDIAN activities last week. good to have you back, even though the vacation sounded awesome

Norbert Wronkletoad|4.25.10 @ 12:11PM|

how very interesting, VM. How soon is now?

|4.26.10 @ 2:52PM|

Oh, and thanks! I had some pent-up postings while being sans Intertubials. The vacation was great and should be what I get paid for rather than what I actually get paid for.

VikingMoose|4.28.10 @ 12:33PM|

today = ugh.

VikingMoose|10.18.10 @ 11:23AM|

oh just you wait. one month later... and your knee will come as a surprise.

just don't send that one email. DON'T!!!

VikingMoose|10.19.10 @ 9:59AM|

And, pay attention to the symptoms. DO NOT IGNORE THEM!

Trackback| 4.29.10 @ 1:07PM

Graco Nautilus 3 In 1 Car Seat, on Graco Nautilus 3 In 1 Car Seat, links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:

The phil and teds vibe, we love it! Its soo cool! But honestly it was lacking one key feature. The ability to attach a car seat adapter to it! Well guess what guys?? Sometime in June/ Jully time phil and teds is introducing the new phil and teds car seat adapter for the vibe stroller!!

VikingMoose|4.30.10 @ 4:25PM|

cheerio.

Kolohe|5.1.10 @ 12:54PM|

Happy May Day all you lumpenproletarians

|5.2.10 @ 7:17PM|

♫ This is the thread that never ends.
It goes on and on my friends.
Someone started posting it not knowing what it was,
and we'll continue commenting forever just because ... ♫

VikingMoose|5.3.10 @ 12:55PM|

this is a moment of deep reflection. I have access to a closet in which i can set up Stevo's Bunk.

Now the question is: is batin in the bunk a break from work, or is work a break from batin in the bunk?

i'm leaning latter.

VikingMoose|5.5.10 @ 10:30AM|

pura vida

lunchstealer|5.6.10 @ 2:39AM|

Hey kids, how're things in The Future? Do we have flying cars yet?

VikingMoose|5.6.10 @ 1:07PM|

no. what is for you "the future", the greatest minds are solely working on preventing hair loss and prolonging erections.

|5.6.10 @ 4:30PM|

. . .and all we've got so far is the ability to make penises hairy.

lunchstealer|5.11.10 @ 4:42PM|

Can we safely sustain hairy erections for more than four hours now?

|5.12.10 @ 12:21PM|

No. The four-hour limit appears to be a fundamental requirement of the laws of physics.

VikingMoose|5.17.10 @ 11:41AM|

sheesh. just count on the evil fiziks types to go and ruin things...

VikingMoose|5.18.10 @ 10:01AM|

what is the functional equivalent of Salma Hayek?

|5.19.10 @ 4:40PM|

Hmmm,
Dark hair, dark eyes, looks great in a bikini, not shy about exposing her bidy ...

Miss USA, Rima Fakih, should fit the bill.

VikingMoose|5.20.10 @ 5:29PM|

Jsub - of course!

VikingMoose|5.21.10 @ 10:55AM|

"is dreading that the difficult call is happening mid-to-late afternoon"

Kolohe|5.21.10 @ 2:06PM|

Dude, if his foot is over the line, it's a foul. Mark it zero.

jersey|5.27.10 @ 2:03AM|

working on preventing hair loss and prolonging erections.

VikingMoose|6.1.10 @ 2:52PM|

holy crap. what is that new tatoo? and where the hell am i?

|6.1.10 @ 4:48PM|

It's approaching four years since this was posted. What are the Children of Santorum (Children of the Sanotorum, ahum, ahum) doing today?

|9.1.10 @ 7:02AM|

I thought that santorum just got wiped up and the tissue thrown away...

They make kids with that stuff, gross.

VikingMoose|6.2.10 @ 5:07PM|

therapy?

|6.7.10 @ 4:16PM|

Giving or receiving?

VikingMoose|6.3.10 @ 10:47AM|

mmmm. salty ham tears

VikingMoose|6.7.10 @ 11:37PM|

downside of jet lag: jet lag
upside in Scandinavia in Summer: it's light and seems like mid morning at 4am, so it's not so painful after all

vikingmoose|6.10.10 @ 7:45AM|

gonna let someone else take this over. might check in from time to time, but when homophobes, idiots who don't know their formal econ get econ cred, and assholes like palin and beck get called "more libertarian than X" (zero times a number is still zero), then i gotta do my mona impression

Kolohe|6.11.10 @ 2:26PM|

DEMAND KURV!

|6.18.10 @ 1:25PM|

GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLL!

Oh, sorry, I forgot to add the American discount.

Urkobold™|7.7.10 @ 8:58PM|

AT LAST, THE URKOBOLD IS THE MASTER OF HIS DOMAIN!

Minion of URKOBOLD|7.18.10 @ 11:58AM|

BOUNCY BOUNCY!

|7.27.10 @ 5:41PM|

It's quiet around here. Too quiet.

|7.30.10 @ 12:29PM|

Plot hatching always is.

Metro News 1|7.30.10 @ 12:50PM|

BREAKING NEWS

This just in: kittens have paws and say mew!

|7.30.10 @ 4:26PM|

Ahem. I am now the final poster. Selah.

|7.31.10 @ 12:24AM|

WRONG!

|7.31.10 @ 12:24AM|

WRONG!

|7.31.10 @ 2:47PM|

HAH! No, YOU are wrong, Taktix®!

|8.2.10 @ 12:54PM|

I came here for an argument.

|8.3.10 @ 8:43AM|

ProLib, to the last I grapple with thee; from Hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee...

|8.6.10 @ 5:09PM|

Are you implying that I'm a white whale?

|8.6.10 @ 3:58PM|

Hello, VM. Oh, don't cry! You'll rust so dreadfully. Here's your oil can.

Hello, highnumber. I know it isn't right, but I've missed the way you used to holler for help before you found your courage.

[to ProLib] I think I've missed you most of all.

There's no place like the salty ham tears thread. There's no place like the salty ham tears thread. There's no place like the salty ham tears thread...

|8.6.10 @ 5:10PM|

A whale and a scarecrow. I must make a different impression than I think on these here Intertubials.

VikingMoose|8.10.10 @ 7:20PM|

yay!

(6/11 critique still stands)

|8.11.10 @ 9:32AM|

Why are you and not posting? I'll have you know that the Urkobold was thinking about testing a new taint whither on you after you neglected your Emo Vampire duties last week.

It's true, He's hooked.

|8.16.10 @ 5:45PM|

Whitherer, that is.

Kolohe|8.14.10 @ 7:35AM|

Coming in 2012: Salty Ham Tears II ?

http://dailycaller.com/2010/08.....-2012-bid/

|8.16.10 @ 10:45AM|

Santorum 2: Election BooHooHoo

Urkobold™|8.18.10 @ 5:34PM|

THE URKOBOLD WINS THIS THREAD.

|8.18.10 @ 5:42PM|

And so begins Reason's decent into becoming a 4Chan clone.

|8.18.10 @ 6:07PM|

Wait...

You lunatics have been keeping this thread alive for 4 years!??!

What is wrong with you people?

lunchstealer|8.18.10 @ 7:03PM|

We're just too awesome. Almost criminally awesome.

lunchstealer|8.18.10 @ 7:03PM|

We're just too awesome. Almost criminally awesome.

lunchstealer|8.18.10 @ 7:03PM|

We're just too awesome. Almost criminally awesome.

lunchstealer|8.18.10 @ 7:04PM|

Whoa! I think there's an echo in here.

Vermont Gun Owner|2.3.11 @ 2:09PM|

No, it's just so much awesome it can't fit in one or even two posts.

|8.18.10 @ 7:29PM|

THE URKOBOLD WINS THIS THREAD.

Why yes. He certainly does. All hail the mighty URKOBOLD.

PS - Where's my goddam cookie?

highnumber|9.7.10 @ 1:04PM|

No. This thread is mine.

waffles|8.18.10 @ 8:34PM|

dear god why!? nevermind the buttocks, this exists for certain. Sooth, I shall give several more lashes tonight for comeuppance.

waffles|8.18.10 @ 8:35PM|

dear god why!? nevermind the buttocks, this exists for certain. Sooth, I shall give several more lashes tonight for comeuppance.

|8.18.10 @ 11:03PM|

Someone tell me Urkobold posted an image in some random dead thread from 3 years ago that was not found and removed by the reason squirrels.

Urkobold™|8.19.10 @ 10:55AM|

WHAT? THE URKOBOLD IS DISPLEASED!

|8.19.10 @ 1:25PM|

Anarchy Thread!

VikingMoose|8.19.10 @ 5:37PM|

EVERYBODY LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY. I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE:

GO AWAY. BATIN

|8.19.10 @ 11:41PM|

All you haters suck my balls

AYHSMB!

FrBunny|8.24.10 @ 1:38PM|

9/11 Mosque.

[that's the dying-thread equivalent of a defibrillator]

|9.7.10 @ 9:17AM|

I come from the future to tell you that no one will give a shit about the ground zero mosque after a week or so.

|10.3.10 @ 2:15PM|

The ground zero what?

VikingMoose|10.19.10 @ 9:57AM|

who?

VikingMoose|8.24.10 @ 3:55PM|

grrrrrrr.

|8.28.10 @ 12:12AM|

Do not suck GBN's balls, even if you are an hater...

You have been warned!

kilroy|9.7.10 @ 2:20PM|

Finally.

|9.8.10 @ 9:39AM|

Wowee - what a bunch of freaks. Those "children" are Hollywood central casting, right?

MysteryFish|9.8.10 @ 11:23AM|

Well, now seems as good a time as ever to delurk.

Wait...what's this tingling...in my taint...

MINION OF URKOBOLD|9.23.10 @ 8:03AM|

FOOLISH MORTAL. THAT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE ANTS IN YOUR PANTS.

*WITHERS TAINT OF RANDOM PASSER BY*

|9.9.10 @ 4:06PM|

In the year 2010, we are replaced with exact duplicates of ourselves.

|9.17.10 @ 2:24PM|

WTS? What did you do with the real ProL?

|9.18.10 @ 9:30PM|

Dumped him in a singularity.

Hugh Akston|9.12.10 @ 6:24PM|

Current meme* to chum the waters.

http://saddondraper.tumblr.com/post/1095106236/boohooo

*'meme' may be a little generous.

VikingMoose|9.23.10 @ 8:04AM|

due to the fantastic productivity yesterday, today should be good.

|9.23.10 @ 12:04PM|

I wonder if this thread is classified as a porn site, like Urkobold apparently now is?

VikingMoose|9.25.10 @ 10:52AM|

who what where, now what?

|9.25.10 @ 12:14PM|

I found that link that you guys were looking for.

Here is Van Damme fighting the Penguin's mascot, Iceberg.

Watch out for that meat slicer Van Damme!

|10.4.10 @ 2:02PM|

In the year 2010, Newt Gingrich changes his first name from Newton to Newcular Titties.

VikingMoose|10.6.10 @ 7:33PM|

hrumph.

|10.8.10 @ 5:03PM|

What, you don't approve? You like Newton better?

VikingMoose|10.12.10 @ 9:15AM|

Prefer "ThroatwabblerMangrove"

|10.13.10 @ 2:17PM|

That's spelt "Luxury Yacht."

VikingMoose|10.17.10 @ 12:00PM|

One thing about this thread, some of the worries from one year ago did come true.

Others did not.

/kicks pebble

VikingMoose|10.18.10 @ 11:23AM|

Good morning, Reason.

|10.18.10 @ 11:33AM|

This explains a great many things.

VikingMoose|10.18.10 @ 3:15PM|

yes, but it most certainly does not explain where I woke up, AND WITHOUT PANTS.

grrrrr.

|10.20.10 @ 6:53PM|

Egad.

VikingMoose|10.20.10 @ 6:57PM|

not as bad as the note at URKOBOLD blogger page!

|11.14.10 @ 9:27PM|

Isn't urkobold that website where they copy and paste reason hit & run comment threads on a black background?

|11.18.10 @ 12:21PM|

Oh snap.

VikingMoose|7.13.11 @ 8:43AM|

ha! wrong! it's buzzfeed, and it's a white background! oh yeah! suqit!

VikingMoose|10.22.10 @ 12:35PM|

giggle. heterodox styles with ignorance of mainstream

VikingMoose|10.23.10 @ 11:52AM|

I object to the next comment.

VIkingMoose|10.25.10 @ 3:15PM|

is exploring the market for "time share underwear"

|10.25.10 @ 6:15PM|

Explain to me why you can comment on a dead thread but can't keep up with your Wayne-Sulu responsibilities?

VikingMoose|10.27.10 @ 10:32AM|

oooooh. *giggle* it's not dead. it's quite alive *twitch* oh, yes.

*giggle*. this precious thread is alive and needs nourishment. *twitch*

|10.29.10 @ 11:01AM|

I'm going to post for you and kill them both off. But only after I reveal that. . .

John Wayne is a fag.

VikingMoose|10.29.10 @ 12:06PM|

THE HELL HE IS!

|11.2.10 @ 12:42PM|

He was, too, you boys. I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood, and he come to the door in a dress.

VikingMoose|10.27.10 @ 10:31AM|

oh hay hai!

|10.27.10 @ 6:01PM|

Ah hello, then. I was wondering if you chaps could give me directions to the INVADE CANADA thread?

|10.29.10 @ 11:02AM|

Take off, to the Great White North. Take off, it's a beauty way to go. Take off, to the Great White North. Take off, it's a beauty way to go.

Hope that helps, you hoser.

VikingMoose|10.29.10 @ 12:07PM|

and take Ogie Ogelthorp with you.

VikingMoose|11.1.10 @ 10:13AM|

NOVEMBER!!!!

tomorrow is the full election cycle for this thread :)

and am just going through an election cycle right now.

*heads to Stevo's bunk*

|11.2.10 @ 10:42AM|

I COME FROM THE FUTURE:

NOTHING HAS CHANGED, SOMETHING CALLED "TEA PARTIES" ARE VOTING, IN THE POCKET OF BIG TETLEY!

CARRY ON. COMMANDER>

VikingMoose|11.2.10 @ 10:36AM|

wow. gosh. so many things have happened since this wonderful thread. We're now at another midterm.

Just like the last one, we know where this is heading.

To that one side i say: "oh. why do you think that will be the outcome? on what do you base that conclusion? Really?"

and to that other side: "so that'll work... how?"

and for that other other side: "huh?"

and don't forget about that other "other" other side: "um. those talking points are more than 60 years old"

|11.2.10 @ 10:44AM|

I COME FROM SIX MINUTES IN THE FUTURE. POT IS STILL ILLEGAL.

CARRY ON. COMMANDER>

|11.2.10 @ 12:43PM|

I'm a big fan of the COMMANDER.

VikingMoose|11.2.10 @ 2:55PM|

THE COMMANDER USES SALTY HAM TEARS AS LUBE.

AND COMES FROM AND IN THE FUTURE.

AGAIN AND AGAIN.

|11.2.10 @ 3:48PM|

Ummm ham...

|11.2.10 @ 6:02PM|

Your thread frightens and confuses me.

VikingMoose|11.3.10 @ 3:36PM|

That is not the only thing that will frighten and confuse you.

Now, go get your automatic BCS bid, regardless of record or schedule strength.

VikingMoose|11.4.10 @ 1:18PM|

time to squeeze the tea bags.

VikingMoose|11.6.10 @ 10:21AM|

Kenny Powers will be back. Mark my words.

VikingMoose|11.9.10 @ 9:40AM|

Day of contrasts.

VikingMoose|11.10.10 @ 11:51AM|

Dear Bland:

today I pretended a walrus could speak Portuguese.

Kolohe|11.10.10 @ 8:46PM|

The end of the universe will contain a lone quantum singularity powered computer, dual tasked with 1) solving the problem of reversing entropy and 2) bring this thread to a conclusion.

|11.11.10 @ 2:16PM|

This thread proves authoritatively that entropy is a bourgeois myth, foisted upon us by corporations that want us to keep buying new stuff to replace the stuff that entropy supposedly breaks down. Nonsense!

|11.11.10 @ 12:58PM|

Tears so delicious
Vulgarly trespassed upon
Pure goodness defiled

VikingMoose|11.11.10 @ 4:00PM|

smurfette. blue bewbiez.

*motorboats*

Montani Semper Liberi|11.11.10 @ 8:44PM|

I was on the fence about donating to Reason, but then I accidentally stumbled on this thread today. $100 on the way.

|11.12.10 @ 12:26PM|

There's no way this thread will ever have the most comments ever, but it could be the longest running post upon which comments are made. If not now, at some point in the future.

Vermont Gun Owner|2.3.11 @ 2:13PM|

What was the most comments ever?

VikingMoose|11.12.10 @ 11:14AM|

listen hier, Hannah, no latinizing of your name will get you off the hook for less than $125.

k?

oh, and a calligraphy autograph done with a lock of Justin Bieber's hair
(*swoons*)

|11.14.10 @ 9:33PM|

For free information important to you and your FAMILY, please send your address and social security number to the orange email address under the trusted capitol l brand brand name!

FREE INFORMATION...PROFIT FOR YOU!

Send social security number to orange email address under most trusted capitol l brand logo name

IN GOD BLESS YOU ARE FAMILY!

PAYPAL excepted.

Love you r faced with,

KONGO SUPTARIZICK III

VikingMoose|11.15.10 @ 9:07AM|

pre cambrian art is a good investment, too.

|11.15.10 @ 2:53PM|

I'm surprised that there's not more spam in this thread. Maybe it's out of respect for history in the making.

|11.16.10 @ 9:01AM|

Do you know who else made history?

|11.17.10 @ 1:29PM|

The COMMANDER?

VikingMoose|11.17.10 @ 9:42AM|

"capital I" was a good Sesame Street skit.

|11.18.10 @ 12:27PM|

I got a Kindle yesterday. My first book download was written by H&R regular Fluffy (ne Thomas Brookside).

Fear not, I will report back.

VikingMoose|11.18.10 @ 2:55PM|

awesome!

|11.22.10 @ 12:11PM|

Fluffy's book was too short, but really very good. It reads like a well-done novelization of the movie version of a great book. I highly recommend it for a quick weekend read.

For the confirmed parents out there (Looking at you, Pro Lib) the child-sacrifice scene is tough.

|11.27.10 @ 11:30AM|

This unconfirmed parent thought that the sacrifice scenes were hilarious!

|12.1.10 @ 4:31PM|

Yeah, homey don't play that. I get offended when a kid is hospitalized on House.

|12.13.10 @ 8:35AM|

I get offended as well. People may call us monsters, but kids should not be taking away hospital beds from productive adults! Same with the elderly, can't we just let them die with some dignity(or not)?

Maybe we could let people in doctor college practice on kids and old people. Everyone wins!

The doctors can sharpen their skills for when they have to treat us, and the kids and old folks get to be experimented on!

Spazmo|12.2.10 @ 11:03PM|

Fluffy has a book? God help us.

Where can I get it?

Spazmo|12.2.10 @ 11:04PM|

Never mind, I see that I am an idiot.

VikingMoose|11.29.10 @ 9:17AM|

Good morning, Dieter.

Dieter Schwing|11.29.10 @ 9:29AM|

Why, top of the morning to you, too, Sir!

VikingMoose|11.30.10 @ 9:34AM|

what ever happened to the folks in this pic? they should do a VH1 retro on them, "for schadenfreude, hier the fuck is where these twaddlenocks are"

maybe Chelsea Clinton can hire the son as her intern, and he can get caught under her desk. Oh the irony.

|12.1.10 @ 4:34PM|

I addressed this in part upthread somewhere. Either in the future or in the past. But not today.

VikingMoose|12.2.10 @ 12:02PM|

ah! good!

VikingMoose|12.3.10 @ 9:08AM|

good morning.

RIP #10.

VikingMoose|12.5.10 @ 4:15PM|

bibbity bobbity doo.

VikingMoose|12.7.10 @ 7:16AM|

is tired of the masturbatory fawning over the pats.

VikingMoose|12.8.10 @ 4:12PM|

wtf.

that is all. just "wtf".

|12.9.10 @ 4:39PM|

In December 2010, Hit & Run ignored the successful and groundbreaking launch of the Dragon spacecraft aboard the Falcon 9 rocket. Why? Only you of the future can know for sure.

VikingMoose|12.9.10 @ 6:23PM|

however, the feared and beloved URKOBOLD noticed!

|12.13.10 @ 12:30PM|

Why wouldn't He? He was on board the Dragon when it launched.

VikingMoose|12.10.10 @ 8:58AM|

*wonders what Mrs Jabba The Hut will get for xmas this year...*

|12.14.10 @ 2:54PM|

Same thing as every year--a little gold bikini.

Kolohe|12.12.10 @ 9:52PM|

is tired of the masturbatory fawning over the pats.

You must have loved today's performance then.

(Assuming you're not talking about Pat Reilly or Pat Benatar)

(Also assuming you don't mean 'Points After Touchdowns'; but speaking of rubbing it out, how bout those 'Skins today)

|12.13.10 @ 12:31PM|

There are some in Tampa who enjoyed that moment thoroughly.

VikingMoose|12.13.10 @ 1:19PM|

ugh! no kidding!

the only hilarity about the "game" yesterday was listening to the Chicago sports media come to terms with the fact that the bears just aren't at the level that they pretend!

|12.13.10 @ 8:30AM|

Did you guys hear about that suicide bomber in Sweden?

Me neither.

VikingMoose|12.13.10 @ 1:20PM|

(tries to make a joke based on the success of finding Olaf Palme's killer)

((unsuccessfully))

VikingMoose|12.14.10 @ 11:29AM|

good morning, Reason.

VikingMoose|12.15.10 @ 2:34PM|

hier

|12.15.10 @ 7:32PM|

Any of you guys ever try to find out what the spring constant of your dick is?

Just askin'.

VikingMoose|12.17.10 @ 11:30AM|

oooh. that sounds interesting.

I know, um, someone who used binder clips and some small weights to see how much he could stretch his taint, believing it to have magical powers...

VikingMoose|12.18.10 @ 12:19PM|

ability to drive
physical condition/functional strength
critical thinking
education/smarts
external forces on health

am thinking of elements of human capital that people misstate in themselves...

VikingMoose|12.19.10 @ 10:58AM|

dear bland:

the snow and ice cover the lake-front path. sand. debris.

what a storm

VikingMoose|12.20.10 @ 11:58AM|

not sure what to do next. is it time to do that one thing with that stuff, or the other stuff?

FrBunny|12.20.10 @ 4:36PM|

am thinking of elements of human capital that people misstate in themselves...

Don't forget "sense of humor".

VikingMoose|12.20.10 @ 5:17PM|

absolutely! good one!

|12.21.10 @ 7:21PM|

Immortality.

VikingMoose|12.22.10 @ 10:45AM|

do you mean "it can't happen to me"? that's definitely the result :)

VikingMoose|12.21.10 @ 9:49AM|

one
two
three
Favre
five

VikingMoose|12.22.10 @ 10:43AM|

to the person who's in washer #6. You used too much soap!

the window is totally sudsed over. and the unit ended up stopping with ten minutes left. hilarious!

VikingMoose|12.22.10 @ 10:47AM|

oh yeah, to the people on the down elevator who were talking about how much they hate going to the fam for xmas. DON'T GO! just fucking sack up and not go. if it's that miserable, why be such a fucking weaksauce pussy? just fucking don't go.

zoddammit i fucking hate hearing that shit. just show some fucking sack.

sathi2000|12.22.10 @ 3:48PM|

Looking forward to another great article. Good luck to the author! all the best!
http://destinationsoftwareinc.com

VikingMoose|12.23.10 @ 1:48PM|

what the fucking fuck?????

if you're gonna span, at least realize that the author still does excellent work. just elsewhere.

or you're actually admitting that you take delight in the suffering of the child? mein gott. think of the children. especially if they have a 1000 mile stare.

and a big knife.

*runs off in terror*

|12.23.10 @ 5:41PM|

I miss TofuSushi.

|12.29.10 @ 8:52AM|

I got the entire series of Ex Machina for Jesus's Birthday (Observed).

I had been led to believe the politics of the story were libertarian-leaning, but in issue 1, the protagonist vows to try someone for murder for posting a bomb recipe online. [Harumph]

VikingMoose|12.29.10 @ 5:47PM|

that's a total hrumph, there, FrBunny!

which was TofuSushi?

VikingMoose|12.30.10 @ 12:06PM|

good morning reason.

|12.30.10 @ 4:22PM|

I'm trying to write "A Visit from Shai-Hulud" but I'm getting stuck. Anyone here have any ideas about how to morph the description of St. Nick into one of the God Emperor?

VikingMoose|12.30.10 @ 4:33PM|

how about having lightning strike his saf-t-taint brand taint guard, causing some sort of electric arc that like has some brain changes n stuff?

|1.3.11 @ 10:42AM|

Sadly, I was not able to work your suggestions into the final, published version.

VikingMoose|12.31.10 @ 10:56AM|

happy fucking new year.

VikingMoose|1.1.11 @ 12:55PM|

no, it should be:

"Happy New Year, Reason"

VikingMoose|1.3.11 @ 10:33AM|

oh hay hai, reason.

|1.3.11 @ 4:19PM|

This place is a mess. What have you been doing in here?

VikingMoose|1.4.11 @ 10:01AM|

PAR-TAY!!!!

(good morning, reason)

VikingMoose|1.5.11 @ 11:03AM|

"death panels"?????

fuck you all. this stuff and econ are really two fucking shining stars for y'all.

VikingMoose|1.8.11 @ 10:25AM|

where the hell are my pants?

|1.9.11 @ 11:16AM|

I would like it if the yummy sweet tears thread could have a moment of silence to observe the horrible (almost)death of the heroic congresswoman Gifford.

I will lead us in prayer:

Dear lord, when someone dies on teevee I get very sad. So sad that I have to go to reason h&r and tell everybody how much I mourn, I feel concern for the families. We all should feel concern for the families™, but lord, some people can't be bothered to properly mourn for the (almost)dead that they never knew. Like this guy "warty". He is an immature cocktooler, and a horrible person. Please strike him dead, lord, but don't do it on the teevee, because I don't want to have to have mourn/sob fest for that subhuman cunt.

Amen.

|1.15.11 @ 11:50AM|

...and please help Moose find his pants. He'll ruin the couch with his 'Mondays' if he goes unsheathed.

VikingMoose|1.10.11 @ 10:19AM|

dammit. that prayer had nothing to do with finding my pants.

and i also have a raging case of the mondays.

(although the word "cocktooler" is pretty damned awesome)

VikingMoose|1.11.11 @ 4:07PM|

dunno if lake looks lovely today- there is a bit of fog/snow over it :)

|1.12.11 @ 9:29PM|

It was in the fifties today. I had to wear a light jacket!

VikingMoose|1.13.11 @ 10:03AM|

nice!!

|1.18.11 @ 2:11PM|

Now it's in the 70s, blue skies and sunny. I never can remember the seasons down here. What is it, Thermidor?

|2.20.11 @ 11:11AM|

Thermidore. That's a nice name for a boy.

|1.15.11 @ 11:57AM|

This thread can only end when someone names the unspeakable horror that the Santorum kid is witnessing out over yonder.

I think it is the hovering ghost of the dead baby that the family played with.

VikingMoose|1.15.11 @ 2:57PM|

that is their punishment. one should not play with one's food.

|1.18.11 @ 9:55PM|

Don't mention the abybay eatingway to Pro Lib. He likes to have 'em instead of eatin' 'em. I think that he is a mexican or something. Whatever, dude smells like onions.

|1.21.11 @ 4:43PM|

You bad, bad people in this obscure, obscure thread.

|1.28.11 @ 7:15PM|

It's hardly obscure now.

|1.31.11 @ 6:12PM|

Obscure and getting obscurer by the day. Unless it gets cited in an appellate court opinion.

|2.20.11 @ 11:13AM|

Yummy, Salty Tears; ibid.

|1.28.11 @ 1:02PM|

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time.

I like to believe this was added when Welch casually stumbled upon this thread recently. Though I also have nightmares of coming back one day to see everything deleted except for aaa aaa's indignance and TWC's dead-baby jokes.

Also, I would never link to it, but somehow Rather -- yes, that Rather -- found and commented on my blog. It was a bizarre and incoherent rant about Jack Conway and Deep Throat, so I know it was the real Rather.

|1.28.11 @ 7:17PM|

I think deleting everything except my contributions would be quite fair.

VikingMoose|1.31.11 @ 9:39AM|

it would certainly add something to the thread...

|1.31.11 @ 6:15PM|

I think allowing in-line coding in this thread would be nice.

|2.3.11 @ 11:37AM|

What's the reason for continuing to post in this thread? It doesn't push it back up to the top of the blog or anything.

|2.4.11 @ 6:16PM|

It's like a blog within a blog.

Besides, in 75 years, we'll have set the record for most comments on a single thread.

|2.20.11 @ 10:55PM|

Commenting here does so push the thread back to the top o' the blog. You just haven't been authorized by the mods to see the top 'o the blog.

I hate you because of this.

|2.3.11 @ 6:55PM|

Oj, hai gais. U havan a party?

|2.14.11 @ 1:56PM|

YOU ARE STANDING AT THE END OF A ROAD BEFORE A SMALL BRICK BUILDING. AROUND YOU IS A FOREST. A SMALL STREAM FLOWS OUT OF THE BUILDING AND DOWN A GULLY.

guy in the back row|2.14.11 @ 4:14PM|

OPEN GRATE WITH KEY

|2.15.11 @ 4:29PM|

YOU UNLOCK THE STEEL GRATE.

|2.16.11 @ 12:27PM|

Man, these always end up with Dr. Fred throwing me in the dungeon with Sandy Pantz.

|3.24.11 @ 5:52PM|

Sandi took a shit in the dungeon once.

Kolohe|2.18.11 @ 5:19PM|

A breaking news update for Tråd utan slut

http://highclearing.com/index......2/18/12579

(N.B. 'Minion of URKOBOLD' = 'VikingMoose')

|2.22.11 @ 9:42AM|

We're all hoping for the best. I wasn't sure he wanted any public notice of this, which is why we haven't mentioned it at Urkobold.

Banjos Kick Ass!|2.20.11 @ 1:32AM|

What the fuck is this place and how did I get here? The last thing I remember is clicking a link.

|2.22.11 @ 9:52AM|

It is the Internet Rome to which all links lead.

VikingMoose|2.27.11 @ 12:07PM|

thanks, Kolohe for the thoughts!

ProGlib: "Xyzzy"

we had a post about "xyzzy vs plugh" at URKOBOLD a few years ago :)

|2.28.11 @ 3:36PM|

During your recovery, we'll pull together to provide links for you to your obscure references. Like this classic from the Urkobold vault.

VikingMoose|3.2.11 @ 7:56AM|

yay. thank you!

VikingMoose|3.2.11 @ 7:53AM|

woo hoo!

VikingMoose|3.3.11 @ 9:27AM|

good morning, Reason.

VikingMoose|3.4.11 @ 7:59AM|

oh hay hai reason. mornin!

|3.4.11 @ 2:01PM|

Soylent Green ist Menschenfleisch!

VikingMoose|3.4.11 @ 2:37PM|

und ist zwar köstlich aber teuer...

VikingMoose|3.7.11 @ 8:07AM|

good morning, Reason.

|3.7.11 @ 12:23PM|

Brauchen Sie mehr!

VikingMoose|3.10.11 @ 9:56AM|

Early tips for the 2012 "yummy and sweet" winner.

get your nominations in!

VikingMoose|3.14.11 @ 11:09AM|

of course you know, this means wo-ah.

|3.14.11 @ 5:32PM|

Happy Kadavergehorsam Day, Moose.

VikingMoose|3.16.11 @ 10:59AM|

why thank you, ProGLib. since said Kadaver are so gehorsam, I find that they tend to appreciate gentle love making to their neck stumps.

|3.17.11 @ 4:55PM|

They are permissive and hedonistic, apparently.

VikingMoose|3.18.11 @ 8:06AM|

good morning, reason.

|3.18.11 @ 1:14PM|

I'm near the bottom of the NCAA pool here at Hit & Run. My shame is shameful. Of course, the first round isn't over yet.

Can't believe Louisville. Bitches set me up!

VikingMoose|3.19.11 @ 7:15PM|

that's something!

as long as Kansas, Connecticut and Carolina don't do squat, I'll be somewhat happy.

|3.21.11 @ 5:36PM|

Well, that's no good, as I have two of those teams in the final and the other in the Eight.

VikingMoose|3.21.11 @ 7:54AM|

good morning. ugh. cruel, cruel cruelty: Monday Morning.

VikingMoose|3.23.11 @ 10:27AM|

Emo Vampire was one of the orderlies I saw this morning. Was a bit more animated than I would have expected.

|3.24.11 @ 5:58PM|

It's been a good while since your last Emo Vampire post. And it's Thursday!

VikingMoose|3.26.11 @ 9:51AM|

Poor emo vampire. they moved, and his folks didn't tell him, until a day or two before. totally mean.

|3.28.11 @ 1:19PM|

But understandable.

VikingMoose|3.29.11 @ 10:27AM|

how so?

|3.30.11 @ 2:57PM|

He's kind of annoying.

VikingMoose|3.31.11 @ 2:29PM|

totally. good call!

we could see if the movers will stuff him into a refrigerator box and throw him in the back of the semi...

Elipsis|3.30.11 @ 11:21PM|

How can this thread still be going on?

VikingMoose|3.31.11 @ 2:30PM|

cuz people like you come in and ask! it's a "first served, first come" style.

VikingMoose|4.1.11 @ 11:55AM|

remember the CO2/BBQ thread.

VikingMoose|4.3.11 @ 10:32AM|

dammit. with two of the dirtiest programs in the one semi... still. Why the F is their coach in the "hall of fame"? maybe for the all time lowest non-transfer graduation rate?

fuck espn for making this school of twaddlenocks popular. It's about as academically bad as Cincy.

fuck 'em. Go Butler!

Hugh Akston|4.3.11 @ 3:07PM|

VM, this is neither the time nor the place to discuss the NCAA tournament. They make dark closets that lock from the outside for that.

VikingMoose|4.4.11 @ 11:36AM|

oh yes! Batin Stations: "No Release until you have". those are awesome!

They make having a "time out" so much more fun!

VikingMoose|4.5.11 @ 8:58AM|

it is time to ponder the great mystery of the missing mattress tags. We sent our agent, cover name "Don Corleone" to the suspect's house (she had moved out, thus removing potential danger", but we have not heard from him since...

|4.5.11 @ 5:42PM|

Sorry, this one's my fault. You had asked for Mr. Steven Crane to be released for sports posts, so I arranged an exchange. "Don Corelone" is now in the hands of the physicists.

Mr. Steven Crane's whereabouts are unknown, except that we know he was freed.

VikingMoose|4.6.11 @ 10:12AM|

that is a relief. phew.

now all we need is his pronosticationtizing...

|4.7.11 @ 5:26PM|

I think you got that word wrong. It should be "pornosticationtizing."

Vermont Gun Owner|4.6.11 @ 9:21PM|

So guys, what do you think of a handle that's some variation of "Goldtinted stealth monocle"?

|4.7.11 @ 5:28PM|

Demonocle. Or even Demonocles, if you want to sound Greek.

Auric Demononcles would be Gold Demon Monocles in English.

Auric Demonocles|4.9.11 @ 4:12PM|

This is why I came to get some input.

VikingMoose|4.7.11 @ 4:06PM|

why the hell did someone wrap Crane's pants around the emergency exit?

|4.7.11 @ 5:29PM|

His whereabouts are now less unknown.

VikingMoose|4.8.11 @ 10:25AM|

why the fuck would people cheat at a laid back (no prizes) game of trivia? how fucking lame is that?

this type is known as "the perpetual yellow belt". *giggle*

VikingMoose|4.9.11 @ 10:09AM|

time to get fired up.

Kolohe|4.9.11 @ 7:12PM|

from DRUNKHULK http://twitter.com/#!/DRUNKHULK/status/55668032554541056

"IMAGINE HOW HIGH NUMBER BE IF PEOPLE ACTUAL CARE!"

For the record, I care as much as a virtual stranger on the internet can, but I wasn't aware that highnumber was anything other than hunkydory.

|5.11.11 @ 1:48PM|

You DO care!

VikingMoose|4.10.11 @ 8:58AM|

good catch, Kolohe - you have intercepted a Seekret Evil Fiziks Transmishun that clearly targets Highnumber.

This could be the lead we're after! We'll rescue Crane, get the bikes back, and have enough time for a mimosa and a swim!

VikingMoose|4.11.11 @ 7:53AM|

blargh, Reason.

VikingMoose|4.12.11 @ 8:51AM|

funny for many posters in the main H&R, a bad outcome causes as much whining as "LeBronGate" caused in NYC and Chicago.

mein gott. you cannot guarantee outcomes. I guess that's the line between the fake fucker poseurs...

and go Pacers.

VikingMoose|4.13.11 @ 8:22AM|

"snakes. why couldn't it be snakes?"
"Nazis? I giggle at those guys"
"Staff of Ra looks like a proud 'horned' Johnson"

-- from the file of rejected Indie Quotes

VikingMoose|4.14.11 @ 8:00AM|

IT'S ABOUT TO GET ALL STUPID UP IN HIER!!!!!!

just learned that a "Cleveland Steamer" is exactly the same as a "meletary loier"

|4.14.11 @ 9:40AM|

WHEN THE FUCK DID THE SALTY TEARS THREAD BECOME THE BASKETBALLBATION THREAD, I HAD NO VOTE!

I AM GOING TO TAKE A BIG FUCKING SHIT ALL OVER THIS FUCKING SHIT...MICHAEL BAY STYLE!

SALTY TEARS THREAD IS FOR EVERYMAN NOT JUST FANS OF GHAI SPORTS!

OMG! DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE LANKY BLACK DUDE PLAYING B-BALL, SOMEONE TOUCHED HIM AND HE CRIED...SALTY SALTY SALTY SALTY TEARS.

...CRAPITOL AEL OUT...

VikingMoose|4.14.11 @ 11:35AM|

pssst. someone fell asleep while humping his Jim Rome bobblehead again...

VikingMoose|4.15.11 @ 8:41AM|

12 Deadlifts (no more than 50% of 5RM)
40 Wall balls (20 lbs)
9 Deadlifts
30 Wall balls
6 Deadlifts
20 Wall balls
3 Deadlifts
10 Wall balls

Kolohe|4.16.11 @ 10:47AM|

I tried some of the 'cross-fit' stuff when I was over in Afghanistan. I was some difficult stuff, I couldn't keep with it. I'll tell you though, the peeps that kept with it got in some wickedly good shape.

VikingMoose|4.17.11 @ 10:11AM|

totally!

for general fitness goals ("general physical preparedness", or "GPP"), it's pretty good.

There are a bunch of GPP protocols out there that are also excellent. xfit a step up from (what I think is crap) p90x and other "fitness club" styles of exercise program.

Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength is still the benchmark, IMO, for strength training. And Ross (rosstraining.com) has awesome workouts for combat sports.

Mrs Moose and I do xfit (or I will be doing again in a few months), and we enjoy it. Our gym has a bunch of former college athletes from diverse sports, so it's a really fun mix.

oh, yeah, and there's eye candy for everyone :)

but yeah - at the xfit board, you see a bunch of military types who do it. the pics of makeshift workout areas in Iraq and Afghanistan are pretty wild!

VM|4.15.11 @ 8:42AM|

...and 1500

VikingMoose|4.18.11 @ 8:22AM|

am gonna have some fun with the DERMs today. the eraser-sized, one-stitch wonder they created and covered with a paving brick-sized dressing will be returned (in pristine, healed condition) in same style of dressing.

VikingMoose|4.18.11 @ 6:58PM|

they got a kick out of it.

and this time they have nothing to do with the next biopsy.

VikingMoose|4.19.11 @ 8:00AM|

good morning reason.

what a day for a neck CT. and a biopsy tomorrow. good times.

VikingMoose|4.19.11 @ 1:41PM|

exhibit 999,990,476 about why high end health care is worth it.

really cool people. on to the next thing.

Kolohe|4.19.11 @ 7:40PM|

"and a biopsy tomorrow"

You know who else had an ugly mass removed on April 20th?

VikingMoose|4.20.11 @ 9:06AM|

I sure do, Kolohe. HIS mom.

the odds are in my favor that there's nothing like that, either on a personal or international level.

VikingMoose|4.20.11 @ 9:11AM|

good morning reason. shout out to friend Steve, who's getting a med procedure today. (it's the day for them).

and happy post birthday to Radley! (and my neice, LAM. and oldest friend, JSH). it's like July 19th was schtupp day! :)

VikingMoose|4.21.11 @ 7:56AM|

All is well with Steve (woo hoo!)

now, have a great day.

|4.21.11 @ 9:43PM|

So am I understanding this correctly? You're getting a Hitlerechtomy?

VikingMoose|4.22.11 @ 8:48AM|

am getting the results, probably, this afternoon...

VikingMoose|4.22.11 @ 8:49AM|

oh hay hai gaiz. it's fraedae. yay!

VikingMoose|4.23.11 @ 9:20AM|

CATURDAY.

and no results. must wait til Monday.

VikingMoose|4.24.11 @ 10:16AM|

at least there's no Spanish Inquisition hier... we're expecting them...

Kolohe|4.24.11 @ 1:36PM|

Which unfortunately proves we're just nobody.

VikingMoose|4.25.11 @ 7:55AM|

... AND! that the comfy chair and the noam chomsky blow up doll are pleasant diversions for us! with the soft cushions n everything!

VikingMoose|4.25.11 @ 7:54AM|

rockstar tour continues to 676/2 for blood work. news later, I guess.

top of the mornin' to ewe, reason

VikingMoose|4.26.11 @ 9:12AM|

okay. AEJ Macroeconomics and Applied don't have any articles of particular interest. hrumph.

|4.26.11 @ 12:56PM|

You should get a Kindle and load it up with books. Or porn. Or games. Whatever floats your boat while in the process of waiting around for others.

VikingMoose|4.27.11 @ 8:14AM|

most of the waiting is at home. did get a kindle from my now former co-workers. awesomely nice of them!

|5.11.11 @ 7:07PM|

It's a nice piece of equipment. I'm not buying much new to read on it, but I am collecting public domain works.

VikingMoose|4.27.11 @ 8:17AM|

oh yeah. good morning.

VikingMoose|4.28.11 @ 7:56AM|

No comment.

Kolohe|4.29.11 @ 5:00PM|

good idea. You should make sure you get a sweet deal on the book rights before telling the tale of how you 'entertained' Kate's bachelorette party.

VikingMoose|5.2.11 @ 8:27AM|

STILL CANNOT FIND MY PANTS. AND MY INNER MONOLOGUE IS NOW EXTERNAL.

AND I'M SHOUTING!!!

VikingMoose|4.29.11 @ 8:58AM|

hmmm. yar.

good morning.

VikingMoose|5.2.11 @ 8:28AM|

Today's word of the day, boys and girls is, "Pyhrric" as in "Pyhrric Victory"

VikingMoose|5.3.11 @ 8:38AM|

yar. good morning, reason.

VikingMoose|5.4.11 @ 11:45AM|

wow. they took an entire lymph node...

|5.4.11 @ 5:50PM|

That seems wrong to me, somehow. Like you should get it back.

We need to get you out of these medical people's hands. Maybe the physicists could abduct you or something?

VikingMoose|5.5.11 @ 8:24AM|

it's to the battle plan the way one would use a building's blueprint :)

if this thing weren't so freaky (potential, not procedures), there's some really cool stuff going on!

|5.5.11 @ 4:26PM|

Just don't let them cyborg you.

VikingMoose|5.5.11 @ 8:27AM|

psyched about AER journal! happy 100 years, AEA!

(Prof Hall's front article looks particularly good, and the diversity of folks in his "thanks" section is impressive!)

VikingMoose|5.6.11 @ 9:41AM|

Nooner.

yar.

|5.18.11 @ 5:23PM|

Love the nooner!

|5.6.11 @ 8:30PM|

I just hope that next year we get to see Santorum bow out, and once again witness his older, but more socially awkward spawn crying on the teevee. If it's at the hands of RoPo or Gee-Jay then even better.

VikingMoose|5.7.11 @ 10:59AM|

yes! then something else would be yummy and sweet!!!

VikingMoose|5.8.11 @ 10:08AM|

bland hair day.

Hugh Akston|5.9.11 @ 12:08AM|

The sad thing is that even after Santorum inevitably blows the GOP nomination for the last time, he still will have made more impact on the world than any man to hold the office ever has, or any person to hold the office ever will.

Minion of URKOBOLD|5.10.11 @ 10:16AM|

WRONG, SILLY MORTAL.

THE HEF HAS MADE THE BIGGEST, HARDEST IMPACT ON THE WORLD. SUCH A FIRM, PIRKY IMPACT. LUSCIOUS, CURVACEOUS IMPACT. DELICIOUS, SUPPLE IMPA---

*hurries off to Stevo's bunk

|5.11.11 @ 9:40AM|

RIP JsubD

Reason commenters never die; they become two percenters in the sky.

VikingMoose|5.11.11 @ 10:41AM|

a day for Jsub.

|5.11.11 @ 1:43PM|

A thread for JSub.

|5.11.11 @ 1:12PM|

Goodbye, J sub D. We'll never forget you.

|5.11.11 @ 1:44PM|

Who?

|5.11.11 @ 1:50PM|

Too soon.

lunchstealer|5.11.11 @ 2:11PM|

Fuckin' A.

Kolohe|5.12.11 @ 2:01PM|

fuckin' a.

Kolohe|5.12.11 @ 2:01PM|

fuckin' a.

|5.11.11 @ 3:05PM|

I hereby declare this thread the J sub D Memorial Thread. Under the federal historical landmark law, this means this thread can never expire, be shut down, or altered without the filing of many forms, most of which are very difficult to find. In triplicate, naturally.

|5.12.11 @ 3:00PM|

Actually, the forms can be found

hier

VikingMoose|5.12.11 @ 5:21PM|

then - It is this poster's personal opinion that Pilly Pecker is a jerk, poopie face, and a mega pussy. And his ditch will get the same arafat treatment. hopefully soon. and absolutely hopefully before moi, of course.

|5.13.11 @ 2:39PM|

Apropos.

As is bin Laden's computer being found stuffed with porn. At last, al Qaeda's fatal weakness has been uncovered.

|5.13.11 @ 2:40PM|

Sorry, this was in response to highnumber. Damned nested threaded heretical threaded nested upsetting nonsense.

VikingMoose|5.14.11 @ 9:41AM|

that's one of those "facts" that I am not believing now. SoCons hier go nuts when their heroes are caught going against their über morals. So going by that, planting the porn or even just saying that there is pr0N could diminish OBL as a symbol

Afghanistan and Iraq have been muddled through with so little cultural understanding already...

|5.16.11 @ 4:13PM|

Of course, most of the Middle East loves porn. So saying bin Laden had porn means nothing.

On the other hand, if we were making it up, you'd think it would involve something that would shock Arabs. Like porn with improper images in it.

VikingMoose|5.17.11 @ 9:54AM|

And pilly pecker is still a jackwad.

(am getting the feeling he's not liking how I've been wandering around the intertubes insulting him, tee hee)

VikingMoose|5.15.11 @ 9:56AM|

the lake is really cool today, after some intense NE flow

VikingMoose|5.17.11 @ 9:51AM|

minimal effects from infusion. woo!

VikingMoose|5.18.11 @ 8:37AM|

yew can run, but yooo can't hide pilly. this is the internets. and always with a bit of humor. and all wholly innocent

|5.18.11 @ 5:24PM|

Where you been seeing Pilly?

Kolohe|5.18.11 @ 9:20PM|

He was threadshitting on the J sub D thread and at the corresponding one on the Agitator.

VikingMoose|5.24.11 @ 9:29AM|

yup. and a few other sites. he was an anti skeptic on a science site. some "austrian economics" (giggle) site (not done by an actual economist but someone who thought they understood the words, like most of 'em). was significantly rude to him there.

Begged him to come to Chicago and try to break my nose on another.

you know. typical 2005 behavior :)

Kolohe|5.18.11 @ 9:25PM|

Speaking of despicable human beings, I happened to catch a bit of this thread's headwaters when being interviewed by Hannity today. Same talking points as here http://www.slate.com/BLOGS/blo.....rture.aspx but what was funny is that he actually freudian slipped between 'torture' and 'enhanced interrogation'.

Hugh Akston|5.19.11 @ 12:05AM|

I think we should have the squirrels officially rename this "The J sub D Memorial Salty Ham Tears Thread".

Hugh Akston|5.19.11 @ 12:08AM|

Also, to have the referees grant him a posthumous score on the older daughter.

Vermont Gun Owner|5.23.11 @ 3:41PM|

Best pick up line ever: Can you tell me about Massachusetts gun laws?

Even better: It worked and we're going on a date once I move in to Boston.

VikingMoose|5.24.11 @ 9:31AM|

[frustration] ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! BAWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
GARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
MROOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
RRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWRRRRRR
[/frustration]

VikingMoose|5.25.11 @ 1:22PM|

some lovely weather.

and dammit, tuck up those pajamas.

VikingMoose|5.26.11 @ 8:10AM|

lovely weather, this.

lousy baseball game last night. am blaming the weather, of course. 12 straight balls? really? he's not a bad pitcher. just wasn't compatible with the conditions. happens.

VikingMoose|5.27.11 @ 9:22AM|

happy friday, gang.

Wayne and Sulu, still on vacation, say hello. They were staying with Emo Vampire, and a whole bunch of other, original programming :)

VikingMoose|5.27.11 @ 9:30AM|

The Bulls' loss is so yummy and sweet. particularly love the whining on local sports radio!

all the talk, "D-Rose simply refuses to let his team lose". or from a 9am ESPN broadcast where the one host's tongue is about 4 feet up Boston's pooper: "Coach T is like Bill [Bellacheat]. Give him more than one game against a team, he'll shut them down". where's that now, giggle?

and "the bulls never get the call. LeBron got all the calls".

I guess that was okay in the 90s with stuff like that, right? Iconic pic of Jordan after his push off, anyone?

Since 1999, the Bulls fans/Bulls reporting is in the running for biggest whiners in US pro sports.

And their loss is delicious.

*ambles off, happily*

|5.27.11 @ 2:28PM|

I went to the Lightning game Wednesday night. I enjoyed the suffering of the Boston fans in attendance. I hope to enjoy more of the same tonight, though more remotely. What an obnoxious place it is.

VikingMoose|5.27.11 @ 3:16PM|

totally agree! and am completely cheering for Tampa, too!

Kolohe|5.29.11 @ 9:47AM|

http://www.sadtrombone.com/

VikingMoose|5.29.11 @ 10:44AM|

:)

|5.31.11 @ 1:31PM|

Well, I guess I'll have to defer my schadenfreude until after the Cup returns to Canada.

VikingMoose|5.30.11 @ 9:58AM|

Besides Lana entering the DANGER ZONE, the transformation in Chicago from March to July is now complete.

VikingMoose|5.31.11 @ 10:47AM|

dumbasses actually got heatstroke on the bleedin beach yesterday. wtf? it's the first hot day. what'd you expect?

freakin morons.

|5.31.11 @ 1:42PM|

Warmer by the lake.

Kolohe|5.31.11 @ 7:30PM|

Is that why the police closed to beach? http://www.suntimes.com/569521.....l-day.html
That didn't make any sense to me, even by the standards of Chicago police actions.

VikingMoose|6.1.11 @ 9:52AM|

yes - emergency vehicles couldn't get through, even the beach-modified ones.

(probably exacerbated due to the proliferation of volleyball nets that take up perfectly good beach space)

but it made sense. It looked unusually crowded out there. I don't remember it looking that packed.

VikingMoose|6.9.11 @ 9:48AM|

the scuttlebutt has been that the beaches were closed due to "flash mob" activity. That's the sanitized term for "gangs".

There's been a series of attacks along Chicago Ave from the lake west to the Kimball/brown line. The breakdown is "a lot against one victim".

Chicago Ave is a main east-west street that goes through the Mag Mile, River North, and other tourist destinations.

VikingMoose|6.2.11 @ 7:35AM|

oh - another day, another test...

(and the lake does look lovely today)

VikingMoose|6.3.11 @ 10:03AM|

"seeing that the VP's such a VIP, shouldn't we keep the PC on the QT, cuz if it leaks to the VC, he could end up MIA, and we'll all be put on KP"

VikingMoose|6.4.11 @ 10:41AM|

*I saw what you did there*

VikingMoose|6.6.11 @ 8:30AM|

triple Em - just you wait. oh yes. "coming around" etc. bowahahahahaha!

und it vill be yer own dooink!

|6.6.11 @ 12:53PM|

Happy D-Day, VM.

VikingMoose|6.6.11 @ 6:11PM|

absolutely! was thinking about that this morning! (like every other year!)

and over the weekend Gettysburg and Midway also got props.

VikingMoose|6.7.11 @ 9:32AM|

lake = lovely.

Paul Revere rode through town yesterday, giving presents, loading a flintlock while on horseback, and dueling with the easter bunny.

VikingMoose|6.7.11 @ 4:44PM|

"tests are improving. come in tomorrow. we need more monitoring, just to make sure that we're adjusting everything optimally".

love it how the specialists are right on top of things and call personally. You really get an excellence sense of confidence. Very cool.

|6.9.11 @ 1:58PM|

That's what makes them special!

VikingMoose|6.9.11 @ 4:39PM|

absolutely!

VikingMoose|6.8.11 @ 10:42AM|

okay. listening to the patients in the waiting room: why the hell are you even at the office? let's see how well you maintain your health (given your condition) on your diet of woo that you're spouting! woah!

VikingMoose|6.8.11 @ 3:59PM|

but nothing that a circuit of thrusters, overhead squats, lunges, burpees, renegade rows, and DB swings (American style) couldn't cure!

love it love it love it.

VikingMoose|6.9.11 @ 9:51AM|

um. had a step back on the tests. that means unless there's some good improvement on Mon, another liver biopsy.

clean diet. good hydration. exercise. one of those tough cases where normal behavior is already optimized. Just have to trust the treatment.

Fortunately it's known what to do. The tricky part is getting the right balance, since the PTLD complicates things a bit.

VikingMoose|6.9.11 @ 9:53AM|

... and 1600

VikingMoose|6.10.11 @ 9:50AM|

lake is lovely. and it's not 9000 billion degrees. :)

and "Lindy's Party" is a decent album.

|6.10.11 @ 1:56PM|

So how much hydration are you supposed to get? I saw something suggesting that for gout, they think you should drink up to a gallon a day. They being they who think about such things.

VikingMoose|6.10.11 @ 5:26PM|

funny - I do take a med that also gets written for gout patients. and they mentioned something about uber hydration for gout patients (as a kidney thing)

it's a balancing act wrt hydration: i initially presented with sodium of 112, which is rather low. It seems to be sensitive to my hydration levels, but all the other meds have "take with plenty of h2o" comments, and to spare kidney function (tacro does a number on them), you want more hydration.

conflicting medical needs = juggling act.

probably half to 3/4 a gallon a day is what it comes out to

VikingMoose|6.13.11 @ 8:38AM|

congrats Dallas!! and Dirk!! well done!

and now, to LeBron haters:

unless you're from Cleveland, please tone it down. you sound like a jilted lover. particularly if you're a bulls or knicks fan.

(the first 10 calls/texts/emails to ESPN radio last night were ragging on LeBron. not one from Cleveland, they said. L.A.M.E.)

VikingMoose|6.13.11 @ 10:52AM|

not as lame as the patients with behavioral-based conditions this morning.

my fave is the hardcore social conservative who bitches about everything in the frame of "personal responsibility". He's put on about 20 since I last saw him.

liver recipients generally should avoid that.

then the other recipient who smelled like an ash tray - you might not want to do that, either. the new organ doesnt like that much. and who cares what language the people in front of you are speaking!

but yes, we can see from your t-shirt that you're proud to be an american. very good. *pat pat*

VikingMoose|6.14.11 @ 9:26AM|

you're approaching the top of The List.

and you know who you are.

VikingMoose|6.15.11 @ 9:15AM|

lake definitely looks lovely today.

and definitely prefer Russian style KB swings.

VikingMoose|6.16.11 @ 9:49AM|

Big 500:
10 rounds of
10 burpees
10 situps
10 pushups
10 air squats
10 lunges (5/leg)

crazy fives:
AMRAP 25 minutes
5 DB burpees (with deadlift instead of jump/clap)
5 overhead squats (DB or BB)
5 weighted lunges/leg (with front raise as knee touches)
5 KB/DB swings

VikingMoose|6.17.11 @ 5:11PM|

sotts press FTW.

VikingMoose|6.17.11 @ 12:06PM|

lake is most definitely lovely today.

am considering passing out copies of Romer's Macro book, and the intro book, "econ of health ... by Folland...

but what the hay. you can't cure stoopid.

Kolohe|6.18.11 @ 9:45AM|

'Burpee' is the funniest name for an exercise since the 'clean and jerk'

VikingMoose|6.18.11 @ 11:44AM|

absolutely!

and the OLY motion always seems to be out of order. It should be "jerk then clean".

VikingMoose|6.19.11 @ 10:52AM|

dear bland:

the lake would look lovely if it were to appear from beneath the blanket of lake-effect fog

VikingMoose|6.20.11 @ 8:39AM|

really cool rain this morning.
the "not today, but soon" workout:
21-15-9
Front Squat
12-9-6
Push Press

5 Rounds for time:
250m Row
20 KB Swings, unbroken
Rest 60s

VikingMoose|6.21.11 @ 10:33AM|

we know that salty ham tears serve as a good base for a salad dressing.

Now, this is tough (in the context of sports) to write: Get better, soon, Albert. Even though you're the star of St Louis, there is still a ton of awesome potential needs to be realized!!

VikingMoose|6.22.11 @ 9:56AM|

how's the produce fields in Georgia doing?

VikingMoose|6.23.11 @ 7:48AM|

*enjoying this again-forgotten thread*

**hopping around** wheeeee!!!!

letsee how impressed the ONC is today.

Kolohe|6.23.11 @ 8:50PM|

The Urkobold(TM) sees all, so I'm sure he's seen this confluence of Evil Fisiks and Bouncy Bouncy
http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US.....308866387/

VikingMoose|6.24.11 @ 7:51AM|

awesome! they are evil in their bounciness, too! and I heard that they say, "harmonicky harmonicky" instead of "bouncy bouncy", too!

like totally bogus evil!

VikingMoose|6.24.11 @ 7:52AM|

oh yeah. and the lake looks lovely today.

VikingMoose|6.25.11 @ 8:32AM|

ohdeer. I wonder into what type of animal Mrs. Santorum transformed last night. NY ruined their marriage.

mrow!!! fttt fttt!

Hugh Akston|6.28.11 @ 2:48AM|

Maybe now she can take that ridiculous wig off and they can all move to NY and live an honest life.

|6.28.11 @ 7:51PM|

Hey Moose,
Just popped round to say hi and we all miss you back at the pub.
Also I completed another sortie in Operation Vicarious. It involved grain alcohol, tennis shoes, and a cape. And nothing else.

VikingMoose|7.4.11 @ 5:01PM|

AWESOME!!!!

victory depends on exactly such actions! and the Bad Guys now wish they had picked the Better Side!

Banjos|6.30.11 @ 12:28AM|

♫ Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your balls hang low? ♫

|6.30.11 @ 4:51PM|

I'm thinking about opening a restaurant in this thread. Nothing pretentious, just good, old-fashioned, fried haggis.

VikingMoose|7.4.11 @ 5:02PM|

lake looks lovely
overhead squats rule
a good steak cures woes
and the acceleration of an American Muscle Car is pure joy.

VikingMoose|7.5.11 @ 11:33AM|

more lake-tastic-ness going on.

AND NO FUCKING CURLING IN THE SQUAT RACK.

actually, why the hell are you curling at all (save for prehab/rehab)?

|7.6.11 @ 8:36AM|

Must be Canadians.

VikingMoose|7.6.11 @ 9:42AM|

that would explain the proliferation of female impersonators who are portrayed by women!

VikingMoose|7.6.11 @ 9:45AM|

oh yeah.

and the lake looks lovely today. let's hope this afternoon's appointment with the HEP is also successful. (and yesterday's blood draw. want two weeks in a row of relatively good news)

VikingMoose|7.7.11 @ 3:00PM|

condensation can weaken shopping bags until they tear. Spill all over State Street (at Elm... ugh)

VikingMoose|7.8.11 @ 8:08AM|

the (overly)simplistic LP scare letter on "supplements and the fda" underscored that it's not just the complexities of econ they simply don't get. what a disappointment. save the simplistic, "sound bite" bullshit for the gop, k? thxbye.

VikingMoose|7.8.11 @ 8:09AM|

never mind that shit. how's the lake look today?

Kolohe|7.8.11 @ 1:30PM|

Let me guess. Lovely?

|7.8.11 @ 4:11PM|

And cooler. By the lake, I mean.

VikingMoose|7.9.11 @ 10:06AM|

you're both right. for today. Monday, it's not gonna do much.

|7.8.11 @ 1:36PM|

Did I ever mention that I am a detained lesbian Syrian blogger?

'Cause I totally am.

VikingMoose|7.9.11 @ 10:09AM|

FrBunny - excellent!

GinSlinger is coming to our ville tomorrow. The usual gang seems to be excited. Except for Crane. We have to keep an eye on him...

Since his abduction by evil fiziks types 69 days ago, we all have to be extra cautious...

VikingMoose|7.10.11 @ 12:35PM|

GINSLINGER on way to Chicago! yay!!!

Kolohe|7.10.11 @ 7:37PM|

What does Mr. Sturgis Brombelberre think about these recent developments?

Dieter Schwing|7.11.11 @ 8:41AM|

Onkel Sturgie has always been the black sheep of the family!

However, I have it on reliable information that he gives his approval for the loveliness of the lake this morning.

VikingMoose|7.11.11 @ 8:44AM|

word of the day: ROCKSTAR.

oh yeah.

VikingMoose|7.12.11 @ 10:08AM|

Obama should hire ESPN for marketing. How they've magically implanted "history" into people's heads is amazing! and how they stick to their script, too! and how they deflect criticism. amazing!

VikingMoose|7.13.11 @ 9:03AM|

melted peanut butter.

mmmmmmm.

VikingMoose|7.13.11 @ 9:05AM|

*furtively looks around to ensure nobody else is watching*

VikingMoose|7.13.11 @ 12:54PM|

yay. USA! USA! USA! 1-0 halftime.

VikingMoose|7.14.11 @ 9:52AM|

dear bland:

self reliance is the reliance on the self to be reliable.

then where is the margarine? why isn't it next to the coconut oil? I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!!!

(wheeee! this is fun, being all alone hier)

VikingMoose|7.15.11 @ 12:26PM|

a coupla things:
to that jackass "chris" over at one of the donation sites - are you really that fucking stupid? apparently yes.

to "jones" - you fell for it. ha ha. totally set it up, and they told us what they were hoping your reaction would be. swish! from way outside! a four point play!
"steve" - you actually defended that old man's actions against that boy???? wow. there's catholicism for you, people. can't quite let it go once it's got its claws in you. kinda tells you everything you need to know.

since people are involved, "how incredibly stupid" will be back next time with guaranteed twaddlenockery. Next: people who overestimate their own human capital: "is the bosu ball for them?"

VikingMoose|7.15.11 @ 2:30PM|

the lake looks lovely today
the mac starts today, too! know it's the height of summer now!
next big milestones: little league world series (why the hell is that televised? and the us is a whiny biatch about it). and hopefully preseason football/mike and mike 2 a days

toss up: see the harry palm potter or "bad bosses"...

VikingMoose|7.16.11 @ 11:03AM|

bad bosses, or whatever it's called.

9 to 5 and Office Space. with some sort of typical action movie stuff/editing. some very funny scenes. others, not so much. okay. movie.

the actual only really, really terrible boss was the dentist. the other two, meh. get around. you'll see.

VikingMoose|7.16.11 @ 4:17PM|

good luck to all the sailors in the Mac! we're cheering you on as you sail on by!

VikingMoose|7.17.11 @ 11:25AM|

will figure out the math of months at some point. In the meantime, Mas-Colell will have to do.

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