i emailed you earlier about masturbation, and here is a link from the sexual recovery institute about how there actually is harm that comes from masturbation. read the last two paragraphs before the treatment section. this is taking over my life please help me http://www.sexualrecovery.com/resources/articles/understanding-compulsive-masturbation.php
by Patricia Fawver: (01/10/2006)
Thanks for writing in with your question about masturbation, frequency, lubricants, and friction burn. I have read the article you mentioned from sexualrecovery.com. The viewpoints about human sexuality as described in that article are different than those that are commonly understood within the field of Sexology. I am going to give you some thoughts and suggestions from a sexological perspective for you to think about. You can consider both viewpoints and see which fits best for you.
I will start with the simplest things first. Regarding the lubrication issue, I understood you to say that the lubrication you are using is increasing the burning and irritation. Stop using that particular lubricant and switch to one that is less likely to cause irritation. Saliva is one possibility. Astroglide and KY Jelly (without nonoxynol) are two other's. Many types of lubricant are sold at most drug stores. Just read the ingredients and choose one that is least likely to cause irritation.
Regarding the friction burn - how exactly are you masturbating? You mentioned being on your tummy and rubbing your penis on the bed. Genital tissues are sensitive and are easily prone to irritation. Sheets, washcloths, towels, sweatpants, or other items made of fabric could possibly be too rough for your skin or masturbation style. I would suggest that you begin experimenting with masturbating in different ways. Roll over on your back or side and try touching your penis in a stroking motion, using plenty of lubrication. When the saliva or lubrication begins to dry out, add more to keep things moist. Since most people become accustomed to stimulating themselves in a particular way, you will probably have to experiment with different ways of touching yourself to find what feels good.
Regarding the masturbation itself - masturbation is a normal, self-pleasuring activity that most human beings (and many animals, as well) participate in. It is good to know your body, your sexual response cycle and how to pleasure yourself. This knowledge is an essential part of sharing your sexuality with a partner as well. Masturbating together with a partner can be a great way to share your sexual self, to teach your partner about you, and to learn about your partner as well. So, have fun and enjoy your ability to engage in bodily pleasure.
Note: It is fairly common for testosterone-based folks to feel the desire to release sexual tension through orgasm both in the morning upon awakening and at night before falling asleep. This frequency pattern is more typical among younger males than it is among older males. Testosterone is a very powerful hormone which has a significant impact on our sexual desire, arousal, and sexual response. So, if you are experiencing the strong effects of your hormones, this is normal.
Regarding the compulsion issue - Some people do get into compulsive habits regarding their masturbation patterns. This can involve feelings of being out of control, spending too much money or time, feeling isolated, etc. If these issues are really of concern to you, you might consider going to see a Clinical Sexologist or Sex Therapist. To locate one near you, check out the following organizations for a listing of therapists: American Board of Sexology; American College of Sexologists; or American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.
Good luck to you and feel free to write back if you have further questions. Thanks, Patty Fawver
Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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