"Peepshow," the new topless show at Planet Hollywood starring Mel B. and Kelly Monaco, has been getting a lot of buzz since the grand opening late last month. Part of this has come from celebrity press after Lindsay Lohan took in the show and, for a few days anyway, there was speculation she wanted to join the cast. Then someone broke into Kelly Monaco's penthouse suite in Planet Hollywood and allegedly robbed her while she was hiding in the back room.

(I have since spoken to police, who allege Monaco's door was kicked in by a man, arrested by police after checking into the Venetian, who had earlier had a run-in with Planet Hollywood security.)

So, part of the buzz, like I said, has come from events unrelated to "Peepshow." Still, in this market, at this time, I can't think of a more efficient way to get the word out about a show than via Lindsay Lohan. O tempora, o mores! The good news that should be going out with the celebrity stories is that if you want a show meant to put vacationing couples in the mood to spend quality time together, go to "Peepshow." 

"Peepshow" attempts to spruce up and modernize the classic Vegas topless show. This idea, of course, is totally lacking in originality. Updating the Vegas adult show by giving it a contemporary twist has been the approach of at least 10 shows I can count off the top of my head, over the last decade. These shows  mostly are now closed.  And, of the survivors, the best of these is "Fantasy" at Luxor. Well, it used to be until "Peepshow." Director/choreographer Jerry Mitchell clearly had a blast creating this show, and the sense of uninhibited fun runs through the entire production. And, he gets the rules for a Vegas show, and that is going to be a big help with "Peepshow." One telling example: Usually a new show starts at 90 minutes and works that time down over the first few months to 75 minutes, but Mitchell's fast-paced production is launched already at 75 minutes.

"Peepshow" attempts a sort of storyline that mixes a nursery rhyme theme with a  Vegas-style uplifting message that seems to be about how important it is to be very promiscuous while finding your true love. But when you actually see Monaco's true love, a truly extraordinary muscleman rope act in tight blue jeans, staged in a bathtub, you will not really remember problems with the plot.  Actually, that man just made me feel inadequate in almost every way, but fortunately I know the work that it takes to do what he does. When I went to rehearsals for the show, for a Weekly story, I saw that actor standing off by himself doing arm curls and other very muscle specific exercises with a rope and pulley tied to a rail. Everyone else rehearsed and he just worked one muscle after another off by himself.

As with every topless show, "Peepshow" comes down to a series of set pieces where the showgirls are featured individually or in groups. But even in the weakest bits, the production values on "Peepshow" keep things moving. And, the strong bits are many.  One smart move was hiring a showgirl who can also sing, onetime "American Idol" contestant Katie Webber, whose feature on "Teddy" is a highlight.

If there is a weakness here, it is in the stars, who may bring in people, but neither Mel B, who has the harder role of the two stars, nor Kelly Monaco manages much charisma when compared with the rest of the cast. Monaco in particular is a stick of wood onstage, usually being ushered about by another actor. It should be noted that neither star goes topless. And, how topless everyone else is in "Peepshow" will depend on your definition of topless. One Vegas tradition "Peepshow" maintains is the strategic use of pasties.

The truth is that "Peepshow" is not at all ambitious, which is why it works so well. This show has just one goal: Get you in a certain mood. "Peepshow" is meant to be (and succeeds at being) a perfect way to spend 75 minutes of your vacation enjoying the straightforward erotic charge that comes from a physically gorgeous, talented and well-directed cast focused on generating heat.

Photo: Kelly Monaco. Credit: John Ganun

Sometimes a story comes along about Vegas that confuses me. Actually, almost every day something happens here that confuses me. And then I figure it out on the Buffet for you. But this story I have yet to figure out. I have calls into Planet Hollywood as well as to outside casino security experts. But I have yet to get an explanation for how a burglar could possibly randomly target Peepshow star Kelly Monaco's penthouse suite at Planet Hollywood.

Remember the security footage of O. J. Simpson at the off-Strip Palace Station? Now, imagine what the security is like at the penthouse level of a Strip resort for a celebrity guest.

I admit, I have never been to a Planet Hollywood penthouse suite. But I have done interviews at penthouse suites in other resorts, such as the MGM, and never was I allowed to wander into that area of the hotel without passing a security guard who checked a list or made a call before granting access. This was true even when being escorted by a hotel employee.

Then there is the lock on the hotel room door itself.  Unlike your home, it is almost impossible to leave your door unlocked by mistake in a resort room on the Strip (without intentionally propping the door open).

So, did the robber just take out burglary tools and start working the lock in front of all of the hotel security cameras in the hallway? And if the burglary was an inside job using a card key to the room, then how can it be a random robbery as the story alleges? And, wouldn't a burglar able to exploit security at a major Strip resort also know that, at best, the end of the trail would come when reaching the highly secure safe that all penthouse suites (and even most high-end rooms) on the Strip come with as standard equipment.

Anyway, I will get answers and update this item. But my strong gut instinct is that whatever happened did not happen in any way like UPI or Norm Clarke (who pointedly only implies the event took place at Planet Hollywood) in the Review-Journal  relate.

Photo: Kelly Monaco: Credit John Ganun

I have been skeptical about the differences represented by the Aladdin's changeover to Planet Hollywood, maybe too skeptical.

My main problem with Planet Hollywood has to do with design issues left over from the Aladdin years -- such as the lengthy walk from the parking garage to the resort. Also, with Beauty of Magic, Planet Hollywood unabashedly and enthusiastically offered one of the worst shows in recent memory at a major Strip resort.

Beauty of Magic closed shortly after Planet Hollywood's grand opening back in November. Over New Year's weekend, when there were unbelievable taxi lines everywhere else, I walked to Planet Hollywood knowing I would be able to catch a cab  there without a tremendous wait. I was right. There was no wait.